#765 From Fear & Suffering - to - Love & Joy

     “Wisdom is deep understanding and practical skill in the central issues of life, especially existential and spiritual issues.
      Existential issues are those crucial and universal concerns all of us face simply because we are human. They include finding meaning and purpose in our lives; managing relationships and aloneness; acknowledging our limits and smallness in a universe vast beyond comprehension; living in inevitable uncertainty and mystery; and dealing with sickness, suffering, and death. A person who has developed deep insights into these issues – and skills for dealing with them – is wise indeed.
      Visionary wisdom sees that conventional ways of living are rife with suffering. Practical wisdom begins when a person recognizes there must be a better way to live and commits to finding it. The quest to awaken begins.
      Wisdom recognizes the awesome power of the mind to both create and cloud our experience, to produce ecstasy and suffering, and to learn or stagnate. Once you appreciate the all-consuming power of the mind, learning how your mind works and how to train it become vital goals.”

     Roger Walsh. “Essential Spirituality. The 7 Central Practices to Awaken Heart and Mind.” John Wiley & Sons Inc, 1999.

     "Our unwillingness to turn towards & relate kindly to negative mind states causes suffering." Bill Morgan

   “Our suffering is caused by holding on to how things might have been, should have been, could have been.” Stephen Levine

 

    "... investigate how resistance turns pain into suffering, the unpleasant into the unbearable." Stephen Levine

      “Our intelligence and dignity themselves are developed by our being alive for everything, including the mundane anguish of our lives. Just our awareness of our sensations, of our experience, with no object or idea in mind, is the practice of not preferring any particular state of mind. Intimacy with our activity and the objects around us connects us deeply to our lives. This connection – to the earth, our bodies, our sense impressions, our creative energies, our feelings, other people – is the only way I know of to alleviate suffering. To me, our awareness of these things without preference is a meditation that synchronizes body and mind. This synchronization, the experience of deep integrity, of being all of a piece, is a very deep healing. It is unconventional to value such a subtle experience. It is not encouraged in our culture. We’re much more apt to strive to feel special, uniquely talented, particularly loved. It’s extraordinary to be willing to live an ordinary life, to be fully alive for the laundry, to be present for the dishes. We overlook these everyday connections to our lives, waiting for the Big Event.
      Because our conditioning to avoid unpleasantness, the hardest thing may not be bearing the unpleasant experiences we have so much as learning how to experience the details of our suffering so thoroughly that ‘suffering,’ ‘stress,’ and ‘pain’ lose their distinctive character and just become our lives, and rich lives at that.”
      Darlene Cohen. “Turning Suffering Inside Out: A Zen Approach to Living with Physical and Emotional Pain.” Shambhala, 2002.

“If this world is to be healed through human efforts,

I am convinced it will be by ordinary people

whose love for life is even greater than their fear." Joanna Macy

      Joanna Macy “discovered that when people opened up to the pain they felt for the world, they began to sense a deeper connection with life.”

     “Wisdom is deep understanding and practical skill in the central issues of life, especially existential and spiritual issues.

      Existential issues are those crucial and universal concerns all of us face simply because we are human. They include finding meaning and purpose in our lives; managing relationships and aloneness; acknowledging our limits and smallness in a universe vast beyond comprehension; living in inevitable uncertainty and mystery; and dealing with sickness, suffering, and death. A person who has developed deep insights into these issues – and skills for dealing with them – is wise indeed.”

     Joseph Goldstein, Jack Kornfield. “Seeking the Heart of Wisdom. The Path of Insight Meditation.” Shambhala, 2001.

P. Michael Lovas photograph

#762 Overview of the Meditative Path

     While busy raising a family, establishing a career, and coping with the effects of various traumas, little time or energy remains to get one's bearings. A recent radio show: "The Death of Leisure" discussed how current societal pressures & priorities are so narrowly focused on productivity (work), that opportunities to "think about how to pursue the things we value" are disappearing. "So how do we reconfigure our relationship to the time we have and open it up so we can pursue the good life?" https://www.cbc.ca/radio/ideas/the-death-of-leisure-1.5470259
     A small proportion of us do seek out, and do obtain symptomatic relief from stress through meditation, including mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR).
     After children have grown & become independent, career has peaked (or starts winding down), and psychological issues have more or less resolved, a gnawing "lack" often still remains - or becomes more pressing than ever before. 
     But because most of us have so exclusively devoted ourselves to "productivity," our profession becomes our entire identity, so we often find ourselves lost & feeling empty by middle-age, and especially after we retire. So some swear "I'll never retire"; some quickly go back to work after a very brief retirement; and some very quickly die after retirement. The momentum of a lifetime of constant struggle & striving for financial security, material success & professional respect is powerful & enduring. 
     All life transitions are challenging, perhaps especially retirement: loss of identity; diminished prestige, income, control & social contacts; diminishing physical & mental health; fear of death; and perhaps the most frightening of all - becoming consciously aware (perhaps for the first time) of what's actually going on. Retirement is an inherent part of wise aging - something in which most of us have ZERO training, knowledge, or even interest. http://www.johnlovas.com/2011/12/successful-aging.html

     Serious meditation practice can help us far more than we can imagine:

      “Beginning meditation may be difficult. Just sitting immobile for a half hour can be arduous at first and intensive practice over a period of days can be powerful and at times disconcerting. Any unresolved psychological conflicts tend to surface as soon as attention is turned inward and the restless agitated nature of the untrained mind rapidly becomes apparent. Powerful surges of arousal and emotion may alternate with deep peace and joy.
     Even a few hours of intensive practice can easily demonstrate that our usual levels of awareness and perception are grossly insensitive, distorted, and outside voluntary control. Indeed, it rapidly becomes apparent that our usual degree of voluntary control of psychological processes is far less than commonly assumed. Amazingly enough, we can live a whole lifetime without recognizing the fact that these perceptual processes continuously control, create, and distort our reality as well as our ideas of who and what we are. Most people who have tried would probably agree that training the mind and bringing it under voluntary control is one of the most difficult tasks a person can undertake.
     The rewards of meditative practice tend to be subtle at first. Increased calm, sensitivity, receptivity, empathy, insight, and clarity are some of the qualities that may be experienced early as a result of regular practice. Old assumptions about oneself and the world are gradually surrendered, and more finely tuned, comprehensive perspectives begin to emerge.
     Such immediate benefits, however, are only tastes of what is potentially a profound transformative process, for when practiced intensely, meditation disciplines almost invariably lead into the transpersonal realm of experience. Advanced practitioners report states of consciousness, levels of perceptual sensitivity and clarity, and degrees of insight, calm, joy, and love that far exceed those experienced by most people in their daily life. A progressive sequence of altered states of consciousness can occur, which may ultimately result in the permanent, radical shift in consciousness known as enlightenment or liberation.”

       Roger Walsh. “Meditation: Doorway to the Transpersonal.” In R. Walsh, F. Vaughan eds. “Beyond Ego: Transpersonal Dimensions in Psychology.” JP Tarcher, 1980.

    For more depth & detail: http://www.johnlovas.com/2020/02/maturing-beyond-ordinary-happiness.html

#751 The Courage to Thrive

“... vulnerability is at the center of fear and shame, 
but it is also at the center of joy and gratitude and love and belonging.”     Brene Brown

 
"The secret of happiness is freedom.
And the secret of freedom is courage."    Thucydides


“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”    Anais Nin


“It takes courage to endure the sharp pains of self discovery, rather than 
choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.”    Marianne Williamson


“To wake up to our lives and to develop and sustain mindful awareness requires great courage. Mindfulness is not for the faint-hearted, nor for those timid or afraid of bearing witness to the often overwhelming brilliance, intensity, and complexity of their lives and world. To care deeply enough about waking up to our lives that we apply ourselves diligently to cultivating mindfulness, is a great act of courage, curiosity, and commitment. Properly practiced the intention to sustain mindful attention is supported by the attitudes of curiosity, openness, acceptance, and loving discernment."    Joel Levey

#728 Who's the busiest, most stressed-out, most exhausted?

     Don't we want to be talked about with admiration: "Oh, she's SO busy!" How many of us are workaholics, with tremendous drive & stamina, mostly wasted on busy-ness, spinning our wheels, trying to prove to ourselves & others how hard we work, how important & indispensable we are?

          “Do not confuse motion and progress.
          A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress."            Alfred A. Montapert 

 
     Then there's "non-doing" - the sense of rightness & effortlessness, arising from authenticity & congruence. It happens when behavior is skillful, decreasing suffering & increasing happiness long-term for oneself & others. There's no inner conflict, friction or noise, only silence, stillness, peace. The ego is quiet, allo- & ecocentric (rather than egocentric). Centeredness.

 

Fall in Halifax

#704 Choppy Waves AND Profound Stillness Beneath

www.elephantjournal.com

#697 Choosing to Nurture Wisdom over Ignorance

     At our deepest level, we all know to what degree we're being honestly authentic.
     From this depth of authenticity, we act with innate loving wisdom, increasing joy and decreasing suffering for all.
     Yet, fear and ignorance can lock us into our small selves, small cults, small dogmas, and other self-serving ideologies, leading to hate crimes against our fellow humans, other living creatures, and our environment. 
     So all of us carry both seeds of wisdom, as well as seeds of ignorance.  
     But what determines how we actually live our lives?

     An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy. "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."
     The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"
     The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
        http://www.firstpeople.us/FP-Html-Legends/TwoWolves-Cherokee.html


     “... I have seen evil men become good and that’s the only miracle that interests me.”                                     Satprakashananda
       Dana Sawyer “Huston Smith: Wisdomkeeper. Living the World’s Religions. The Authorized Biography of a 21st Century Spiritual Giant.” Fons Vitae, Louisville, KY, 2014. 

#685 Shipwrecks, Throughout Life

      An unpredictable number of complete collapses & rebuildings from scratch, of all that we understand to be true about the world & ourselves, are normal throughout life.
     How else could an innocent baby possibly come to know, accept & integrate the full range of her own, other humans' & Nature's ways & capacities?

     "For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn't understand growth, it would look like destruction."
       Cynthia Ocelli                www.wisdomatwork.com

          Shipwrecks: http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=shipwrecks
          and  http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=shipwrecks
          and  http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/search?q=shipwrecks

Public Gardens, Halifax, NS

#684 A Bird in the Hand Koan

     My daughter-in-law recounted a Tibetan teaching about having a wise relationship with transient moments of perceived happiness. 
     Consider a precious dove landing, briefly, on your open palm. And the moment the dove starts flying away ... can you truly love it, while letting it go?

     What if the dove's total freedom & happiness is not different than yours?

Agricola Street, Halifax, NS

#667 Experiencing the Benefits of Meditation Practice

     "Gradually, by experiencing the benefits of concentration and insight first hand, you will gain confidence that you have the capacity to endure pain with equanimity, that you are able to let go of destructive habits, and that you are worthy of the joy of a deeply tranquil mind."

       Shaila Catherine "Wisdom Wide and Deep. A Practical Handbook for Mastering Jhana and Vipassana." Wisdom, Boston, 2011.

DavidAMWA   www.dpreview.com

#665 Negativity isn't Enough

     "... natural negativity bias ... is our hardwired tendency to notice and amplify threats. It explains why so many people tend to believe that human life is brutal and cold, despite all evidence to the contrary. Negativity bias is the essence of natural selection: people who run away from a man with a gun or avoid a car running a red light are more likely to pass on their genes to the next generation. And these harrowing moments are more likely to burn themselves into our neurons than the gentle ones, so that we can avoid similar threats in the future." Jeremy Adam Smith "You Can Count on Goodness" Shambhala Sun, May 2015

     So, many (most?) of us are "nattering nabobs of negativity". Like those who are drowning, we'll latch onto anything that floats by - strongly-held opinions, dogmas etc. Even something as dysfunctional as cynicism seems more secure than "not knowing". But the fact is that we don't know much, and right within this space of "liminality" is where learning, creativity and growth happen. While rigid adherence to a jaundiced philosophy of life, though common, is pathological. See: http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=rigidity
     Instead of rigidly closing down in the face of uncertainty, we can thrive in our complex, ever-changing reality using a very different approach: bravery, curiosity, openness, resilience, perseverance and love. We can intentionally, progressively let go of fear-based rigidity, and learn to live vibrantly, embracing life as it is. See: http://www.johnlovas.com/2015/04/heart-mind-porousness-meditation.html

Gretel

#663 Open Minds Open Doors

"The greatest discovery of my generation
is that human beings can alter their lives
by altering their attitudes of mind." 

William James

WisdomAtWork.com

Akos Stiller   www.stillerakos.com

#654 Even More Craving & Avoidance Won't Get You There, Sorry ...

      “Obsessing about getting what you want, and avoiding what you don’t want, does not result in happiness.” 
                              Pema Chodron
 
     “The ‘secret’ of life that we are all looking for is just this: to develop through sitting and daily life practice the power and courage to return to that which we have spent a lifetime hiding from, to rest in the bodily experience of the present moment – even if it is a feeling of being humiliated, of failing, of abandonment, of unfairness.”
                              Charlotte Joko Beck

     “Your true home is wakefulness. Go home!”
                              Ashin Tejaniya

 

bitstream   www.dpreview.com

#652 Life's Difficulties AS Initiation

     “Life will initiate you. It will, in all it’s ways. It will make you face praise & blame, gain & loss, pleasure & pain, and joy & sorrow - it’s what it’s woven of. But to take it as an initiation, means to not avert your gaze, to not close your heart to the sorrows of the world, but to say ‘Yes, this has been given to me, and I will take this – the war that’s been given, the death, the injustice that’s the measure I’ve been given – and make something that is beautiful, some understanding or dignity out it.'
     As the Sufis say ‘Overcome any bitterness because you are not up to the magnitude of the pain that was entrusted to you. Like the mother of the world who carries the pain or the sorrows of the world in her heart, you are each endowed with a certain measure of cosmic pain, you are called upon to meet it in compassion & joy, instead of self-pity.’ "

        Kornfield J. "Awakening is Real. A Guide to the Deeper Dimensions of the Inner Journey." Sounds True (audio) www.soundstrue.com

WisdomAtWork.com

#646 The Mindfulness Movement in America: Opportunities and Challenges

“Mindfulness is pure awareness.

First, do no harm. How do you know if you’re doing harm or not? Through awareness.” 

Jon Kabat-Zinn PhD

Listen to Jon Kabat-Zinn's inspiring interview at this weekend's Wisdom 2.0 conference: 

http://new.livestream.com/accounts/2635433/events/3845334?origin=stream_live&mixpanel_id=13c72687a227fb-01aeae93db92f7-436f2b42

 

from Jon Kabat-Zinn's 2/28/2015 presentation at Wisdom 2.0

#643 Choosing our Energy

     This morning I was trying to deal with the glare ice that completely covers our driveway. While chipping away at the rock-hard ice, and doing my best to stay on my feet, I became aware of how incredibly close two vastly different, competing energies resided within me.
     Adversarial reactivity, the default energy, quickly, spontaneously arose - me against the ice; anger-based - get rid of this bloody nuisance, immediately! Our reptilian ancestry remains alive and fully functional in all of us - egocentric, impatient.
     But a few seconds later, a "choice gap" opened, and I realized that I'm here to do something kind for my wife, visitors and myself - making the driveway safer, hopefully to avoid injuries. The adversarial reaction immediately morphed into kind intention; time-poverty into timelessness; tightness into openness; coldness into warmth; smallness into spaciousness; fear, anxiety & anger into stillness, peace & love.
     We can waste an incredible amount of time & energy by angrily hacking away at all the challenges (& challengers!) that arise over a lifetime. Many of us are conditioned to routinely take an adversarial approach to life's difficulties. This is fear-based, ineffective, antagonizing, and very hard on everyone, including ourself. 
     
     With mindfulness training, we learn to quickly recognize & drop this default, bull-in-a-China-shop approach, and immediately a better choice presents. With training, we can choose to embody & enjoy awareness, kindness, timelessness, stillness, peace and joy, under any circumstance, no matter how challenging.

     More Nuanced Energy Choices: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2015/02/real-time-monitoring-of-our-own-energy.html

Ami Vitale, National Geographic   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

#625 Deep Inside - What? Why? How?

     Einstein famously said: "I think the most important question facing humanity is, ‘Is the universe a friendly place?’ This is the first and most basic question all people must answer for themselves. For if we decide that the universe is an unfriendly place, then we will use our technology, our scientific discoveries and our natural resources to achieve safety and power by creating bigger walls to keep out the unfriendliness and bigger weapons to destroy all that which is unfriendly and I believe that we are getting to a place where technology is powerful enough that we may either completely isolate or destroy ourselves as well in this process.”

     Those of us who feel that the universe IS a friendly place likely do so, because we’ve intentionally looked within, via meditation / contemplation, and have repeatedly found at the very least, a measure of sanity, self-compassion, kindness, peace and joy.
     Too many, however, are of the opposite opinion - that the universe is hostile. These folks avoid introspection due to fear. They then project the evil that (they mistakenly presume) lies within, outward, onto the universe. Their unexamined 'shadow' is incorrectly conflated with the universe, resulting in adversarial (instead of nurturing) relationships.
     Can we help decrease such wide-scale, needless suffering by facilitating introspection?

     Please savour: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/07/367-discovering-manifesting-our-innate.html

cjf2   www.dpreview.com

#612 Feeling Lousy? Now What?

     Feeling down, blue, out of sorts, alone, useless, etc happens so often for many of us that, at some level, we identify with it - it feels like home, "that's me - that's how I am, who I am". Other emotions, like love, joy & happiness seem to slip right through, so we correctly recognize their transient, ephemeral nature.
     Is it possible that identifying with downer emotions is what makes them so sticky? What if we didn't focus on these so intently when they appeared - would these evaporate as seamlessly as joy? Can we imagine the effect of having no preference for joy over sadness?

#606 Spacious Awareness

     For most of us, our default level of consciousness is one in which "I" and "mine" are the axis around which the universe turns. In other words, we're normally egocentric, self-absorbed, at times self-obsessed, and thus by necessity, we're stuck in an adversarial relationship with everyone and everything else. It's critical to clearly see this. Self-awareness is humbling, so we compulsively seek distraction - today's "opium of the people".

      “Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection - or compassionate action.”          Daniel Goleman "Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships"      www.goodreads.com

     Mindfulness practices help us see clearly and accept our far-from-perfect conditioned selves. The upside is that we also become aware of a qualitatively higher level of consciousness. At this level of awareness, we experience spaciousness, clarity, generosity, freedom, stillness, silence, loving-kindness, joy - the polar opposites of claustrophobically agonizing about "me & mine". Spacious awareness is always at hand - in fact we're it - whenever our "noisy ego" doesn't drown it out. While screaming, a baby cannot appreciate that his loving parents are right there trying to soothe it.
     As we progressively shift from being egocentric to allo- and ecocentric, appropriate self-care & self-compassion remain. We're AS important - not more, not less - as other human beings. Normal, healthy maturation is transcending an unhealthy, exaggerated degree of self-concern ie self-obsession, and opening our heart-minds to embrace & nurture all that we encounter, right here, right now.

Jonathan Shapiro   www.dpreview.com

#604 Mindfulness Solutions to Chronic Pain

     “All of us know on some level that pain is an inevitable part of the human condition, even if we sometimes shun that realization or pretend that we ourselves are immune to it. What is less well known is that there are many ways available to us to actually meet chronic or persistent pain and work with it, such that it does not inevitably have to lead to unending suffering and the complete erosion of a satisfying life. But when we are actually in the clutches of pain, whether it be primarily somatic or emotional (and it is invariably a mix of the two), and traditional medical approaches have not led to reliable relief, any way to go through the pain to an oasis of respite seems virtually inconceivable. In such moments, it is all too easy to fall into despair and depression.”                         Jon Kabat-Zinn PhD

       Gardner-Nix, J.  “The mindfulness solution to pain. Step-by-step techniques for chronic pain management.” New Harbinger Publications Inc, Oakland CA, 2009.
 

#602 Stillness & Momentum; Spaciousness & Anxiety

     We feel relatively secure when we feel in motion - literally or figuratively. The momentum of heading towards a goal  promises that we'll feel OK, especially when we get there! 
     On the other hand, stillness these days suggests the opposite. How does it feel being alone, with nothing to do, nowhere to go? Bored? Maybe, but below this very likely lurks anxiety. And what's the anxiety about? What is this "anxious quiver of being"?
     We're so deeply conditioned to chase after friends, position, security, mates, prestige, toys, money etc that we completely neglect to consider what's meaningful in our lives. Our momentum of chasing after stuff is so constant, we fail to realize that all this chasing after, is at the same time a desperate attempt to run away from - from what?

     Can we learn to deeply examine and engage the spacious stillness, silence, ... at the core of our being?

     Can we learn to hold our small "anxious quiver of being" within this expansive spacious intelligence?

snooked   www.dpreview.com