#740 Goals, Failures & Paradox

"Nothing to do,

Nowhere to go,

No one to be."

     What a perplexing koan, riddle - or - statement of fact? It sure sounds like a corrective for us goal-oriented workaholics, anxiously struggling with time-poverty, low self-esteem, etc. Below Jon Kabat-Zinn clearly expands on this theme:

     “The goal of mindfulness practice, if there can be said to be a goal at all (since the practice emphasizes non-duality and therefore non-striving) is simply to experience what is present from moment to moment. Thus, emotional reactivity, and the full range of emotional states available to human beings are as much a valid domain of meditative experience as experiences of calm or relaxation. 
     The cultivation of mindfulness is an arduous challenge, in which one learns to face and work with the full range of emotions and mind states. Frequently, relaxation in the way it is usually formulated, would be an entirely inappropriate response to human situations and problems. If it is offered as the ‘solution’ or the heart of a meditative approach to stress reduction, it will introduce inevitable conflict because of its emphasis on a desirable endstate to be achieved. If one one fails to experience or ‘achieve’ relaxation, then one has failed, and the practitioner has either to conclude that she herself is somehow inadequate, or that the technique is lacking. In either case, there has been a thwarting of one’s goals and expectations which can lead to a sense of inadequacy and an arrested trajectory of development. 

     In contrast, it is impossible to ‘fail’ at mindfulness if one is willing to bring whatever it is that one is experiencing into the field of awareness. One does not have to do anything at all, or achieve a particular state in mindfulness practice. We sometimes tell our patients, in the spirit of the paradoxical nature of the non-dualistic approach, that ‘we will teach you how to be so relaxed that it is OK to be tense.’ ”  
       Jon Kabat-Zinn. “Mindfulness Meditation. What It Is, What It Isn’t, and Its Role in Health Care and Medicine.” Chapter 12 in: Ishii Y, Suzuki M, Haruki Y, eds. “Comparative and Psychological Study on Meditation.” Eburon, 2007.

Courtesy of Buddha Doodles www.buddhadoodles.com

#731 What is there to hang onto?

     It's fascinating to think of a newborn baby having an oceanic relationship with the external world - no sense of separation.
     Gradually, she gains a sense of being a separate individual, though still very much identified with her caretakers. 
     Later she comes to identify with & tries hard to "fit in" with her peers. 
     As a young adult, she will differentiate somewhat from her cluster of friends. 
     But in all probability, she will remain more-or-less unconsciously identified with her tribe (sex/gender, religion, nationality, race, ethnicity, etc). She may even intentionally join some cult, which demands conformity to their group-think. See: http://www.johnlovas.com/2016/11/memberships-benefits-and-drawbacks.html

     Very, very few of us evolve past tribal consciousness. This requires a surprising amount of courage, as well as patient, intentional, disciplined practice of letting go of absolutely everything we assume our "self" to be - that's letting go of a lot. But ...

          If you let go a little, you will have a little peace.
          If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.
          And if you let go completely, you will have complete peace.                 Ajahn Chah

     Lots more on the ego: http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=ego

#726 Your Mind Transforms When Practicing Meditation

     1. Each time you focus on or return to the anchor, you are building your concentration
     2. Each time you focus on the anchor, you detach from your thought stream. This is a practice of letting go in the moment, which translates to letting go in the rest of the world.
     3. Each time you notice that the mind is wandering, that is the moment of mindfulness — not a moment of failure.
     4. Each time you are kind to yourself when your mind wanders, instead of criticizing yourself, you are exercising and strengthening your self-compassion for challenging moments in the rest of your daily life.
     5. Each time you notice where the mind is wandering, that is an opportunity for insight into your mind’s habits and patterns — what we might call wisdom or self-understanding.

       Christopher Willard. "Growing Up Mindful: Essential Practices to Help Children, Teens, and Families Find Balance, Calm, and Resilience." Sounds True, 2016.

Apple blossoms, Wolfville, NS

#724 Three Crucial Points About Mindfulness

     1. Mindfulness is not intended to be a blissful experience. Like exercise, it can be uncomfortable. In fact, mindfulness is about learning to recognise, allow and be with all of our experiences, whether pleasant, unpleasant or neutral, so that we can begin to exercise choices and responsiveness in our lives.

     2. Mindfulness practice is not a panacea. It’s not the only way to reduce stress or increase wellbeing, nor is it right for everyone. People should select an approach that matches their interests and needs, whether it be mindfulness, physical exercise, cognitive-behavioural therapy or some other approach.

     3. Mindfulness practice is intended to be invitational and empirical. Participants are invited to experiment with the practices in an open-minded and curious way and to be guided by the evidence of their own experience, continuing with practices that seem helpful and letting go of those that don’t.

       Ruth Baer & Willem Kuyken. "Is Mindfulness Safe?" reprinted in: http://www.mindful.org/is-mindfulness-safe/

#718 How Can We Best Let Go near Life's End?

     How can we let go of clinging to life, near the end of life?

     “Be happy in every moment. … You don’t need to change anything. Let everything happen just as it comes. Just flow with it. It’s the process; everything dissolves into you, so change with whatever happens.” 


      “What practice makes it easier to let go of this life?”

      “The best practice, is calm abiding. Remain with the breath. Develop calmness inside. Join awareness and the breath. Trusting these. Trusting the knowing. Trusting the calmness. Not pushing yourself to make any changes. And not paying attention to what others say about it.” 
            Khandro Rimpoche in: Olivia Ames Hoblitzelle. “Ten Thousand Joys & Ten Thousand Sorrows. A Couple’s Journey through Alzheimer’s.” Penguin, NY, 2008.



     “If you accept life and death without any conditions, your life will become supple instead of rigid. You will not create strife."
            Katagiri D. “You have to say something. Manifesting Zen insight.” Shambhala, Boston, 1998.  

 

#684 A Bird in the Hand Koan

     My daughter-in-law recounted a Tibetan teaching about having a wise relationship with transient moments of perceived happiness. 
     Consider a precious dove landing, briefly, on your open palm. And the moment the dove starts flying away ... can you truly love it, while letting it go?

     What if the dove's total freedom & happiness is not different than yours?

Agricola Street, Halifax, NS

#653 Awareness Leads to Spaciousness & Freedom

     “Change will happen naturally as we open to the truth. The more we bring our attachments into awareness, the freer we become, not because we eliminate the attachments, but because we learn to identify more with awareness than with desire. Using our capacity for consciousness, we can change perspective on ourselves, giving a sense of space where once there was only habit. Discipline means restraining the habitual movement of the mind, so that instead of blind impulse there can be clear comprehension. 
     In our quest to understand where our unsatisfactoriness derives from, we are often inclined to search for causes and people to blame. … the search for causes has to lead eventually back to the individual. Although traumatic and terrible things may have occurred, it is the individual’s mind that perpetuates the suffering, and that can be trained to change. As long as we are struggling against the feeling, hoping to eliminate it by getting high or being cured, we are still attached. We can relieve unsatisfactoriness only by sharpening our focus and changing our perspective.”

        Epstein M. "Going on Being. Buddhism and the way of Change. A Positive Psychology for the West." Broadway Books, NY, 2001. 

Rutger Bus   www.dpreview.com

#612 Feeling Lousy? Now What?

     Feeling down, blue, out of sorts, alone, useless, etc happens so often for many of us that, at some level, we identify with it - it feels like home, "that's me - that's how I am, who I am". Other emotions, like love, joy & happiness seem to slip right through, so we correctly recognize their transient, ephemeral nature.
     Is it possible that identifying with downer emotions is what makes them so sticky? What if we didn't focus on these so intently when they appeared - would these evaporate as seamlessly as joy? Can we imagine the effect of having no preference for joy over sadness?

#590 Mindfulness is NOT Suppression or Avoidance of Thoughts or Emotions

     Mindfulness practice first helps us become more comfortable with things as they are in the present moment ie helps cultivate a degree of mental stability. Then, with this stability - decreased ego-noise - we're able to have some insight into what's actually going on.
     So mindfulness is NOT about suppressing or otherwise avoiding thoughts, emotions, or any other aspect of life. We don't suppress thoughts. We do let go of habitually entertaining them, wrestling with them, being hijacked by them, identifying with them. The same goes for emotions. Thoughts and emotions remain, but become quieter & quieter background noise, no longer controlling & distorting our life.

     "Fully plumbing the depths of mindfulness requires time and exploration. There is a wealth of meaning and nuance in the experience of mindfulness that can enrich our lives in unimagined ways." 
       Goldstein J. "Mindfulness. A Practical Guide to Awakening." Sounds True, Boulder, 2013. 

Stephen Bright   www.dpreview.com

#541 Letting Go AND Gaining

     It's easy to become focused almost exclusively on letting go of unskillful habits & tendencies. Peeling away layers upon layers of the onion of our "self" is natural and healthy, but it can start to feel like subtle diminishment or loss. Mercifully, it's only one aspect of mindfulness practice.
     The counterbalancing image (to peeling away layers of an onion) is that of Russian nesting dolls - starting from tiny ones, then progressively enlarging, until the doll is the size of - becomes - the entire universe. This imagery refers to our expanding awareness & growing empathic interconnection ("interbeing").
     As our fear-based self-centeredness diminishes, we progressively open our heart-mind, ever more completely, to embrace all of reality. No loss, real gain.

Nurishing rain, Umbria, Italy

#423 What is This?

     There are at least 3 levels of reality: 1) the stories we tell ourselves about reality, from our default narrative focus of attention; 2) reality as we actually experience it directly, from our experiential focus of attention (mindfulness); and occasionally, 3) profound peace, silence, stillness that feels like home.
     Much of mindfulness practice is about noticing, accepting, then letting go of a wide variety of noises (self-talk, mental proliferation etc - mainly #1) that's interposed - like friction - between our awareness and #2 & 3.  
     Much of mindfulness practice is identifying & letting go of noise / friction, a process of simplification, of getting down to basics, the core of what we are, then living this mystery as cleanly & simply as possible. What is this?

Charles Baxter   www.dpreview.com

#422 The Direct Physical Feel of Things

     In mindfulness meditation practice we constantly bring attention to the PHYSICAL FEEL of various objects of attention: the breath in the belly (hara, dan tien or tanden), posture, muscle tone, sounds etc. At the same time, we let go of words, stories (self-talk), concepts etc. We emphasize direct experience of just this moment, then just this moment, then just this ... To stabilize just this, we notice when attention has drifted off, accept this as a fact, and seamlessly bring attention back to just this.
     Perception - the act of contacting sense objects -  becomes as clear & obvious as when physically touching a solid object. Awareness comes back home to our bodies, filling it like sand fills a bag of sand. We stand solidly on the earth, sit firmly on a chair or cushion. Perhaps this is what "groundedness" refers to.
     There is clarity, simplicity, a lightness of being to directness. We are progressively letting go of the many barriers (boundaries, avoidances, filters, defences etc) we previously erected between ourselves and life straight-up. These barriers were necessary, but are now hindrances that we intentionally release.

       Wilber K. No boundary. Eastern and Western approaches to personal growth. Shambhala, Boston, 1979.

#403 Mindfulness & Wisdom

      "Mindfulness fosters a present-centered, non-judgmental awareness in which thoughts, feelings, and sensations are paid attention to, experienced, and then let go. This dispassionate state of mind is thought to enable a reflective mental space between perception and response to sensation, which leads to increased thoughtful decision making, greater compassion and altruism, as well as increased insight. These outcomes are all reminiscent of ancient Greek, Indian, and Chinese definitions of wisdom."

       Williams PB. Practicing Wisdom by Mindfulness   http://wisdomresearch.org/forums/t/1242.aspx#

     See "Wellness through Wisdom": http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2012/10/wellness-through-wisdom.html

Practicing Wisdom by Mindfulness

By Patrick B. Williams

- See more at: http://wisdomresearch.org/forums/t/1242.aspx#sthash.86mACe4l.dpuf

Practicing Wisdom by Mindfulness

By Patrick B. Williams

- See more at: http://wisdomresearch.org/forums/t/1242.aspx#sthash.86mACe4l.d

Practicing Wisdom by Mindfulness

By Patrick B. Williams

- See more at: http://wisdomresearch.org/forums/t/1242.aspx#sthash.86mACe4l.dpuf

Practicing Wisdom by Mindfulness

By Patrick B. Williams

- See more at: http://wisdomresearch.org/forums/t/1242.aspx#sthash.86mACe4l.dpuf

Mindfulness fosters a present-centered, non-judgmental awareness in which thoughts, feelings, and sensations are paid attention to, experienced, and then let go (Kabat-Zinn, 1990, 1998; Teasdale, 2000; Segal, et al., 2002). This dispassionate state of mind is thought to enable a reflective mental space between perception and response to sensation, which leads to increased thoughtful decision making, greater compassion and altruism, as well as increased insight. These outcomes are all reminiscent of ancient Greek, Indian, and Chinese definitions of wisdom - See more at: http://wisdomresearch.org/forums/t/1242.aspx#sthash.86mACe4l.dpuf

Mindfulness fosters a present-centered, non-judgmental awareness in which thoughts, feelings, and sensations are paid attention to, experienced, and then let go (Kabat-Zinn, 1990, 1998; Teasdale, 2000; Segal, et al., 2002). This dispassionate state of mind is thought to enable a reflective mental space between perception and response to sensation, which leads to increased thoughtful decision making, greater compassion and altruism, as well as increased insight. These outcomes are all reminiscent of ancient Greek, Indian, and Chinese definitions of wisdom - See more at: http://wisdomresearch.org/forums/t/1242.aspx#sthash.86mACe4l.dpuf

Mindfulness fosters a present-centered, non-judgmental awareness in which thoughts, feelings, and sensations are paid attention to, experienced, and then let go (Kabat-Zinn, 1990, 1998; Teasdale, 2000; Segal, et al., 2002). This dispassionate state of mind is thought to enable a reflective mental space between perception and response to sensation, which leads to increased thoughtful decision making, greater compassion and altruism, as well as increased insight. These outcomes are all reminiscent of ancient Greek, Indian, and Chinese definitions of wisdom - See more at: http://wisdomresearch.org/forums/t/1242.aspx#sthash.86mACe4l.dpuf

Mindfulness fosters a present-centered, non-judgmental awareness in which thoughts, feelings, and sensations are paid attention to, experienced, and then let go (Kabat-Zinn, 1990, 1998; Teasdale, 2000; Segal, et al., 2002). This dispassionate state of mind is thought to enable a reflective mental space between perception and response to sensation, which leads to increased thoughtful decision making, greater compassion and altruism, as well as increased insight. These outcomes are all reminiscent of ancient Greek, Indian, and Chinese definitions of wisdom - See more at: http://wisdomresearch.org/forums/t/1242.aspx#sthash.86mACe4l.dpuf

Mindfulness fosters a present-centered, non-judgmental awareness in which thoughts, feelings, and sensations are paid attention to, experienced, and then let go (Kabat-Zinn, 1990, 1998; Teasdale, 2000; Segal, et al., 2002). This dispassionate state of mind is thought to enable a reflective mental space between perception and response to sensation, which leads to increased thoughtful decision making, greater compassion and altruism, as well as increased insight. These outcomes are all reminiscent of ancient Greek, Indian, and Chinese definitions of wisdom - See more at: http://wisdomresearch.org/forums/t/1242.aspx#sthash.86mACe4l.dpuf

Mindfulness fosters a present-centered, non-judgmental awareness in which thoughts, feelings, and sensations are paid attention to, experienced, and then let go (Kabat-Zinn, 1990, 1998; Teasdale, 2000; Segal, et al., 2002). This dispassionate state of mind is thought to enable a reflective mental space between perception and response to sensation, which leads to increased thoughtful decision making, greater compassion and altruism, as well as increased insight. These outcomes are all reminiscent of ancient Greek, Indian, and Chinese definitions of wisdom - See more at: http://wisdomresearch.org/forums/t/1242.aspx#sthash.86mACe4l.dpuf

#399 Letting Go of Soil - the Jar of Soil & Water Metaphor - Part 2

     Continuing with the jar of soil & water metaphor of #398, sitting meditation practice shows us that we're so used to thinking about something that we actually feel one with or identified with thoughts ("cognitive fusion"). It's as if the clear water didn't exist, only the soil. Thoughts ("objects of mind" - bits of soil) seem sticky, some much more so than others eg the memory of someone insulting us; or catastrophizing about an upcoming interview or medical appointment. Our entire world can become this one story (single particle of soil) for days, weeks or even longer, while our day-to-day affairs are managed "on autopilot."
      Another discovery we make in meditation is that our thinking is mostly about the past ("the good - or bad - old days") or future (wishing or anxiety). This is despite the practical fact that the present requires our full attention. ALSO experience and now science shows that stable awareness of what's going on in the present moment feels  good - much better than being off in the past or future. Our quality of life is at its highest when we are whole-heartedly engaged in the present for prolonged periods of time eg being with a beloved person or pet, "wrapped-up" in a great movie, doing our hobby, participating in an exciting (even extreme) sport, etc.
     The soil particles are in motion - either being stirred up or settling down, while water is at rest. When we're present, mindful, we have the perspective of clear still water & observe the particles (thoughts) floating by without attaching to (identifying with) them. Training allows this to happen with increasing ease, consistency and stability. Sticking to particles going by is a habit. Noticing & repeatedly letting go of this old mental habit ("cognitive defusion"), replaces it with a new mental habit - mindfulness. This is the predictable, scientifically-proven effect of mental training that rewires the brain, creating new connections and new brain cells (neuroplasticity). 
     Gradually we come to feel at home in clarity (clear water), without habitually clinging to the (mud particles of the) past or future, resting joyfully in the constantly changing fascinating challenging present moment. 
     See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/12/249-busy-scattered-distracted-monkey.html

Kentville, Nova Scotia

#367 Discovering & Manifesting our Innate Goodness & Wisdom

     “We do not have to improve ourselves; we just have to let go of what blocks our heart. When our heart is free from the contractions of fear, anger, grasping, & confusion, the spiritual qualities we have tried to cultivate manifest in us naturally. They are our true nature, and they spontaneously shine in our consciousness whenever we let go of the rigid structures of our identity.”               Jack Kornfield

     "Spirituality" (like "faith" & "religion") have a checkered history. Currently, in healthcare, attempts are being made to engage the valuable (while avoiding the divisive) aspects of these universally potent paradigms.
     See: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2012/10/critical-spirituality-is-way-of-naming.html
     and: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2013/02/spirituality-in-health-care_28.html
       and: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2012/03/faith.html 

Frenchfx   www.dpreview.com

#248 Process Transforms Doing into Being - It's the Singer, not the Song ...

     It's very interesting listening to someone giving their perspective of events in which you were both involved, particularly when they deliver it as an absolute statement of fact, instead of their unique impression. We tend to cling to certainty and tend to be averse to uncertainty & ambiguity. Yet nothing is solid & unchanging, not even our memories of the past - even that changes constantly.
     Perhaps fear of aging partially explains why people tend to be intolerant of ambiguity, and pretend to be certain about uncertain things. Ambiguity tolerance should, unless we fight it, arise naturally as we age. It takes a great deal of patience, tolerance & endurance to put up with life's litany of embarrassments. One has to learn to enjoy the process of working with imperfection, including one's own. Quickly & ethically obtaining a great result is a very unlikely prospect. Focusing on the process however is entirely different.
     People slowly, mindfully working on a meaningful product or service are themselves transformed by the process itself. We each individually reduce suffering and create joy by the actual quality we bring to life, moment-by-moment. WE INDIVIDUALLY provide what we all need. Nobody else can do it. WE ARE RESPONSIBLE. WE can and must rise to the occasion.

See also: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2012/12/everyones-doing-their-best-under.html

#231 Practice, Distractions, Letting go, Accumulating

     It's somewhat surprising that even among those who complete and seem to benefit from an 8-week MBSR course, the question arises: is there a follow-up course containing 'new' information? The implication being that now they 'get it' and unless there's something new and different to stimulate (distract) the mind, they'd be bored.
     One of the reasons that we sit still, silently, for up to 50 minutes at a time is precisely to let go of distractions - habitual busyness, so we can clearly study the mind.
     Fortunately, people do take the 'same' MBSR course several times sequentially, and progressively deepen their practice and understanding each time. In fact MBSR facilitators could never teach the exact same course twice because the depth of our understanding is also progressively increasing with daily practice.
     In reality, we're only able to hear or appreciate what we're ready for. As we mature psycho-spiritually, we actually appreciate things as if we heard them for the very first time. So 'beginner's mind' is really a way of avoiding 'premature closure' - the common tendency to catch the drift of a theme and immediately 'shut down', because one (mistakenly) assumes one already 'knows all about it'.
     We can spend all of our waking hours these days reading the flood of scientific and other papers and books on mindfulness should we wish to simply accumulate knowledge. No matter how much we read about mindfulness - but don't practice it - we know NOTHING about it. More importantly, such scholars derive NO benefit in terms of decreasing their own suffering, or improving their quality of life.
     Those who teach mindfulness MUST have a deep ongoing personal practice, guided by wise teachers, if they are to truly help themselves & others. "See one, do one, teach one" is just plain wrong when it comes to being a guide to an immensely deep, broad, way of life.

     Practice refers to the discipline of cultivating a crucial capacity of mind, such as wisdom or concentration. Practices are rehearsals of desired qualities, which eventually become spontaneous, natural ways of being.” 
       Walsh R. “Essential spirituality. The 7 central practices to awaken heart and mind.” John Wiley & Sons Inc, NY, 1999.

Photo: giants   www.dpreview.com

#168 Effort in Moderation - Right Effort

     "Following your breath is not effortful. When you find yourself making an effort, you are adding to something that is already complete. Try giving your focused, alert awareness 50 percent less effort. The effort is brought simply to the intention and action of becoming still, so that the silt may begin naturally to settle in the stillness of the mind, like water becoming clear. Coming home is letting go, allowing resistance to drop away as it softens in the mind of breathing. Is it effortful to let go? Letting go is already dropping effort." 

        Murphy S. Upside-down zen. Finding the marvelous in the ordinary. Wisdom Publications, Boston, 2006.    - a truly wonderful book - highly recommended


     “Remember, this is not a mental struggle – it is not about thinking differently; rather it comes from getting out of our heads and into our bodies – that is, into the physical experience of the present moment.”                  Ezra Bayda

Photo: Alessandra Meniconzi    www.smithsonianmag.com

#114 Qualities or Attitudes of Mindfulness

     Jon Kabat-Zinn highlighted 7 mindfulness qualities - how one attends to information during mindfulness. 
     Shauna Shapiro et al added 5 affective qualities, yielding a total of 12:

nonjudging, http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/04/115-nonjudging-quality-1.html

nonstriving, http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/04/116-nonstriving-quality-2.html

acceptance, http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/04/117-acceptance-quality-3.html

patience, http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/04/118-patience-quality-4.html

trust, http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/04/119-trust-quality-5.html

openness, http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/04/120-openness-quality-6.html

letting go, http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/04/121-letting-go-quality-7.html

gentleness, http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/05/122-gentleness-quality-8.html

generosity, http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/05/123-generosity-quality-9.html

empathy, http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/05/124-empathy-quality-10.html

gratitude, http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/05/125-gratitude-quality-11.html
and 

loving kindness. http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/05/126-loving-kindness-quality-12.html

       Cardaciotto L. Assessing Mindfulness: The Development of a Bi-Dimensional Measure of Awareness and Acceptance. PhD Thesis, Drexel University, 2005.

dspace.library.drexel.edu/retrieve/4264/Cardaciotto_LeeAnn.pdf

  

     These overlapping, interdependent, characteristic qualities or attitudes are cultivated by, & naturally arise from, mindfulness practice - much like physical strength, aerobic fitness, perseverance, etc arise for athletes from their training regimen.