#711 Who Am I Really?

     “Today, we tend to live within an ethos of authenticity. We tend to believe that the ‘true self’ is whatever is most natural and untutored. That is, each of us has a certain sincere way of being in the world, and we should live our life being truthful to that authentic inner self, not succumbing to the pressures outside of ourself. To live artificially, with a gap between your inner nature and your outer conduct, is to be deceptive, cunning, and false.”
       David Brooks "The Road to Character." Random House, NY, 2015. 

     The refrain "I've got to be me", and Paul Anka's song (made famous by Frank Sinatra) "I did it my way" is very much like Brooks' statement above. The question arises: is our true nature simply equivalent to our egoic tendencies?

     A fascinating statement from a senior Zen teacher: 
          "You're perfect as you are.
           Try harder!"

#695 Accepting Ourselves, Accepting Others, and Then ...

     We keep trying so desperately to be accepted, valued and loved. We're acutely aware, at some level, of our many imperfections. And we fear our very survival hinges on eliminating, hiding, or overcompensating for our "defectiveness".
     After a while, we start realizing that nobody is perfect; and that unconditional love is painfully rare. Imperfection is tolerable, but life without unconditional love is brutal. What can we do about it? We know that we can't make others do anything. 
     But we can learn to accept ourselves as we are, then it's relatively easy to accept others as they are, and then, perhaps, we ourselves can become the source of unconditional love - the absolutely most precious, nurturing aspect of life. Perfection within imperfection?

     “When you came into this world, you cried and everyone else smiled. You should so live your life that when you leave, everyone else will cry, but you will be smiling.”                         Paramahansa Yogananda
        Dana Sawyer “Huston Smith: Wisdomkeeper. Living the World’s Religions. The Authorized Biography of a 21st Century Spiritual Giant.” Fons Vitae, Louisville, KY, 2014.

Public Gardens, Halifax, NS

#538 Centrality of Love

     Here's a question (koan) to ponder: 
          "No matter what problem confronts me, what role does love play?" More specifically, UNCONDITIONAL love? Love:
          • without limitations
          • without conditions
          • without bounds
          • unchanging
          • completely committed

     Isn't unconditional love something we all seek to receive AND provide?
     What happens when we pretend that it's irrelevant?

     See: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2012/12/everyones-doing-their-best-under.html
     and: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/search?q=unconditional

     

#424 Strive for the "Sure Thing" - OR - Trust Open-Hearted Engagement?

     It makes sense to put more care, time & effort into a project, so it will turn out closer to what we hope for. Of course it's easy to go overboard, only to (re)discover that no matter how hard we try, we can't perfectly control things. "The hurrier I goes, the behinder I gets!"
     Interestingly, mindfulness advises focusing on the process itself, rather than the goal. In fact, (excessively) focusing on the goal is considered a major impediment to reaching it. Excessive goal-orientation is "driven" by greed, fear, anxiety or some combination of these unhealthy emotions, which virtually block one's ability to pay attention to the journey - the actual path to the goal.
     We optimally attend to what we're doing when we're fully engaged - our mind-heart-body is open to the actual process eg taking care of a little child or pet. Our focus of attention is almost exclusively experiential, with minimal narrative focus. There seems to be a direct connection of some sort between the silent depths of ourselves and that of the person, animal or activity. There's a sense of love, kindness or perhaps a primal recognition. It feels very still, peaceful, timeless and right - radically different from greed, fear or anxiety. 
     One may even say that open-hearted engagement is the antidote for greed, fear & anxiety. We know both ends of this spectrum, but perhaps have more experience with the latter. Can we trust the former to guide our lives? Our moment-by-moment way of being holds the answer. Can we observe what guides (or drives) our behavior & the quality of life that naturally arises?

Bob Kaune   www.dpreview.com

#392 BOTH Anxious, Confused, Reactive - AND - Calm, Clear-minded, Wise

     We gradually let go of rigid black-or-white dualistic thinking as we become aware of infinite shades between extremes. As we broaden our intellectual & emotional horizons (gain psychological flexibility), we increasingly appreciate our own & others' weaknesses AND strengths.
     Seeing another's weakness opens our hearts to fellow human beings who, like all of us, are carrying heavy burdens.
     Seeing another's strength inspires us, knowing that we ourselves also have at least some of that very same capacity.

     Wisdom involves clearly seeing & compassionately accepting imperfection, while at the same time, resting in awareness & nurturing inherent wholeness. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/09/393-awareness-acceptance-dwelling-in.html

     "Therapeutic presence is the atmosphere for attending to the person's pain and vulnerability, while engaging their inner resiliency and wholeness."
       Palmer PJ, Zajonc A. The heart of higher education: A call to renewal. Transforming the academy through collegial conversation. Jossey-Bass, San Francisco, 2010.

  Muck AND Beauty

#367 Discovering & Manifesting our Innate Goodness & Wisdom

     “We do not have to improve ourselves; we just have to let go of what blocks our heart. When our heart is free from the contractions of fear, anger, grasping, & confusion, the spiritual qualities we have tried to cultivate manifest in us naturally. They are our true nature, and they spontaneously shine in our consciousness whenever we let go of the rigid structures of our identity.”               Jack Kornfield

     "Spirituality" (like "faith" & "religion") have a checkered history. Currently, in healthcare, attempts are being made to engage the valuable (while avoiding the divisive) aspects of these universally potent paradigms.
     See: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2012/10/critical-spirituality-is-way-of-naming.html
     and: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2013/02/spirituality-in-health-care_28.html
       and: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2012/03/faith.html 

Frenchfx   www.dpreview.com