Our usual way of thinking & speaking is dualistic, constantly comparing opposites: good / bad, beautiful / ugly, desirable / repulsive, etc. How does this habit make us feel? Incessant up & down mood swings, moment by moment! To try to minimize the trauma, we do our best to grab & hold onto the good / beautiful / desirable, and avoid & push away the bad / ugly / repulsive. It's an exhausting, unwinnable battle, resulting only in constant tightness and misery.
Wordlessly opening up to and accepting what is natural, with curiosity, and even an attitude of loving embrace, brings about an ease, a spaciousness of heart and mind. And yes, if we "pick our battles", we even gain a greater facility to do something about things that can and should be changed.
This does require letting go of puffing up our ego with incessant mind-numbing self-talk: "I like this", "I hate that", etc etc etc etc. We need to examine very carefully what such a simplistic, unexamined identity does to our quality of life. Once we see its affects clearly, we'll want to minimize it's corrosive effects as quickly as possible.
We gradually let go of rigid black-or-white dualistic thinking as we become aware of infinite shades between extremes. As we broaden our intellectual & emotional horizons (gain psychological flexibility), we increasingly appreciate our own & others' weaknesses AND strengths.
Seeing another's weakness opens our hearts to fellow human beings who, like all of us, are carrying heavy burdens.
Seeing another's strength inspires us, knowing that we ourselves also have at least some of that very same capacity.
Wisdom involves clearly seeing & compassionately accepting imperfection, while at the same time, resting in awareness & nurturing inherent wholeness. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/09/393-awareness-acceptance-dwelling-in.html
"Therapeutic presence is the atmosphere for attending to the person's pain and vulnerability, while engaging their inner resiliency and wholeness."
Palmer PJ, Zajonc A. The heart of higher education: A call to renewal.
Transforming the academy through collegial conversation. Jossey-Bass,
San Francisco, 2010.
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| Muck AND Beauty |
