#778 Dealing with Fear

    Some will find this topic irrelevant because they rarely if ever remember having experienced fear. 
    But when a child is filled with anxiety while his parents are away from home, that anxiety may not be recognized as fear of abandonment. 
    When an adult is enraged about losing his job, that anger may not be recognized as fear about not being able to provide for his family.
    When another adult is saddened by the loss of her job, that sadness may not be recognized as fear about not being able to provide for her family.
    When a person "doesn't suffer fools gladly," his intolerance may not be recognized as fear that he can't control people around him. 
    When some people come across as being aggressive in a dental or medical office, their aggressiveness may not be recognized as overcompensation for fear of dental / medical procedures.
    When abattoir workers crack tasteless jokes about killing animals, their boisterousness may not be recognized as fear of their job's corrosive effect on them, and deeper still, fear of their own mortality.
    When a person only foresees negative outcomes from any new suggestions, his chronic negativity ("only being realistic") may not be recognized as fear that the very universe might be unfriendly.

    Most, if not all of our difficult emotions when deeply examined, will be found to be based on fear. And we fear being afraid, just like we're anxious about being anxious, and are depressed about our depression. We do not like our own (or anyone else's) difficult emotions, so we try everything to avoid them, but cannot escape. 

    Can we be wiser than compounding difficult emotions by trying & failing to suppress them?

    Wise advice from: Amoda Maa “Falling Open in a World Falling Apart. The Essential Teaching of Amoda Maa.” 2020. 

"How should I deal with fear when it shows up?

The invitation is to become sensitive, to become highly attuned to where this subtle grip takes over, to notice when there is a subtle tightening – either holding on for dear life or pushing life away. In that moment of noticing, you have a choice. It doesn’t matter when you notice, as long as there is a moment of noticing. In this moment, you have choice. It’s a choice that doesn’t come from the mind. It’s a choice that comes from the tenderness of the heart. It’s a turning away from the circumstances of life, and a turning toward your innermost.

            Your innermost is the tenderness of the heart, and here the doorway of surrender opens. It’s the surrender of ego-mind’s grip on reality … and you don’t have to do anything. You cannot do the surrender. The tenderness of the heart doesn’t attempt to do anything with its experience … it simply is with the experience. It is intimate with the experience, it is close to the experience, and in the intimacy and that closeness, you come closer to yourself. You come closer to your true self, your true self as openness. Your essential nature, in the innermost, is openness.

            Everything else – every maneuver that doesn’t bring you closer to your experience, that doesn’t bring you closer to tenderness – is a cover-up. That cover-up is what makes life burdensome, that cover-up is what makes life a struggle, that cover-up is what makes you fearful. So, how to deal with fear? By noticing the places and the moments in your life when you do not turn toward tenderness. Don’t look for freedom from fear in transcendence, don’t look for freedom from fear in some myth of spirituality. Don’t run away from fear. Turn toward fear and meet it with tenderness.

            Life is your spiritual teacher, the only true teacher there is. Become sensitive to the places and moments where you don’t turn toward tenderness in your relationships – in your relationship to your spouse or to your children or to your dog, in your relationship to your work or your creativity or to your sense of mission, in your relationship to your bank account and to your taxes. Become sensitive to the places and moments you don’t turn toward tenderness in your relationship to your body – the aches and pains, the loss of eyesight or motion, the sickness and the wellness.

            Every relationship is your teacher. In every relationship, you either operate as the tight fist of resistance and it’s a struggle, a burden, a nightmare … or you turn toward the tenderness of the heart, become intimate with your experience, and simply love it.

            This – right here – is where the Beloved lives. This is the invitation of openness, the invitation of surrender, the invitation of tenderness – it is right here. Look to your life for the doorway to freedom.

 

‘Are you saying that I should meet all uncomfortable feelings with tenderness?’

 

             Yes. Everything yearns to come home to your heart. Every energy that exists – everything that appears as your experience – yearns to return to source, to the formless. And your heart is a doorway to the formless.

            The unwanted energies, the unwelcome feelings – whether abandonment or rejection or betrayal or grief or failure or vulnerability or fear – are here not to torment you, even though it may appear that way. They are here to invite you to welcome everything.”

 

    above quoted from: Amoda Maa “Falling Open in a World Falling Apart. The Essential Teaching of Amoda Maa.” 2020. WISE, POWERFUL, VALUABLE GUIDE - highly recommended

 

Peter Levine PhD

 

#777 Independence from Circumstances

     Pretty much everyone just wants to be happy. But our external environment is obviously filled with unpredictable ups & downs, most of which is beyond our control. So, real happiness must be independent of external circumstances. In other words, equanimity has to be built-into real happiness.
    ONLY the wise - particularly mystics, past & present - have learned how to engage with life in a much deeper & broader, all-encompassing way that is NOT affected by constant change, sickness, aging & death.

    Respected non-duality teacher & living mystic, Amoda Maa from her recent interview:  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9kqEgqnDOQ&list=PLBj0GiAEeavmA-j269z2dIDY1gzy64wq3

    “Psychological suffering, not physical suffering – there’s a little difference – but the psychological suffering that comes from the narratives of ‘this shouldn’t be happening,’ the identity of ‘poor me, I’m a victim,’ and so on, which has a deeper root, which is the sense of being a separate self – ‘I’m here and life is there, and I have to manage life, I have to control life, I have to defend against this, or I have to protect myself, I have to get to the destination that I want to get to in terms of life destination,’ and so on. This creates the treadmill of psychological suffering.

    There is also the suffering that comes from loss of some kind, heartbreak, some kind of tragedy or unexpected event. Of course, that’s also suffering.

    Whatever the outer shape or form of that suffering, it’s a doorway. It’s a doorway. For many it’s a punishment. ‘Something’s gone wrong’; ‘I’m wrong’; ‘I’m not worthy enough’ – which simply reinforces that separate self and reinforces the suffering. But it’s a doorway. It’s an invitation. It’s an invitation to soften in the face of suffering, to see what is more true than ‘poor me.’

    Let’s stay with the softening, because that’s really the primary doorway as such. Instead of defending & battling & arguing with what is – which is where psychological suffering comes from – the invitation is one of surrender. I could talk about surrender forever, because that’s the core of my teaching as such, my work, and also my life, my own journey. But I’m just going to say here that surrender is not a surrender to the circumstance, or to anyone. It’s not a surrender to, it’s a surrender of, a surrender of the internal mechanism of arguing with what is, which is where the softening is.

    There’s a story told about Neem Karoli Baba, of a woman who would go to him. Her son had died. And of course, that’s a tragedy and a loss and very painful. But she would go to him over and over again, and pray and beg, ‘Neem Karoli Baba, please take may pain away. This shouldn’t have happened. Poor me. This is, you know, and so on, and so on.’ And this would be repeated daily. And finally, he said to her, ‘I love suffering. It brings me closer to God.’

    So I think that’s my response to your question about how can suffering be eased? Of course, pain is pain, heartbreak is heartbreak, and that we cannot erase. But the heart can break open wider than the poor me. The heart is essentially unbroken in its true nature.

    We experience the broken on the surface, if you like, of the heart – and I don’t mean surface in a superficial way, but on the periphery of the heart, the human being will experience loss and personal pain, and whether a son’s died or a mother or whatever it is. But essentially, in the deeper parts of our beingness, nothing is broken. And so, that brings us closer to God. That brings us closer to beingness, the fundamental underlying eternal presence, whether we experience pain or not, whether we experience loss or not. And so, suffering is always a doorway on that level.

    And there’s also the incessant suffering, the psychological suffering of ‘I’m not good enough, I’m not worthy enough,’ which is pretty much endemic in the human condition – very much so in the Western condition, anyway. ‘I need to be more recognized. I need to be more loved. I need to be more successful. I need to be more this.’ Not always is this very conscious, but it’s an underlying driver for much of human behavior. And when something ripens in us, and we start to see how that creates this underlying current of suffering in us, then that can be a doorway in itself – a doorway to liberation.”

 

    Interviewer: “This sage mentioned he loves suffering. What kind of love is that?”

    AM (Amoda Maa): “I certainly don’t think it’s the kind of love which says I’m going to bring it on – bring me more suffering, or I’m going to beat myself up. It’s not on that level, for sure. I would say it’s a deep acceptance; a deep openness; a deep welcoming of everything; a welcoming of what life offers. And in that welcoming, something starts to soften within; something starts to relax within. And the deeper ground of being can reveal itself, even in the midst of loss & pain.

    It doesn’t necessarily erase the loss & pain. But it certainly ends the resistance to what is. And resistance to what is creates a lot of suffering; creates a lot of tension & agitation. So, even in the midst of pain or loss, there can be the end of an inner tension, an inner knot, or an inner agitation. And that starts to reveal love.”

    Amoda Maa (53-minute imho VALUABLE interview) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9kqEgqnDOQ&list=PLBj0GiAEeavmA-j269z2dIDY1gzy64wq3

 

    Quickly reading or listening to something might give you a few ideas, but these quickly join thousands of other briefly interesting bits of information from the past, all forgotten now. 

    But when we're ready to deeply listen to something, and go deeper by learning more details, then intentionally adapting these concepts to our daily life, THEN we actually start experiencing beneficial changes.

    To perhaps get experiential glimpses about what Amoda Maa was pointing to, consider doing this 33-minute guided meditation with another fine non-duality teacher:

 

    Collette Barnes Whiteman 

“Beyond I Am - Guided Exploration Diving Beyond Words & Form"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFwDNAwQ8w8 

#776 Finding Peace Beyond the Mind

    Most of us spend a lifetime "looking for love in all the wrong places" - and it IS love that we want more than anything, specifically unconditional love, and even more specifically the unconditional love that we ourselves all are the source of. BUT we mistakenly "externalize" - looking outside for what is actually within, forgetting our own true nature.
    What we truly are is always right here, but we're much too busy running around searching for something louder, shinier, elsewhere.

     Below is pivotal information for everyone of us, beautifully & intelligently written. The author, Robert Rugg very generously gave me permission to quote the entire chapter 12 of his wonderfully valuable 2024 book, “Awakening to Effortless Being”:

 

Finding Peace Beyond the Mind 

    “ONE OF THE MOST PROFOUND realizations you might stumble upon on this journey is that true peace doesn’t come from the mind – it comes from something deeper, something that exists beyond thought.

    For most of your life, you may have looked to the mind for answers, convinced that if you could just solve your problems or find the right perspective, peace would finally settle in.

    But no matter how much you try to organize or control your thoughts, that sense of peace remains oddly elusive, like a cat that refuses to be picked up.

    It’s only when you start looking beyond the mind that you discover a peace that’s steady, completely unaffected by the mind’s usual acrobatics. The mind is an amazing tool – it helps you navigate the world, solve problems, and even remember where you put your keys (sometimes).

    But it also loves to get caught up in stories, worries, and judgments. When you’re fully identified with the mind, you’re at the mercy of its constant fluctuations, bouncing from moments of excitement to frustration, from worry to fleeting happiness.

    Beneath this mental rollercoaster, though, there’s a stillness, an awareness that simply observes without reacting. This awareness is where true peace resides, untouched by the mind’s ups and downs.

    One day, as you sit quietly, observing your thoughts, without trying to change or wrestle them into submission, you might notice something interesting: there’s a space between each thought, a brief moment of silence.

    In that silence, you’ll sense a profound presence – a peace that doesn’t care whether your thoughts are positive, negative, or somewhere in between. This peace has always been there, patiently waiting behind the scenes. The more you rest in this awareness, the more you understand that peace isn’t something you achieve – it’s something you uncover.

Exploring Peace Beyond the Mind

    Finding peace beyond the mind doesn’t mean you need to suppress or avoid thoughts (good luck with that!). It’s about realizing that you are not your thoughts. You are the awareness in which thoughts arise and dissolve.

    This awareness is naturally peaceful because it remains untouched by any particular thought, emotion, or experience. When you connect with this deeper awareness, the mind’s activity becomes like background noise – a little like elevator music. It’s still there, but it no longer has the power to disrupt your inner peace.

    In this chapter, I invite you to explore this peace within yourself. Find a quiet spot to sit and allow your thoughts to come and go without jumping into them. Notice the space between each thought, the silence that lingers even when the mind is chattering away.

    This silence isn’t empty; it’s alive with a presence, a subtle sense of ‘I am’ that doesn’t need to cling to any particular thought or identity. Let yourself rest in this space, even if it’s only for a few moments.

Bringing Peace into Daily Life

    As you continue this practice, you might find that peace becomes more accessible in daily life. You start to notice that the mind can be busy without disturbing the peace within. This is a profound shift – realizing that peace doesn’t depend on the mind’s activity but on your connection to the awareness that lies beyond it.

    Living from this place of inner peace doesn’t mean that challenges or difficult emotions will stop showing up (life still loves a bit of drama). But the difference is that you no longer feel defined by them.

    You can experience emotions fully without losing yourself in them, knowing that beneath every experience is a steady presence, a peaceful awareness that remains untouched and ever-present.

The Freedom of True Peace

    This is the peace beyond the mind – a peace that’s always here, quietly waiting for you to notice it. When you connect with this peace, you discover a freedom that goes deeper than any temporary happiness or satisfaction the mind can offer.

    It’s the freedom of knowing that no matter what happens in life, you are always grounded in a peace that cannot be shaken. 

Reflection Prompts

    1. What happens when you sit quietly and observe the space between your thoughts? Can you sense the stillness beneath the mental noise?

    2. How does it feel to know that peace is something you uncover rather than something you ‘achieve’?

    3. In moments of stress or overthinking, can you reconnect with the awareness beneath the mind’s activity? What shifts when you rest in that awareness?

    This chapter invites you to take a step back, relax, and connect with the peace that’s always been there. As you do, you might find that life’s ups and downs lose some of their intensity, leaving you with a quiet confidence that peace is never far away – it’s right here, waiting for you to let go and simply be.”

    Robert Rugg “Awakening to Effortless Being” 2024 - I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this EXCEPTIONALLY CLEAR, WELL-WRITTEN, VALUABLE book ($14. from amazon.ca) 

 Thank you Rob!

chairs "hiding" in broad daylight

 

#775 Consider THIS

    Can you imagine living without fear or desire? Do you think it's possible for you to discover lasting peace & contentment despite little if any change in your external circumstances?

    In his book, “Awakening to Effortless Being” Robert Rugg skillfully describes everyone's capacity to discover their true nature - what they really are - and thereby enjoying a profoundly better quality of life.

    "AH, FEAR AND DESIRE – THOSE two drama queens that crash every party, whispering that you can’t possibly be okay without their sage advice. Fear and desire are like those friends who always have ‘urgent’ life updates and make you feel like if you don’t listen, your life will immediately go up in flames. Fear says, ‘Better avoid that,’ while desire pipes up with, ‘You need this!’ Together, they keep us running, chasing shiny things or dodging anything that looks mildly uncomfortable. 
     But here’s the twist: both of these emotional divas are fueled by one very persistent myth – the idea that you’re some separate, little ‘self,’ floating around out here alone, lacking something, vulnerable to every curveball life might throw. 
     For years, you might’ve been in hot pursuit of desires and ducking under fears, thinking, ‘If I could just get that job, avoid that awkward family dinner, or become that person, then I’d be happy.’ 
     Spoiler alert: even when you score the goal, satisfaction makes a brief cameo and disappears just as quickly. And don’t even get me started on fear! How many hours have we spent side-stepping discomfort, only to find that most of our fears are about as menacing as a wet paper towel? 
    One day, it hit me – fear and desire are just two sides of the same coin, both spinning around that tiny little ‘me’ story. They only have the power you give them by buying into that story of a limited self. The real ‘me’ (or the real ‘you,’ in this case) is something infinite and relaxed, a quiet awareness within that isn’t moved by every craving or worry. This deeper awareness doesn’t need anything, doesn’t fear anything, and is honestly way more chill than the usual ‘me’ that fear and desire love to boss around.”
    Robert Rugg “Awakening to Effortless Being” 2024 I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this EXCEPTIONALLY CLEAR, WELL-WRITTEN, VALUABLE book ($14. from amazon.ca).  
    By the way, my websites have never been "monetized" - so I do not profit regardless how many books I recommend are purchased.

    Right now, just for an hour let's say, fully engage with & remain in this possibility. If it feels better than how you usually feel, try it for a day, and if that feels better, try it for a week, etc. Use intuition, feel, remember your way into this possibility. You may well come to experience greater peace and even uncaused joy, from this "Perennial Wisdom" perspective shared by all the mystics, saints & sages, past & present.

Kevin - a gentle, furry manifestation of Unconditional Love