Showing posts with label self-talk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-talk. Show all posts

Tuesday, 23 January 2018

#749 From Noisy Ego to Silent, Direct Experience via Mindfulness

     "But words get in the way" is one of the wisest phrases I've heard in a song. Though we habitually identify with word-based thinking or "self-talk", this constant monologue running in our heads is NOT an accurate reflection of who we are, AND only useful in certain restricted, specific situations. Fortunately, with the help of mindfulness practice, discursive thinking becomes very quiet, unobtrusive, background noise - allowing "unmediated," direct connection with life.

     Below is Steven Pashko's excellent paper: "Reality: The Origin of the Therapeutic Efficacy of Mindfulness-Based Everything" from LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/reality-origin-therapeutic-efficacy-mindfulness-based-pashko-ph-d-/


     “Living categorically” might well be one of the most pervasive and under diagnosed psychological disorders in existence. Like all psychoses, this disorder is assigned to those who have “lost contact with reality”. It’s when people mistake a category for something unique and then act as if their view is true. For example, the categorical term “orange” replaces the luscious, mouth-watering aspects of smelling a citrus scent, tasting a tangy sweetness, the puckering of one’s cheeks, etc. Loss of lived experience—missing out on the fullness of living—is the most common, tragic result. On an intermediate level of harm, a unique individual will get lumped into categories of gender, age, intelligence, wealth, etc. It prevents a balanced evaluation of his or her unique abilities, personality, skills, motivations, etc. At its harmful extreme, it may even produce Josef Stalin’s view of murder in which he stated, “The death of one man is a tragedy. The death of millions is a statistic.”
     To understand the degree to which someone (not you, of course) might suffer from this delusion, please answer “True” or “False” to each of the following questions.
1.    Races of humans exist.
2.    The picture (to the right) is a pipe.
3.    The word “cup” defines a specific object.
4.    You can say what pain feels like.

     Answer key: The more questions that are answered “True” the worse the affliction.
     For those who answered “True” to any of these questions, there is hope. The treatment is called mindfulness. At the beginning, you might not like it, believing it too difficult, too boring, or that it will make you stupid. But, it’s the tried and true cure for this affliction. The treatment regimen is simple. Mindfulness is just staying attentive to your direct experience, the seeing, smelling, tasting, etc. of what comes to you through your senses (sensory-perceptual experience) at all times. Alternatively, you can just stop entertaining any ruminative thoughts—those that reoccur time and again. Most allow it to keep going mistakenly believing it’s a helpful way to handle problems. Only after a bit of mindfulness practice do people see they were wrong.
     Mindfulness reintroduces us to immediate experience, which is nonconceptual—without concepts and thoughts. It’s how we know the world before we think about it. As for practicing mindfulness, most people initially hate the part about not entertaining any ruminative thought. However, repeating the same thought, causes anxiety, distracts from attentiveness, doesn’t add to your understanding, and likely blocks creative thoughts from breaking through into consciousness. Should a continuing business tax problem be solved using the same technique used last time? Might a fresh, creative approach be useful? Can you have a good, informative conversation with someone when your attention is diverted to the running commentary in your head?
     Mindfulness cures the psychosis of “living categorically” because, in Gunaratana’s view, “Words are devised by the symbolic levels of the mind, and they describe those realities with which symbolic thinking deals. Mindfulness is pre-symbolic. It is not shackled to symbols.” He goes on, “The fact that this process lies above and beyond words does not make it unreal—quite the reverse. Mindfulness is the reality that gives rise to words—the words that follow are simply pale shadows of reality.” (Gunaratana, B. (2002). Mindfulness in Plain English. p. 137.)
     The world in which we live first comes to us through our senses. We intelligently process this information, without needing to resort to thinking. We all process perceptual (experiential) information for most of what we do, like stopping our car at a light, pulling covers over ourselves when the sleeping gets too cold, deciding just where a picture looks best on the wall, and realizing an insight that pops fully formed into consciousness. Such information is not altered by transformation into concepts/ thoughts. It’s prior to thought—experiential, non-conceptual. This is the world of mindfulness that Gunaratana writes about.
     In contrast, when experience is transformed into concepts and those concepts are taken as truthful, chronically useful representations of reality, the psychosis of “living categorically” re-arises. In such a state, word categories, though they are transformations of directly informative experience, are mistakenly believed as true. Consider what’s truer. That spiders are harmful or deadly so one should be fearful of them all or that they are benign, 8-legged bugs that sometimes appear in the house. How have you stereotyped certain situations, like heights or flying, or foods? How have others stereotyped you? Don’t phobias arise when thoughts don’t match reality? Isn’t the same mechanism at play for many of the other anxieties, like flying and public speaking? How do thoughts relate to low self-esteem or the need to compensate by achieving wealth? Isn’t your identity more the felt experience that’s always been with you than your job or your race or your gender? Is creativity enhanced or impaired when the mind is clear of thought?
     To begin to reintroduce you to a more truthful reality, I’ll answer a question posed above. Let’s take the one about the cup. A cup is a category, not a specific object. This cup on my desk, for instance, is a specific entity within the general category of cups. It has a specific colorings, shapes, dimensions, etc. It’s not exactly like any other cup. No one can identify this unique cup through words, even by adding many descriptive modifiers. Further, like all specific things, it cannot be named. No one can say a word about the smell of coffee, the color blue or the feeling of painfulness to someone who never had the sense of smell, vision or pain. Forgetting or ignorance of this fact is likely the origin of the psychosis under discussion here.
     As for the questions above, the one about the pipe should have been easy to get correct since the painter, Magritte, wrote in French “This is not a pipe” below the picture. He reminds us that a picture of a pipe is not a pipe. It’s a representation or symbol of a pipe. Further, this picture does not represent the word “pipe” as it’s used in the sense of a category, either. The word, too, only represents a category of objects not a unique one. Any and every unique pipe, of course, cannot be verbally expressed.
     The question about race highlights the depth of the injuriousness of the diagnosis. Uniqueness and creativity become unappreciated and trivialized when the psychosis of “living categorically” becomes full blown. Boundaries to skin color and geographic origins of ethnicity really don’t exist. Those with this psychosis use the word “race” only to artificially categorize people who each are, in fact, completely unique—not a group.
     At their core, mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR), mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT), and mindfulness-based everything (MBE) all treat this psychosis because they return us to reality. It’s the one untransformed into words. The one in which everything and everyone is rightly, and inexpressibly unique. How does MBE reduce stress? Mindfulness provides a re-introduction back to a more truthful reality. Stress and anxiety may be caused by the difference between the categories in which you see the world and how it really and uniquely exists. If so, the mental process of all cognitive psychological psychotherapies, which challenge one’s thoughts about the world, may basically work through a similar mechanism.
     Happiness, success, and creativity may all increase when one lives closer to the truth of what we experience directly. This way of living, in closer contact with reality, may be helpful for minimizing all of the numerous, harmful biases caused by the psychosis of living categorically. Wouldn’t it be nice to be rid of them?

     About Steven Pashko, Ph.D.
     Steven Pashko is a research clinician who studies treatment effectiveness and the value of health and healthcare. With a background in psychology (license), CNS pharmacology (doctorate), and meditation (completed more than 52 intensive, week-long retreats) he conducts research and speaks about well-being.
     Disclaimer: This article neither describes a formally recognized psychological diagnosis nor is it a substitute for a psychological diagnosis or treatment. If you are in need of either, please contact a local licensed psychologist.

     Buddhist perspectives: http://newbuddhist.com/discussion/11054/discursive-thinking


Tuesday, 30 June 2015

#701 Self-talk Drives Us Crazy YET We Cling to It - Why?

     When we first learn to meditate, many of us try desperately to "get rid of our thoughts." No wonder! Doesn't self-talk feel nightmarishly repetitive?
     Then why do we also compulsively entertain every thought that comes by? Because we seem to assume that self-talk IS our very self! 
     IF this internal chatter were "a direct readout on reality," emanating from our "self", then of course we should hang onto it. BUT doesn't internal chatter strike us as irritating, superfluous noise? AND when we have rare moments of mental stillness, peace & quiet, instead of dying, doesn't it feel wonderful? Don't we actually feel MORE vibrantly alive?
     With a bit of courage & lots of persistence, we gradually let go of clinging to ("entertaining") passing thoughts. As we do, we can progressively become healthier.
     Shunryu Suzuki, a highly regarded Zen teacher, advised:
               "When you sit,
               you leave the front door open,
               you leave the back door open,
               and you don't serve tea."


Wednesday, 28 January 2015

#627 Foolish Behaviour & Identity

     Some of our behaviors obviously run contrary to our own long-term interests. And yet we cling tightly to our self-sabotaging behaviour patterns!
     How many times have you heard someone point out another's repeated self-defeating behaviour, only to be answered immediately with a defensive angry outburst: "but that's who I am!!"
     Most of us identify with our behaviour patterns, including those that are seriously damaging. Why? Because the pattern of our self-talk, thoughts, & behaviour is perhaps the most stable of all phenomena. Everything changes, but we can pretty well fossilize a rigid personality for life - at a huge cost to our quality of life. So we pretend that our own foolish behaviour patterns are "solid & reliable" in an otherwise mysterious, constantly shifting, evolving universe.
     We can do much better than that. We can constantly monitor our own self-talk, thoughts, speech & behaviour to see if these are appropriate & beneficial to the present moment and for our own & others' long-term happiness. If not, we can accept it, let it go, and choose to think, speak or act more wisely.
               If it's not helpful, do less of it;
               If it's helpful, do more of it.
     This is mindful practice and it's result: psychological flexibility. Psychological flexibility permits steady gradual evolution in consciousness, and thus wiser thoughts, speech & behaviour. 
     One's identity is neither solid, nor unchanging - it can & should evolve, throughout life, and not be held down in dysfunction. Advice during meditation about letting go of words and images, and remaining appropriate to the task in front of us, applies equally to "self-image". Many wise people have advised that we forget "the self" and concentrate on being kind. Of course this does not endorse self-neglect or self-abuse. However, being overly concerned about the 'self' guarantees suffering, while helping others consistently brings happiness & joy.


Halifax colors



Thursday, 13 November 2014

#587 Consciousness - Right Here, Right Now

     Reality is essentially consciousness, and vice versa. Consciousness directly experiences reality, somewhat like a clear mirror reflects an image - exactly as it is, and of course, in real time. Obviously, this is immediately, effortlessly available to all human beings.

     But as soon as we start talking to ourselves about the experience, or about anything else, we immediately abandon reality, to maintain & stroke our pretend pet - the ego. Tragically, we spend most of our lives doing this, "lost in thought". We so fully inhabit this "ordinary mind" narrative, this cartoon life, that we mistakenly assume the "me", "myself" & "I" - the main character - to be our actual identity. We cling to and defend this "ego" as if our survival depended on it. Though an ego is only "virtual," we nevertheless treat it morbidly seriously - to our own & everyone else's detriment.
     Being mindlessly egocentric & tribal, is at the primitive pole of human evolution. Transcending the ego and being mindful, allocentric and ecocentric are at the evolving, civilized pole. The very basis of all wisdom traditions is about waking up from the nightmare of self-centeredness, and opening to the far vaster reality that is right here, right now.

      "consciousness is different (than the above 'ordinary mind'). It appears to have no form at all, because anything that would give it form must arise within the field of consciousness. Consciousness is simply the light by which the contours of mind and body are known. It is that which is aware of feelings such as joy, regret, amusement, and despair. It can seem to take their shape for a time, but it is possible to recognize that it never quite does. In fact, we can directly experience that consciousness is never improved or harmed by what it knows. Making this discovery, again and again, is the basis of spiritual life."                           Sam Harris. "Waking Up. A Guide to Spirituality without Religion." Simon & Schuster, 2014.

Dan Piraro   bizarro.com
 

Tuesday, 11 November 2014

#586 Who is Suffering when I Rest in Awareness?

      "... when I pay attention, it is impossible for me to feel like a self at all: The implied center of cognition and emotion simply falls away, and it is obvious that consciousness is never truly confined by what it knows. That which is aware of sadness is not sad. That which is aware of fear is not fearful. The moment I am lost in thought, however, I’m as confused as anyone else.

     The whole of Advaita ("non-dualism" in general) reduces to a series of very simple and testable assertions: 
          • Consciousness is the prior condition of every experience;
          the self or ego is an illusory appearance within it;
          look closely for what you are calling ‘I,’ and the feeling of being a separate self will disappear;
          what remains, as a matter of experience, is a field of consciousness – free, undivided, and intrinsically uncontaminated by its ever-changing contents.”

       Sam Harris. "Waking Up. A Guide to Spirituality without Religion." Simon & Schuster, 2014.

     "Free Will"? - see: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/07/373-how-free-is-our-free-will.html 


Austin Beahm, National Geographic   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

Monday, 6 October 2014

#571 Learning What 'Just This' Holds

     Sitting in meditation, thought proliferation may arise: "When is this going to be over? I have a lot to do. I'm getting fidgety. Let's get the show on the road! etc etc etc"

     "When we want something to be over, we lose compassion for ourselves, now."                      John Tarrant

     Can we fully accept self-talk, and set it aside for now? Can we learn to settle for "just this"? 

     Suppose we have a silent, peaceful dimension - without self-talk or other noise, without any time-related issues.
     Just for the duration of this sitting, can we - without any agenda - simply rest in silence, stillness, peace?



Monday, 17 March 2014

#506 How Accurate is "Self-talk" - the Stuff We Keep Telling Ourselves?

     Many of us, by default, take our self-talk, opinions & perceptions as objective truth - a direct readout on reality. Furthermore, we assume these are stable, unchanging. Interestingly & paradoxically, we also recognize that "who we are" has a major impact on all of these. In other words, we know very well that different people have differing takes on the same experience. We also know very well that we see things very differently now than when we were 2 or 12 or even 22 years old. So the more closely we investigate phenomena, the less puzzling the statement:

     “We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.”                 Anais Nin

     In other words, we project our constantly changing inner state of being onto the outer world. When we're down, the world looks like a miserable place, when we're up, the world miraculously transforms into a joyous place.
     So the tone or quality of our self-talk might be more accurately interpreted, not as caused by what's out there right now, but rather as our current mood, which is brought about by many factors (internal, external, past, present and or future).
     Can we simply observe our mood as a transient energy and nothing more? Can we hold it lightly instead of merging with it (cognitive fusion)? What happens to transient states?


Steve McCurry   stevemccurry.com

Friday, 7 March 2014

#504 Curiosity & Processing

     In Mindfulness training we're advised to be "curious" about phenomena that arise. Yet we're also advised to "let go of words" and "let go of stories"! So what does "curiosity" mean in this context?
     This is a very basic and practically important question. We're used to having an almost continuous verbal commentary - "self-talk" - running 24/7, including of course when we begin practicing meditation! Typically, while observing something, we describe it to ourselves using words. So can we observe without words? And if so, how?
     What happens spontaneously when we're alone in the house, and we hear a faint odd sound? We suddenly stop whatever we're doing, become completely still, perhaps even hold our breath, and listen intently. At these times, we're so attentive, that even self-talk seems to go silent. We see animals do what appears to be the same thing - an ancient instinctive behavior pattern for becoming deeply attentive.
     How can we intentionally ease into this silent, still space of receptive, open listening? Remembering the classic Zen instruction to listen with our eyes & look with our ears helps us transcend linear discursive thinking (relatively slow, crude & detached) - and associated self-talk (disruptive) - and helps open all our senses, as we become profoundly still & silent.
     Sound is physically sensed. Silence is potential sound. Musicians have high regard for the silent intervals between sounds. In Mindfulness, we learn to open up to & investigate BOTH sound & silence - therefore to be continuously aware. We're training to process experience (primarily) physically (eg sound & silence, feel of the breath, etc) rather than conceptually (eg words). CONTINUOUS PHYSICAL CONTACT with present-moment experience.
     Consider sitting in the middle of a large open pasture with the intention of noticing deer. We would, like our ancestors for countless generations before, sit very still, silent, for hours, with relaxed sustained stable awareness. We have the inherent capacity to do precisely this, without concern for time. Mindfulness training cultivates an innate natural capacity.


Heiko Meyer   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

Thursday, 6 March 2014

#503 Self-talk & Identity

     During Mindfulness training we learn to notice, accept & then let go of self-talk, seamlessly bringing attention back to the object(s) of awareness. Is self-talk merely an innocent distraction? Sometimes ...
     Sometimes self-talk is encouraging - "Common, you can do it!" This may be useful - for a while.
     Too often, self-talk is self-defeating - "Oh no, not standing meditation! The last time we did that it was soooo uncomfortable! I don't want to do it now! I don't ever want to do it again! I so much prefer sitting meditation" etc etc etc. Such self-talk very effectively trains us to self-sabotage. The more we listen to & engage with this, the more these statements become - in our minds - hard facts, until the contents become "who we are" (cognitive fusion). Unhelpful self-talk clearly needs to be noticed early, accepted, & let go - gently - but definitely let go.
     Isn't it odd that we have to repeatedly remind ourselves that our core identity is NOT a pathetic collection of rigid preferences, dislikes & can't do's? We are SO MUCH MORE than that. But until we thoroughly let go of the former sticky fiction, we hold ourselves back from living the latter reality.

     See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/04/311-fearful-child-wise-grandparent-were.html
     and: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/08/381-each-moment-new-beginning.html

Bronwyn Proven   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

Monday, 28 October 2013

#423 What is This?

     There are at least 3 levels of reality: 1) the stories we tell ourselves about reality, from our default narrative focus of attention; 2) reality as we actually experience it directly, from our experiential focus of attention (mindfulness); and occasionally, 3) profound peace, silence, stillness that feels like home.
     Much of mindfulness practice is about noticing, accepting, then letting go of a wide variety of noises (self-talk, mental proliferation etc - mainly #1) that's interposed - like friction - between our awareness and #2 & 3.  
     Much of mindfulness practice is identifying & letting go of noise / friction, a process of simplification, of getting down to basics, the core of what we are, then living this mystery as cleanly & simply as possible. What is this?


Charles Baxter   www.dpreview.com

Thursday, 4 July 2013

#359 Primer on Perseverative - Repetitive, Negative - Thoughts

     Mindfulness practices train one to rest in the awareness of whatever the present moment holds, without judgment, letting go of self-talk, letting go of thoughts of the past or future. Below are a few reasons, from the perspective of Western psychology, why this is beneficial.
     "The ability to recall stressful life events and to anticipate stressful events has several adaptive functions. It enables us to learn from previous mistakes, to avoid negative events, and to prepare for the worst. There is, however, also a downside to these abilities: thinking about past and future negative events also enables perseverative thoughts (or perseverative cognition): repetitive, negative thoughts that do not solve or improve a situation. Examples of perseverative thoughts are: recurrent self-denigrating thoughts about a past failure on an exam or anxious thoughts about an upcoming contest. Two concepts that fall under the category of perseverative thoughts are worry (‘a chain of thoughts and images, negatively affect-laden and relatively uncontrollable’; and rumination (‘a class of conscious thoughts concerning one’s goals and that recur in the absence of immediate environmental demands requiring the thoughts.’ 
     Already in childhood, these perseverative thoughts are quite common. Perseverative thoughts arise in middle childhood when children’s cognitive development allows them to reason about future possibilities, to consider multiple outcomes, and to elaborate potential negative consequences. In line with findings confirming the down- side effects of perseverative thoughts on adults’ emotional functioning, perseverative thoughts in childhood are associated with further problems of negative affect, such as anxiety and depression.
      The literature on adults also has consistently shown that perseverative thoughts are positively associated with adverse physiological activation, cardiovascular disease and somatic complaints. These findings support the ‘perseverative cognition hypothesis’. According to this hypothesis, perseverative thoughts prolong physiological activation beyond the presence of actual stressful situations. Whereas acute physiological changes in response to an actual stressor are useful in enabling a person’s behavioral responses to stress (i.e., fight or flight), the prolongation of this physiological activation caused by perseverative thoughts adds to the total load, or ‘wear and tear’ that stressful events have on somatic well being. This prolonged physiological activation eventually leads to a pathogenic state and somatic problems. In addition, the negative affectivity related to perseverative thoughts may increase the attention of adults and children for internal signals, and to interpreting them more negatively. According to the symptom perception hypothesis of Pennebaker (1982), this will increase the likelihood that physical symptoms are perceived as somatic complaints." 

       Jellesma FC, Verkuil B, Brosschot JF. Postponing worrisome thoughts in children: The effects of a postponement intervention on perseverative thoughts, emotions and somatic complaints. Social Science & Medicine 2009; 69(2): 278-284.

Portia and Hildie

Thursday, 30 August 2012

#176 Ideas, Concepts, Limitations

     While sitting in meditation, but of course also at other times, we have the opportunity to observe our self-talk. Much of this mental chatter is judgmental - "I like this", "I don't like that", "This tastes delicious", "I hate that dress." This is our (reptilian) brain stem's approach-avoidance reflex at work - useful at the subconscious level, but tedious as far as conversations go.
     We also tell ourselves "I've always been good at sports", "I've never been good at spelling", "I can't eat mushrooms - they always give me indigestion", "I could never do that - I can't handle stress."
     If we heard someone else say these things about us, we'd be upset for being unfairly categorized into a box, a prison. We'd feel like a caricature, an exaggeration of our foibles. It would be a form of prejudice. Yet, we take such self-talk seriously. Can we question our life-long assumptions? Can we at least hold them more lightly?

     "Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're right."           Henry Ford

Canadian Museum for Human Rights, Winnipeg