#509 Letting Go of Friction & Noise

     We have automatic, conditioned reactions to many life events. Some reactions are avoidant or aversive - we try to keep unpleasant, difficult or otherwise threatening things away physically, away from our heart / emotions (via armoring) or at the very least away from our consciousness (via suppression, repression). We reflexively erect pretend boundaries or barriers between ourselves and challenging reality.
     Our other reactions involve grasping or clinging - we automatically chase after, try to catch & permanently hang onto things we want or think we must have. 
     Grasping arises from instinctive fearful neediness, avoidant behavior arises from instinctive fearful aversion. Both are fear-based & self-centered. Both are primitive instincts we share with animals, right down to single-cell organisms. This echo from our collective & personal evolutionary past expressed through our fearful inner child can be sufficiently powerful as to dominate our life OR at the very least, add a great deal of undesirable friction or noise.
     Enabling (in the negative, psychological sense - see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enabling) our inner child predictably drains us of energy, and predictably leads to suffering. As we gradually become aware of this repetitive, dysfunctional pattern, we become motivated to find a better way to live - more & more like the inner wise grandparent.
     Mindfulness practice is all about intentionally, gently but persistently, shifting (evolving) our level of consciousness ("operating system") from fearful child to wise adult.

Steve McCurry   stevemccurry.com

#503 Self-talk & Identity

     During Mindfulness training we learn to notice, accept & then let go of self-talk, seamlessly bringing attention back to the object(s) of awareness. Is self-talk merely an innocent distraction? Sometimes ...
     Sometimes self-talk is encouraging - "Common, you can do it!" This may be useful - for a while.
     Too often, self-talk is self-defeating - "Oh no, not standing meditation! The last time we did that it was soooo uncomfortable! I don't want to do it now! I don't ever want to do it again! I so much prefer sitting meditation" etc etc etc. Such self-talk very effectively trains us to self-sabotage. The more we listen to & engage with this, the more these statements become - in our minds - hard facts, until the contents become "who we are" (cognitive fusion). Unhelpful self-talk clearly needs to be noticed early, accepted, & let go - gently - but definitely let go.
     Isn't it odd that we have to repeatedly remind ourselves that our core identity is NOT a pathetic collection of rigid preferences, dislikes & can't do's? We are SO MUCH MORE than that. But until we thoroughly let go of the former sticky fiction, we hold ourselves back from living the latter reality.

     See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/04/311-fearful-child-wise-grandparent-were.html
     and: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/08/381-each-moment-new-beginning.html

Bronwyn Proven   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

#311 Fearful Child & Wise Grandparent - We're Both, & We Can Mature Amazingly

     Since none of us has perfect genes, nor received perfectly consistent unconditional love, etc, we're all traumatized to some degree from birth. So we have within each of us, an "inner child" who feels alone & afraid in what appears to be a hostile universe. Successful, otherwise confident, middle-aged professionals, can instantly transform into whimpering children in a dental office or other specific situations.
     At the same time, most of us are capable of heroic levels of altruism and bravery in the service of those in distress. So we also have, within each of us, a wise loving stable grandparent, with a broad perspective based on timeless experience.
     Under stress, the fearful child tends to manifest. In good times - or - in a life-or-death emergency, the wise grandparent tends to manifest. With mindfulness training, we naturally mature from a place of fear, towards greater love & wisdom. In the "laboratory of the mind" that mindfulness practice provides, we learn to gently, fully accept & embrace our inner fearful child whenever it manifests, then with increasing stability, we become able to manifest & embody our wise grandparent in thoughts, speech & behavior.
     With continuous intelligent mindfulness practice, even under the worst possible external conditions, awareness, equanimity, kindness & joy can become reality. Our consciousness can evolve well beyond our current imagination (imagination being the product & reflection of our present level of consciousness). This lifelong journey of mindfulness is full of surprises.
     Some of us can find ourselves trapped for decades, or a lifetime, in our hurt inner child part, and require expert help from a trauma specialist to help us evolve into & stabilize in our mature adult part.
     Also see: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/08/381-each-moment-new-beginning.html

Mariko Klug