#723 What Does It Take for Us to Realize?

      “The separate self that we have invested our whole identity in is being exposed in this investigation as being completely nonexistent. It’s not there. The self, the separate self around whom we have our lives, our thoughts, and feelings and activities and relationships have revolved for so many decades – when we look for it – it’s not there. 
     Now it takes courage and love and clarity to begin to look. And many of us, not all of us, but many of us have to suffer intensely before life pushes us to ask these fundamental questions. Others come to it through other ways. But for many of us it’s repeated failure and suffering that makes us say ‘Hang on. Just stop. How much longer am I going to go on thinking and feeling this way. Why don’t I look at the fundamental presumption.’ And that starts with ‘What am I?’ ‘Am I this image, this cluster of sensations?’ 
     And as soon as we start looking – we don’t have to look very deeply – it’s obvious that we’re not what we thought we were."

       above transcribed from the Youtube video:
       "Rupert Spira - 'The Seamless Intimacy Of Experience' - Interview by Renate McNay"
       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAEwC4VjvyE

       The above non-dual inquiry method is very gentle compared to the challenges life hands out when we try - in vain - to cling to a fictional solid, fixed 'sense of self': http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=shipwrecks
    

 

#583 Sticky Stories are Just Stories, NOT Who I Am

     Stories we continuously tell ourselves differ from what happened in our past, what's happening now, and what will happen. They're not true. The "story of my life" is a mental fabrication, like a recurrent nightmare, NOT a direct readout on reality.
     Direct perception IS a direct readout on reality. This can only happen when we're engaged in real time - perceiving reality, being real, AS actual life rapidly unfolds microsecond-by-microsecond. There's no self-talk, no "thinking about" when we're fully engaged with life.
     We have more in common with heroin junkies than we care to admit. Our "monkey mind" incessantly drops out of reality to spin a story, then, instead of "being real" we literally live in - are cognitively fused with - our story. For the vast majority of our life we live in the trance of our story. Were this story always, or even usually a "good trip", then escaping reality might be understandable, but our stories are usually depressing or riddled with anxiety!
     So why on earth hang onto a miserable story as if my life depended on it? Because we actually believe that my story IS me, who I am, my core identity as a person! No wonder we have self-esteem issues!
     A basic aim in psychotherapy is to effect cognitive defusion - help people let go of this common pathological identification with the nightmarish stories they trap themselves in AND get back to reality. There's a whole movement in psychology studying the problems caused by the "noisy ego", and benefits of the "hypo-egoic state", and ultimately, of transcending the ego.
     Downsizing the ego from its dictatorial stranglehold is an absolute necessity if one wishes to be truly happy in a wise, mature way. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=Wayment

savolio   www.dpreview.com

#503 Self-talk & Identity

     During Mindfulness training we learn to notice, accept & then let go of self-talk, seamlessly bringing attention back to the object(s) of awareness. Is self-talk merely an innocent distraction? Sometimes ...
     Sometimes self-talk is encouraging - "Common, you can do it!" This may be useful - for a while.
     Too often, self-talk is self-defeating - "Oh no, not standing meditation! The last time we did that it was soooo uncomfortable! I don't want to do it now! I don't ever want to do it again! I so much prefer sitting meditation" etc etc etc. Such self-talk very effectively trains us to self-sabotage. The more we listen to & engage with this, the more these statements become - in our minds - hard facts, until the contents become "who we are" (cognitive fusion). Unhelpful self-talk clearly needs to be noticed early, accepted, & let go - gently - but definitely let go.
     Isn't it odd that we have to repeatedly remind ourselves that our core identity is NOT a pathetic collection of rigid preferences, dislikes & can't do's? We are SO MUCH MORE than that. But until we thoroughly let go of the former sticky fiction, we hold ourselves back from living the latter reality.

     See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/04/311-fearful-child-wise-grandparent-were.html
     and: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/08/381-each-moment-new-beginning.html

Bronwyn Proven   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

#399 Letting Go of Soil - the Jar of Soil & Water Metaphor - Part 2

     Continuing with the jar of soil & water metaphor of #398, sitting meditation practice shows us that we're so used to thinking about something that we actually feel one with or identified with thoughts ("cognitive fusion"). It's as if the clear water didn't exist, only the soil. Thoughts ("objects of mind" - bits of soil) seem sticky, some much more so than others eg the memory of someone insulting us; or catastrophizing about an upcoming interview or medical appointment. Our entire world can become this one story (single particle of soil) for days, weeks or even longer, while our day-to-day affairs are managed "on autopilot."
      Another discovery we make in meditation is that our thinking is mostly about the past ("the good - or bad - old days") or future (wishing or anxiety). This is despite the practical fact that the present requires our full attention. ALSO experience and now science shows that stable awareness of what's going on in the present moment feels  good - much better than being off in the past or future. Our quality of life is at its highest when we are whole-heartedly engaged in the present for prolonged periods of time eg being with a beloved person or pet, "wrapped-up" in a great movie, doing our hobby, participating in an exciting (even extreme) sport, etc.
     The soil particles are in motion - either being stirred up or settling down, while water is at rest. When we're present, mindful, we have the perspective of clear still water & observe the particles (thoughts) floating by without attaching to (identifying with) them. Training allows this to happen with increasing ease, consistency and stability. Sticking to particles going by is a habit. Noticing & repeatedly letting go of this old mental habit ("cognitive defusion"), replaces it with a new mental habit - mindfulness. This is the predictable, scientifically-proven effect of mental training that rewires the brain, creating new connections and new brain cells (neuroplasticity). 
     Gradually we come to feel at home in clarity (clear water), without habitually clinging to the (mud particles of the) past or future, resting joyfully in the constantly changing fascinating challenging present moment. 
     See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/12/249-busy-scattered-distracted-monkey.html

Kentville, Nova Scotia