#540 What is Energizing me - Right Now?

     As soon as we wake in the morning, if we pay close attention, we can feel our mind & body come back to "full steam ahead", especially when we have something pressing or exciting to do. We can feel our mind-body revving up like a racing car immediately before the race. We 'get' this part.
     What takes a lot longer to realize, is that though it seems like we're always energized TOWARDS activities or people, in fact, much of the time the real motivation is AVOIDING more challenging aspects of our life. 

     It's immeasurably useful - healthy - to reflect on what we're running from whenever we find ourselves running.

     We do an awful lot of running, but "a life unexamined" is not an intelligently chosen life-long path.

          “Your vision will become clear when you look into your heart.
          Who looks outside, dreams.
          Who looks inside, awakens.”                             Carl Gustav Jung

#539 What Things Arise during Sitting Meditation?

     Here's another question (koan) to ponder: "What sort of things keep coming up while we sit in meditation?"

     If we think about it, do these not ultimately boil down to "our reasons" why we're not worthy to receive AND not capable of providing unconditional love?

     And how do we handle these things?

Ken Dyball, National Geographic   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

#538 Centrality of Love

     Here's a question (koan) to ponder: 
          "No matter what problem confronts me, what role does love play?" More specifically, UNCONDITIONAL love? Love:
          • without limitations
          • without conditions
          • without bounds
          • unchanging
          • completely committed

     Isn't unconditional love something we all seek to receive AND provide?
     What happens when we pretend that it's irrelevant?

     See: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2012/12/everyones-doing-their-best-under.html
     and: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/search?q=unconditional

     

#537 Appropriate Behavior Takes Time AND Practice!

     How many people do you know who, no matter what:
1) laugh heartily, 
2) blurt something out,  
3) laugh heartily, then 
4) rush off? 

     Typically there's nothing funny, and they don't stop long enough to hear or understand what you have to say. 
     Is this really supposed to represent meaningful human interaction?

     Do I enjoy a regular daily sitting meditation practice? If not, then in all likelihood, I too lack what it takes to consistently engage - with an open mind-heart - with whomever & whatever the present moment holds.

     See: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2012/07/introverts-contribute-much-more-than.html 

Cotton Coulson, National Geographic   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

#536 Between Destructive Activity & Passivity - Nurturing Engagement

     Don't we often assume that to get anything accomplished we must bulldoze our way through obstacles, be they things or people? We have the idea that force and "collateral damage" are inevitable and necessary components of getting the job done, of reaching goals. So we assume it's a choice between destructive action - OR - useless passivity through which nothing is achieved.
     Between these two unhelpful extremes - both of which are very hard on everyone involved - is the more reasonable middle way. Neither violent action nor inactivity, but intelligent nurturing provides all the necessary ingredients for beneficial things to happen. A gardening analogy is useful: neither impatiently ripping out the carrots before they're ripe, nor ignoring them helps. What helps is intelligent nurturing - ensuring the carrots receive all the light, water & fertilizer they require.
     Mindfulness meditation trains us for such nurturing engagement - appropriate, helpful action - in our moment-to-moment life.

Quang Tran, National Geographic   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

#535 Mindful Heart Monitoring

     Cultivating stable, continuous awareness - monitoring - the state of my mind-heart is key. Then I recognize:

           • What impact my being kind, aware & open mind-hearted has on my own & others' quality of life,
           • Compared to when I'm self-centered, "driven" & closed mind-hearted.

      "The path to loving-kindness will always entail our gentle attention to the very things that block our way to it."  
                              Ezra Bayda

      See:  http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/02/285-how-my-heart-feels-heavy-or-open.html
 

#534 Heart of the Matter

     As I heard the news of more children killed & kidnapped in Nigeria by terrorists, I could feel my heart area tighten & harden. I knew that if I allowed the momentum of that well-worn emotional story line to continue, I'd be cheering on those people who'll be hunting these terrorists down. But this trajectory only adds to our suffering. We can't eliminate "evil" by eliminating people who do terrible things. For thousands of years we've been proving that "an eye-for-an-eye" (or worse) predictably perpetuates or escalates violence & hatred. "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein

     We're trying to evolve into conscious, rational, civilized human beings. Our practice is to first & foremost let go of our own hard-heartedness, and stabilize our own mind-heart in the open position. Our practice is not to be critically selective about whom we love & help, but to nurture all people, critters, things & places. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/06/140-love.html

Peggy's Cove, Nova Scotia, May 4, 2014

#533 How to Keep from Becoming Frustrated? - Part 2

     As we continue to practice mindfulness, we become able to see our thought patterns more & more clearly and objectively. We start monitoring our thoughts, emotions, speech & behavior AND the consequences of each of these.
     What precisely does my prolonged feeling of these (below) accomplish?: 
          • down, angry, hopeless, revengeful, righteous, etc about "my world's situation"
          • guilt for not saving "my world"
          • revengeful over the injustices suffered by "my ancestors"
          • anger & hatred towards "the enemies of my people"
          • anger & hatred towards "my enemies"
          • judgmental & hatred towards those who don't live up to "my standards"

     What proportion of our FINITE energy & lifetime do the above dysfunctional habits of mind bleed out of us? Being "frustrated" is a massive waste of time & energy. For some, it's a huge part of their cultural identity to wallow in such emotional swamps. Some of these unfortunates inevitably act out, causing wide-scale suffering - and what good comes of these?
     Being frustrated, indignant, angry, revengeful, etc is useless dysfunctional posturing. Life's short & precious - HELP REDUCE SUFFERING & INCREASE JOY - for yourself & others. Positive change must & CAN start within each one of us.

Halifax, Nova Scotia, May 3, 2014

#532 How to Keep from Becoming Frustrated? - Part 1

     World & local events on the news often sound horrifically ugly, barbarically cruel, primitive. The perpetrators are often amazingly brazen, defiant, even triumphant - claiming religious, political or other "rationale" for their subhuman behavior. Disgust is a common, understandable reaction from civilized society.
     How - or why - should we keep from supporting those who would "nuke them back into the stone-age"? In short, that would make us horrifically ugly, barbarically cruel, primitive. It's critically important to recognize our own potential for evil. "Wiping out evil - out there" eg capital punishment for murderers, does nothing to eliminate our own capacity to cause others great suffering.
     Those perps on the news are literally our relatives. How would we want our children treated if they were the perps on the news? It would be with superhuman understanding, respect, fairness, with rehabilitation instead of vengeance in mind.
     The other humbling aspect for us to ponder AND act on is the part WE play in these global events. How does our appetite for ridiculously cheap clothes contribute to child labor & dangerous sweat shops in third world countries? How does our appetite for street drugs contribute to the drug-related massacres in Mexico, Columbia etc and on our own streets? Our appetite for oil, exotic produce from around the world, our inflated standard of living, - all come at a price - increased suffering for poor, powerless people around the world.
     WE need to clean our own house! The more clearly we see ourselves, the more humble we become, the less unnecessary suffering we cause ourselves & others. Awareness, humility & kindness work for us, work for others - these just work!
     We surely know by now that "the war to end all wars" - both of them, and all the other wars on drugs, terrorism, poverty, etc - are primitive useless garbage - enough - they don't work!

Peggy's Cove, Nova Scotia, May 4, 2014

#531 Preferences & How I Feel

     How am I feeling right now? - or - What is my current state of being? 
     Am I feeling "off" at all? How? 
     Are the way things are right now not quite right? Not suitable? 
     Would I prefer something different that what is here & now? 
     How strongly do I want to have things "my way"? 
     How does the strength of this preference relate to how bad I feel?

Peggy's Cove, Nova Scotia, May 4, 2014

#530 At Home or Traveling - How Do You Feel?

     We travel - looking for what?
     What does being at home feel like?
     Is home really just a place?
     Isn't home a state of being?

     When we have strong preferences - one way or another - we're far from home. Even when we're physically in our own house, unless we're at peace - with ourselves & our environment - we're not really at home.

Peggy's Cove, Nova Scotia, May 4, 2014

#529 Keep On Waking Up

     During meditation we're trying to notice, as early as possible, each time we slip away into one of our basic story lines or daydreams. 
     Why do we compulsively keep escaping from the here & now? It's very important to carefully notice how we feel immediately before the urge to escape arises. 
          • How does it feel immediately before we run to the fridge (when not hungry)?  
          • How does it feel immediately before we check our smart phone (though there's nothing important going on)?
          • How does it feel immediately before we jump up to go somewhere (though there's nowhere in particular we need to go)?

     Does compulsive avoidance work - get us where we need to be? And if not, is it time to let it go?


       Compulsivity is a tendency to repeat the same, often purposeless acts, which are sometimes associated with undesirable consequences. http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/impulse-control-disorders/understanding-differences-between-impulsivity-and-compulsivity

#528 Communicating?

     There have been over 110,000 site visits (human : bot ratio?) to the 3 blogs I've been writing since Dec 2011. To these, a mere 52 comments have been posted. I hope the posts are beneficial to you in some small way. 
     A blog is today's "message in a bottle" - thrown into the ocean by someone stranded on a remote island.  
     Feedback - ie your comment - is a tiny commitment. Yet it acknowledges and establishes connection & engagement, humanizes this process, is so welcome, & enlivens both of us!

#527 What Can We Do About Toxic Environments?

     We instinctively pull away from unpleasant, difficult situations, people, activities, and are attracted to pleasant, comfortable situations, people, activities. It's the well-known approach-avoid dichotomy see: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/03/65-embracing-full-catastrophe.html
     One very unfortunate consequence of this tendency is that when things start going awry in one's surroundings eg a colleague's behavior becomes disruptive, we're apt to avoid dealing with it in a timely, direct manner. We find it unpleasant, we may fear negative consequences from speaking to the person, we may feel incompetent intervening, we may not want to hurt the colleague's feelings, etc. Many of us have minimal training or skills in the behavioral sciences.
     Without constructive intervention, problems tend to persist or escalate. We'll often continue to avoid addressing the offender, because now it's really out of hand - way too much for us to handle. Now we may be grumbling incessantly about the problem with other colleagues, behind the offender's back, and even behind the backs of management, who could & should address the problem. Soon we're also grumbling about management for allowing the problem to get out of hand! THIS is the perfect recipe for poisoning one's environment. This is how a collegial, collaborative, family-like atmosphere can easily be turned toxic - not by the one troubled colleague - but by all the bystanders - the "nattering nabobs of negativism."

     So what is an appropriate, intelligent response (instead of avoidance) to such problems?  
     1) awareness & acceptance of problems
     2) approach & investigate them with curiosity 
     3) learn & apply skills to solve them early
     4) institute proactive preventive measures

     We can learn to become competent in any arena.  Competence transforms unpleasant difficulties that we may once have avoided, into manageable, even interesting challenges. We can become truly proactive by initiating a cultural shift in which training & competence in the psychosocial realm becomes a valued, integral part of our educational system. 
     See: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2013/04/fear-avoidance-ineffective-existential.html
     and: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/01/270-interpersonal-conflicts-inevitable.html

Peet J van Eeden, National Geographic   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com