#763 Overview of Meditation PRACTICE

     Our life, at times, appears to be under control - "I've got this!" Though we more-or-less sleep-walk through life, "doing things half-assed," we assume we're smart enough to get away with it. We're self-absorbed, lost in youthful naivete, (imagined) power & bright future. At this level of unconsciousness, we're not interested meditation at all. For a variety reasons, some of us remain at this level of maturity.

     As the years roll on, some of us are forced to learn hard lessons, become more humble, recognize how minimal our ability is to control life, and start searching for a deeper, more reliable form of happiness that's independent of conditions. Meditation now becomes more relevant.

     NOW the entire world is in turmoil: Covid 19 crisis / financial meltdown / climate crisis / direct or proxy warfare / refugee crises. "Normal" times have evaporated, possibly forever. It's time to wake up & engage with life CONSCIOUSLY, WISELY. 
     Einstein said that we can't solve a mess with the same level of consciousness as the one with which we caused it. We MUST evolve / mature to a higher level of consciousness. Now meditation practice is a vital asset.

     The various mindfulness meditation (MBSR) practices all have us concentrate our awareness on an object of meditation, in real time. The physically-felt details of our object of meditation (eg breath in our belly) are to completely fill our awareness. No part of our awareness should remain with which to be anxious, sad, to obsess, or daydream. Stable, one-pointed concentration - absorbed only on one "object" in silence & stillness (without metal chatter, without physical / emotional restlessness), in and of itself, feels pleasant & can therefore be effortlessly maintained. Profound mental rest & therefore stress relief are relatively easily & quickly obtainable.
     But initially, we ALL behave according to our lifelong training - unconsciously follow our deeply conditioned habits. So we follow the instructions in a "half-assed" way, "just going through the motions," remaining lost in our trance: self-talk about "the story of me," continuing to catastrophize, wallow, or daydream. Then we quickly jump to self-judgment & want to quit meditation "because we're no good at it."
     Our greatest obstacles are: 1) Lack of practice,  2) Impatience, & 3) Expecting dramatic results.
     1) A regular daily meditation PRACTICE must be established to replace our old outdated conditioning with new more appropriate conditioning / training. The more we practice wisely, the better we become at it. Without this disciplined approach, we derive ZERO benefits, no matter how much we read & talk about meditation. As with skiing, tennis or golf, we improve in direct proportion to the quality & quantity of our practice.
     2) IF we PATIENTLY persevere, and accept our old conditioning (untrained, distracted mind), treat ourselves with incredible patience, gentleness & kindness - holding ourselves in safety & unconditional love - carefully following the meditation instructions - zooming in on the details with curiosity, we WILL INEVITABLY SUCCEED. 
     Our mind is the organ of change. Wise, consistent training invariably transforms our mind to work FOR us (instead of against us). We will turn our life right around. From feeling helpless, vulnerable & needy, we gradually shift to embody the source of safety & unconditional love first for ourselves, and subsequently for others. 
     3) When we stabilize our awareness on a physical sensation (even for 10 seconds), we release our habitual shallow level of consciousness ("noisy ego") and become our deeper intelligence, experiencing peace, stillness & silence. The first few times, we tend to get either bored or all excited and so pop right back up to the shallows & start blabbering to ourselves, which of course immediately ends the experience. 
     If we expect meditation to deliver fireworks & levitation, we might actually overlook the subtle quality of profound peace, stillness & silence, and judge it boring, a waste of time! 
     If however we have suffered, or are now suffering from a lot of emotional anguish, then experiencing profound peace, stillness & silence will feel absolutely heavenly. Gradually, we do learn to feel comfortable & stabilize in this profoundly peaceful, still, silent, loving space of deep intelligence where we are deeply connected to, engaged, intimate with ourselves, others, the environment, life itself: http://www.johnlovas.com/2020/03/appreciating-subtle.html

     Let us PRACTICE regularly, wisely, patiently, kindly every day, formally and informally. We've created a desperate mess with our noisy ego. Now we must clean up this hot mess, but can only do so by embodying our deep intelligence. We know how; we can do it!

#662 The Ultimate Nature of Human Existence

     "Do we understand the domain of being, or do we not? 
      Can we inhabit our lives while we have them to live, as if they were worth actually knowing with some degree of intimacy, so that we could live the lives that are ours to live and do actually the work that's ours to do, as opposed to being driven by a whole range of complex motives...?"                                     Jon Kabat-Zinn

#639 Mindfulness in the Real World

     Many of us, even if we have some mindfulness practice under our belts, underestimate the practical importance and impact of mindfulness on our day-to-day life.
     We (incorrectly) tend to assume that our usual way of being & doing things (ie mindless / autopilot) is practical, effective - "necessary to survive in the real-world".
     Conversely, we (incorrectly) assume that mindfulness is impractical - akin to "being the nice guy" in a world where only SOBs "succeed".
     However, our mindless default state, being egocentric, mostly ignores others, where we are, the present moment - so it's profoundly alienating. Everyone keenly notices whenever we lack interest, attention, caring. There's no engagement, no quality of connection, no quality of life. We may well be seen as irrelevant, burdensome, an energy drain.
     When we're being mindful, others readily perceive our "presence". They feel the vitality of a powerful connection between us: attention, caring, empathy, kindness flows unobstructed. Quality engagement defines interpersonal quality of life. We cultivate a "magnetic personality".
     Mindfulness is a product of sincere, open-hearted practice. It's not easy, but nothing of profound value is.
     See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=presence

#616 Meaningful Living

     "What moves us to serve humanity, to achieve meaningful change, is genuine empathy; the capacity to feel the pain of others, to experience an intimate shared humanity, to accept discomfort and sacrifice in the path of a greater cause. In entering an authentic communion with others, we also discover a profound expression of our own dignity."

       Payam Akhavan, from the 2014 Vancouver Human Rights Lecture, "Beyond Human Rights: Building a World on Empathy."
       CBC radio interview: http://www.cbc.ca/ideas/episodes/2015/01/06/beyond-human-rights-1/

srb7109   www.dpreview.com

#615 Shame, Honesty & Intentional Maturation

     It takes maturity, courage, self-reflection, self-compassion and honesty to admit and clearly see our own limitations - our "shadow" - and work with these consciously, constructively. This is rare in today's society. Instead, we tend to 'act out' our shadow - foolish behavior is frighteningly common. It's spawned an endless stream of situation comedies and reality shows about hoarders, morbidly obese, terrible home repairs, an endless array of stunts that end badly, etc etc.

     Haven't we beaten our puer aeternus phase to death? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puer_aeternus Isn't it time to celebrate & promote the noble process of intentional maturation?

     "shame is ... the fear of disconnection: Is there something about me that, if other people know it or see it, that I won't be worthy of connection?
     Shame is universal; we all have it. The only people who don't experience shame have no capacity for human empathy or connection.
     No one wants to talk about it, and the less you talk about it the more you have it. What underpins this shame, this "I'm not good enough, ... not thin enough, rich enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, promoted enough"?
     The thing that underpins this is excruciating vulnerability, this idea of, in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen."                         Brene Brown PhD

       Brown B. "Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead." Gotham Books, NY, 2012. http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability#t-153143

#554 Interpersonal Engagement

     It's both fascinating and sad to closely observe a person's eyes as you speak to them. The listener's eyes obviously glaze over when they become disengaged - when they don't want to hear what you're saying.
     Why does such disengagement happen SO OFTEN?
     It surely can't be due to lack of importance of the subject matter. After all, most of our conversations are "small talk" ie the topic itself is of minimal importance. Small talk is a way of socializing. And it probably isn't the quality of the delivery of the message - most of us are far from being gifted speakers.
     Two major possibilities remain: the listener already knows or thinks they know what is being said (potential boredom) OR the listener is not ready to hear what's being said (potential stress).

      Could the cause be common mindlessness? Could intentionally remaining open mind-heartedly engaged - despite (supposedly) knowing all that your friend is about to say, or despite assuming that you can't take it all in - be a more powerful form of human bonding than common small talk? Could this become a practical part of your mindfulness practice?

 

Early Morning Mist on Eagle Lake

#528 Communicating?

     There have been over 110,000 site visits (human : bot ratio?) to the 3 blogs I've been writing since Dec 2011. To these, a mere 52 comments have been posted. I hope the posts are beneficial to you in some small way. 
     A blog is today's "message in a bottle" - thrown into the ocean by someone stranded on a remote island.  
     Feedback - ie your comment - is a tiny commitment. Yet it acknowledges and establishes connection & engagement, humanizes this process, is so welcome, & enlivens both of us!

#355 Physically Connecting with Life

     "The most powerful thing I've learned in practice is to tune in to how I actually feel. Our tendency is to either bury or act on feeling but not to actually feel feeling - and I don't mean a particular feeling but the felt sense that is underneath all feeling: our beating heart, our humanity, our basic goodness. The most important thing is to connect with that, and then everything else is just our life. ... our path is not a project, it's life. It's so powerful to realize that practice is fundamentally choiceless. It's just about being a human being, about being able to connect with our humanity on a more complete level."   Judith Simmer-Brown

Gretel in contemplation

#234 Shared World of Deep Meaning AND Multiculturalism

     Based on our experience in fifteen 8-week MBSR workshops, with attendees from a wide range of cultures, ages, and educational backgrounds, it's abundantly clear that mindfulness welcomes all to meet in a "shared world" of deep meaning. Mindfulness may well be the Esperanto - the common language - of deeply meaningful connection. As human beings we're all wounded, in need of healing from each other; AND we're all healers through listening deeply, being fully with each other.
     Anything less than such a deep human-to-human connection (see quote below), is a barrier to meaningful communication between individuals, cultures, religions etc (eg doctor-patient, peace talks).

     "Most analyses of traditional healing systems involve situations in which patients and healers share a similar cultural background. In multicultural societies, sufferer and healer may live in different local worlds and may not share the same notions of the roles of patient and healer, the appropriate place and time for healing, the meaning of symbolic acts, and the expected outcome. Where a shared world cannot be assumed, patient and healer must go through prolonged negotiation to define the parameters of an effective clinical encounter. Even when patient and healer find common ground, their co-constructed understandings of illness and healing may run into conflict with larger institutional contexts and the social world. The clinical encounter is embedded in social structures, which may give it unintended meanings and consequences."
       Kirmayer LJ. Asklepian dreams: the ethos of the wounded-healer in the clinical encounter. Transcult Psychiatry 2003; 40(2): 248-77.

Paul Hannon   http://paulhannon.com/