It takes maturity, courage, self-reflection, self-compassion and honesty to admit and clearly see our own limitations - our "shadow" - and work with these consciously, constructively. This is rare in today's society. Instead, we tend to 'act out' our shadow - foolish behavior is frighteningly common. It's spawned an endless stream of situation comedies and reality shows about hoarders, morbidly obese, terrible home repairs, an endless array of stunts that end badly, etc etc.
Haven't we beaten our puer aeternus phase to death? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puer_aeternus Isn't it time to celebrate & promote the noble process of intentional maturation?
"shame is ... the fear of disconnection: Is there something about me that, if other people know it or see it, that I won't be worthy of connection?
Shame is universal; we all have it. The only people who don't experience shame have no capacity for human empathy or connection.
No one wants to talk about it, and the less you talk about it the more you have it. What underpins this shame, this "I'm not good enough, ... not thin enough, rich enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, promoted enough"?
The thing that underpins this is excruciating vulnerability, this idea of, in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen." Brene Brown PhD
Brown B. "Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead." Gotham Books, NY, 2012. http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability#t-153143
How do I relate to my breath? When we start mindfulness practice, focusing on the feel of our own breath can evoke anxiety, rather than the hoped for sense of peace. Gradually, we learn to "surf" or "ride the breath" - a kind of balancing act on top of a constantly moving, flowing, ball of breathing energy.
Likewise, how do I relate to all other manifestations of constant change - directly to liminality itself? Every fraction of second we're in the now - straddling the past and future. We're not quite sure what just happened, and we sure don't know what's about to happen! Can we learn to surf liminality? Can we learn to ride uncertainty's raw energy? It's the only way to transcend constant anxiety!
Such a direct, intentional, curious, nonjudgmental, playful engagement with / surfing on / flowing with the energy of liminality itself seems to be the ultimate basis for dismantling anxiety.
Anxiety is ineffective striving to avoid challenges - fearful avoidance.
Mindfulness is brave, competent "leaning into" life-as-it is, difficulties & all - lovingly embracing life. I'm not aware of a better alternative.
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| Bess - Dec 19, 2014 |
