#764 Awareness and Suffering

     “A psychiatrist told this story: 

     ‘I was interning at a hospital and working with a very depressed young man. Certainly drug therapy was called for, but I wanted to try something else before prescribing pills. I listened attentively to his story. He was very good at detailing his depression and spoke clearly, with a level of understanding that suggested he had been in therapy before, which he had.
     When he finished speaking, I said, ‘Is the person telling me this story of depression himself depressed?’

     The young man just stared at me.

     ‘Think about your depression, and then notice if the you that is thinking about your depression is also depressed.’

     He closed his eyes and sought an honest answer to my question.
     ‘No,’ he said. ‘He’s not.’

     ‘He’s not? Who is he?’

     ‘Me,’ he said, ‘I’m not. I mean the me that was telling you about my depression wasn’t depressed, but was just telling you about another me that was, that is, depressed.’

     ‘Great,’ I said. ‘Let’s use the you who isn’t depressed to help the you who is depressed.’

     His eyes grew wide, and he smiled with a mixture of surprise and joy. He was ready to get well.

… The ‘I’ that notices sadness or depression is not sad or depressed; the ‘I’ that notices joy or guilt, hunger or lust, isn’t actually feeling any of these states. This ‘I’ is witnessing everything but isn’t caught up in anything.”
       Rami Shapiro. “Perennial Wisdom for the Spiritually Independent. Sacred Teachings – Annotated & Explained.” SkyLight Paths, 2013.


      “Awareness and meditation are, for me, fundamental to the deep change that is necessary for healing. Chronic illness is a way of life as well as, perhaps even more than, a disease entity. Before we can be free of the symptoms of illness and the role of the sick person, we need to know what has precipitated those symptoms, and how we are responding to our sickness. We need to recognize in our own lives the psychological, biological, and sociological factors that may affect our health.
      Awareness allows us to see where we are; to stand for a moment outside ourselves; to appreciate in a powerful, personal way, how the world around us affects us; to observe the thoughts, feelings, and sensations that arise in us. Meditation is a state of moment-to-moment awareness that over time may help to dissolve physical symptoms and habitual ways of thinking and acting. Both awareness and meditation enable us to experience the way our mind may limit or free us. Together they prepare us to use our mind to make the deep changes in thought, feeling, and action that are necessary for our healing.” James S. Gordon MD
        McCabe Ruf, K, Mackenzie ER. "The Role of Mindfulness in Healthcare Reform: A Policy Paper." Explore (NY) 2009; 5(6): 313-23. 

     “Because noting states of mind as they arise keep us present, it allows us to meet difficulties at their inception – before they become more real than we are."
       Stephen Levine, “A Year to Live: How to Live This Year as if it Were Your Last.” 

     “The only service you can do for anyone (including yourself) is to remind them of their true nature.” Stephen Levine

#756 How and Who am I - Right Now? and Now? and Now?

     It's critical to keep tabs on ourself - often. Why? Because we drift & get lost - a LOT!

     "… studies on attentiveness show that people are only briefly & unpredictably attentive. Attention habitually diverts to unrelated thoughts & feelings, leaving any task at hand to be managed 'on autopilot.' These studies suggest that mindlessness ('mind wandering,' 'zoning out,' 'task-unrelated thought') is 'one of the most ubiquitous & pervasive of all cognitive phenomena' and that it often occurs unintentionally, without awareness, occupies a substantial proportion of our day, and leads to failures in task performance." Lovas JG, Lovas DA, Lovas PM. Mindfulness and Professionalism in Dentistry. J Dent Educ 2008; 72(9): 998-1009.
     And that doesn't even mention wallowing & catastrophizing - our addiction to the re-runs of the never-ending-story-of-me!

     So, CHECK IN - often & regularly: 

1. Where am I physically - right here & now?
This is to actually "land" from thought-world, to reality. 

2. How am I feeling - Stressed or Peaceful?
If stressed, is this beneficial (functional) in any way, or just conditioning? If your current situation is more appropriately handled peacefully (almost always), can I accept & gently release stress with self-compassion?

3. Can I shift into Authenticity?
Of course you can, no question. As soon as you let go of being stress - not feeling or having stress, but stress-as-an-identity - you return to being authenticity. Authenticity - who you are & have always been - is still, silent, at peace, and spacious enough to hold any & all of life's challenges, including your young frightened part ("poor,  hurt, needy me"), with unshakable equanimity & grace.
     This young part is a very small, temporary part, that reflects the effects of traumas & conditioning. It's nowhere near your actual identity, which is inconceivably vast. Don't take your young part so personally, so seriously! Hold it lovingly BUT lightly. Your authenticity is vast, fluid & completely untouched by life's inevitable ups & downs: gain & loss, status & disgrace, censure & praise, pleasure & pain. 
     Your authenticity can be compared to a wise, loving, nurturing grandparent or wise elder. Your young part can be compared to a three-year-old grandchild. The two have vastly different depths, scopes & capacities.  
     Who you really are is spacious enough to easily hold your young, beat-up part in safety & unconditional love. BE authenticity.

     “Inner peace doesn't come from getting what we want, but from remembering who we are.” Marianne Williamson

 

#740 Goals, Failures & Paradox

"Nothing to do,

Nowhere to go,

No one to be."

     What a perplexing koan, riddle - or - statement of fact? It sure sounds like a corrective for us goal-oriented workaholics, anxiously struggling with time-poverty, low self-esteem, etc. Below Jon Kabat-Zinn clearly expands on this theme:

     “The goal of mindfulness practice, if there can be said to be a goal at all (since the practice emphasizes non-duality and therefore non-striving) is simply to experience what is present from moment to moment. Thus, emotional reactivity, and the full range of emotional states available to human beings are as much a valid domain of meditative experience as experiences of calm or relaxation. 
     The cultivation of mindfulness is an arduous challenge, in which one learns to face and work with the full range of emotions and mind states. Frequently, relaxation in the way it is usually formulated, would be an entirely inappropriate response to human situations and problems. If it is offered as the ‘solution’ or the heart of a meditative approach to stress reduction, it will introduce inevitable conflict because of its emphasis on a desirable endstate to be achieved. If one one fails to experience or ‘achieve’ relaxation, then one has failed, and the practitioner has either to conclude that she herself is somehow inadequate, or that the technique is lacking. In either case, there has been a thwarting of one’s goals and expectations which can lead to a sense of inadequacy and an arrested trajectory of development. 

     In contrast, it is impossible to ‘fail’ at mindfulness if one is willing to bring whatever it is that one is experiencing into the field of awareness. One does not have to do anything at all, or achieve a particular state in mindfulness practice. We sometimes tell our patients, in the spirit of the paradoxical nature of the non-dualistic approach, that ‘we will teach you how to be so relaxed that it is OK to be tense.’ ”  
       Jon Kabat-Zinn. “Mindfulness Meditation. What It Is, What It Isn’t, and Its Role in Health Care and Medicine.” Chapter 12 in: Ishii Y, Suzuki M, Haruki Y, eds. “Comparative and Psychological Study on Meditation.” Eburon, 2007.

Courtesy of Buddha Doodles www.buddhadoodles.com

#737 Prolific Conceptualisation

     Most of us are well aware of our tendency to "go off on a tangent", while thinking, speaking, or looking something up on the internet. We start off on one specific topic, and before we know it, quite unintentionally, we're way, way off on a totally unrelated topic and may not even remember what we started with. Especially problematic forms of "thought proliferation" play central roles in depression (wallowing) and anxiety (catastrophization). But since we all seem to do "normal" thought proliferation, we mistakenly assume that it's harmless. 

     Buddhist psychology considers our tendency to spin off into the past, future, or sideways - away from present-moment reality - a central cause of suffering.
     "The vicious proliferating tendency of the worldling's consciousness weaves for him a labyrinthine network of concepts connecting the three periods of time through processes of recognition, retrospection and speculation. The tangled maze with its apparent objectivity entices the worldling and ultimately obsesses and overwhelms him."
     Bhikkhu Kantukurunde Nanananda. "Concept and Reality in Early Buddhist Thought. An Essay on Papanca and Papanca-Sanna-Sankha." Buddhist Publication Society, 1971. www.seeingthroughthenet.net

     In meditation practice we clearly see when we're overthinking things, we let thoughts go, and remain continuously grounded in reality, directly experiencing (without words & concepts interposed) moment-by-moment, the ever-changing present moment.

Some activities hold our complete attention!

#736 Words, Concepts, Definitions ... Limits of Language

     When we directly engage with reality, there is wonder, gratitude, silence, stillness, timelessness, peace, and joy. We all know & love this as an aspect of consciousness, yet don't experience it nearly often enough. And when we do experience it, we may inadvertently start talking to ourselves or to others to describe it, to "capture it" in words - which immediately ends the transcendent experience. Words can indeed get in the way!
     Though we crank out far too many words (rather than listening attentively), we do sometimes need to say something. Here's an interesting discussion about the great difficulty of capturing complex, important concepts (such as wisdom) using words, word-based concepts & definitions:

     "Philosophers have debated definitional issues for centuries, and even today lament that, in the words of the Encyclopedia of Philosophy, 'The problems of definition are constantly recurring ... no problems of knowledge are less settled than those of definition ...' In fact the French philosopher Jacques Derrida argued that 'nearly every term is an aporia' (an irreducible puzzle) that 'admits of no settled solution or clear resolution.'
     Eastern philosophies agree. One of the central themes of Buddhist Madhyamika philosophy is that all phenomena are shunyata: a difficult term to translate, but implying that all phenomena are inherently transconceptual. Likewise Radhakrishnan, one of India’s greatest philosophers and also its second president, pointed to 'the inadequacy of all intellectual categories ...” Lao Tzu, the founder of Taoism, put it poetically:

          Existence is beyond the power of words to define:
          Terms may be used but none of them are absolute.

     So defining wisdom, or anything else for that matter, turns out to be a deep linguistic challenge. We cannot expect absolute certainty or agreement from our terms nor from our definitions. However, we can try to use them carefully and skillfully, remembering that, as the philosopher Huston Smith put it, 'all human thought proceeds from words. As long as words are askew, thought cannot be straight.' "
       Roger Walsh. "What is Wisdom? Cross-cultural and Cross-disciplinary Synthesis." Review of General Psychology 19(3); 278-293: 2015.

Pinterest

 

#735 Open Awareness Meditation Instruction

     "... throw out the thought 'I am meditating' and just be awake, with no trying, no agenda, no ideas, even about what it should look like or feel like or where your attention should be alighting … to simply be awake to what is in this very moment without adornment or commentary.
     Such wakefulness is not so easy to taste at first unless you are really in your beginner’s mind, but it is an important dimension of meditation to know about from the very beginning, even if the experience of such open, spacious, choice-free awareness feels elusive in any particular moment. 
     Because we need to get simpler, not more complicated, it is hard for us at first to get out of our own way enough to taste this totally available sense of non-doing, of simply resting in being with no agenda, but fully awake." 
       Jon Kabat-Zinn https://www.eomega.org/article/take-a-stand-in-your-life-by-sitting-down-to-meditate?source=ePromo.OM.FM 

Deep Contemplation

#734 Mindfulness Components

     Using words to express the extremely complex, constantly evolving, direct experience of Mindfulness is not possible, yet has to be attempted (as an "operational definition"), when studying it scientifically.

     Below, a few scientific snapshots of Mindfulness from the paper by Anka A. Vujanovic et al. "Mindfulness in the Treatment of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder Among Military Veterans." Professional Psychology: Research and Practice 2011; 42(1): 24-31. DOI: 10.1037/a0022272

Definition:
     Mindfulness is about bringing an attitude of curiosity and compassion to present experience.

What Is Mindfulness?
      Mindfulness is most commonly conceptualized as involving two key components: 

     (1) intentional regulation of attention to and awareness of the present moment, and 

     (2) nonjudgmental acceptance of the ongoing flow of sensations, thoughts, and/or emotional states. 

     Awareness is cultivated through intentional regulation of attention to present experience. While attending to the present, mindfulness also entails a stance of acceptance, or willingness to experience the array of one’s thoughts and emotions without judgment. Awareness of one’s present-centered experience might be considered a necessary first step toward nonjudgmental acceptance of that experience. 

#730 Excellence: Loving Awareness, Gratitude & Self-reflection

     Perhaps the most common misunderstanding about mindfulness is that it doesn't work in the "real world" (of competing, adversarial egos). Our ego insists, not surprisingly, that the only way to "win" is by being self-centered (noisy ego, egocentric), on autopilot (fear-based reactivity, brain stem), and ignoring our mind-heart (prefrontal cortex).
     But as we gradually mature with age, or are forced to rapidly mature (see Post-traumatic Growth: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=post-traumatic+growth) we directly experience the truth that the only real success is authenticity. And authenticity is what's left after all our conditioned defensive & offensive reactivity drops off. 
     Let's see how Lionel made out with authenticity in the "real world":

     Lionel Sanders of Windsor, Ontario, overcomes addiction & sets a new world record in perhaps the most challenging of human sporting events - the Ironman Competition, completing the grueling triathlon in 7 hours, 44 minutes, 32 seconds.
     Carol Off: It's just an absolutely remarkable story in every way — including how you got into it. Can you give your secret? What do you have to do? What do you have to have in your psyche and in your body in order to do this?
     Lionel Sanders: Sure. I think the biggest thing has been that I really try and cultivate love for what I am doing and a passion for what I'm doing. And the day-to-day training, I don't dread it. I love every minute of it. And it wasn't always that way, you know. But I always try and put into perspective of just how much of a privilege this is — just to have the use of your body. So I always cultivate that. And that brings a certain level of awareness and presence to my day-to-day training, which allows me to push my limits. And then as well, I would say the other thing is after every race, I try and look at it objectively — the bad ones in particular — and I try figure out a way to correct all the things I did wrong. And I do that after every single race, and I'll do that after this race as well. And there was still lots of things that I could improve upon for the next time around.

     CBC Radio's As It Happens, interview by Carol Off: http://www.cbc.ca/radio/asithappens/as-it-happens-tuesday-edition-1.3861211/ontario-s-lionel-sanders-overcomes-addiction-sets-new-ironman-world-record-1.3861212

Courtesy of Lionel Sanders

#727 Which Mode to Choose?

     Our minds operate, and thus we live, predominantly, in one of two very distinct modes.
     Conditioned mode:
Based on the capacities we inherit (DNA) and the influences of our environment, we learn a set of reaction patterns that favor our (DNA's / progeny's) survival. This is basic conditioning shared by all animals - like training rats in a cage. This set of reaction patterns is who we assume we are most of the time - our identity! It feels easy, automatic / autopilot, "natural", "don't rock the boat", trance-like. It's one more-or-less continuous, uninterrupted "story of me". We (and others) do gradually start seeing how predictable we are. So this approach to life does increasingly become repetitious, boring, almost claustrophobic.
     Awake awareness mode:
Sporadically, spontaneously, we sometimes feel very bright, alert, we sense everything much more clearly, are speechless (wordless), feel a sense of awe, gratitude, and feel amazingly alive. This silent, brightly alert, deeply peaceful sense can also be felt witnessing nature, a loved one (human or pet), hearing or reading poetry, wisdom literature, music, etc. This quality of awareness / life can be intentionally cultivated through, and experienced during meditation. What is awake awareness? Who are we?

     During the day, we can learn to regularly notice which mode we're in. We learn to increasingly choose awake awareness - to see with fresh eyes, think fresh creative thoughts, behave in fresh healthier ways. http://www.johnlovas.com/2016/07/fresh-opportunities-many-times-per.html
     Returning to the land of the walking dead (conditioned mode) is less and less palatable.

#721 Innate Capacity "Bigger" than Thinking

     "Basically, when we are talking about mindfulness, we are talking about awareness - pure awareness. It is an innate human capacity that is different from thinking but wholly complementary to it. It is also "bigger" than thinking, because any thought, no matter how momentous or profound, illuminating or destructive, can be held in awareness, and thus looked at, known, and understood in a multiplicity of ways which may provide new degrees of insight and fresh perspectives for dealing with old problems and emergent challenges, whether individual, societal, or global. Awareness in its purest form, or mindfulness, thus has the potential to add value and new degrees of freedom to living life fully and wisely and, thus, to making wiser and healthier, more compassionate and altruistic choices - in the only moment that any of us ever has for tapping our deep interior resources for imagination and creativity, for learning, growing, and healing, and in the end, for transformation, going beyond the limitations of our presently understood models of who we are as human beings and individual citizens, as communities and societies, as nations, and as a species."
       Jon Kabat-Zinn PhD, Mindful Nation UK

Anna Syperek - "Buddy’s Point"  fogforestgallery.ca

#718 How Can We Best Let Go near Life's End?

     How can we let go of clinging to life, near the end of life?

     “Be happy in every moment. … You don’t need to change anything. Let everything happen just as it comes. Just flow with it. It’s the process; everything dissolves into you, so change with whatever happens.” 


      “What practice makes it easier to let go of this life?”

      “The best practice, is calm abiding. Remain with the breath. Develop calmness inside. Join awareness and the breath. Trusting these. Trusting the knowing. Trusting the calmness. Not pushing yourself to make any changes. And not paying attention to what others say about it.” 
            Khandro Rimpoche in: Olivia Ames Hoblitzelle. “Ten Thousand Joys & Ten Thousand Sorrows. A Couple’s Journey through Alzheimer’s.” Penguin, NY, 2008.



     “If you accept life and death without any conditions, your life will become supple instead of rigid. You will not create strife."
            Katagiri D. “You have to say something. Manifesting Zen insight.” Shambhala, Boston, 1998.  

 

#715 A Quick Introduction to Mindfulness

     Jon Kabat-Zinn PhD, originator (in 1979) of the now immensely popular Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program, presents the helpful brief (12min) introductory video below.

     Key suggestions:
               • Practicing just for fun, out of curiosity. 
                          Not to get anywhere, or become anything eg more relaxed, a great meditator etc. 
                          Not to solve some problems you're having.
               • Simply holding this moment in awareness
               • Maintaining a still, dignified posture
               • "Meeting this moment in it's fullness with alertness"
               • Seeing if we can feel the breath (instead of think about it)
                          Seeing if you can surf on the sensations of the breath coming in & out of the body, moment by moment by moment
                          Letting everything else going on in the mind, in the room - sounds, everything, just be in the wings. Not suppressing anything, just featuring the breath.
                          Letting the breath take center stage in the field of awareness, as if your life depended on it, which of course it does, in more ways than you may think.


     See also the superb brief intro to "awareness": http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/04/113-excellent-introduction-to.html 

#713 Acceptance of Circumstances - Outer & Inner

     “the painful aspects of life, the really hard times … That’s the stuff you work with. … It may seem like the outer circumstances are the problem, but the challenge is actually what they bring up in you – the inner experiences of anguish or sorrow or suffering that they provoke or trigger in you.
     I don’t feel self-loathing and those kinds of intense emotions anymore, but I sure remember what they feel like. I know that the single most important thing for people today is the extent to which they feel really bad about themselves. I have a passion for finding a way of talking about this that can help people make friends with themselves. That requires a deep acceptance of yourself and learning how to accept things inside you that are considered unacceptable.
     Usually we spend our whole lives trying to avoid feeling that ‘there’s something fundamentally wrong with me.’ The view I’m coming from is that we’re actually complete and whole, and there is nothing fundamentally wrong with us. In fact, we are fundamentally good, and we can connect with that goodness. We can move closer to accepting and honoring all parts of ourselves, while knowing that almost everybody shares those bad feelings about themselves. This is just what it’s like to be human.”                          Pema Chodron

        “Connect with the Best of Yourself – An Evening with Pema Chodron and k.d. lang.” Shambhala Sun, September 2015 

#702 The Best Defense is ... What?

     The idea that the best defense is a strong offense might explain some peoples' apparent unprovoked aggressiveness. They seem to be yelling: "Don't mess with me, I'm bad!" Maybe fear cowers behind facades of aggressive posturing. And don't we all, to a lesser degree, at least think, and perhaps speak with some hostility?
     So why is there so much defensiveness? Would there be any if we had all received perfect unconditional love from day one? Perhaps behavior is conditioned by all - remembered & forgotten - past experiences. So maybe nothing is completely unprovoked - the present situation may just be stirring up an old wound.
     For me, the most impressive individual is authentic, open and decent. Such (rare) people have dropped their offensive-defensiveness ball & chain. They're able to simply connect directly - one human being to another. I suspect they began with self-observation & self-acceptance, which then spread to acceptance of others. Awareness & acceptance nurtures unconditional love, authenticity & peace.

#699 Humility & Mindfulness

     "Some people think that humility is thinking lowly of yourself; some people think it's not thinking about yourself. 
     But to me, the best definition of humility is radical self-awareness from a distance. Seeing yourself from a distance, and saying 'What's my problem?'.  ...
     Success is earned externally, by being better than other people.
     Character - that unfakeable goodness - is earned by being better than you used to be."

       from David Brooks' interview (below) by Judy Woodruff, about his new book: "The Road to Character." Random House, NY, 2015.

#693 Wisdom via Mindfulness

     "In the development of wisdom, one quality of mind above all others is the key to practice. This quality is mindfulness, attention, or self-recollection. The most direct way to understand our life situation, who we are, and how our mind and body operate, is to observe with a mind that simply notices all events equally. This attitude of non-judgemental, direct observation allows all events to occur in a natural way. By keeping the attention in the present moment, we can see more and more clearly the true characteristics of our mind and body process. "                                       Jack Kornfield

WisdomAtWork.com

#691 Engaging Life

"The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell - don't go back to sleep,
You have to ask for what you really want - don't go back to sleep.
You know, there are those who go back and forth over the threshold
where the two worlds meet, and the door it's always open
and it's round -
don't go back to sleep."

Rumi

WisdomAtWork.com

#689 Two Basic Modes of Being

     Is it possible that we can sense two basic modes of being in this world?
     In one, we take a very broad mature perspective on things, not just horizontally - as things are right now for us & everyone & everything else in the world, but also vertically - taking the past & future into account.
     In the other, we have a very young, narrow, self-centered perspective - fearful, exclusively-about-poor-me.
     The first perspective, does include ourselves - but in a balanced, rational relationship to the whole! 
     The second, is completely egocentric. Totally ignoring our human & non-human ecology - the home which gives life to & sustains our very being - is unsustainable & makes no sense, like thrashing one's home during a "party".

     Can we learn to FEEL which of these two states of being we're inhabiting? 
     Can we keep choosing to embody the one that FEELS healthier?

North Street, Halifax, NS

#686 On Listening

     “In the city, there are so many loud noises, and here in the country we have church bells. Church bells and this silence. It’s the most important thing: Learn to listen to this silence, because it will tell you many things, unimaginable things, things of great beauty and meaning.”                                 Ambrosio Molinos de las Heras

        Michael Paterniti “The Telling Room. A Tale of Love, Betrayal, Revenge, and the World’s Greatest Piece of Cheese.” The Dial Press, NY, 2013 



     “Nothing has changed the nature of man so much as the loss of silence.”                           Max Picard, Swiss philosopher

       Dana Sawyer “Huston Smith: Wisdomkeeper. Living the World’s Religions. The Authorized Biography of a 21st Century Spiritual Giant.” Fons Vitae, Louisville, KY, 2014.

Public Gardens, Halifax, NS

#683 Mindful Awareness - So Much More

     What do these words really mean? Obviously not daydreaming while performing activities requiring careful attention.
     But aren't there surprising similarities between the type of attention it takes to rob a bank, perform intricate surgery, watch a fascinating movie, yell at someone in a fit of anger? Could a fairly young person muster this type of attention? How about certain animals? Have you seen how quickly a crow can custom-design a simple tool? So there must be far more to mindfulness than focused attention. 
     Learning to stabilize attention on the flowing, changing content of the present moment is an important, but partial aspect. It helps us to let go of clinging to the past, the future, to stuff that never was & never will be. But replacing all that with clinging to the present doesn't help much! Everything in the present is also temporary, fleeting, can't be held onto, nor identified with - this is simply the way reality is.
     As we abandon our delusions & wishful thinking, our attention shifts from self-obsession to an open-hearted embrace of the big picture - everyone & everything - the flow of present-moment reality. And everything changes, both gradually and all-at-once.

The Biscuit Eater, Mahone Bay, NS