#728 Who's the busiest, most stressed-out, most exhausted?

     Don't we want to be talked about with admiration: "Oh, she's SO busy!" How many of us are workaholics, with tremendous drive & stamina, mostly wasted on busy-ness, spinning our wheels, trying to prove to ourselves & others how hard we work, how important & indispensable we are?

          “Do not confuse motion and progress.
          A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress."            Alfred A. Montapert 

 
     Then there's "non-doing" - the sense of rightness & effortlessness, arising from authenticity & congruence. It happens when behavior is skillful, decreasing suffering & increasing happiness long-term for oneself & others. There's no inner conflict, friction or noise, only silence, stillness, peace. The ego is quiet, allo- & ecocentric (rather than egocentric). Centeredness.

 

Fall in Halifax

#719 What's Our First Priority? And How's That Working?

     Automatically, reflexively, by default, we "look out for #1" - "me, myself & I" - we're self-centered. We're primarily concerned with our own safety, nutrition, shelter, health, wealth, power, prestige, fame, etc, etc, all of which, we assume (hope), means our personal happiness will be more or less assured. And there's nothing wrong about wanting to be happy - it's perfectly normal & reasonable.
     Many of us behave as if our happiness will increase in proportion to our health, wealth, power, fame, and the opulence of our clothes, homes, cars, vacations etc. But research shows that above a certain surprisingly modest family income, which permits having reasonable basic necessities, there's NO gain in happiness or quality of life with increasing wealth. I see parallels with ethanol consumption - a drink or two may feel good; being drunk does not; while alcoholism is heading for "rock bottom".
     Doesn't the phrase "Looking for love in all the wrong places" somehow resonate? If we're at all self-reflective, we'll notice a hunger or yearning that we can't seem to satisfy for any length of time, no matter what. Smart, young, energetic university students often seem certain that they control their own futures. Ahhh, the sweet illusion of control! However, as the decades flow by, we repeatedly see just how little control we have over our own & our loved ones' lives.
     The healthiest, most intelligent approach to transcending this hunger or yearning is found by discovering our true identity - who we really are. Wisdom traditions have known this for thousands of years: http://jglovas.wix.com/awarenessnow#!The-Real-Voyage-of-Discovery-New-Eyes/c17jj/56afc4e40cf2062bd412b06e

#689 Two Basic Modes of Being

     Is it possible that we can sense two basic modes of being in this world?
     In one, we take a very broad mature perspective on things, not just horizontally - as things are right now for us & everyone & everything else in the world, but also vertically - taking the past & future into account.
     In the other, we have a very young, narrow, self-centered perspective - fearful, exclusively-about-poor-me.
     The first perspective, does include ourselves - but in a balanced, rational relationship to the whole! 
     The second, is completely egocentric. Totally ignoring our human & non-human ecology - the home which gives life to & sustains our very being - is unsustainable & makes no sense, like thrashing one's home during a "party".

     Can we learn to FEEL which of these two states of being we're inhabiting? 
     Can we keep choosing to embody the one that FEELS healthier?

North Street, Halifax, NS

#681 Enlightened Self-Interest?

     We waste an inordinate amount of our time, energy, and far more than our share of the world's resources, in a desperate, futile attempt to make ourselves happy. Being self-centered at the expense of others & the environment is primitive, simple-minded self-interest. It's very easy to see how foolish this is within a small family, but it takes some wisdom to see its global impact - hence our present-day global meltdown.
     As we progress in our mindfulness practice we gradually become wiser. It becomes progressively more clear that self-concern is not only addictive, but like all other addictions, fails miserably to bring about our happiness. On the contrary, selfishness brings us, and all those around us, suffering. 
     Self-centeredness is a miserable burden, yet, like any addiction, difficult to let go of when it becomes our identity. And self-centeredness is our human default, brain-stem-based, way of dealing with life! Mercifully, a part of our makeup also holds unimaginable potential. One can think of enlightenment as our life journey or path from being a spoiled-rotten kid to a wise loving grandparent.
     The path is rocky, with ups, downs, detours, but with patient, intelligent, persistent mindfulness practice, we absolutely will prevail. And as we pay more & more attention to doing what's right & best for the common good, we realize that we ourselves naturally become more deeply happy, peaceful & content in the process. This is sometimes referred to as "enlightened self-interest" - dropping self-centeredness is, paradoxically, key to one's own happiness.

Montseratt Cemetery, Paris

     

#680 Give & Take - More or Less?

     After a business transaction that didn't "go your way", or perhaps someone belittled you, you can actually feel diminished in some way - less than your normal sense of self. A surge of anger too often obliterates more subtle feelings. A swell of urgency to quickly repair perceived losses. We instinctively rush to top up life's vitality glass, which like our blood volume, definitely doesn't feel good enough at half-full.
     Conversely, you feel somehow bigger, expanded, "flush" when you unexpectedly or undeservedly come by some extra money, praise, or stuff. Doesn't it feel, if only momentarily, like you've transcended mere human limitations when you win something? Losing something has the opposite effect - makes you feel very vulnerable.

     So it seems that we have a rather solid, physical, materialistic, almost mechanical sense of ourselves, others & our world. Is an 8 foot tall person worth twice that of a 4 footer; a 350 lb person twice that of a 175 pounder? How about net worth, fame, attractiveness, earning potential, health, longevity, etc? Don't we rate everyone, including ourselves, based on a combination of such metrics?
     Isn't each of us far, far more than a handful of such useless measures? Doesn't it take a lifetime of meditation practice to catch ourselves judging - ourselves & others - much like an animal sizes up a potential mate or potential prey? Isn't this where our primitive judgmental attitudes originate? We're "little monkeys" aren't we? We really do need to slowly, patiently, evolve into our pre-frontal cortices, don't we?

Paint & Rust, Agricola Street, Halifax, NS

#679 How We Keep Pulling Away from Life

     Very few of us, even if actively trying, can consistently embrace life with an open heart-mind. Why not? 

     We can see the reasons most clearly during sitting meditation. Self-talk, self-comfort, self-preservation, self-promotion - we incessantly, continuously obsess over "me, myself & I", despite the fact that doing so actually guarantees suffering. We observe this most clearly during meditation, but it's something we do all the time!
     Egocentricity, though extremely common, is pathological and unwise, because it does not bring us happiness; nor will it keep us living forever, so we must learn to release this obsessive-compulsive death-grip on the "self"!

     Opening our heart-mind towards the welfare & genuine happiness of others (allocentric), animals, & the environment (ecocentric) is wise, because it does bring everyone, including ourselves, genuine happiness and a meaningful life.

Monet's flowers

#673 Forced to Care about Others, the Big Picture

     "When China burns coal, that pollution doesn't just stay above Chinese skies, nor does nuclear radioactivity from Fukushima stay only in Japanese coastal waters. The same is true generally for humankind and the rest of the natural world: when the ecosystems of the earth become sick, we become sick. In short, the ecological crisis is also a spiritual*** crisis: we are challenged to realize our interdependence - our larger 'self' - or else. What the earth seems to be telling us is Wake up or get out of the way."
       David Loy. "Awakening in the Age of Climate Change." Tricycle, Spring 2015.                               ww.tricycle.com


     *** "spirituality ... ‘the personal quest for understanding answers to ultimate questions about life, about meaning, and about relationship to the sacred or transcendent’."
       Greeson JM et al. "Changes in spirituality partly explain health-related quality of life outcomes after Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction." J Behav Med 2011; 34(6): 508-18.

     Atheists also recognize the critical role of spirituality - see:
       Sam Harris. "Waking Up. A Guide to Spirituality without Religion." Simon & Schuster, 2014.

#656 Suffering - Results Guaranteed

     “We can guarantee ourselves suffering when we cling to a desire for things to be different than they are. We can practically define suffering by saying that it is clinging to that desire. 
      Things are not different than they are. They are as they are.

      Wanting things to change is not the same as putting out the effort and determination to bring about change.”

        The author and his wife barely survived a fiery plane crash, and underwent a long, painful period of rehabilitation for extensive burns and other injuries. He wrote the book “Through the Flames” chronicling their journey. 
       Allan Lokos “The Miraculous Body” Shambhala Sun, May 2015.

studio11photography.blogspot.com

#649 A Sudden Hunger, and then ...

     We often feel a tad over-extended; just outside our comfort zone; just short of coping - in a word, stressed. Nothing major needs to trigger this: our sleeve gets snagged, yanking us back when we're trying to "get ahead"; an inexplicable pain appears; even a brief period with nothing going on, so we're "bored". And sometimes it's not at all clear why we feel "off" or "out of sorts".
     Basically, when we sense that nothing's stoking our fire, we get scared! Will our fire go out? Yes, but please, not now! We start to see that our sense of self (ego) is like an idol that crumbles unless continuously propped-up with positive strokes. We foolishly depend on the solidity of this imaginary idol to feel relatively up, unafraid, oriented, peaceful.
     And how do we typically respond when the idol fails to be catered to by other people and circumstances? A visceral hunger arises - as if our energy were suddenly critically depleted. Annoyance / irritability / anger (born out of fear if we really look closely) may suddenly arise to energize us to bulldoze past life's speed bumps. Then we "get busy", with anything - any distraction will do - the most potent being addictions: junk food, caffeine, prescription meds, busy-work, smartphones, cigarettes, mindless fun, etc!

     Since life does NOT revolve around me (or you), it's actually normal for our individual egos to get random shares of positive, neutral & negative strokes. Though it's not at all personal, we often react as if it were.
     So for practical purposes ie sanity & quality of life, we need to work on letting go of such self-centeredness. If life does not in fact revolve around me, then I should learn to fully accept that, and not take anything personally. Sometimes the sun shines, sometimes the weather's ugly, & sometimes the climate is bland. There's nothing whatsoever personal, when we're getting soaked by rain, beautifully suntanned, or fried by a lightning bolt! 
     A wise meditation teacher once advised: "Only have no preferences!" Of course we usually do have preferences, but what if we hold these very lightly, in a huge container, and seamlessly accept the fact that things mostly turn out differently than we'd like, or even expect! Can we simply be curious, rather than desperately hope that "luck" is "on our side"? Whether we're "lucky" OR "unlucky" this time, does it say anything at all about next time? So perhaps we're not "special" regardless?

     The journey from egocentricity toward allocentricity is the ancient, well-travelled hero's journey towards wisdom and mature happiness.

#634 Personal Quality of Life - Professionalism - Citizenship

     We can all agree that every one of us is very interested & highly motivated to have & enjoy maximal personal health & quality of life. What constitutes professional behavior & good citizenship, and how best to promote these is more controversial & challenging.
     Yet I've come to understand that an individual's attention to self-care & wellness, their professionalism, good citizenship overlap greatly. From the other direction, I suggest that it's not possible (except perhaps for sociopaths) to enjoy optimal health while behaving unethically. If someone commits a horrific crime, chances are s/he will be found criminally insane (innocent by virtue of insanity). But I suggest that anything short of consistent prosocial, civilized, allocentric / ecocentric behavior is unhealthy - creates needless additional suffering - for the individual "actor" and society. Individuals (except sociopaths) are an integral part of society and nature - whatever benefits or harms one, has the identical effect on the other.
     So progressive maximal personal evolution of consciousness, fully integrated into one’s life, is the path to maximal health & well-being for oneself (wellness), one's profession (professionalism) and society at large (good citizenship).
     Teaching self-care - at the deepest level eg via mindfulness (MBSR) - is I suggest, a highly effective way of teaching professionalism and good citizenship in our multicultural, multi-faith, multi-ethnic society. Our world is literally dying for these qualities.

#614 Clarity & Noise

     Gradually each of us learns to clearly distinguish direct perception of what is real from habitual, self-centered mind-noise.
     Releasing the superfluous, and open heart-mindedly following what is true is inevitable. May we not waste precious time.
 

#613 Nothing Personal

     We tend to "take it personally" when people treat us in uncaring, nasty, or cruel ways. I've felt this many, many times in my life. Yet, the fact is that I play an insignificantly tiny part in most of these people's lives. How they behave, has little to do with me, and almost everything to do with the rest of their lives, past and present. So taking their behavior personally is actually a bit egocentric. The world does not revolve around me. Things happen for innumerable, complex, interrelated reasons, of which I'm a very tiny part. 

     So what should I concentrate on if not my feelings, my comfort, my wishes, my needs, my security, my convenience, my ...?

     "Be kind, for everyone is carrying a heavy load."

#605 Perspectives Evolving

     How we feel, how we are, and how we perceive is one indivisible unit. 
     With mindfulness, we learn to monitor how we feel, and recognize this as a constantly changing energy, flowing through. When we lightly hold anything in spacious awareness, we are no longer stuck in it or identified with it - it is no longer who we are, and it no longer, or at least less strongly, distorts our perception of reality. We are spacious awareness, not the ever-changing energies passing by.
     Self-concern (egocentricity) seems to be a step on the path to developing a healthy sense of self. Then concern for one's immediate family's welfare, then one's ethnicity, religion, country, etc. are only expansions on this same egocentric theme. Ideally, by one's 60s, one is progressively letting go of egocentricity / tribalism, and is developing a wise, grandparent-like nurturing attitude toward all of humanity, nature, the cosmos.
     Having a grandchild helps promote this allocentric / ecocentric shift. A grandchild brings joy that helps keep open the heart-mind, that can hold everything in spacious awareness.

McFrost69   www.dpreview.com

#601 Individuation, Maturation towards Wholeness

     "Individuation can be seen as the positive consequence of individuality. Jung used the term individuation 'to denote a process of becoming a psychological "individual," that is, separate, indivisible unity or whole.' To individuate is to gradually actualize our innate capacity to live as a unique individual. It is the consequence of a process of awakening that releases our innate potential. As Jung put it, 'Individuation means becoming a single homogenous being, and, insofar as "individuality" embraces our innermost, last and incomparable uniqueness, it also implies becoming one's own self. We could therefore translate individuation as "coming to selfhood" or "self-actualization."'
     In the same way that Michelangelo is said to have revealed David from the base stone, so too we gradually release our capacity for self-realization and wholeness. What may sometimes become confused is the distinction between the emergence of ego-identity and the process of self-realization. As Jung stated, 'Again and again I note that the individuation process is confused with the coming of the ego into consciousness and that the ego is in consequence identified with the Self ***, which naturally produces a hopeless conceptual muddle. Individuation is then nothing but ego-centeredness and narcissism. But the Self comprises infinitely more than mere ego ...'
     As we individuate we grow to recognize our individual relationship to a universal wisdom that has a unique expression because of our particular personality. To individuate is to expand the boundaries of individual identity and personality to be rooted in our inner sense of totality. It is our growing sense of, in Jung's terms, the Self as the root of meaning and the archetype of wholeness within each of us. This expression of individuation enables us to have a quality of inner authority, integrity, and knowledge of what is true for ourselves. It enables us to open to our unique responsibility in the task of our life for the welfare and good of all.
     Where individuation and individuality differ is that individuality leads to separation and a sense of self-preoccupation that isolates us from others, while, as Jung asserts, 'Individuation does not shut one out from the world, but gathers the world to one's self.' Individuation is the discovery of our own personal quality of wholeness that is intimately connected to our experience of the whole. We stand upon a threshold where the individual meets the universal yet retains a unique sense of self. This inner sense of wholeness is then open to the interdependence of ourselves with all others. I am reminded of the metaphor of there being one light though the lamps are many."

     *** Self - "Jungian term referring to the archetype of wholeness and meaning - the center of an individual's totality.

       Preece R. "The Wisdom of Imperfection. The Challenge of Individuation in Buddhist Life." Snow Lion Publications, Ithaca NY, 2006.

Scurociaro   www.dpreview.com

#599 Alive with Potential

     The boundary between wallowing / self-indulgence / complacency / self-acceptance / idealism / spiritual practice / enlightenment tends to be dynamic, moving, evolving. When open to it, we get a felt sense of outgrowing younger needs & ways of being, which loose their appeal as our requirements evolve to become progressively more sophisticated, mature human beings.

     The motivation to keep growing, evolving varies between individuals & within the same person at different phases of life, from nonexistent to urgent priority.

     One can’t successfully evolve too fast (eg "spiritual bypassing") since such “striving” binds us to “ordinary mind”. Rushing to acquire a goal ties us down to the same primitive (brain stem) level of consciousness that cause problems in the first place.
     Nor can we successfully stagnate in complacency – besides the dullness factor, our biological clock is ticking away. 

     Awareness of our mind-heart-body tells us what we need to physically process right now. Awareness of actual awareness tells us that, right now, we are clarity, peace, silence, stillness, joy.

     We have the mysteriously incredible gift of life … can we share our blessings with so many who suffer?

 

Angela Classen   www.angelaclassen.com

#597 Flow with - OR - Rigidly Oppose Life ?

     Mindfulness practice gradually leads us to experience life as a constant flow of energy. With psychological flexibility, whatever comes up becomes "workable". We learn to live in a peaceful, synergistic, collaborative relationship with people & nature.

     This comes about naturally as we learn to let go of psychological rigidity: black-or-white thinking, judgmentalism, dogmatism - fear-based reactions of a reified ego against a presumed hostile universe - see: http://www.johnlovas.com/2014/11/painful-mistaken-identity.html At some point, most people come to realize that the old caveman stance simply doesn't work.

Fiona Wiseman   https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.706893482727591.1073741831.100002208364263&type=1&l=3362c32dc6

#591 Perfect Freedom - the Path MIRRORS the Goal

     We can ALL attain the state of perfect freedom described below - but how? 
     In mindfulness, the goal & path are one - a moment-by-moment choice to be mindful (aware), instead of mindless (inhabiting the egocentric "ordinary mind"). 
     We cannot "get to" mindfulness by being mindless, no matter how hard we try. Angry, impatient struggle only buries us deeper into the swamp of mindlessness. We practice mindfulness by resting in awareness, and when we notice that we've drifted off into mindlessness, we skillfully return to resting in awareness. Acceptance, gentleness, kindness are already aspects of mindfulness ie we're already instantly, effortlessly there!: http://www.johnlovas.com/2011/12/self-compassion.html
 
     A highly accomplished practitioner of meditation has been described as "a person who has actualized that perfect freedom that is the potential for all human beings. The flow of her consciousness is not the fixed repetitive pattern of our usual self-centered consciousness, but rather arises spontaneously & naturally from the circumstances of the present. The results of this, in terms of the quality of life, are extraordinary: buoyancy, vigor, straight-forwardness, simplicity, humility, serenity, joyousness, uncanny perspicacity, and unfathomable compassion. Her whole being testifies to what it means to live in the reality of the present. Without anything said or done, just the impact of meeting a person so developed, is enough change another's whole way of life."

       Jack Kornfield "Transmission - Receiving the Living Wisdom of Spiritual Teachers - In-depth reflections and teachings on the student-teacher relationship."           www.soundstrue.com

 

Antonio Celso Lima Mollo, National Geographic   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

#588 To Evolve OR Blame? - THAT is the Question!

     As we start to practice sitting meditation, all sorts of apparent impediments arise: mental, physical & emotional irritations that we blame on the practice, teacher, room, time of day, hunger, noise, weather, work, our own ineptitude ... We find all sorts of excuses for not being able to just sit still.
     Mindfulness practice is a structured process that can enable us, initially, to simply remain aware and accepting while sitting comfortably - how stress-free can we get! The more we train, the more able we are to rest in awareness during increasingly challenging "real-world" situations.
      Paradoxically, the more completely we let go of excessive self-concern ("noisy ego"), the greater our freedom and true happiness. Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" is a powerful study of this universal human process of transformation or evolution of consciousness / heart-mind, found outside of, as well as within, all wisdom traditions.

Winfield Parks, National Geographic   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

#587 Consciousness - Right Here, Right Now

     Reality is essentially consciousness, and vice versa. Consciousness directly experiences reality, somewhat like a clear mirror reflects an image - exactly as it is, and of course, in real time. Obviously, this is immediately, effortlessly available to all human beings.

     But as soon as we start talking to ourselves about the experience, or about anything else, we immediately abandon reality, to maintain & stroke our pretend pet - the ego. Tragically, we spend most of our lives doing this, "lost in thought". We so fully inhabit this "ordinary mind" narrative, this cartoon life, that we mistakenly assume the "me", "myself" & "I" - the main character - to be our actual identity. We cling to and defend this "ego" as if our survival depended on it. Though an ego is only "virtual," we nevertheless treat it morbidly seriously - to our own & everyone else's detriment.
     Being mindlessly egocentric & tribal, is at the primitive pole of human evolution. Transcending the ego and being mindful, allocentric and ecocentric are at the evolving, civilized pole. The very basis of all wisdom traditions is about waking up from the nightmare of self-centeredness, and opening to the far vaster reality that is right here, right now.

      "consciousness is different (than the above 'ordinary mind'). It appears to have no form at all, because anything that would give it form must arise within the field of consciousness. Consciousness is simply the light by which the contours of mind and body are known. It is that which is aware of feelings such as joy, regret, amusement, and despair. It can seem to take their shape for a time, but it is possible to recognize that it never quite does. In fact, we can directly experience that consciousness is never improved or harmed by what it knows. Making this discovery, again and again, is the basis of spiritual life."                           Sam Harris. "Waking Up. A Guide to Spirituality without Religion." Simon & Schuster, 2014.

Dan Piraro   bizarro.com

 

#586 Who is Suffering when I Rest in Awareness?

      "... when I pay attention, it is impossible for me to feel like a self at all: The implied center of cognition and emotion simply falls away, and it is obvious that consciousness is never truly confined by what it knows. That which is aware of sadness is not sad. That which is aware of fear is not fearful. The moment I am lost in thought, however, I’m as confused as anyone else.

     The whole of Advaita ("non-dualism" in general) reduces to a series of very simple and testable assertions: 
          • Consciousness is the prior condition of every experience;
          • the self or ego is an illusory appearance within it;
          • look closely for what you are calling ‘I,’ and the feeling of being a separate self will disappear;
          • what remains, as a matter of experience, is a field of consciousness – free, undivided, and intrinsically uncontaminated by its ever-changing contents.”

       Sam Harris. "Waking Up. A Guide to Spirituality without Religion." Simon & Schuster, 2014.

     "Free Will"? - see: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/07/373-how-free-is-our-free-will.html 

Austin Beahm, National Geographic   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com