#649 A Sudden Hunger, and then ...

     We often feel a tad over-extended; just outside our comfort zone; just short of coping - in a word, stressed. Nothing major needs to trigger this: our sleeve gets snagged, yanking us back when we're trying to "get ahead"; an inexplicable pain appears; even a brief period with nothing going on, so we're "bored". And sometimes it's not at all clear why we feel "off" or "out of sorts".
     Basically, when we sense that nothing's stoking our fire, we get scared! Will our fire go out? Yes, but please, not now! We start to see that our sense of self (ego) is like an idol that crumbles unless continuously propped-up with positive strokes. We foolishly depend on the solidity of this imaginary idol to feel relatively up, unafraid, oriented, peaceful.
     And how do we typically respond when the idol fails to be catered to by other people and circumstances? A visceral hunger arises - as if our energy were suddenly critically depleted. Annoyance / irritability / anger (born out of fear if we really look closely) may suddenly arise to energize us to bulldoze past life's speed bumps. Then we "get busy", with anything - any distraction will do - the most potent being addictions: junk food, caffeine, prescription meds, busy-work, smartphones, cigarettes, mindless fun, etc!

     Since life does NOT revolve around me (or you), it's actually normal for our individual egos to get random shares of positive, neutral & negative strokes. Though it's not at all personal, we often react as if it were.
     So for practical purposes ie sanity & quality of life, we need to work on letting go of such self-centeredness. If life does not in fact revolve around me, then I should learn to fully accept that, and not take anything personally. Sometimes the sun shines, sometimes the weather's ugly, & sometimes the climate is bland. There's nothing whatsoever personal, when we're getting soaked by rain, beautifully suntanned, or fried by a lightning bolt! 
     A wise meditation teacher once advised: "Only have no preferences!" Of course we usually do have preferences, but what if we hold these very lightly, in a huge container, and seamlessly accept the fact that things mostly turn out differently than we'd like, or even expect! Can we simply be curious, rather than desperately hope that "luck" is "on our side"? Whether we're "lucky" OR "unlucky" this time, does it say anything at all about next time? So perhaps we're not "special" regardless?

     The journey from egocentricity toward allocentricity is the ancient, well-travelled hero's journey towards wisdom and mature happiness.

#581 Character is Built upon our Choices

     Which of these two paths leads to true, lasting peace, joy & happiness? We ALL, repeatedly face this CHOICE.

     Path One: Surrounding yourself by people who agree with your rationalizations for past mistakes & failures, who agree that it was completely other peoples' fault, who agree that you're a victim of ..., who agree that you should get back at them - "lawyer up" etc, and who agree that there's no use trying because the world's not fair.
     This is the common, relatively easy path of the masses. It props up the ego - solidifies your old "identity". It is for those who can't see beyond "ordinary unhappiness."

     Path Two: Listening to one or more trusted people who advise you to deeply examine your mistakes & failures, who advise you to honestly face your role in these, who advise you to make amends to the people who were likely hurt by your actions, and then vowing to lead a meaningful life that you yourself, your family, and even strangers can respect and trust.
     This is the uncommon path, requiring strength, bravery and persistence. It is chosen by those for whom "ordinary unhappiness" = "a life unexamined" = "a life wasted." Here one transcends the ego, opening to "deeper degrees of truth about yourself, others, and the nature of mind. More and more, you live in awareness." (Larry Rosenberg)

     At any time, we can choose to leave behind an unsatisfying way of life, and start living one that's increasingly meaningful and inspiring to ourselves, our family, our community.

Keith Willette, National Geographic   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com