#770 Relating to Pain Wisely

     Most of the time now, when I'm awake & lying on my back, there's an electric-current-like pulsating sharp pain in some part of my left leg, either locally eg in my upper thigh, or less often, radiating down along most of the leg as if into the bones of my feet. This is known as 'sciatica.' It's sharp, jabbing, varying in intensity, really 'grabs my attention.' While sciatica is dependent on the position of my lower back (vertebrae compressing the sensory nerve to my leg), adjusting my back's position itself causes pain in the lower back, & triggers sciatica as well. Sitting involves much less sciatic pain, and standing or walking are best, though hampered by a leg brace that's fixed straight & crutches.

     So what is my best option? How can I relate to pain wisely? First of all, after repeatedly changing the position of my lower back doesn't help or worsens the pain, at night I can simply be still, accept whatever pain there is, and after a while, I do fall asleep for a couple of hours. Then repeat until it's time to get up for the day. In the morning, I sit up and periodically stand up & walk about for a few minutes. Clearly, I do what is practical to directly eliminate or minimize the pain. This is simple self-care & self-compassion. After the 'doing' of simple practicalities, it's all about 'being' - authentically expressing who I am.

     This is where one's worldview & self-concept (often unexamined), play a powerful role. The subconscious has a powerful (mostly hidden) influence on one's life.
     If deep down, one believes that the universe is a meaningless machine, and we're but random slabs of meat, then it's natural to feel like a wounded animal, suffering alone for nothing.
     On the other hand, when we sense / remember that we're profoundly at home, unconditionally loved & intimately interconnected with everyone & everything, then adversities such as pain are small, temporary lessons helping us grow stronger & wiser.
     Mystics and others who've had profound direct experiences beyond this physical realm, suggest that the hardships we experience in this realm, are for the sole purpose of helping us evolve to higher levels of consciousness - ie are specifically tailored for our benefit. People who've had near death experiences (NDEs) repeatedly report that what might at the time feel like horrible events, are remembered as minor inconveniences compared to how much was learned & the ineffable benefits for ALL those involved. Three reports:
     “I’ve become more relaxed, there is very rarely anything that really makes me upset.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3Ow4sEW8D0
     “There’s just a sense that everyone’s going to be OK. Everything’s happening the way everything’s supposed to be happening. And we’re all taken care of, and that it’s all perfect the way that it’s happening.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTESmsletG4
      The purpose of life is to become a 'bigger container' so we're able to get closer & closer to the Light. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iNucPVPGw4

     Wisdom tells us that after doing everything that's reasonable to directly manage the pain, continuing to focus narrowly on the pain becomes the main cause of suffering. So instead, the wisest approach now is to whole-heartedly say 'yes,' accepting (rather than arguing with) present reality, and to welcome pain with genuine curiosity. Now we can hold the pain in 'spacious awareness.' This is like the sky fully accepting rain clouds, knowing that the sky is huge & timeless, and that rain clouds are small & transient.
     EVERYTHING CHANGES when we can clearly experience challenges NOT as deadly attacks, BUT as loving lessons to help us grow & evolve.
     This is also the secret to true happiness as we age, as we learn an impressive number & variety of challenging life lessons.

      “The easy path of aging is to become a thick-skinned, unbudging curmudgeon, a battle-axe. To grow soft and sweet is the harder way.” James Hillman

 

It’s better to feel pain,
than never feel at all.
The opposite of love’s
indifference.

So keep your head up

and love.

 
Lumineers

 

#763 Overview of Meditation PRACTICE

     Our life, at times, appears to be under control - "I've got this!" Though we more-or-less sleep-walk through life, "doing things half-assed," we assume we're smart enough to get away with it. We're self-absorbed, lost in youthful naivete, (imagined) power & bright future. At this level of unconsciousness, we're not interested meditation at all. For a variety reasons, some of us remain at this level of maturity.

     As the years roll on, some of us are forced to learn hard lessons, become more humble, recognize how minimal our ability is to control life, and start searching for a deeper, more reliable form of happiness that's independent of conditions. Meditation now becomes more relevant.

     NOW the entire world is in turmoil: Covid 19 crisis / financial meltdown / climate crisis / direct or proxy warfare / refugee crises. "Normal" times have evaporated, possibly forever. It's time to wake up & engage with life CONSCIOUSLY, WISELY. 
     Einstein said that we can't solve a mess with the same level of consciousness as the one with which we caused it. We MUST evolve / mature to a higher level of consciousness. Now meditation practice is a vital asset.

     The various mindfulness meditation (MBSR) practices all have us concentrate our awareness on an object of meditation, in real time. The physically-felt details of our object of meditation (eg breath in our belly) are to completely fill our awareness. No part of our awareness should remain with which to be anxious, sad, to obsess, or daydream. Stable, one-pointed concentration - absorbed only on one "object" in silence & stillness (without metal chatter, without physical / emotional restlessness), in and of itself, feels pleasant & can therefore be effortlessly maintained. Profound mental rest & therefore stress relief are relatively easily & quickly obtainable.
     But initially, we ALL behave according to our lifelong training - unconsciously follow our deeply conditioned habits. So we follow the instructions in a "half-assed" way, "just going through the motions," remaining lost in our trance: self-talk about "the story of me," continuing to catastrophize, wallow, or daydream. Then we quickly jump to self-judgment & want to quit meditation "because we're no good at it."
     Our greatest obstacles are: 1) Lack of practice,  2) Impatience, & 3) Expecting dramatic results.
     1) A regular daily meditation PRACTICE must be established to replace our old outdated conditioning with new more appropriate conditioning / training. The more we practice wisely, the better we become at it. Without this disciplined approach, we derive ZERO benefits, no matter how much we read & talk about meditation. As with skiing, tennis or golf, we improve in direct proportion to the quality & quantity of our practice.
     2) IF we PATIENTLY persevere, and accept our old conditioning (untrained, distracted mind), treat ourselves with incredible patience, gentleness & kindness - holding ourselves in safety & unconditional love - carefully following the meditation instructions - zooming in on the details with curiosity, we WILL INEVITABLY SUCCEED. 
     Our mind is the organ of change. Wise, consistent training invariably transforms our mind to work FOR us (instead of against us). We will turn our life right around. From feeling helpless, vulnerable & needy, we gradually shift to embody the source of safety & unconditional love first for ourselves, and subsequently for others. 
     3) When we stabilize our awareness on a physical sensation (even for 10 seconds), we release our habitual shallow level of consciousness ("noisy ego") and become our deeper intelligence, experiencing peace, stillness & silence. The first few times, we tend to get either bored or all excited and so pop right back up to the shallows & start blabbering to ourselves, which of course immediately ends the experience. 
     If we expect meditation to deliver fireworks & levitation, we might actually overlook the subtle quality of profound peace, stillness & silence, and judge it boring, a waste of time! 
     If however we have suffered, or are now suffering from a lot of emotional anguish, then experiencing profound peace, stillness & silence will feel absolutely heavenly. Gradually, we do learn to feel comfortable & stabilize in this profoundly peaceful, still, silent, loving space of deep intelligence where we are deeply connected to, engaged, intimate with ourselves, others, the environment, life itself: http://www.johnlovas.com/2020/03/appreciating-subtle.html

     Let us PRACTICE regularly, wisely, patiently, kindly every day, formally and informally. We've created a desperate mess with our noisy ego. Now we must clean up this hot mess, but can only do so by embodying our deep intelligence. We know how; we can do it!

#757 Intimacy with Oneself

Rain
No umbrella, getting soaked.
I’ll just use the rain as my raincoat.               Daito Kokushi

      "Facing yourself intimately and without judgment is like finding yourself in a sudden downpour without an umbrella or a shelter. You try to escape the cold and wet by huddling into your clothes, head down, but there’s no way to move away from the rain, just like there’s no way to move away from your own issues, sorrow, or anger. If you can just let go of trying to escape and acknowledge, ‘This is me, and this is what I’m experiencing,’ the need to escape vanishes. You are free to be truly there for yourself and others. It’s like standing in the rain with nothing to lose: your self is the raincoat that will protect you and protect your loved ones through your honesty. If you can see that you are not the world, but that the world is actually you, then you can begin to experience an intimacy with all things. The key is to train yourself to see this in your moment-to-moment life, to consciously dissolve the made-up boundaries between self and other, to appreciate that we are all linked together in this magic circle of relationship.
     This might sound rather airy-fairy, but it is what gives us freedom, and freedom is what we really want. We want to be spontaneously alive, not stuck in our old habits of body and mind. So we flow with change; we nurture awareness; we listen with open heart-minds to ourselves and to each other. We recognize our own ‘selflessness’ and our own ‘self-fullness.’
     It is the fulcrum of our relationships – with family, friends, coworkers – that can lead us to this continuous path of awakening. The key is to train ourselves to recognize how we are in our moment-to-moment lives and to honestly connect with others without fear or shame. Because, strange as it may seem, we learn more from relationships than from any other source. And they are not always easy! Buddha’s teachings tell us that suffering arises from grasping for things to be different than they are, from not meeting the moment just as it is. We’re so preoccupied with the idea of what we want, that we miss what’s really alive in the present moment. We always want to be safe and happy and to avoid any suffering, so we try to control our own lives and the lives of those close to us. We don’t feel safe enough to just let things fall apart and reassemble. We try to ‘fix’ the other people when that’s not needed, and so we create more suffering.

      It may sound strange, but even when we are struggling, we can find appreciation in the struggle itself. If we are willing to experience others and ourselves as evolving beings, we may realize that even the most disturbing insight into our self may be exactly what we need. At that moment, we can appreciate our willingness and courage to take the step into reality.”

       Roshi Pat Enkyo O’Hara. “Most Intimate. A Zen Approach to Life’s Challenges.” Shambhala, 2014.


     "You need not worry about your worries. Just be. Do not try to be quiet; do not make 'being quiet' into a task to be performed. Don't be restless about 'being quiet', miserable about 'being happy'. Just be aware that you are and remain aware - don't say: 'yes, I am; what next?' There is not 'next' in 'I am'. It is a timeless state." Nisargadatta

#690 Interwoven Flowing

     “aboriginal languages [are] not so much noun-centered as they [are] verb-centered, trying to emphasize not the thing aspect of Creation but rather the pattern, flow and function aspect. … When Indian eyes look upon Creation, they see a much more fluid, transforming and interconnecting reality than Newton ever did, with his linear, billiard-ball chains of cause and effect.

     things [aren’t] separate at all … Instead, all things acted within complex webs of relationships. Whatever happened with one rippled out to touch and affect all others. If you talked about one, you were talking about all, and any point in their relationship would do. … the real essence of Creation lay in what was going on between things. That’s where attention [is required], to all the relationships that bind things together so strongly that a question about blueberries gets an answer about bears.”

       Rupert Ross. "Indigenous Healing. Exploring Traditional Paths." Penguin, Toronto, 2014.

#662 The Ultimate Nature of Human Existence

     "Do we understand the domain of being, or do we not? 
      Can we inhabit our lives while we have them to live, as if they were worth actually knowing with some degree of intimacy, so that we could live the lives that are ours to live and do actually the work that's ours to do, as opposed to being driven by a whole range of complex motives...?"                                     Jon Kabat-Zinn

#642 Nurishing Social Microclimates - the Give & Take - and Tragic Missed Opportunities

     We are social beings, depending much more than we realize on society. We're completely connected in every way with everyone & everything. Thich Nhat Hanh calls this "interbeing". Another evocative term is "porousness". 
     The people with whom we choose to associate most closely form our social microclimate. The quality of the collective heart-mind or consciousness of this group has the greatest impact on our own heart-mind, consciousness, quality of life. Clearly, we must choose our friends & workmates carefully - our life depends on them.

     We've all seen decent people led astray by lousy friends. The most tragic examples are apparently decent but troubled, marginalized youth, only able to find "friendship" online - in some cult, among fundamentalist extremists, 'Columbiners' etc.
     Desperation, loneliness and impatience invariably result in terrible choices. If we don't take care of our troubled, marginalized children, brothers & sisters, sociopaths are eager to abuse them. We are our brothers' & sisters' keepers.
     We not only need for ourselves, but must also provide for others, a social microclimate that nurtures our innate human kindness, goodness and wisdom.

     See: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2015/02/adrift-in-oceans-of-choices.html
     and: http://www.theawl.com/2012/10/the-killer-crush-from-columbiners-to-beliebers

#639 Mindfulness in the Real World

     Many of us, even if we have some mindfulness practice under our belts, underestimate the practical importance and impact of mindfulness on our day-to-day life.
     We (incorrectly) tend to assume that our usual way of being & doing things (ie mindless / autopilot) is practical, effective - "necessary to survive in the real-world".
     Conversely, we (incorrectly) assume that mindfulness is impractical - akin to "being the nice guy" in a world where only SOBs "succeed".
     However, our mindless default state, being egocentric, mostly ignores others, where we are, the present moment - so it's profoundly alienating. Everyone keenly notices whenever we lack interest, attention, caring. There's no engagement, no quality of connection, no quality of life. We may well be seen as irrelevant, burdensome, an energy drain.
     When we're being mindful, others readily perceive our "presence". They feel the vitality of a powerful connection between us: attention, caring, empathy, kindness flows unobstructed. Quality engagement defines interpersonal quality of life. We cultivate a "magnetic personality".
     Mindfulness is a product of sincere, open-hearted practice. It's not easy, but nothing of profound value is.
     See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=presence

#616 Meaningful Living

     "What moves us to serve humanity, to achieve meaningful change, is genuine empathy; the capacity to feel the pain of others, to experience an intimate shared humanity, to accept discomfort and sacrifice in the path of a greater cause. In entering an authentic communion with others, we also discover a profound expression of our own dignity."

       Payam Akhavan, from the 2014 Vancouver Human Rights Lecture, "Beyond Human Rights: Building a World on Empathy."
       CBC radio interview: http://www.cbc.ca/ideas/episodes/2015/01/06/beyond-human-rights-1/

srb7109   www.dpreview.com

#601 Individuation, Maturation towards Wholeness

     "Individuation can be seen as the positive consequence of individuality. Jung used the term individuation 'to denote a process of becoming a psychological "individual," that is, separate, indivisible unity or whole.' To individuate is to gradually actualize our innate capacity to live as a unique individual. It is the consequence of a process of awakening that releases our innate potential. As Jung put it, 'Individuation means becoming a single homogenous being, and, insofar as "individuality" embraces our innermost, last and incomparable uniqueness, it also implies becoming one's own self. We could therefore translate individuation as "coming to selfhood" or "self-actualization."'
     In the same way that Michelangelo is said to have revealed David from the base stone, so too we gradually release our capacity for self-realization and wholeness. What may sometimes become confused is the distinction between the emergence of ego-identity and the process of self-realization. As Jung stated, 'Again and again I note that the individuation process is confused with the coming of the ego into consciousness and that the ego is in consequence identified with the Self ***, which naturally produces a hopeless conceptual muddle. Individuation is then nothing but ego-centeredness and narcissism. But the Self comprises infinitely more than mere ego ...'
     As we individuate we grow to recognize our individual relationship to a universal wisdom that has a unique expression because of our particular personality. To individuate is to expand the boundaries of individual identity and personality to be rooted in our inner sense of totality. It is our growing sense of, in Jung's terms, the Self as the root of meaning and the archetype of wholeness within each of us. This expression of individuation enables us to have a quality of inner authority, integrity, and knowledge of what is true for ourselves. It enables us to open to our unique responsibility in the task of our life for the welfare and good of all.
     Where individuation and individuality differ is that individuality leads to separation and a sense of self-preoccupation that isolates us from others, while, as Jung asserts, 'Individuation does not shut one out from the world, but gathers the world to one's self.' Individuation is the discovery of our own personal quality of wholeness that is intimately connected to our experience of the whole. We stand upon a threshold where the individual meets the universal yet retains a unique sense of self. This inner sense of wholeness is then open to the interdependence of ourselves with all others. I am reminded of the metaphor of there being one light though the lamps are many."

     *** Self - "Jungian term referring to the archetype of wholeness and meaning - the center of an individual's totality.

       Preece R. "The Wisdom of Imperfection. The Challenge of Individuation in Buddhist Life." Snow Lion Publications, Ithaca NY, 2006.

Scurociaro   www.dpreview.com

#572 What is the Most Important Meditation We Can Do Now?

“Critical thinking, followed by action.
Discern what your world is;
notice the plot, the scenario of this human drama;
and then figure out where your talent might fit in to make a better world.
And each of us must do something that makes our heart sing,
because nobody will want to do it with us if we’re not passionate & inspired.”                       Dalai Lama

From the inspired 2010 documentary movie: "I Am" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1741225/

#554 Interpersonal Engagement

     It's both fascinating and sad to closely observe a person's eyes as you speak to them. The listener's eyes obviously glaze over when they become disengaged - when they don't want to hear what you're saying.
     Why does such disengagement happen SO OFTEN?
     It surely can't be due to lack of importance of the subject matter. After all, most of our conversations are "small talk" ie the topic itself is of minimal importance. Small talk is a way of socializing. And it probably isn't the quality of the delivery of the message - most of us are far from being gifted speakers.
     Two major possibilities remain: the listener already knows or thinks they know what is being said (potential boredom) OR the listener is not ready to hear what's being said (potential stress).

      Could the cause be common mindlessness? Could intentionally remaining open mind-heartedly engaged - despite (supposedly) knowing all that your friend is about to say, or despite assuming that you can't take it all in - be a more powerful form of human bonding than common small talk? Could this become a practical part of your mindfulness practice?

 

Early Morning Mist on Eagle Lake

#461 Paradox of Two Perspectives

     The usual (default) way in which we perceive things - ourselves & everything else - is based on a (dualistic) self-concept which is separate from, & in an adversarial relationship with everyone & everything else. We therefore automatically expend considerable energy avoiding (aversion, anger)  stimuli we reject; while chasing after to get & keep (craving, clinging) stimuli we want. This reactive reflex is hard-wired into our fully-functional brain stem. The typical mode of existence within dualism is suffering.

     A very different way of perceiving reality (rare without training) is experiencing one's self as an inherent part of the physical universe (nondualistic). A sense of wholeness & interconnectedness ("interbeing") is usually the result of a very gradual, radical shift in perception / way of being, brought about by consistent mindfulness meditation practice. This mode of existence is characterized by wonder, gratitude, love & joy. 
     One remains fully aware of the former perspective & way of being, but it is no longer the only way, so one is no longer trapped within dualism. 

     From within dualism, the concept of nondualism may seem attractive, but the experience of it cannot be imagined. A practical approach is patient, consistent, persistent, mindfulness meditation practice. Intelligent sustained practice inevitably cultivates & matures this natural, universal human capacity.

Steve McCurry   http://stevemccurry.com/

#455 Learning to Open Up to & Depend on Others

     "In Roger Ebert’s review of Sean Penn’s poignant movie of Into the Wild, Ebert wrote, 'This is a reflective, regretful, serious film about a young man swept away by his uncompromising choices. Two of the more truthful statements in recent culture are that we need a little help from our friends, and that sometimes we must depend on the kindness of strangers.
     If you don't know those two things & accept them, you will end up eventually in a bus of one kind or another.'"

The Search for Meaning
Science, spirituality, and our desire for satisfaction
by Galen Guengerich PhD
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-search-meaning/201304/roger-ebert-s-secret-success

P1xels   www.dpreview.com

#446 Gratitude, Service & Responsibility

     The great philosopher Huston Smith summarized a profound approach to life:

"Infinite gratitude towards all things past;
infinite service to all things present; 
infinite responsibility to all things future."

http://billmoyers.com/content/a-personal-philosophy-the-wisdom-of-faith-with-huston-smith/

     Can we acknowledge how this, and only this, total timeless engagement with life is right, natural, our only home?
     Can we recognize that anything less than such an openhearted mindful embrace of the whole is partial, incomplete, inadequate, and therefore - painfully unsatisfying?
     Can we then reduce suffering by settling for nothing less?
     Can we recognize how this is as plainly reasonable & practical as pulling a splinter out of our thumb?

     See: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2013/11/personal-deepening-universal-meaning.html

Kristiina Lehtonen - "A Message to Eternity"   http://www.kristiinalehtonen.fi

#407 Sympathetic Joy instead of Adversarial Relationship

     "If we approach life from a place of scarcity, a mind-set that emphasizes what we lack instead of what we have, then anyone who has something we want becomes the enemy. But when we can rejoice in other people's happiness, we realize that joy and fulfillment are not finite quantities we have to grab while we can. They are always available because they are internal qualities that flow naturally if we allow them to."

       Salzberg S, Thurman R. "Love your enemies: Hot to break the anger habit and be a whole lot happier." Hay House, 2013.

Toby Smith  

http://pdn30.pdnevents.com/gallery/2013/index.php?contest=smith

#331 Thoughts, Energies, Actions - Choices, Choices, Choices

     A sponge is porous, all of the stuff in the water passes through a sponge immersed in the water. Likewise, each of us is immersed in the thoughts and energies of our current global culture. It ALL passes through each of us, whether we realize it or not, want it or not. Humans are completely interconnected at ALL LEVELS (thoughts, emotions, energies, communications, financially, ecologically etc).
     A massive problem is the fact that our human family is so diverse in terms of psychosocialspiritual development - from stone-age blood feuds to the Dalai Lama's message AND embodiment of forgiveness of current persecutors. We are in the age of BOTH the basest of child-soldier massacres AND Nelson Mandela's soaring example of what a human being can and MUST evolve to. 
     ALL levels of thoughts and energies pass through each of us - hideous & inspired - WE CHOOSE which ones to cultivate, which ones to enact in our lives, in this our one and only world. WE ALONE CREATE OUR REALITY, moment-by-moment. We must take great care about what we choose to occupy our minds, and what activities to feed with energy.

     “Wisdom traditions, the paths followed by our patients and our own experiences suggest that a sense of integrity comes through establishing healing connections. That’s not quite it. It wasn’t that the wave needed to establish connections. It was connected — part of a greater whole. Its challenge was to recognize the connectedness that was already there.”     Mount BM. The existential moment. Palliat Support Care 2003; 1(1): 93-6.

     Movement on the quality of life “continuum toward an experience of integrity and wholeness may be thought of as healing, and toward suffering and anguish as wounding.”
     Mount BM et al. Healing connections: on moving from suffering to a sense of well-being. J Pain Symptom Manage 2007; 33(4): 372-88. 

     “The key to self-development … is the experience of … a state of relaxed concentration in which the individual neither freezes out of fear nor clings due to desire. … the free flow of vital energy within the body and between the body and the universe.”     Sayama MK. “Samadhi. Self-development in Zen, swordsmanship, and psychotherapy.” State University of New York Press. 1986.

Dale Chihuly   http://www.chihulygardenandglass.com/