#768 BASICS #3: What are We Actually Doing during Meditation?

      The way our mind normally works by default, is as if we were drowning, desperately trying to grab anything nearby, to keep us from sinking. It takes some level of introspection & insight to become aware of this chronic tight, cold, jittery uneasiness.
      Occasionally, we feel expansive, at ease, "blessed." But very quickly, this turns to worry - "This can't last - how can I hang onto this?", or "How can I make this even better?" Because it's our "normal," we're not generally aware of our "anxious quiver of being."
      When we sit down to meditate, our self-centered obsessional self-talk keeps running as always. The big difference: during meditation, we become aware of this endless self-centered obsessional self-talk! 
     This imaginary identity & world that the mind creates is nothing more than a bit of electrical current passing through our brain! It has NO objective reality. YET, we unwittingly maintain & amplify it by obsessing over it & conversing with it. AND we let it govern most of our lives! Our imaginary identity - "ego" - keeps most of us convinced that if we don't continuously obsess about our own survival, we will die immediately. Western psychology refers to this unhealthy situation as a "noisy ego" up to "narcissism."
     During meditation practice, we practice persistently LETTING GO of all unhelpful mental games (compulsive planning, worrying, regretting, wallowing, daydreaming, slipping off to "our happy place.") Initially, letting go of an unhealthy, noisy ego can feel like impending physical death. But we're NOT trying to "kill" anything, or even to completely get rid of our ego. We're only taming an unhealthy, hyperactive ego "down to a dull roar" ie to a healthy, quiet, functional state. So we keep fully showing up, EMBODYING Mind, Heart & Gut - ALL of who/what we truly are, in the here & now. This has many names & levels of maturity: from "quiet ego" all the way to wisdom, awakening & enlightenment.
     Bottom line: during meditation, we consciously, intentionally, repeatedly CHOOSE to practice letting go of "normal" robotic autopilot state, and instead, consciously, intentionally, repeatedly CHOOSE to practice visiting, & gradually stabilizing in, direct intimate engagement with actual reality.

     “Either you try to transform yourself for the sake of serving others and everybody wins, or you stay inside the bubble of ego and everybody loses. Because by desperately trying to be happy just for your own sake, you don’t help others or yourself.” Matthieu Ricard
     Matthieu Ricard, Christophe Andre, Alexandre Jollien. “In Search of Wisdom. A Monk, a Philosopher, and a Psychiatrist on What Matters Most.” Sounds True, 2018.

 

Sharing Silence by Gunilla Norris

Within each of us there is a silence
—a silence as vast as a universe.
We are afraid of it…and we long for it.
When we experience that silence, we remember
who we are: creatures of the stars, created
from the cooling of this planet, created
from dust and gas, created
from the elements, created
from time and space…created
from silence.
In our present culture,
silence is something like an endangered species…
an endangered fundamental.
The experience of silence is now so rare
that we must cultivate it and treasure it.
This is especially true for shared silence.
Sharing silence is, in fact, a political act.
When we can stand aside from the usual and
perceive the fundamental, change begins to happen.
Our lives align with deeper values
and the lives of others are touched and influenced.
Silence brings us back to basics, to our senses,
to our selves. It locates us. Without that return
we can go so far away from our true natures
that we end up, quite literally, beside ourselves.
We live blindly and act thoughtlessly.
We endanger the delicate balance which sustains
our lives, our communities, and our planet.
Each of us can make a difference.
Politicians and visionaries will not return us
to the sacredness of life.
That will be done by ordinary men and women
who together or alone can say,
“Remember to breathe, remember to feel,
remember to care,
let us do this for our children and ourselves
and our children’s children.
Let us practice for life’s sake.

#767 BASICS #2: The Heart of Mindfulness

     “Mindfulness can be thought of as moment-to-moment, nonjudgmental awareness, cultivated by paying attention in a specific way, that is, in the present moment, and as non-reactively, as nonjudgmentally, and as openheartedly as possible.” Jon Kabat-Zinn. “Wherever You Go, There You Are.” Hyperion, 1994.

     Moment-to-moment means continuously ie all the time - we intend this to become our stable way of being in the world.
     Non-judgmentally doesn’t mean detached – quite the opposite. We’re learning to cultivate a friendly, kind, even loving attitude, toward ourselves, others & life in general, as life keeps unfolding for us in each present moment.
     One way to help achieve this is to instead of compulsively analyzing our thoughts & sensations, to simply notice if they feel pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. This counterbalances our tendency to become lost in our heads thinking, and helps bring us back down to earth, into our bodies, right here, right now ie back to reality.

     All of us have sustained different traumas. The more severe the trauma and the earlier in life it occurs, the greater the impact and the less we may be consciously aware of it. All of us are at least somewhat armoured, and therefore, we have more in common with military veterans with PTSD than we realize.
     "Whoever you're looking at, know that that person has been through hell several times." Christian Bobin
     So we automatically behave qualitatively differently, as if we were totally different people, when for example, we face a hostile stranger vs when we rock a beloved one-year-old to sleep on our chest. The hostile stranger 'triggers' us! We 'react' by hardening (armour), become 'stone cold,' ready to fight, run or shut down ('fight, flight or freeze instinct'). With the baby however, our heart opens wide, radiating warmth, safety, nurturing, unconditional love ('tend & befriend instinct').
     This radical difference is 'normal' ie common, but not optimal! A person competent in negotiating with enraged people will show relaxation, concern & curiosity towards the hostile stranger, will get to know them (no longer a stranger), find out why they're upset, maybe give them a hot drink, and hold them in safety & unconditional kindness. This is what we all need, especially when we're triggered!
    Triggered people unfortunately usually trigger others! When two triggered parties confront each other, things don't go well (eg when mentally ill people are killed; the many ongoing endless religious / tribal / racial conflicts). INSTEAD, we CAN cultivate the mindfulness required to face all situations far, far more skillfully: with an open mind & an open heart.

                              "We are fools to make war
                               on our brothers in arms."          Mark Knopfler

     “… in any situation in life, confronted by an outer threat or opportunity, you can notice yourself responding inwardly in one of two ways. Either you will brace, harden, and resist, or you will soften, open and yield. If you go with the former gesture, you will be catapulted immediately into your smaller self, with its animal instincts and survival responses. If you stay with the latter regardless of the outer conditions, you will remain in alignment with your innermost being, and through it, divine being can reach you. Spiritual practice at its no-frills simplest is a moment-by-moment learning not to do anything in a state of internal brace. Bracing is never worth the cost.
     This does not necessarily carry over into an outer state of surrender, or ‘rolling over and playing dead.’ On the contrary, interior surrender is often precisely what makes it possible to see a decisive action that must be taken and to do it with courage and strength. To ski down a hill or split a piece of wood, you first have to relax inwardly; only then can you exert the right force and timing. It’s exactly the same in the emotional world. Whether it’s a matter of holding your ground in a dispute with your boss, handling a rebellious teenager with tough love, or putting your life on the line for an ideal you believe in like Gandhi or Martin Luther King Jr., action flows better when it flows from nonviolence, that is, from the place of relaxed, inner opening.
     Remember that memorable scene in the first Star Wars movie when young Luke Skywalker had to guide his space cruiser through a narrow passage and release his missile at exactly the right time? ‘Feel the force, feel the force’ – that powerful mantra his teacher Obi-Wan-Kenobi had impressed on him – captures perfectly the relationship between inner surrender and effortless action. It’s a secret the great spiritual masters have always known.”
    Cynthia Bourgeault. “The Wisdom Way of Knowing: Reclaiming An Ancient Tradition to Awaken the Heart.” Jossey-Bass, 2003.

   A useful meditation PRACTICE: http://www.johnlovas.com/2021/01/768-basics-2a-heart-of-mindfulness.html

#765 From Fear & Suffering - to - Love & Joy

     “Wisdom is deep understanding and practical skill in the central issues of life, especially existential and spiritual issues.
      Existential issues are those crucial and universal concerns all of us face simply because we are human. They include finding meaning and purpose in our lives; managing relationships and aloneness; acknowledging our limits and smallness in a universe vast beyond comprehension; living in inevitable uncertainty and mystery; and dealing with sickness, suffering, and death. A person who has developed deep insights into these issues – and skills for dealing with them – is wise indeed.
      Visionary wisdom sees that conventional ways of living are rife with suffering. Practical wisdom begins when a person recognizes there must be a better way to live and commits to finding it. The quest to awaken begins.
      Wisdom recognizes the awesome power of the mind to both create and cloud our experience, to produce ecstasy and suffering, and to learn or stagnate. Once you appreciate the all-consuming power of the mind, learning how your mind works and how to train it become vital goals.”

     Roger Walsh. “Essential Spirituality. The 7 Central Practices to Awaken Heart and Mind.” John Wiley & Sons Inc, 1999.

     "Our unwillingness to turn towards & relate kindly to negative mind states causes suffering." Bill Morgan

   “Our suffering is caused by holding on to how things might have been, should have been, could have been.” Stephen Levine

 

    "... investigate how resistance turns pain into suffering, the unpleasant into the unbearable." Stephen Levine

      “Our intelligence and dignity themselves are developed by our being alive for everything, including the mundane anguish of our lives. Just our awareness of our sensations, of our experience, with no object or idea in mind, is the practice of not preferring any particular state of mind. Intimacy with our activity and the objects around us connects us deeply to our lives. This connection – to the earth, our bodies, our sense impressions, our creative energies, our feelings, other people – is the only way I know of to alleviate suffering. To me, our awareness of these things without preference is a meditation that synchronizes body and mind. This synchronization, the experience of deep integrity, of being all of a piece, is a very deep healing. It is unconventional to value such a subtle experience. It is not encouraged in our culture. We’re much more apt to strive to feel special, uniquely talented, particularly loved. It’s extraordinary to be willing to live an ordinary life, to be fully alive for the laundry, to be present for the dishes. We overlook these everyday connections to our lives, waiting for the Big Event.
      Because our conditioning to avoid unpleasantness, the hardest thing may not be bearing the unpleasant experiences we have so much as learning how to experience the details of our suffering so thoroughly that ‘suffering,’ ‘stress,’ and ‘pain’ lose their distinctive character and just become our lives, and rich lives at that.”
      Darlene Cohen. “Turning Suffering Inside Out: A Zen Approach to Living with Physical and Emotional Pain.” Shambhala, 2002.

“If this world is to be healed through human efforts,

I am convinced it will be by ordinary people

whose love for life is even greater than their fear." Joanna Macy

      Joanna Macy “discovered that when people opened up to the pain they felt for the world, they began to sense a deeper connection with life.”

     “Wisdom is deep understanding and practical skill in the central issues of life, especially existential and spiritual issues.

      Existential issues are those crucial and universal concerns all of us face simply because we are human. They include finding meaning and purpose in our lives; managing relationships and aloneness; acknowledging our limits and smallness in a universe vast beyond comprehension; living in inevitable uncertainty and mystery; and dealing with sickness, suffering, and death. A person who has developed deep insights into these issues – and skills for dealing with them – is wise indeed.”

     Joseph Goldstein, Jack Kornfield. “Seeking the Heart of Wisdom. The Path of Insight Meditation.” Shambhala, 2001.

P. Michael Lovas photograph

#763 Overview of Meditation PRACTICE

     Our life, at times, appears to be under control - "I've got this!" Though we more-or-less sleep-walk through life, "doing things half-assed," we assume we're smart enough to get away with it. We're self-absorbed, lost in youthful naivete, (imagined) power & bright future. At this level of unconsciousness, we're not interested meditation at all. For a variety reasons, some of us remain at this level of maturity.

     As the years roll on, some of us are forced to learn hard lessons, become more humble, recognize how minimal our ability is to control life, and start searching for a deeper, more reliable form of happiness that's independent of conditions. Meditation now becomes more relevant.

     NOW the entire world is in turmoil: Covid 19 crisis / financial meltdown / climate crisis / direct or proxy warfare / refugee crises. "Normal" times have evaporated, possibly forever. It's time to wake up & engage with life CONSCIOUSLY, WISELY. 
     Einstein said that we can't solve a mess with the same level of consciousness as the one with which we caused it. We MUST evolve / mature to a higher level of consciousness. Now meditation practice is a vital asset.

     The various mindfulness meditation (MBSR) practices all have us concentrate our awareness on an object of meditation, in real time. The physically-felt details of our object of meditation (eg breath in our belly) are to completely fill our awareness. No part of our awareness should remain with which to be anxious, sad, to obsess, or daydream. Stable, one-pointed concentration - absorbed only on one "object" in silence & stillness (without metal chatter, without physical / emotional restlessness), in and of itself, feels pleasant & can therefore be effortlessly maintained. Profound mental rest & therefore stress relief are relatively easily & quickly obtainable.
     But initially, we ALL behave according to our lifelong training - unconsciously follow our deeply conditioned habits. So we follow the instructions in a "half-assed" way, "just going through the motions," remaining lost in our trance: self-talk about "the story of me," continuing to catastrophize, wallow, or daydream. Then we quickly jump to self-judgment & want to quit meditation "because we're no good at it."
     Our greatest obstacles are: 1) Lack of practice,  2) Impatience, & 3) Expecting dramatic results.
     1) A regular daily meditation PRACTICE must be established to replace our old outdated conditioning with new more appropriate conditioning / training. The more we practice wisely, the better we become at it. Without this disciplined approach, we derive ZERO benefits, no matter how much we read & talk about meditation. As with skiing, tennis or golf, we improve in direct proportion to the quality & quantity of our practice.
     2) IF we PATIENTLY persevere, and accept our old conditioning (untrained, distracted mind), treat ourselves with incredible patience, gentleness & kindness - holding ourselves in safety & unconditional love - carefully following the meditation instructions - zooming in on the details with curiosity, we WILL INEVITABLY SUCCEED. 
     Our mind is the organ of change. Wise, consistent training invariably transforms our mind to work FOR us (instead of against us). We will turn our life right around. From feeling helpless, vulnerable & needy, we gradually shift to embody the source of safety & unconditional love first for ourselves, and subsequently for others. 
     3) When we stabilize our awareness on a physical sensation (even for 10 seconds), we release our habitual shallow level of consciousness ("noisy ego") and become our deeper intelligence, experiencing peace, stillness & silence. The first few times, we tend to get either bored or all excited and so pop right back up to the shallows & start blabbering to ourselves, which of course immediately ends the experience. 
     If we expect meditation to deliver fireworks & levitation, we might actually overlook the subtle quality of profound peace, stillness & silence, and judge it boring, a waste of time! 
     If however we have suffered, or are now suffering from a lot of emotional anguish, then experiencing profound peace, stillness & silence will feel absolutely heavenly. Gradually, we do learn to feel comfortable & stabilize in this profoundly peaceful, still, silent, loving space of deep intelligence where we are deeply connected to, engaged, intimate with ourselves, others, the environment, life itself: http://www.johnlovas.com/2020/03/appreciating-subtle.html

     Let us PRACTICE regularly, wisely, patiently, kindly every day, formally and informally. We've created a desperate mess with our noisy ego. Now we must clean up this hot mess, but can only do so by embodying our deep intelligence. We know how; we can do it!

#760 From Black-and-White Thinking towards Intimacy

     We all experience "ups & downs," "good times & bad," etc. In fact, our contact with life's "opposites", and our "approach-avoidance" reaction to them, started in utero!

     “From the very beginning of our lives, even from before we are born, we organize ourselves in response to our environment. We pull away, with our body and our consciousness, from whatever is painful or overwhelming, and we constrict those parts of ourselves that are experiencing pain. Our pulling away from abrasive stimuli is not just a mental process. It is an actual constricting against the sensation of pain.
     … trauma (is) any event that is too intense, too painful – emotionally or physically – or too confusing to be fully received.

     (This) is simply the ordinary human condition. We all grow up to some extent limited in our human capacities, such as our ability to love, to speak freely, or to think clearly, by (trauma-induced) holding patterns … Although we may be aware of feelings of tension in our body, most people are not aware of the limitations in their ability to receive and respond to life, unless these limitations become severe. Most of us accept our limitations as being ‘just who we are.’ ” Judith Blackstone

     We approach pleasurable opportunities to promote well-being & survival. Conversely, we avoid or withdraw from painful experiences as protection from harm. This biological approach-avoid dichotomy underlies all motivational tendencies, forms the basis of emotion, & promotes adaptation.
     We're biologically & culturally programmed to seek pleasure & avoid discomfort. But life includes pleasure, pain, as well as uncomfortable periods of growth that take place beyond our comfort zone - in liminality - a state of in-between-ness, ambiguity confusion & even boredom.
        Lovas J, Gold E, Neish N, Whitehorn D, Holexa D. "Cultivating Engagement through Mindfulness Practice." Poster Presentation, American Dental Education Association annual meeting, March 19, 2012, Orlando, FL. 

     Our struggle to avoid pain & liminality, and cling to happiness is the basic obstacle to joyful, full engagement with life.
     Particularly in our youth, we might assume that "really living" is a wild roller coaster ride. During periods of calm & peace, we may actually become anxiously "bored." With age, however, we tend to prefer peace over emotional extremes.

     Mindfulness practice cultivates wise acceptance of, & the ability to work equanimously within the entire range of what life brings us - embracing all the apparent opposites, even all apparent paradoxes. 
     Our minds cannot comprehend this - a serious, often permanent road-block for many. HOWEVER, for the few who are sufficiently interested, patient meditation practice allows us to experience the fact that literally "everything is workable," moving us well past mere acceptance, towards intimacy with ALL of life.

#732 Stopping Practice: Stop, Tune In, Open, Proceed

     One of the simplest (MBSR) tools we offered people who wanted to live more mindfully was the word STOP itself. Practicing with STOP allows us to have a tiny little mini-retreat right here, right now. Many people use stopping practice to help reduce stress and tension. The relief of stress can be a wonderful side effect of learning to recognize our awakened nature. 
     For me, the power of stopping practice lies in its simplicity and adaptability to every situation. The first part of stopping practice is “S”: learning to actually stop. Whatever you are doing, thinking, or saying, alone or with others, you can always pause. You can stop for a moment, or for a longer period of time. 
     Stopping is powerful, especially if you are busy and hassled. You can practice pausing throughout the day, turning it into a new habit. Maybe you can set a bell to ring on your computer, or put a little sticker on your phone that says, “STOP!” If you’re with other people, you can say, “Can we just take a little pause before we continue?” Or, “I just need a moment.” 
     The next part, the “T,” stands for “take a breath,“ “take a moment,” or “tune in.” We breathe, pause, and remember we have a body, not just a busy mind. We directly and intimately encounter whatever is here, without judging it or needing it to be different.
     When the Buddha sat down and vowed to be still and quiet, his awakening revealed some universal truths to him. He realized that the main obstacle to seeing clearly is our wish for things to be different, our desire to fight reality. If things are good, we want the good times to go on forever. If things are bad, we want them to change into something good. When we stop and tune in, we can clearly recognize our longing for things to change or to stay the same. We realize that when we try to fight reality, we always lose.
     Once we have stopped and tuned in, we are ready for “O.” We can “open” to everything: first to our own sense perceptions, thoughts, and emotions, and then to the whole wide environment in which we find ourselves. This is the moment when we see the morning star, when we discover the iguana in the tree. In this opening, clarity arises in our thoughts as well. We may turn the “O” into “Oh! How wonderful!” Or, it can be “Oh! How awful!” The important part of opening is not whether we like or dislike what is happening, but that we are seeing what is happening clearly.
     Finally, there is “P.” After the opening, after the clarity and spaciousness of our widened view, we know what to do. We “proceed” if that’s what seems to be the wisest course. We take action. 
     Meditation practice is not only about sitting around and being quiet and still. It is about seeing clearly how to be effective participants in the world. Instead of adding to the suffering and pain we find everywhere, we can contribute to healing and reconciliation. Of course, because being a human being involves taking chances, when we make a decision to do or say something, we may discover that we are wrong. Our clarity and wisdom may be missing a few important pieces of information, and we may receive feedback directly or indirectly that we have made things worse. 
     At that point, we can start all over. The “P” could also stand for “pull over and park.” Maybe it’s time to turn off the computer, take a nap, have a snack, or call a dear friend. 
     Throughout the day, we can practice STOP in an endless cycle of pausing, acting, and learning. Even if we are at an actual silent retreat, the habit of stopping is still necessary, because the mind doesn’t come to a rest simply because the body does.

Melissa Myozen Blacker http://www.lionsroar.com/dharma-gates-are-everywhere-says-melissa-blacker/?utm_source=Lion%27s+Roar+Newsletter&utm_campaign=6a8c7ff133-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2016_12_14&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_1988ee44b2-6a8c7ff133-21110717&goal=0_1988ee44b2-6a8c7ff133-21110717&mc_cid=6a8c7ff133&mc_eid=9d27166e2a

Mr. Pickles & Jett practicing STOP

#729 Skillful Attitudes towards Meditation Practice

     “The right attitudes (towards Insight Meditation) practice are: 
• to be open, receptive, allowing, acknowledging; 
• being willing to fully experience the moment with patience, without expectations or demands; 
• being responsive, caring, interested. 

     These skillful attitudes towards practice are all the qualities of loving-kindness. Remind yourself to recognize the present moment with these attitudes of mind.”

       Steve Armstrong, Lesson 5 Practice, Introduction to the Manual of Insight - online course, Kamala Masters & Steve Armstrong, Sept 24 – Nov 12, 2016 http://learn.wisdompubs.org/academy/

#726 Your Mind Transforms When Practicing Meditation

     1. Each time you focus on or return to the anchor, you are building your concentration
     2. Each time you focus on the anchor, you detach from your thought stream. This is a practice of letting go in the moment, which translates to letting go in the rest of the world.
     3. Each time you notice that the mind is wandering, that is the moment of mindfulness — not a moment of failure.
     4. Each time you are kind to yourself when your mind wanders, instead of criticizing yourself, you are exercising and strengthening your self-compassion for challenging moments in the rest of your daily life.
     5. Each time you notice where the mind is wandering, that is an opportunity for insight into your mind’s habits and patterns — what we might call wisdom or self-understanding.

       Christopher Willard. "Growing Up Mindful: Essential Practices to Help Children, Teens, and Families Find Balance, Calm, and Resilience." Sounds True, 2016.

Apple blossoms, Wolfville, NS

#725 Observing & Accepting the Conditioned Mind-Body

     At university, while studying for exams, I sometimes felt an incredible urgency to rearrange the furniture in my residence room. Obviously it was an attempt to escape pre-exam anxiety. The urgency was proportional to my anxiety, so the more inappropriate the time reallocation, the more likely I was to carry out the furniture rearrangement!

     Our attempts to avoid truly meaningful priorities in life is mirrored by the degree of our distractedness during formal meditation practice. Can we notice this with equanimity? As we do become aware of this pattern, we're gaining insight into our conditioned mind-body doing it’s conditioned thing.
     Of course we still can train the our monkey mind to cause ourselves & others a LOT less suffering than it does now - to serve us instead of work against us:
http://jglovas.wix.com/awarenessnow#!Worthy-of-Our-Precious-Time-Energy/c17jj/57797ba20cf231c9c3fabfc4

Mahone Bay, NS, Canada

#718 How Can We Best Let Go near Life's End?

     How can we let go of clinging to life, near the end of life?

     “Be happy in every moment. … You don’t need to change anything. Let everything happen just as it comes. Just flow with it. It’s the process; everything dissolves into you, so change with whatever happens.” 


      “What practice makes it easier to let go of this life?”

      “The best practice, is calm abiding. Remain with the breath. Develop calmness inside. Join awareness and the breath. Trusting these. Trusting the knowing. Trusting the calmness. Not pushing yourself to make any changes. And not paying attention to what others say about it.” 
            Khandro Rimpoche in: Olivia Ames Hoblitzelle. “Ten Thousand Joys & Ten Thousand Sorrows. A Couple’s Journey through Alzheimer’s.” Penguin, NY, 2008.



     “If you accept life and death without any conditions, your life will become supple instead of rigid. You will not create strife."
            Katagiri D. “You have to say something. Manifesting Zen insight.” Shambhala, Boston, 1998.  

 

#716 How Mindfulness (MBSR) Can Change Your Life

     "Mindfulness is a way of being - a basic human quality of awareness that is cultivated by learning to pay wise attention to whatever is happening in our lives.
     People who participate in a mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) program, learn through their own experience how to take better care of themselves, by understanding the interplay of mind and body, allowing for greater access to inner resources for coping, growing and healing. 
     MBSR is an approach that combines meditation, dialogue, reflective inquiry, mindful yoga and movement, as means to assisting participants to work more effectively with stress, pain and illness, as well as the challenges of life in the 21st century."

 

#714 Cultivating Attunement

     “When we cultivate our capacity for balance and attunement, 
     we can experience joyful inner liberation, 
     no matter what the outer circumstances.”                                           Jack Kornfield


     "Love is omni-inclusive,
     Progressively exquisite,
     Understanding and tender
     And compassionately attuned
     To other [and] self."                                             R. Buckminster Fuller  [I replaced "than" with "and"]



     attunement:  
             • bringing into a harmonious or responsive relationship;
             • causing (a person, company, etc.) to have a better understanding of what is needed or wanted by a particular person or group; 
             • becoming aware or responsive;
             • a feeling of being "at one" with others.

 

#681 Enlightened Self-Interest?

     We waste an inordinate amount of our time, energy, and far more than our share of the world's resources, in a desperate, futile attempt to make ourselves happy. Being self-centered at the expense of others & the environment is primitive, simple-minded self-interest. It's very easy to see how foolish this is within a small family, but it takes some wisdom to see its global impact - hence our present-day global meltdown.
     As we progress in our mindfulness practice we gradually become wiser. It becomes progressively more clear that self-concern is not only addictive, but like all other addictions, fails miserably to bring about our happiness. On the contrary, selfishness brings us, and all those around us, suffering. 
     Self-centeredness is a miserable burden, yet, like any addiction, difficult to let go of when it becomes our identity. And self-centeredness is our human default, brain-stem-based, way of dealing with life! Mercifully, a part of our makeup also holds unimaginable potential. One can think of enlightenment as our life journey or path from being a spoiled-rotten kid to a wise loving grandparent.
     The path is rocky, with ups, downs, detours, but with patient, intelligent, persistent mindfulness practice, we absolutely will prevail. And as we pay more & more attention to doing what's right & best for the common good, we realize that we ourselves naturally become more deeply happy, peaceful & content in the process. This is sometimes referred to as "enlightened self-interest" - dropping self-centeredness is, paradoxically, key to one's own happiness.

Montseratt Cemetery, Paris

     

#675 Do What Works

     We tend to assume that we can control our world to keep us happy. So we attempt constant adjustments to the environment, others, ourselves, trying to seize & hang onto whatever feels good, and avoid all that feels bad or threatening. What gradually dawns on us is the fact that we're almost constantly uncomfortable, despite all our manoevres. 
     There are many dysfunctional responses to this steady state of unsatisfactoriness, all involve denial / avoidance / escapism: trance-like relentless pursuit of pleasure via materialism, hedonism, substance abuse, workaholism, & other simplistic belief (& non-belief) systems.

     An alternative is facing reality with as much clear awareness and acceptance as possible (both improve with practice). It's remarkably difficult to accept life's existential facts - that we cannot really control anything, especially things that truly matter: aging, sickness & death of those we love, including ourselves. No wonder we're so compulsive about distracting / deluding ourselves! But that too gets old. 
     Mindfulness practice is a gentle, natural, universal way of making friends with things as they are. Accepting reality with an open heart-mind is an amazing journey. As we progress along this path, life progressively changes for the better. "Better" is not what we expect or typically wish for, but it does become better and better. Keep practicing!

while he plays piano ... 37, rue de la bûcherie — 75005 Paris, France

#674 No Time to BE Mindful ???

     "Definitions of mindfulness ... focus upon a number of qualities

          (a) a deliberate intention to pay attention to momentary experience, 

          (b) a marked distinction from normal, everyday modes of consciousness, 

          (c) a clear focus on aspects of active investigation of moment-to-moment experience, 

          (d) continuity of a precise, dispassionate, non-evaluative, and sustained moment-to-moment awareness of immediate experience, and 

          (e) an attitude of openness, acceptance, kindness, curiosity and patience."

       Hofmann FG, Grossman P, Hinton DE. "Loving-Kindness and Compassion Meditation: Potential for Psychological Interventions." Clin Psychol Rev. 2011 November ; 31(7): 1126–1132. doi:10.1016/j.cpr.2011.07.003. 

     Since we tend to live "in our heads", theories are important, too important. We don't really consider BEING mindful in our own daily, moment-by-moment life - at least not now, maybe later, when we're not so busy ...... 

     Even sincere young people taking & apparently "enjoying" an 8-week MBSR course typically "don't get the chance" to practice between classes, often "get too busy" & drop out before finishing the course, and "don't get around" to filling out a one-page course evaluation.

     But mindfulness is NOT THEORETICAL, and it's not just another "add-on" to one's overcrowded litany of stuff to get done.  

     Mindfulness is about actually living RIGHT NOW within our most evolved operating system, with an open heart-mind. How can we not have time to live optimally?

How To Enter?

 

#670 We CAN Open Voluntarily, Intentionally

     but most of us need to undergo significant trauma before our minds and hearts will open, even for a short time. Hard nuts have to be cracked open.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.

 "Anthem" Leonard Cohen                          

 

Monet's garden, Giverny

#668 We Can Do Much Better Than "Quiet Desperation"

     Desperately hoping for luck, or special favors from god, nature, the universe is childishly silly, even from a religious / spiritual perspective. We waste our limited time & energies into trying to control largely or completely uncontrollable things & situations.
     Desperation feels like being a greyhound perpetually racing around the track after a fake fox, or like being a duck or buck during hunting season. Perpetually chasing or being chased feels anxious, fearful, tight, cold.

     Adult maturation to a large extent involves letting go of wishful, magical, egocentric thinking. Mindfulness practice trains us to accept things as they are now, with an open heart-mind. With this clarity, equanimity and loving-kindness, we can truly accept things we can't change, and intelligently change the things that can and need to be.

#667 Experiencing the Benefits of Meditation Practice

     "Gradually, by experiencing the benefits of concentration and insight first hand, you will gain confidence that you have the capacity to endure pain with equanimity, that you are able to let go of destructive habits, and that you are worthy of the joy of a deeply tranquil mind."

       Shaila Catherine "Wisdom Wide and Deep. A Practical Handbook for Mastering Jhana and Vipassana." Wisdom, Boston, 2011.

DavidAMWA   www.dpreview.com

#666 Practice - Perseverance - Embodiment

     "It is a natural law that actions have effects; even if your development is not as rapid as you would like, progress occurs through meditation."

       Shaila Catherine "Wisdom Wide and Deep. A Practical Handbook for Mastering Jhana and Vipassana." Wisdom, Boston, 2011.