#759 Savoring Mindfully

     Positive psychology defines "savoring" as "the process of learning to focus attention on positive events to increase one's sensitivity to naturally rewarding experiences, such as enjoying a beautiful nature scene or experiencing a sense of connection with a loved one." Garland EL et al. "Mindfulness-Oriented Recovery Enhancement for Chronic Pain and Prescription Opioid Misuse: Results From an Early-Stage Randomized Controlled Trial." Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 2014; DOI: 10.1037/a0035798

     This differs from how I use the term mindful savoring in teaching MBSR, the central focus of which is seeing the full scope of reality clearly, as it actually is. My use of this term overlaps with the definition of "connoisseur," and may best illustrated thus:
     A wine expert (sommelier) can "blind taste" a variety of wines and with great accuracy, provide details of the type(s) of wine, type of grapes, country of origin, perhaps even the specific vineyard and year of harvest, and how well this particular vintage/winery combination represents the region. With great enthusiasm, a wine connoisseur can provide considerably more details than this, and yet actually consume little if any wine (they usually spit it into a special container), and unless the wine is actually spoiled (eg "corked"), will not indicate whether or not s/he personally "likes" or "dislikes" it. 
     Mindful savoring is based, first & foremost on intimacy - a profound openness to & interest in, a kind of love if you will - an open mind & heart - toward all wines & wine-making in general. This is qualitatively different from rigid, reactive, black-&-white judgments / personal preferences ("I hate this" - or - "I crave this").
     The important mindful aspects of savoring: non-judgmental, open / transpersonal (vs narrow / personal) awareness & psychological flexibility (vs rigidity).

     Consider the effect on your quality of life were you to mindfully savor the innumerable people & phenomena you encountered - the richness of the infinite variety of experiences is unimaginable. 

     In contrast to mindful savoring, aren't we more prone to rigidly identify with our preferences? How unlikely are we to meet people / phenomena that we rate amazingly desirable ("must haves") or that we rate terribly undesirable ("must avoids") - very seldom, right? But don't the vast majority of people / phenomena fit in between - the vast numbers of "neutrals" we hardly notice or even try to avoid, having judged them "boring"? (Remember the "inn-crowd" in high school?)
     To the extent that we fail to mindfully savor, our life is dull & frustrating,filled with wanting, striving, waiting & disappointment.

     Psychological flexibility paves the way towards de-armoring, knowledge about & intimacy with ourself, others & life in general. Rigidity, the opposite of psychological flexibility, is an armored dead-end: https://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.com/2013/01/261-psychological-rigidity-i-will.html

    
     

#670 We CAN Open Voluntarily, Intentionally

     but most of us need to undergo significant trauma before our minds and hearts will open, even for a short time. Hard nuts have to be cracked open.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.

 "Anthem" Leonard Cohen                          

 

Monet's garden, Giverny

#546 Armor - Rigid, Antiquated, Isolating Protection

     Chronic muscular tension in our face (clenching, bruxing, splinted speech), neck, shoulders, upper back, lower back, fists, etc is one form of amoring. This is the most primitive form of armor, physically protecting the assumed fragile self from an assumed hostile world.
     More consciously, we tailor our speech & behavior to present a persona (theatrical mask) - how we'd like others to perceive us, hiding the "real me", assumed to be less- or frankly unacceptable.
     Underlying all of this, is our sense of self and our worldview. How aware are we of these two core aspects of our being? How much time and effort do we devote to actively, intentionally investigate "who am I?" and "what is this?"? Can one possibly live a congruent, "undivided" life if one avoids these basics?
     To the extent that we consciously, intentionally, actively OPEN ourselves to these fundamentals, we DE-ARMOR to ourselves AND others. Though initially this feels vulnerable, it is in fact a move towards mental health, maturation, genuine strength, & wisdom.

Jasmine, San Gimignano, Tuscany, Italy

#439 Armored for Life?

     An ideal state of being for helping professionals, particularly when helping people with existential & mental health-related issues, is "therapeutic presence." See: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2013/11/therapeutic-presence.html
     Clinicians, mentors, coaches, teachers, parents all share the common ideal of motivating people to improve their quality of life - "health promotion." The more they care about doing this, the less "neutral" or "objective" (disinterested in the results of their efforts) they may appear.
     Presenting facts & stats with a take-it-or-leave-it attitude is risk-free for the presenter (though deadly boring).
     Engaging with one's audience as a team with a common goal is risky, yet can nurture a positive, useful, motivating energy - for those with shared goals.
     Intellect by itself is a way of keeping things at a safe, theoretical distance - an effective barrier to engagement. Many of us are heavily protected (armored) from much of life - we live almost exclusively in our heads.
     Engagement is complete mind-heart-body-spirit involvement. The capacity to engage can be developed intentionally through mindfulness practice, which catalyzes a gentle, progressive process of de-armoring. 

     Many of us will remain armored for life, rigidly resisting all suggestions to de-armor as unscientific, impractical, a "sales pitch" etc. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/01/261-psychological-rigidity-i-will.html This is understandable, but tragic. See: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2013/08/promoting-healthy-personality.html

gordonpritchard   www.dpreview.com