#770 Relating to Pain Wisely

     Most of the time now, when I'm awake & lying on my back, there's an electric-current-like pulsating sharp pain in some part of my left leg, either locally eg in my upper thigh, or less often, radiating down along most of the leg as if into the bones of my feet. This is known as 'sciatica.' It's sharp, jabbing, varying in intensity, really 'grabs my attention.' While sciatica is dependent on the position of my lower back (vertebrae compressing the sensory nerve to my leg), adjusting my back's position itself causes pain in the lower back, & triggers sciatica as well. Sitting involves much less sciatic pain, and standing or walking are best, though hampered by a leg brace that's fixed straight & crutches.

     So what is my best option? How can I relate to pain wisely? First of all, after repeatedly changing the position of my lower back doesn't help or worsens the pain, at night I can simply be still, accept whatever pain there is, and after a while, I do fall asleep for a couple of hours. Then repeat until it's time to get up for the day. In the morning, I sit up and periodically stand up & walk about for a few minutes. Clearly, I do what is practical to directly eliminate or minimize the pain. This is simple self-care & self-compassion. After the 'doing' of simple practicalities, it's all about 'being' - authentically expressing who I am.

     This is where one's worldview & self-concept (often unexamined), play a powerful role. The subconscious has a powerful (mostly hidden) influence on one's life.
     If deep down, one believes that the universe is a meaningless machine, and we're but random slabs of meat, then it's natural to feel like a wounded animal, suffering alone for nothing.
     On the other hand, when we sense / remember that we're profoundly at home, unconditionally loved & intimately interconnected with everyone & everything, then adversities such as pain are small, temporary lessons helping us grow stronger & wiser.
     Mystics and others who've had profound direct experiences beyond this physical realm, suggest that the hardships we experience in this realm, are for the sole purpose of helping us evolve to higher levels of consciousness - ie are specifically tailored for our benefit. People who've had near death experiences (NDEs) repeatedly report that what might at the time feel like horrible events, are remembered as minor inconveniences compared to how much was learned & the ineffable benefits for ALL those involved. Three reports:
     “I’ve become more relaxed, there is very rarely anything that really makes me upset.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3Ow4sEW8D0
     “There’s just a sense that everyone’s going to be OK. Everything’s happening the way everything’s supposed to be happening. And we’re all taken care of, and that it’s all perfect the way that it’s happening.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTESmsletG4
      The purpose of life is to become a 'bigger container' so we're able to get closer & closer to the Light. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iNucPVPGw4

     Wisdom tells us that after doing everything that's reasonable to directly manage the pain, continuing to focus narrowly on the pain becomes the main cause of suffering. So instead, the wisest approach now is to whole-heartedly say 'yes,' accepting (rather than arguing with) present reality, and to welcome pain with genuine curiosity. Now we can hold the pain in 'spacious awareness.' This is like the sky fully accepting rain clouds, knowing that the sky is huge & timeless, and that rain clouds are small & transient.
     EVERYTHING CHANGES when we can clearly experience challenges NOT as deadly attacks, BUT as loving lessons to help us grow & evolve.
     This is also the secret to true happiness as we age, as we learn an impressive number & variety of challenging life lessons.

      “The easy path of aging is to become a thick-skinned, unbudging curmudgeon, a battle-axe. To grow soft and sweet is the harder way.” James Hillman

 

It’s better to feel pain,
than never feel at all.
The opposite of love’s
indifference.

So keep your head up

and love.

 
Lumineers

 

#746 Attention Theft

     Mindfulness is to be practiced continuously, otherwise, in our digital age, we're almost continuously mindless:

     "Every time you open your phone or your computer, your brain is walking onto a battleground. The aggressors are the architects of your digital world, and their weapons are the apps, news feeds, and notifications in your field of view every time you look at a screen.

     They are all attempting to capture your most scarce resource — your attention — and take it hostage for money. Your captive attention is worth billions to them in advertising and subscription revenue.

     This might sound familiar: In an idle moment you open your phone to check the time. 19 minutes later you regain consciousness in a completely random corner of your digital world: a stranger’s photo stream, a surprising news article, a funny YouTube clip. You didn’t mean to do that. What just happened?

     This is not your fault — it is by design.

     The digital rabbit hole you just tumbled down is funded by advertising, aimed at you. Almost every 'free' app or service you use depends on this surreptitious process of unconsciously turning your eyeballs into dollars, and they have built sophisticated methods of reliably doing it. You don’t pay money for using these platforms, but make no mistake, you are paying for them — with your time, your attention, and your perspective."

       Tobias Rose-Stockwell. "This Is How Your Fear and Outrage Are Being Sold for Profit

The story of how one metric has changed the way you see the world." https://medium.com/the-mission/the-enemy-in-our-feeds-e86511488de

#690 Interwoven Flowing

     “aboriginal languages [are] not so much noun-centered as they [are] verb-centered, trying to emphasize not the thing aspect of Creation but rather the pattern, flow and function aspect. … When Indian eyes look upon Creation, they see a much more fluid, transforming and interconnecting reality than Newton ever did, with his linear, billiard-ball chains of cause and effect.

     things [aren’t] separate at all … Instead, all things acted within complex webs of relationships. Whatever happened with one rippled out to touch and affect all others. If you talked about one, you were talking about all, and any point in their relationship would do. … the real essence of Creation lay in what was going on between things. That’s where attention [is required], to all the relationships that bind things together so strongly that a question about blueberries gets an answer about bears.”

       Rupert Ross. "Indigenous Healing. Exploring Traditional Paths." Penguin, Toronto, 2014.

#687 Worldview AND Behavior

     “To the ‘practical man’ the [philosophical questions] may seem irrelevant. But in fact they are not. It is in the light of our beliefs about the ultimate nature of reality that we formulate our conceptions of right and wrong; and it is in the light of our conceptions of right and wrong that we frame our conduct, not only in the relations of private life, but also in the sphere of politics and economics. So far from being irrelevant, our metaphysical beliefs are the finally determining factor in all our actions.”                                Aldous Huxley in Ends and Means

       Dana Sawyer “Huston Smith: Wisdomkeeper. Living the World’s Religions. The Authorized Biography of a 21st Century Spiritual Giant.” Fons Vitae, Louisville, KY, 2014

Gretel

#685 Shipwrecks, Throughout Life

      An unpredictable number of complete collapses & rebuildings from scratch, of all that we understand to be true about the world & ourselves, are normal throughout life.
     How else could an innocent baby possibly come to know, accept & integrate the full range of her own, other humans' & Nature's ways & capacities?

     "For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn't understand growth, it would look like destruction."
       Cynthia Ocelli                www.wisdomatwork.com

          Shipwrecks: http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=shipwrecks
          and  http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=shipwrecks
          and  http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/search?q=shipwrecks

Public Gardens, Halifax, NS

#645 Eyes, Mind, Heart - OPEN

               "The important thing,
               is not to stop questioning."                                 Einstein

     Our self-concept and worldview can too easily become small, rigid, fossilized. Yet there's so much to learn in this life. It's a terrible waste giving up on discovering 'who I am' and 'what's going on'. Curiosity, openness of mind and heart provide a vastly different life than shrinking into fear.

#548 Is being Cynical the same as Realistic?

     How often do we hear an uplifting story or an interesting plan of action quickly drowned out by someone's pessimistic or sarcastic putdown? Cynics believe that their worldview is accurate, and assume that the rest of us can't see how harsh life really is.
     Fear, anger & aggression dominates such peoples' lives - the egocentric, adversarial approach. And yes, life is indeed brutish in this primitive, yet all too common mode. The 2013 movie "August: Osage County" nicely illustrates this mindset within a family. This quality of relating is also common in the world's troubled hotspots, where groups have been slaughtering each other for generations. They clamor for revenge, "make the enemy pay", "make them suffer"! They don't understand that "doing more of what doesn't work, and expecting different results" is not just unreasonable, but the definition of insanity. But suggesting to either side that the "eye for an eye" approach hasn't, doesn't & won't work evokes indignant rage! Leaders of such warring groups may inspire rabid followers, but their obvious lack of emotional / spiritual intelligence ensures severe continuous widespread suffering.
     All the wisdom traditions guide us to let go of egocentric, adversarial orientation and open ourselves to a loving, nurturing relationship with all of humanity, all creatures, all of the world. This requires a qualitative shift in our operating system - from reptilian, to homo sapiens sapiens.
     From the evolved homo sapiens sapiens perspective, our more common, reptilian (fear-based egocentric adversarial) way of being appears ridiculous - and vice versa! Therefore, many aspects of mindfulness may initially seem somewhat puzzling or even counterintuitive.

Beast & Prey, Rome, Italy

#546 Armor - Rigid, Antiquated, Isolating Protection

     Chronic muscular tension in our face (clenching, bruxing, splinted speech), neck, shoulders, upper back, lower back, fists, etc is one form of amoring. This is the most primitive form of armor, physically protecting the assumed fragile self from an assumed hostile world.
     More consciously, we tailor our speech & behavior to present a persona (theatrical mask) - how we'd like others to perceive us, hiding the "real me", assumed to be less- or frankly unacceptable.
     Underlying all of this, is our sense of self and our worldview. How aware are we of these two core aspects of our being? How much time and effort do we devote to actively, intentionally investigate "who am I?" and "what is this?"? Can one possibly live a congruent, "undivided" life if one avoids these basics?
     To the extent that we consciously, intentionally, actively OPEN ourselves to these fundamentals, we DE-ARMOR to ourselves AND others. Though initially this feels vulnerable, it is in fact a move towards mental health, maturation, genuine strength, & wisdom.

Jasmine, San Gimignano, Tuscany, Italy

#539 What Things Arise during Sitting Meditation?

     Here's another question (koan) to ponder: "What sort of things keep coming up while we sit in meditation?"

     If we think about it, do these not ultimately boil down to "our reasons" why we're not worthy to receive AND not capable of providing unconditional love?

     And how do we handle these things?

Ken Dyball, National Geographic   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

#443 Our Self-concepts & Worldviews Must Mature

     Normal human psychological maturation or development is an iterative stepwise process of learning - an evolution of consciousness. We always have a self-concept & a worldview. Regardless how conscious or unaware we may be of these basic personal models of reality - these paradigms - they powerfully guide & shape our lives. Our life experiences in turn gradually modify - and at times, traumatically destroy - the current working paradigms, and so we must gradually erect a more reasonably accurate, more workable model. Then further life experiences gradually or suddenly force further renos, and on it goes, in repeated cycles.
     Life transitions are not rare, but occur constantly. Even normal transitions - eg puberty, menopause, retirement - are variably traumatic. Death of loved ones, though also a "normal" part of life, can be very traumatic - a veritable "shipwreck." How well we manage the constant upgrading of our self-concept & worldview paradigms is of fundamental importance - it determines the quality & direction of our lives. We can accomplish this work intentionally, wisely, mindfully.

     See "Beyond 'Stress Management' - Resilience for Real Life": http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/07/361-beyond-stress-management-resilience.html
     "Adult Psychosocial Development & Maturation": http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2012/08/adult-psychosocial-development.html
     "Readiness for Change": http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/11/436-readiness-for-change-is-pivotal.html
     "Stories of Me, Myself, & I": http://www.johnlovas.com/2012/05/stories-of-me-myself-and-i.html 

 

Two Hands   www.dpreview.com

#431 Transformative Power of Acceptance - Nonjudgmentally Embracing Change

     "some have asserted that cancer may be one of the most challenging diseases to treat because of the various levels of human experience that it penetrates, from the physical, to the psychological, and spiritual. However, psychological reactions to a cancer diagnosis are not exclusively negative. For example, a diagnosis may actually provoke patients to begin an internal search for greater awareness and a sense of meaning and purpose in life. In accordance, reexamining the cancer experience as a potentially positive psychosocial transition has emerged as a focus of research interest. A psychosocial transition is a major life event that causes a process whereby individuals gradually change their worldview, expectations, and plans. It has been suggested that people may make sense of their diagnosis by finding positive benefit(s) in their situation.

     Related processes have been studied under various names, including post-traumatic growth (PTG), stress-related growth, benefit finding, adversarial growth, positive change, thriving, personal growth, positive adjustment, and transformation.

     ... PTG is comprised of three broad categories: perceived changes in self, a changed sense of relationship with others, and a changed philosophy of life. The mechanisms by which an intervention may facilitate the development of PTG may be through taking advantage of the trauma-induced disruption in the person’s life to introduce a transition towards new beneficial organization compared to one’s beliefs before the trauma."

       Garland SN et al. A non-randomized comparison of mindfulness-based stress reduction and healing arts programs for facilitating post-traumatic growth and spirituality in cancer outpatients. Support Care Cancer 2007; 15(8): 949-61.

     In Mindfulness practices we intentionally, skillfully, gently, progressively penetrate all levels of our common human experience with awareness and acceptance, embracing it all. Only without expectations can we keep finding pleasant surprises.

     See also: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/07/361-beyond-stress-management-resilience.html

 

On my way to work this week

#371 Life as Therapy & Therapist

     "Therapeutic alliance is the prototypical common factor shared by nearly all psychotherapies. It is currently understood as involving

          1) an agreement between therapist & patient on the goals of treatment, 

          2) the tasks needed to accomplish those goals, and 

          3) a sense of a personal bond between therapist & patient." 

       Schnur JB, Montgomery GH. A systematic review of therapeutic alliance, group cohesion, empathy, and goal consensus/collaboration in psychotherapeutic interventions in cancer: Uncommon factors? Clin Psychol Rev 2010; 30(2): 238-47. 

     Isn't each one of us learning to become whole, healed, mature, evolved, perhaps even wise? If so, we each need to develop a therapeutic alliance with our life in this world, to 

          1) come to an understanding about the meaning, goal or purpose of our life;
          2) form a reasonable plan to accomplish this; and finally
          3) learn to consciously, open-heartedly embrace the "full catastrophe" - all that life brings us.
 
     "Free Will"? - see: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/07/373-how-free-is-our-free-will.html  

bijan64   www.dpreview.com

#366 Invitation to Live Life Fully - "Be All that You Can Be"

     We have a "… diminished view of ourselves as isolated, as separate, as inadequate, as that which so often leads us in fear to ... keep 'the fullness of life at bay while we negotiate our way into a safe, thin, colorless cage.'
     (Mindfulness training) is nothing less than an invitation to liberate ourselves from the habitual and confining prisons of our own creation***, to begin to listen to the inner callings of the heart, and to literally cook in the fires of direct experience, and in doing so, to grow ripe and savory and complete in who we actually are." 
       Jon Kabat-Zinn

        Santorelli S. “Heal thyself. Lessons on mindfulness in medicine.” Bell Tower, NY, 1999. 

     *** See "Growth" : http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/05/327-ideas-about-happiness-vs-real-thing.html

 

lex32   www.dpreview.com

#358 Evolution of Consciousness - Individually & Collectively

     “The two extreme worldviews are probably represented by materialism and the perennial philosophy, the central core of understanding common to the great religions. The materialistic perspective suggests that life and consciousness are accidental byproducts of matter, and that their evolution is driven by the interplay of random events and the instinct for survival. The purpose of human life and evolution is solely what humanity decides it is.
     The perennial philosophy, which lies at the heart of the great religions and is increasingly said to represent their deepest thinking, suggests that consciousness is central and its development is the primary goal of existence. This development will culminate in the condition variously known in different traditions as enlightenment, liberation, salvation, moksha, or satori.
     The descriptions of this condition show remarkable similarities across cultures and centuries. Its essence is the recognition that the distortions of our usual state of mind are such that we have been suffering from a case of mistaken identity. Our true nature is something much greater, an aspect of a universal consciousness, Self, Being, Mind, or God. The awakening to this true nature, claimed a Zen master, is ‘the direct awarenesss that you are more than this puny body or limited mind. Stated negatively, it is the realization that the universe is not external to you. Positively, it is experiencing the universe as yourself.’ … Typical is the claim by an Englishman that to realize our true identity is to ‘find that the I, one’s real, most intimate self, pervades the universe and all other beings. That the mountains, and the sea, and the stars are a part of one’s body, and that one’s soul is in touch with the souls of all creatures.’ Nor are such descriptions the exclusive province of mystics. They have been echoed by philosophers, psychologists, and physicists. ‘Out of my experience … one final conclusion dogmatically emerges,’ said the great American philosopher William James (1960). ‘There is a continuum of cosmic consciousness against which our individuality builds but accidental forces, and into which our several minds plunge as into a mother sea.’
     From this perspective, evolution is a vast journey of growing self-awareness and a return to our true identity. Our current crises are seen as expressions that arise from our mistaken identity. But they can also be seen as self-created challenges that may speed us on our evolutionary journey toward ultimate self-recognition.”

       Walsh R. Human survival: A psychoevolutionary analysis. ReVision 1985; 8: 7-10. (available for free on the web)

 

fvalduga   www.dpreview.com

#354 Upgrading Models of Reality - Traumatic OR Gentle?

     We tend to ignore (avoidance) perceptions that don't fit our current worldview (ideas, self-concepts, preconceptions, diagnostic boxes). So we live our lives according to, identify with, & understandably cling to, stunningly simple models of reality. One way or another, we squeeze all perceptions to fit this model. Were it not so, we'd remain perpetually amazed & immobilized by this incomprehensibly complex, rapidly changing universe.
     But as time passes, we're forced to recognize discrepancies between reality & our models. Periodically, this disconnect completely overwhelms our model, causing our entire current worldview to crumble ("suffer a breakdown", "loss of faith", "existential crisis", "shipwreck" etc) and we're forced to build a new, more adequate model that's a closer approximation of reality. Initially, this can be quite traumatic, yet this is an absolutely normal part of maturation - see: http://www.johnlovas.com/2013/06/shipwrecks-meaning-meaning-making.html

     Mindfulness practice is an evidence-based, surprisingly gentle, effective way of learning about reality, by intentionally, gently, slowly but progressively approaching & embracing our entire experience, including fears, and thus learning to be at home with & finding joy in this very life. It's a very effective way of constantly, intentionally upgrading our operating system, so our software doesn't need to crash.

Udayan Sankar Pal   www.facebook.com/UdayanSankarPal

#339 Depth of Interest - Document, Program, or Operating System?

     If we're creating a Word document and something goes awry, there could be something wrong with the document itself. So we could "save as", give the document a new name, and start working on it again.
     Or the problem might be one level higher - the Word program itself might be messed-up. We'd have to fix or replace the Word program.
     Or the problem could be one level higher still - the Operating System (OS) might be out of date. If so, most current programs (and their documents) would be out of sync with the old OS. Installing a new OS is a much more profound change, fundamentally changing the whole look and feel of the computer, all programs, and all documents.
     Human beings want life's problems to be quick & easy to fix (document level). We dislike change, especially major change. We'd prefer to surgically excise only one small part of our lives that's unwanted or isn't working, but keep everything else exactly the same thank you very much. But very few problems are like a splinter in the thumb - pull out the splinter, thumb quickly heals, end of story.
     Sometimes, trying harder with what one has is just not enough eg sometimes we need to upgrade our skills by taking a specific course on a specific topic. So our lives remain more or less the same, but now we can perform a new task because of this limited course (program level - instal new software).
     Life presents MUCH greater challenges at times - we can feel overwhelmed, scared, sad or just plain burned out. Our whole worldview & self-concept can completely shatter - we can undergo a complete  "shipwreck" - see: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=shipwreck  This is a program level disturbance, NOT the end of the world!
     Program level disturbances require program level interventions. Your computer (hardware) is good for several OS upgrades. So is your body!! You will inevitably go through several major worldview & self-concept transitions in your life (starting school, moving, falling in love, starting a new job, losing a job, ending a relationship, retirement, death of a loved one, serious illness, etc). When one door closes, another opens - we get used to the old OS, but the new OS is always better in new, surprising ways.
     Mindfulness practice allows us to perceive ourselves and the world increasingly clearly, and quite naturally we gradually perceive everything differently, as though everything had changed. We gradually become better synchronized with life as it actually is. Mindfulness practice is transformational - continuous incremental upgrading of our OS - experiential learning at the worldview & self-concept level. When we do continuous minor upgrades, there are fewer or no meltdowns. Mindfulness practice promotes & ensures this natural evolution towards wisdom - see: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=wisdom

vlee1009   www.dpreview.com

#334 Odd Statements, Self-knowledge & Addiction

     Many suggestions and statements in the mindfulness literature may - initially - sound odd, intriguing, puzzling or just plain irritating. We measure all information based on our current worldview and self-concept. If new information does not fit with our current worldview and self-concept, there's cognitive dissonance, which is uncomfortable. 
     We don't like being uncomfortable. So instead of creatively approaching novel information, we try to avoid new data that threatens the status quo: ignore it or reinterpret (distort) it to fit our preconceptions. Only as a last resort, do we elect to grow as a person, mature - upgrade, remodel & expand our worldview & self-concept to better fit reality. 
     There's an addictive quality to our opinions, concepts - including self-concept, and worldview. They have a magical spell quality to them - like a "lucky coin" we feel we have to carry in our pockets at all times - or else!!! We identify with these - we think that we are literally composed of these ephemeral "things". We fear ego-death when we contemplate upgrading our self-concept or worldview. But of course we don't disappear or become diminished in any way when we change our minds about any or all of these. In fact, we become more at home in the universe, the more we open up to reality as it truly is. It's a progressive unburdening to drop old superstitions and evolve as an intelligent mature human being.

Dale Chihuly   http://www.chihulygardenandglass.com/

#321 Fear of: Change, Loss of Security, Loss of Community, Loss of Old Sense of Self ...

     Fear is a very basic emotion; Love is its opposite. 
     Fear causes us to shrink away from reality as it is, to shrivel up, to become small, heavy, rigid, isolated, out of touch with reality. 
     Love allows us to expand and embrace reality as it is, to blossom, become light, porous, flexible, to engage the universe with an open mind-heart.
     If we allow ourselves to mature, or better yet, actively take steps to mature as conscious human beings, we will continuously experience changes in how we perceive our selves and our worldview. This is the normal process of healthy adult maturation. An intelligent adult should not expect to freeze their views on life's most meaningful questions. Life is complex and ever-changing - so are we.
     A loving, mature, intelligent community encourages growth and maturation among its members. This is the kind of community one requires if one is to become a fully functional, mature member of a civilized society.

     See also: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/04/313-being-stressed-out-is-optional.html

Luis Marden - National Geographic

#174 Stuck? There IS a way out AND someone CAN help you!

     We've all seen overviews of individuals hopelessly lost, stuck in a maze. Because of our vantage point - the big picture - the way out or desired destination is clearly possible.

     It's sadly common for people to get stuck on life's journey. Many live 'lives of quiet desperation.' Yet there are far greater possibilities than Freud's neurosis or 'ordinary unhappiness'! Unfortunately, adhering dogmatically to ANY worldview - even "clever nihilism" - gives one a highly addictive sense of pseudo-control. Like all addictions, the control is fake, benefits short-lived, yet hard to outgrow.

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."                    Hamlet, William Shakespeare

     Isn't life all about taking turns being stuck in a maze and finding one's way out, then having learned the overview, the bigger picture, we can help others out? Sometimes we require the help of therapists to extricate ourselves from the maze. But therapists themselves may suffer from, and require outside help for, the very conditions they treat in others.

     "When we accept the possibility of all things, ... then all things become possible. Trust builds a bridge between the known and the unknown and then allows us to temporarily cross into the other world. Faith does not manifest itself as acceptance of some dogma; instead it involves a willingness to go past the current limits of our knowing. The new world (ie that yielded by transformation) may not be revealed or reached without surrender and faith.”

       Hart T. "From information to transformation. Education for the evolution of consciousness." Peter Lang Publishing, NY, 2009.

     SEE ALSO: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/03/87-approach-embrace-challenges.html
     AND: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/03/85-phoenix-process.html