#376 Embracing Our One Precious Life

     People commonly mistake meditation practice for self-hypnosis - a way to escape real life by going into a trance & hang out in "a happy place".

     But meditation is the exact opposite of escaping reality. Meditation is a gentle way of waking up, with eyes, mind & heart wide open, and embracing reality every bit of it - joys, sorrows, as well as regular daily aspects - "the full catastrophe". To give our real life a grizzly-bear hug with a thundering 'YES!' from every cell in our body.

     So we should be aware of the "temptation, and inherent danger, of focusing exclusively on the positive aspects of self-development, whilst ignoring the challenges, struggles and losses which were also part of the growth process. Even the field of positive psychology acknowledges that nobody is happy all the time, that subjective well being is a mixture of both positive affect and negative affect and that whilst profound personal growth may occur during adulthood, it is often preceded by adversity or trauma. ... a psychological account which can embrace these contrasting aspects of change could enhance our understanding of the processes of growth." 

       Mercer J. Exploring the processes of self-development encountered by adult returners to higher education: A lifespan psychology perspective. Psychology Teaching Review 2010; 16(1): 24-36.

#371 Life as Therapy & Therapist

     "Therapeutic alliance is the prototypical common factor shared by nearly all psychotherapies. It is currently understood as involving

          1) an agreement between therapist & patient on the goals of treatment, 

          2) the tasks needed to accomplish those goals, and 

          3) a sense of a personal bond between therapist & patient." 

       Schnur JB, Montgomery GH. A systematic review of therapeutic alliance, group cohesion, empathy, and goal consensus/collaboration in psychotherapeutic interventions in cancer: Uncommon factors? Clin Psychol Rev 2010; 30(2): 238-47. 

     Isn't each one of us learning to become whole, healed, mature, evolved, perhaps even wise? If so, we each need to develop a therapeutic alliance with our life in this world, to 

          1) come to an understanding about the meaning, goal or purpose of our life;
          2) form a reasonable plan to accomplish this; and finally
          3) learn to consciously, open-heartedly embrace the "full catastrophe" - all that life brings us.
 
     "Free Will"? - see: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/07/373-how-free-is-our-free-will.html  

bijan64   www.dpreview.com

#65 Embracing the "Full Catastrophe"

     Zorba the Greek led a tumultuous messy life, and loved all of it - the "full catastrophe" - passionately. Most of us tend to pick and choose, so are not really engaged with our lives - and suffer as a consequence. A famous Zen master gave one advice: "Only have no preferences."

     "We tend to approach pleasurable opportunities to promote well-being and survival, and conversely avoid or withdraw from painful experiences as protection from harm. This biological approach-avoid dichotomy underlies all motivational tendencies, forms the basis of emotion and promotes adaptation.

     We're biologically and culturally programmed to seek pleasure and avoid discomfort."

     But life includes not only pleasure, but also pain, as well as uncomfortable periods of growth that take "place beyond one’s comfort zone - in liminality - a state of in-between-ness & ambiguity.
     Avoidance of liminality is the basic obstacle to engagement. Mindfulness practice cultivates acceptance of, and the ability to work within liminality, and should therefore improve engagement."
     Lovas J, Gold E, Neish N, Whitehorn D, Holexa D. Cultivating Engagement through Mindfulness Practice. Poster Presentation, American Dental Education Association annual meeting, March 19, 2012, Orlando, FL.
 
     “‘Our overall psychological difficulties are roughly equivalent to the suffering that we’re either unwilling or unable to consciously face.’ A healthy person has access to his dark side without being overwhelmed by it; he is not afraid to face vulnerabilities and is quick to admit mistakes. The opposite tends to be true for the troubled soul.”
     Glickman M. “Beyond the breath. Extraordinary mindfulness through whole-body Vipassana meditation.” Journey Editions, Boston, 2002.

Photo: Rick Turner   http://www.naturephotographers.net/enter.html