#669 Who's Responsible If Not Me?

     It's fascinating to observe our fellow human beings. Even in situations where one would imagine that anyone would be completely happy and grateful, one sees a surprising proportion of people showing obvious signs of sadness, disappointment, and downright misery. Life just does not measure up to their hopes and expectations, no matter how fine it is. A sadly large proportion of us assume that there's a mechanical connection between our happiness and our idea of what a perfect world is. Of course this is completely off base.
     One's happiness is entirely dependent on one's ability to hold all of life in a loving embrace, regardless of what's going on. This is precisely the opposite of what most of us think. We are entirely responsible for our attitude, which has nothing whatsoever to do with what's happening on the outside or even inside of us. It's all about us not just having, but being unconditional love. And, "whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're right."

#665 Negativity isn't Enough

     "... natural negativity bias ... is our hardwired tendency to notice and amplify threats. It explains why so many people tend to believe that human life is brutal and cold, despite all evidence to the contrary. Negativity bias is the essence of natural selection: people who run away from a man with a gun or avoid a car running a red light are more likely to pass on their genes to the next generation. And these harrowing moments are more likely to burn themselves into our neurons than the gentle ones, so that we can avoid similar threats in the future." Jeremy Adam Smith "You Can Count on Goodness" Shambhala Sun, May 2015

     So, many (most?) of us are "nattering nabobs of negativity". Like those who are drowning, we'll latch onto anything that floats by - strongly-held opinions, dogmas etc. Even something as dysfunctional as cynicism seems more secure than "not knowing". But the fact is that we don't know much, and right within this space of "liminality" is where learning, creativity and growth happen. While rigid adherence to a jaundiced philosophy of life, though common, is pathological. See: http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=rigidity
     Instead of rigidly closing down in the face of uncertainty, we can thrive in our complex, ever-changing reality using a very different approach: bravery, curiosity, openness, resilience, perseverance and love. We can intentionally, progressively let go of fear-based rigidity, and learn to live vibrantly, embracing life as it is. See: http://www.johnlovas.com/2015/04/heart-mind-porousness-meditation.html

Gretel

#658 Favorite Meditation Practice?

     Senior meditation teacher, Sylvia Boorstein, uses:

               "'May I meet this moment fully; may I meet it as a friend,'

     as a tool for cultivating concentration in formal practice and as a response throughout the day to moments of 
     challenge.'"

        Shambhala Sun, May 2015                      www.lionsroar.com/category/shambhala-sun/

ShopVac   www.dpreview.com

#607 Riding Liminality & Loving Life

     How do I relate to my breath? When we start mindfulness practice, focusing on the feel of our own breath can evoke anxiety, rather than the hoped for sense of peace. Gradually, we learn to "surf" or "ride the breath" - a kind of balancing act on top of a constantly moving, flowing, ball of breathing energy.
     Likewise, how do I relate to all other manifestations of constant change - directly to liminality itself? Every fraction of second we're in the now - straddling the past and future. We're not quite sure what just happened, and we sure don't know what's about to happen! Can we learn to surf liminality? Can we learn to ride uncertainty's raw energy? It's the only way to transcend constant anxiety!
     Such a direct, intentional, curious, nonjudgmental, playful engagement with / surfing on / flowing with the energy of liminality itself seems to be the ultimate basis for dismantling anxiety. 
     Anxiety is ineffective striving to avoid challenges - fearful avoidance.
     Mindfulness is brave, competent "leaning into" life-as-it is, difficulties & all - lovingly embracing life. I'm not aware of a better alternative.

Bess - Dec 19, 2014

#594 Invitation To Practice Mindfulness

     "We may long for wholeness, but the truth is that it is already here and already ours. The practice of mindfulness holds the possibility of not just a fleeting sense of contentment, but a true embracing of a deeper unity that envelops and permeates our lives. … you are invited to learn how to transform your relationship to the way you think, feel, love, work, and play – and thereby awaken to and embody more completely who you really are."

       Kabat-Zinn J. “Mindfulness for Beginners. Reclaiming the Present Moment – and Your Life.” Sounds True, Boulder, 2012.

 

Antonio Celso Lima Mollo, National Geographic   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

#558 NEITHER Avoiding, Stopping, NOR Pushing Away

     "The reality is that we are a river - a living energy system of sensations & sights & sounds, an energy system of changing feelings & thoughts. And the point of meditation and mindfulness isn't to stop the river - which you can't do.

                    "You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf."

     That's really the point of mindfulness and meditation - to allow the experience you're having, which is always changing - and to find your composure in it."

       Jack Kornfield: The Case for Mindfulness and Wisdom in Law
       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLV4Cty06Q4

 

#484 Consciously Embracing Energy

     Moment-by-moment we make an incredible number of decisions automatically - without conscious awareness of making any of them: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=avoidance
      A bit more awareness reveals that we prefer personal safety over danger, personal benefit over detriment, and maintaining status quo over growth. While the first two generally (not always) make sense, the last one is detrimental to us long-term, & flat out boring short-term. Embracing (instead of avoiding) growth-change is plugging directly into the vital energy of life.
     By becoming conscious about how our mind works (meta-awareness), we can override suboptimal automatic decisions. This wake-up call is essential for our overall quality of life - the more awake & aware, the better.

Elena Shumilova  http://www.flickr.com/photos/75571860@N06/11874722676/

#477 Freedom from Slavery

     "12 Years A Slave" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2024544/  is a powerful movie - a must see. The soul-crushing power of hatred & fear is masterfully illustrated.

     It's very useful to deeply reflect on how each one of us might be involved in very similar power dynamics. Are we slaves to our past history - personal, racial, religious? If so, we could be equally enslaved as oppressors or oppressed. The bullied and those who do the bullying, as the film suggested, are equally imprisoned by this toxic mindset.

     It takes some time in sitting meditation before we realize how much of our time & energy is spent running - from or after. It matters not what, the issue is that we're compulsively running and we do so out of fear. And most of us avoid going deep enough to investigate, and face directly what we're afraid of. Yet it's only by looking at our fear face-to-face, accepting it, & embracing it, that it is tamed, and we are able to stand up straight as noble adult human beings and be able to see things clearly, rather than as obstacles, threats or must-haves.

Flower Clouds by Odilon Redon

#431 Transformative Power of Acceptance - Nonjudgmentally Embracing Change

     "some have asserted that cancer may be one of the most challenging diseases to treat because of the various levels of human experience that it penetrates, from the physical, to the psychological, and spiritual. However, psychological reactions to a cancer diagnosis are not exclusively negative. For example, a diagnosis may actually provoke patients to begin an internal search for greater awareness and a sense of meaning and purpose in life. In accordance, reexamining the cancer experience as a potentially positive psychosocial transition has emerged as a focus of research interest. A psychosocial transition is a major life event that causes a process whereby individuals gradually change their worldview, expectations, and plans. It has been suggested that people may make sense of their diagnosis by finding positive benefit(s) in their situation.

     Related processes have been studied under various names, including post-traumatic growth (PTG), stress-related growth, benefit finding, adversarial growth, positive change, thriving, personal growth, positive adjustment, and transformation.

     ... PTG is comprised of three broad categories: perceived changes in self, a changed sense of relationship with others, and a changed philosophy of life. The mechanisms by which an intervention may facilitate the development of PTG may be through taking advantage of the trauma-induced disruption in the person’s life to introduce a transition towards new beneficial organization compared to one’s beliefs before the trauma."

       Garland SN et al. A non-randomized comparison of mindfulness-based stress reduction and healing arts programs for facilitating post-traumatic growth and spirituality in cancer outpatients. Support Care Cancer 2007; 15(8): 949-61.

     In Mindfulness practices we intentionally, skillfully, gently, progressively penetrate all levels of our common human experience with awareness and acceptance, embracing it all. Only without expectations can we keep finding pleasant surprises.

     See also: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/07/361-beyond-stress-management-resilience.html

 

On my way to work this week

#376 Embracing Our One Precious Life

     People commonly mistake meditation practice for self-hypnosis - a way to escape real life by going into a trance & hang out in "a happy place".

     But meditation is the exact opposite of escaping reality. Meditation is a gentle way of waking up, with eyes, mind & heart wide open, and embracing reality every bit of it - joys, sorrows, as well as regular daily aspects - "the full catastrophe". To give our real life a grizzly-bear hug with a thundering 'YES!' from every cell in our body.

     So we should be aware of the "temptation, and inherent danger, of focusing exclusively on the positive aspects of self-development, whilst ignoring the challenges, struggles and losses which were also part of the growth process. Even the field of positive psychology acknowledges that nobody is happy all the time, that subjective well being is a mixture of both positive affect and negative affect and that whilst profound personal growth may occur during adulthood, it is often preceded by adversity or trauma. ... a psychological account which can embrace these contrasting aspects of change could enhance our understanding of the processes of growth." 

       Mercer J. Exploring the processes of self-development encountered by adult returners to higher education: A lifespan psychology perspective. Psychology Teaching Review 2010; 16(1): 24-36.

#369 Ready for Change?

     "According to the transtheoretical model of change readiness for change is represented across a continuum, from 

precontemplation (denial or minimization of a problem),

contemplation (considering making change), 

action (actively engaged in change), and 

maintenance (efforts taken to maintain changes already made)."

       Jakupcak M et al. Readiness for change predicts VA Mental Healthcare utilization among Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans. J Trauma Stress 2013; 26(1): 165-8. 

#344 All Embracing Compassion

Until he extends the circle
of his compassion
to all living things,
man himself will not find peace.                      Albert Schweitzer

poppyjk   www.dpreview.com

#341 Not Constantly Up, Happy, Energized?

     "unless plagued with a mood disorder, our evaluation of the future depends largely on the situation. Yet, there is this psycho-spiritual pressure in the air of having to be positive, jovial, and enthusiastic all the time. ... this Zeitgeist (was) in part created by positive psychology. ... (this) artificially created positive mentality has contributed to the housing and banking crisis. Everybody involved seemed to have thrown caution – and ultimately bushels of money -- out the window. Usually well-balanced people were part of a groupthink: 'I believe, and therefore it will be.' "
     From a mindfulness perspective "happiness is not synonymous with or dependent on positive feelings. Instead happiness is having a good relationship with the whole of life, with the light and the darkness, the good and the bad, the concrete and the indefinable. How could there be lasting happiness if we exclude a part of life that is real and that serves a purpose. This understanding should inoculate everybody against the pressure of having to feel optimistic all the time."

       Andrea F. Polard Psy. D. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/unified-theory-happiness/201306/cognitive-optimism-versus-zen-wisdom

 

Uloo   www.dpreview.com

#86 Facing Basic Fear

     “I have treated many hundreds of patients. Among those in the second half of life ... there has not been one whose problem in the last resort was not that of finding a religious (spiritual ***) outlook on life.”
      "Shrinking away from death is something unhealthy and abnormal which robs the second half of life of its purpose."             Carl Jung

     “The secret cause of all suffering is mortality itself, which is the prime condition of life. It cannot be denied if life is to be affirmed … The conquest of the fear of death is the recovery of life’s joy.”          Joseph Campbell

     Humor: "I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes." and "Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing."     Anon

     *** See: http://www.johnlovas.com/2012/04/psychospiritual-technologies.html 

#65 Embracing the "Full Catastrophe"

     Zorba the Greek led a tumultuous messy life, and loved all of it - the "full catastrophe" - passionately. Most of us tend to pick and choose, so are not really engaged with our lives - and suffer as a consequence. A famous Zen master gave one advice: "Only have no preferences."

     "We tend to approach pleasurable opportunities to promote well-being and survival, and conversely avoid or withdraw from painful experiences as protection from harm. This biological approach-avoid dichotomy underlies all motivational tendencies, forms the basis of emotion and promotes adaptation.

     We're biologically and culturally programmed to seek pleasure and avoid discomfort."

     But life includes not only pleasure, but also pain, as well as uncomfortable periods of growth that take "place beyond one’s comfort zone - in liminality - a state of in-between-ness & ambiguity.
     Avoidance of liminality is the basic obstacle to engagement. Mindfulness practice cultivates acceptance of, and the ability to work within liminality, and should therefore improve engagement."
     Lovas J, Gold E, Neish N, Whitehorn D, Holexa D. Cultivating Engagement through Mindfulness Practice. Poster Presentation, American Dental Education Association annual meeting, March 19, 2012, Orlando, FL.
 
     “‘Our overall psychological difficulties are roughly equivalent to the suffering that we’re either unwilling or unable to consciously face.’ A healthy person has access to his dark side without being overwhelmed by it; he is not afraid to face vulnerabilities and is quick to admit mistakes. The opposite tends to be true for the troubled soul.”
     Glickman M. “Beyond the breath. Extraordinary mindfulness through whole-body Vipassana meditation.” Journey Editions, Boston, 2002.

Photo: Rick Turner   http://www.naturephotographers.net/enter.html

#37 Embracing Challenges

     “But the amazing thing, which you can find out only by practicing mindfulness fairly regularly over time, is that paying attention in a particular way to the very sensations, emotions, and thoughts that together constitute the experience of pain – in the present moment and as nonjudgmentally as possible (which may be very judgmental a good deal of the time) – actually has within it the seeds of freedom from suffering. This is totally counterintuitive I know; nonetheless, it seems to be the case…."          Jon Kabat-Zinn

 
       Gardner-Nix, J. “The mindfulness solution to pain. Step-by-step techniques for chronic pain management.” New Harbinger Publications Inc, Oakland CA, 2009.

Photo: Uloo   www.dpreview.com