#766 BASICS #1: Recognizing the Need for a Qualitative Shift

      Welcome to a new series on my humble ideas of the basic principles or premises of learning to become more mindful. 

     It seems we as individuals, and industrialized societies, are becoming busier & busier. Does this mean that we and our human race are becoming proportionately more deeply happy, healthy, fulfilled & whole? Does working harder & longer, becoming more specialized, ie doing more & more of the same bring about what we need?
      Actually, rates of anxiety, depression, cynicism, drug-abuse/addictions, burnout & suicide are markedly increasing, with endless wars/conflicts, misogyny, racism, mass migration of refugees, hunger/starvation (all while we in 'developed' countries waste ~33% of our food), rising numbers of dictatorships / elected dictator-wannabe's, & escalating decimation of all living species / forests / air / water / Arctic sea ice. So yes, we are busier & busier - making ourselves & each other suffer.

      "The world has achieved brilliance without wisdom, power without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants." Omar Bradley, American World War II field commander

      “We are no longer in a period of history when the inner journey is solely about our own liberation: it is about taking part in a global shift in consciousness. It is about preparing us to act, with compassion, on behalf of this planet and the beings around us.
      My prayer for this world is that we find meaning & purpose in uprooting the deeper causes of our earth’s environmental malaise — the inner causes of aggression, greed & delusion — and train in establishing the deeper causes of peace & sustainable living — compassion, kindness, contentment & wisdom. I believe everyone on this earth is capable of finding the courage to go the distance.” Lama Willa Miller

     “No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it.” Albert Einstein

     When we become "just wise enough to know that we know nothing, when we've reached the pinnacle of success – the highest position possible for us – but find ourselves alone, unrelated, our life meaningless. … When our ‘reality function’ – the feet-on-the-ground’ ability – is threatened, an encounter with the dark side … is the corrective.
     This is a terrible moment in the life of an intelligent man (or woman). He now sees that his level of consciousness, his perspective on life, will not support him. He has explored discipline and self-consciousness only to find them a dead end. This exploration is absolutely essential in one’s evolution, and the man who has not trodden that road is not eligible for the moment of despair that is also the moment of redemption and enlightenment. This is the midlife crisis, the mute suffering of existential man, the dark night of the soul. This is the experience of the intelligent man, the heroic man, the one who has reached the goal of modern consciousness. This is what happens when you reach the top of the ladder only to find that it was set up against the wrong wall. It is the very best man (or woman) who suffers this Hamlet crisis. Lesser men (or women) take refuge in guilt at their inadequacy, or blame their environment, or find yet another set of windmills to vanquish – anything but face the terror of seeing that (their current) consciousness is not bearable, no matter how finely developed it is.
     It is a compliment of the highest order when a man finds that he cannot go farther and that his life is an irredeemable tragedy. His ego consciousness is stalemated, and this stalemate is the only medicine that will drive him out of the Hamlet tragedy and inspire him into a new consciousness.
     A fault of this magnitude cannot be repaired, but can be healed only by finding a whole new level of consciousness from which to function.
     … the ego-centered man fails; (one) who learns a center of gravity greater than himself, redeems that failure. If one were a genius the process would be inspirational, but for most of us it is experienced as the torture at the end of the rope. This divine/hellish point is the critical moment that can make or break the rest of a man’s life.”
      Robert A. Johnson. “Transformation. Understanding the Three Levels of Masculine Consciousness.” HarperOne, 1991.

     The option to make this qualitative shift in consciousness comes about when it finally dawns on us that we EITHER remain stuck, frustrated, getting nowhere - OR - we intentionally start becoming wiser individuals & societies. One way of doing the latter is by seriously practicing mindfulness.

      “The easy path of aging is to become a thick-skinned, unbudging curmudgeon, a battle-axe. To grow soft and sweet is the harder way.” James Hillman

 

www.BuddhaDoodles.shop

#671 What Feels Healthy?

     Fear shuts us down. It makes our heart-mind, our whole body feel tight, constricted, stiff, rigid, cold, shaky, lousy.

     What do we fear? We fear constant change, aging, sickness and death. We fear having little or no control over our lives, others' lives, our stuff, our world. We fear meaninglessness.
     Fear is feeling unloved. Above all else we want unconditional love.

     What if each of us is the SOURCE of unconditional love?

     How does it feel while we radiate unconditional kindness towards anyone, anything & any activity?
     How does the above compare with how we usually feel caught up in our cravings, aversions & self-absorbtion?
     Which of these clearly feels healthy?

#665 Negativity isn't Enough

     "... natural negativity bias ... is our hardwired tendency to notice and amplify threats. It explains why so many people tend to believe that human life is brutal and cold, despite all evidence to the contrary. Negativity bias is the essence of natural selection: people who run away from a man with a gun or avoid a car running a red light are more likely to pass on their genes to the next generation. And these harrowing moments are more likely to burn themselves into our neurons than the gentle ones, so that we can avoid similar threats in the future." Jeremy Adam Smith "You Can Count on Goodness" Shambhala Sun, May 2015

     So, many (most?) of us are "nattering nabobs of negativity". Like those who are drowning, we'll latch onto anything that floats by - strongly-held opinions, dogmas etc. Even something as dysfunctional as cynicism seems more secure than "not knowing". But the fact is that we don't know much, and right within this space of "liminality" is where learning, creativity and growth happen. While rigid adherence to a jaundiced philosophy of life, though common, is pathological. See: http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=rigidity
     Instead of rigidly closing down in the face of uncertainty, we can thrive in our complex, ever-changing reality using a very different approach: bravery, curiosity, openness, resilience, perseverance and love. We can intentionally, progressively let go of fear-based rigidity, and learn to live vibrantly, embracing life as it is. See: http://www.johnlovas.com/2015/04/heart-mind-porousness-meditation.html

Gretel

#644 The Word We Fear the Most!

     I frequently email over a hundred people who've previously taken courses in, or have otherwise shown interest in Mindfulness. I point them to a blog I've just posted that I feel is particularly worth reading. Over the next few days, such a highlighted blog gets 60-400+ hits.
     Folks on this list are probably far more interested in deep, substantial topics than the average person. Nevertheless, whenever I include one, specific word, the blog gets the absolute lowest number of hits. And what is this most dreaded of all words? Wisdom!
     Why, even among this select, self-reflective group of people, is "wisdom" such a powerful buzz kill? I'm guessing that non-readers assume that:
          • they themselves lack wisdom, 
          • can't do anything to gain any, 
          • certainly can't ever "become wise". 

     Then there's the long history of corrupt religious authority figures who speak of wisdom, yet do so strictly for personal gain. They insist that human beings are inherently evil, doomed to burn in hell. Our only hope is to buy our way into heaven via the clergy. Corrupt clergy strongly oppose meditation, mysticism, gnosticism etc because these empower people spiritually, eliminating corrupt clergy's power, influence & wealth. Legitimate clergy embody wisdom, inviting & inspiring all to share this most magnificant journey.
     For valid reasons, a large segment of society has lost faith in organized religions, yet the old nonsense about humans being inherently evil remains buried in our collective subconscious, and bubbles forth as our current epidemic of cynicism. Most of us have low spiritual self-esteem, and incorrectly assume that there's nothing we can do about it.
     There is transformative wisdom in the world's wisdom traditions, and more than ever, each of us has ready access to these. Mindfulness provides today's educated, intelligent people easy access to access, cultivate & embody our own inherent clarity & wisdom - where all wisdom traditions meet.

Yeah, darlin'
Gonna make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space

Like a true nature's child
We were born
Born to be WISE

Steppenwolf - Born To Be Wild (lyrics slightly modified)

     Wisdom: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2015/01/620-what-is-wisdom.html
     and: http://www.johnlovas.com/2012/04/psychospiritual-technologies.html

#624 Distractions for "the Great Unwashed" - isn't there More to Life?

     "The great unwashed", a disparaging term referring to the common, lower classes, was coined in 1830 by novelist and playwright Edward Bulwer-Lytton.
     Regardless of socio-economic, educational, cultural, ethnic or religious background, people self-select into two distinct "classes" or groups:
          • the majority, who sleep-walk through life on autopilot,
and
          • a small minority, who are actively engaged, do their best to evolve as individuals, and try their best to help the rest of humanity do the same.

     Popular culture is one of constant mind-numbing distraction, keeping the majority in the trance of "ordinary unhappiness" - shop till you drop, keep busy, eat fast food, mindless fun, etc etc. Group-hypnosis, in general, has negative connotations: mob violence at soccer games; people trampled to death entering stores to buy sale items; entire nations obeying the whims of sociopaths like Lenin, Hitler, Pol Pot etc etc etc.

     Yet even highly-educated people become visibly uncomfortable at the mere mention of "wisdom" - it's way past their comfort zone. Knowledge and practice of wisdom is stunningly low. The few who are intentionally awake and engaged, regardless of their individual wisdom tradition, must join forces, if they are to help wake-up, help evolve, help civilize - help rescue from self-destruction - the sleep-walking masses.
     Each individual's meaningful personal life-long evolution of consciousness - "hero's journey" - must replace the pandemic spirituo-degenerative diseases of distraction, apathy and cynicism.

allanD700   www.dpreview.com

#560 Doing Less of What Doesn't & More of What Does Work

     Can we learn to become aware of & fed up with strategies that don't bring us long-term peace, contentment & joy? Can we persevere with practices that do? It really is that simple.
     We should not become jaded & cynical when buying junk we don't need, eating junk food, or getting drunk leave us feeling lousy. Of course there's infinitely more to life!
     See: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2014/08/getting-somewhere.html
 

Gretel with toy, August 17, 2014

 

#548 Is being Cynical the same as Realistic?

     How often do we hear an uplifting story or an interesting plan of action quickly drowned out by someone's pessimistic or sarcastic putdown? Cynics believe that their worldview is accurate, and assume that the rest of us can't see how harsh life really is.
     Fear, anger & aggression dominates such peoples' lives - the egocentric, adversarial approach. And yes, life is indeed brutish in this primitive, yet all too common mode. The 2013 movie "August: Osage County" nicely illustrates this mindset within a family. This quality of relating is also common in the world's troubled hotspots, where groups have been slaughtering each other for generations. They clamor for revenge, "make the enemy pay", "make them suffer"! They don't understand that "doing more of what doesn't work, and expecting different results" is not just unreasonable, but the definition of insanity. But suggesting to either side that the "eye for an eye" approach hasn't, doesn't & won't work evokes indignant rage! Leaders of such warring groups may inspire rabid followers, but their obvious lack of emotional / spiritual intelligence ensures severe continuous widespread suffering.
     All the wisdom traditions guide us to let go of egocentric, adversarial orientation and open ourselves to a loving, nurturing relationship with all of humanity, all creatures, all of the world. This requires a qualitative shift in our operating system - from reptilian, to homo sapiens sapiens.
     From the evolved homo sapiens sapiens perspective, our more common, reptilian (fear-based egocentric adversarial) way of being appears ridiculous - and vice versa! Therefore, many aspects of mindfulness may initially seem somewhat puzzling or even counterintuitive.

Beast & Prey, Rome, Italy

#542 Do We Know What We Need?

     In a recent excellent 2-part CBC radio documentary "Re-wiring Our Kids", host Pauline Dakin presents evidence suggesting that we're becoming so engrossed in & distracted by digital media, that our awareness of our own emotions is markedly dampened. Digital distraction may well be today's "opiate of the masses."
https://www.cbc.ca/atlanticvoice/2014/02/20/re-wiring-our-kids/

     Yet isn't it our emotions that warn us that we're suffering, and our emotions that energize us to make changes in order to improve the quality of our lives? 
     Mindfulness practices serve as a potent, vital antidote to the mind-numbing effects of digital distraction, materialism, cynicism, etc.

Resident of Tuscany

 

#505 One Continuum, Two States of Being

     Life can be a blur of busyness, commitments, deadlines, hassles & stress. It's easy to feel like a leaf swept away by a fast-moving river, unable to get out, not knowing where we're heading. It's easy to feel trapped, out of control, stressed, anxious & depressed.
     This is our basic, default level of consciousness - almost universal these days. Highly complex forces (social, political, economic, religious, military, etc) impact our lives, and we react to these as fast as we can, in order to survive. Truly serious, deep, meaningful, unavoidable issues - the existential facts of life (constant change, aging, sickness & death) - we ignore / postpone / suppress / repress as long as possible. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/03/88-avoidance-approach-dichotomy.html
     As life goes on, all of us periodically experience major traumas ("shipwrecks"), where our life as we knew it "falls apart."  
          Some of us implode, hardening in bitterness & cynicism, and may remain for life in this basic level of consciousness. 
          Others, after the same or worse trauma, open up, actively evolving, becoming stronger & wiser ("post-traumatic growth").
     See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/07/361-beyond-stress-management-resilience.html 
     And: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=post-traumatic+growth

     Those who actively evolve their consciousness realize that ordinary life pursuits, with or without psychotherapy, only take one up to, but not beyond "ordinary unhappiness." This realization can arise gradually and/or abruptly in the wake of major trauma (eg serious illness, job loss, death of loved ones, divorce, etc). Some people prioritize & actively pursue wisdom and do their best to fully integrate wisdom into their every thought, word & action. For them it is clear that this course of action makes life absolutely worth living.

Vivek Prakash   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

#501 Quality of Life & Your Way of Being

     We consider it normal, natural, the way things work, when external (eg the weather, the economy etc) and internal conditions (eg the effect of a heavy meal or a fight with a loved one etc) determine our mood, and to a large extent our behavior. After all, we know ourselves, and "that's who we are" - alluding to our stereotypical responses (conditioned reactions) to these conditions.  How many times have we heard ourselves & others predict "It's Monday - I'm going to have a lousy day", or "Oh that movie stars actor X, I'm going to hate it"? This is how most of us live our lives much of the time - on autopilot, reacting predictably to circumstances, with little conscious supervision or corrections. What quality of life does this lead to? Can't we do better?
     Some people realize that this situation is a dead end, but firmly believe that they're powerless to improve it. If our quality of life was directly controlled by our environment, the cynical motto: "Life is tough, and then you die" would be justified.
     Those who practice Mindfulness meditation quickly learn that the Mindfulness exercises are designed to progressively free us from the effects of years of conditioning, so we may enjoy freedom of choice. We don't have to be on autopilot; we don't have to react mechanically to external or internal circumstances. No circumstance, not even a Monday or an actor, controls our emotions, prefrontal cortex (judgment), or our motor cortex (movement).
     Can we concern ourselves first & foremost with monitoring the quality of our own awareness, our level of consciousness, our mood, the tone of our body? 
     • How is life when we feel mentally bright, at ease, peaceful, kind, our body relaxed & radiating warmth? 
     • How is life when we feel mentally dull, on guard, anxious / angry, fearful, our body tight, armored, closed & cold? 

     EXPERIENCE how your way of being affects your quality of life - your every perception.

     See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/02/280-koans-to-guide-formal-informal.html

#495 Is the Devil in the Details?

     A few years ago, during a break in a continuing medical education course, I overheard a group of young female physicians chatting about their children. One comment stuck: "I just hope they don't grow up to be assholes!"
     Isn't that our hope for ourselves as well? And yet, much of our lives are spent reacting to minor details - "sweating the small stuff", making a big deal out of them, then recuperating by zoning out with mindless distractions, booze, sleep etc. Our life too easily gets pilfered away, lost in details.
     Of course there's nothing wrong with the details themselves, the waste is in the sour attitude of "putting out fires": http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2014/02/493-how-we-fail-to-prioritize.html Such an attitude assumes that we're constantly battling annoyences. NO - we're actually LIVING, & CHOOSING the QUALITY of our LIFE. Our problem is settling for the wrong attitude. A wise person once said: "Every day is a good day." Statements like this really irritate some people - where's the locus of control? See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2014/02/494-we-know-were-heading-wrong-way-when.html and: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=attitude

William McIntosh   http://www.flickr.com/photos/mtsacprof/

#390 Shiny Things Lose their Sparkle - Don't Let it Bring You Down!

     As toddlers, we learn that our toys either break or get lost, but most often we learn that every single one of them, sooner or later, loses its ability to entertain us. For a while, we get very upset at breaking or loosing a toy, but gradually we automatically move on to newer, shinier, bigger, more expensive, more impressive distractions - even when the toys we already own are still quite new & serviceable.
     Our consumer society has trained us well to constantly thirst & hunger - always dissatisfied - constantly "in the market" for new distractions. Despite this lifelong pattern, it still comes as a huge shock - "an aha moment" - to some that after finally being able to buy the car of their dreams for example, they remain just as unsatisfied as before. 
     Of course we also pin our hopes for happiness on non-material shiny things: friends, lovers, jobs, status, fitness, physical health etc. NONE of these can consistently satisfy our thirst & hunger either.
     For many, this realization is such a crushing disappointment, that it leads to a lifetime of cynicism & depression, based on the fearful, quasi-religious conviction: life sucks, can't get better, only worse. 

                    "Don't let it bring you down
                    It's only castles burning, ....."           Neil Young

     Is it possible that we can & must outgrow reliance on externals to fulfill us? As adults, doesn't it make sense to "put away childish things"?

     "... it's never too late to take the less well-lit, but rich, essential path to mature adulthood. It comes through a mindful examination of one's personal and interpersonal life. 
        Hollis J. “Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life.” Gotham Books, NY, 2005.

 

Stephen Alvarez - National Geographic

#304 Positive Psychology, Cynicism, Arrested Development, Mindfulness the Middle-Way

     In her book "Bright-Sided: How Positive Thinking is Undermining America," Barbara Ehrenreich (YouTube video below) rightly criticizes simplistic cheerleader-style optimism and associated intolerance towards critical thinking. Unfortunately, in a more recent YouTube "Barbara Ehrenreich - Smile or Die" she also explicitly states "cancer left me more cynical and meaner". Cancer can be a "shipwreck" experience - see: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/07/361-beyond-stress-management-resilience.html
     This reaction is understandable, but it's the sign of an early stage of adult psychosocial development ("spiritual journey"). Remaining stuck (wallowing) here is an unnecessary, sad, self-imposed life-sentence. This is NOT "as good as it gets." With intelligence, curiosity, perseverance, and energy we can definitely transcend this existential / spiritual dry period ("dark night of the soul").
     Mindfulness practice is all about fearlessly exploring what's real, who am I, how do I relate to reality in a way that reduces suffering (including my own), how can we experience the most profound quality of life. Mindfulness is not about being negative nor positive, but about waking up to & engaging reality.
     More about Normal Adult Development: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=development 

#287 The Human Journey from "Simple Facts" to Complex Reality

     When a recognized expert in a field of study is asked a specific question, she's likely to respond truthfully "I don't know" and then concisely summarize existing theories about this tiny, circumscribed part of the human experience. This response is the product of a rigorous systematic search for truth, over a lifetime, by a mature, highly educated human being.
     How often do we hear dogmatically expounded simple solutions to problems with which humans have been wrestling for ages? Are these black-or-white views the result of a rigorous systematic search for truth, over a lifetime, by a mature, highly educated human being?
     Simple categorization ("black-or-white thinking") is essential at an early stage of development. We teach toddlers never to do a whole range of things we feel might endanger them; and to always do another list of things that are beneficial. However, as the child matures and becomes able to grasp more of life's complexities, our guidelines become increasingly more nuanced, until they're adults capable of appropriate decisions independent of their parents. This is clearly not a matter of morals ("right-or-wrong"), rather a matter of the child's mind developing progressively increasing capacity to handle the reality of an incredibly complex world.
     Among adults, there's a huge variation in approaching life's complexities, paradoxes, ambiguities, constant changes. A proportion remain at the developmental level of "Do this," and "Don't do that" out of deeply conditioned fear. Only a small proportion of adults actively take on a lifelong rigorous systematic search for truth. Mindfulness practice is an open-ended, life-long approach to investigate "What is this?" "Who am I?", and it does not impose any answers. 
     Many adults' lives are ruled by fear and anxiety. They sense that life is difficult and uncontrollable on many levels, and thus spend their lives distracting themselves: amusements, work, food, drink, material goods, religion on a shallow magical escape / social comfort level, gambling, substance abuse, etc. This is a "life unexamined" not only out of fear, but deep cynicism about introspection, convinced that deeply examining the nature of reality will reveal only darkness. When fear / anxiety / cynicism is the true driving force in one's life, one is profoundly suffering, and creates more suffering for others. It's critically important to realize that this is being stuck at a relatively immature developmental stage ("dark night of the soul"), NOT the final word on reality. It's also critically important to realize that it's (strangely) easier to remain stuck in certainty of something miserable, than to open up to new possibilities!

     We practice mindfulness because life is difficult and we understand that we CAN help our consciousness evolve to more effectively meet life's challenges. 
     Never give up, never give in to cynicism, nihilism - this is a miserable place to park for the rest of one's life! See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/09/181-healthy-maturation.html

Photo: Pawel Klarecki   http://pawelklarecki.blogspot.ro/