#608 Fearing the Shallows & Depths

     This morning, in a local jewellery store, I saw a collection of clay wall hangings, each with a woman's face on top, and a slogan, meant to be funny, below. On one of these was written:
          "Deep down, I'm really shallow!"

     This is dark humor - trying to deal with something that's actually terrifying. I think a large proportion of us, women and probably more so men, go to great lengths to remain constantly distracted so as to avoid seeing clearly who / what they are deep down. They fear that their own character / psyche / soul is at best shallow, at worst wicked. This is a hangover from the dark ages of clerics terrifying people with burning in hell forever unless they pay clerics to pray for them. How could, or indeed why would we live meaningful, dignified lives if we believe that we're "rotten to the core"?
     All the world's wisdom traditions have intelligent, educated, well-meaning, civilized representatives. Also, all have shrill representatives who've miraculously evaded a thousand years of human evolution, and misery loves company.
     Meditation practices are avoided at all costs by those who fear getting to know themselves (as well as those who gain by propagating this fear). In meditation we do directly experience the "shadow" aspect of ourselves - the less flattering aspects of our personality that everyone else clearly sees, but which otherwise remains hidden from us. But seeing & understanding our shadow has nothing to do with encountering "the devil". Becoming aware of this part of our subconscious helps us mature and behave as responsible, civilized adults.
     Fortunately, meditation also lets each of us directly experience the very best of human nature. Each of us, fundamentally, is kind, spacious awareness. This wise, mature, civilized aspect is amply able to hold the relatively small, transient shadow aspect.
     Mindfulness practices, which are all forms of meditation, are ancient, time-proven practices, specifically designed to foster human evolution of consciousness. In other words, we CAN intentionally promote our own psychosocialspiritual maturation - but ONLY IF we can overcome fear-based avoidance.

Bess learning from Gretel

#597 Flow with - OR - Rigidly Oppose Life ?

     Mindfulness practice gradually leads us to experience life as a constant flow of energy. With psychological flexibility, whatever comes up becomes "workable". We learn to live in a peaceful, synergistic, collaborative relationship with people & nature.

     This comes about naturally as we learn to let go of psychological rigidity: black-or-white thinking, judgmentalism, dogmatism - fear-based reactions of a reified ego against a presumed hostile universe - see: http://www.johnlovas.com/2014/11/painful-mistaken-identity.html At some point, most people come to realize that the old caveman stance simply doesn't work.

Fiona Wiseman   https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.706893482727591.1073741831.100002208364263&type=1&l=3362c32dc6

#567 Wise Advice Needs Personal Testing

     "take the counsel of the wise. We would be foolish to overlook their immeasurable knowledge and skills. But ... (we should) test the teachings in the fire of our own lives. Listen to them, weigh them, and investigate them. It is for each of us to understand 'why do I suffer so much?' 'how do I relate to the world around me?' or 'what brings joy to life?'"

       Larry Rosenberg. Three Steps to Awakening. A Practice for Bringing Mindfulness to Life. Shambhala, Boston, 2013.

 

#564 Curious, Open - not Gullible

     Mindfulness is not about dogmas, nor any other form of rigidity.

     "... challenge all teachings ...
     There's a lot of baloney out there. Years ago, a wonderful Hindu teacher ... said, 'The longer the beard, the bigger the fake.' And he, himself, had a beard that almost touched the floor.'"
       Larry Rosenberg. Three Steps to Awakening. A Practice for Bringing Mindfulness to Life. Shambhala, Boston, 2013. 

     Mindfulness is about trying practices found to relieve suffering and bring about peace and joy, and seeing what effect these may have on your life.
     If these improve the quality of your life, do them more. If, after a reasonable trial period, they don't, make sure you're doing them properly. If you're still getting nowhere, try something else. You may (or may not) return to mindfulness practices at a later point in life.
     An excellent approach to statements that seem novel or difficult to understand, is to let them sit, in the back of your mind, as open questions. Their meanings may gradually unfold by themselves.
     Research shows that being open and curious (psychological flexibility) has many, profound benefits over it's alternative (rigidity). 

     See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/01/18-normal-human-development.html

#543 What is Meditation?

     “Meditation opens the mind to the greatest mystery that takes place daily and hourly; it widens the heart so that it may feel the eternity of time and infinity of space in every throb; it gives us a life within the world as if we were moving about in paradise; and all these spiritual deeds take place without any refuge into a doctrine, but by the simple and direct holding fast to the truth which dwells in our innermost beings.”                                   Suzuki Roshi

       from: wisdomandcompassion.us

"Pax et Bonum" - Peace and Goodness (be with you) - Franciscan motto, Assisi, Italy

#456 Awakening to Things as They Are

     We progressively awaken to the moment-to-moment reactions we have to life by noticing how each reaction is preceded by a felt physical sensation. Two amazingly frequent sensations:
     1) closing off, tightening / hardening of the body - particularly the heart-mind - towards stimuli that we negatively judge. This is aversion or hatred - a rigid, adversarial reaction.
     2) aching hunger - particularly in the gut - towards stimuli we judge to be enticing, desirable. This is craving or clinging - a wanting, wishing, pining away for, desperately desiring to keep reaction.
     In aversion / hatred we're running from / fighting off stuff, in craving / clinging we're running after / desperately hanging-on to stuff, based on the fundamental misunderstanding: that things as they are, are unacceptable. 
     And how actually are things as they are? Fluidly changing, ephemeral - far more like inner transient energies than solid external chunks of matter, that can either be accumulated in our bedrooms, or hauled far away to be buried.
     These are not dogma, simply observations at a given stage of mindfulness meditation practice. From a Western psychological perspective, it represents a normal, healthy shift from rigidity towards psychological flexibility & accepting reality.

St. Andrews by John England   http://www.fogforestgallery.ca/bios/bio_england.html

#287 The Human Journey from "Simple Facts" to Complex Reality

     When a recognized expert in a field of study is asked a specific question, she's likely to respond truthfully "I don't know" and then concisely summarize existing theories about this tiny, circumscribed part of the human experience. This response is the product of a rigorous systematic search for truth, over a lifetime, by a mature, highly educated human being.
     How often do we hear dogmatically expounded simple solutions to problems with which humans have been wrestling for ages? Are these black-or-white views the result of a rigorous systematic search for truth, over a lifetime, by a mature, highly educated human being?
     Simple categorization ("black-or-white thinking") is essential at an early stage of development. We teach toddlers never to do a whole range of things we feel might endanger them; and to always do another list of things that are beneficial. However, as the child matures and becomes able to grasp more of life's complexities, our guidelines become increasingly more nuanced, until they're adults capable of appropriate decisions independent of their parents. This is clearly not a matter of morals ("right-or-wrong"), rather a matter of the child's mind developing progressively increasing capacity to handle the reality of an incredibly complex world.
     Among adults, there's a huge variation in approaching life's complexities, paradoxes, ambiguities, constant changes. A proportion remain at the developmental level of "Do this," and "Don't do that" out of deeply conditioned fear. Only a small proportion of adults actively take on a lifelong rigorous systematic search for truth. Mindfulness practice is an open-ended, life-long approach to investigate "What is this?" "Who am I?", and it does not impose any answers. 
     Many adults' lives are ruled by fear and anxiety. They sense that life is difficult and uncontrollable on many levels, and thus spend their lives distracting themselves: amusements, work, food, drink, material goods, religion on a shallow magical escape / social comfort level, gambling, substance abuse, etc. This is a "life unexamined" not only out of fear, but deep cynicism about introspection, convinced that deeply examining the nature of reality will reveal only darkness. When fear / anxiety / cynicism is the true driving force in one's life, one is profoundly suffering, and creates more suffering for others. It's critically important to realize that this is being stuck at a relatively immature developmental stage ("dark night of the soul"), NOT the final word on reality. It's also critically important to realize that it's (strangely) easier to remain stuck in certainty of something miserable, than to open up to new possibilities!

     We practice mindfulness because life is difficult and we understand that we CAN help our consciousness evolve to more effectively meet life's challenges. 
     Never give up, never give in to cynicism, nihilism - this is a miserable place to park for the rest of one's life! See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/09/181-healthy-maturation.html

Photo: Pawel Klarecki   http://pawelklarecki.blogspot.ro/

#174 Stuck? There IS a way out AND someone CAN help you!

     We've all seen overviews of individuals hopelessly lost, stuck in a maze. Because of our vantage point - the big picture - the way out or desired destination is clearly possible.

     It's sadly common for people to get stuck on life's journey. Many live 'lives of quiet desperation.' Yet there are far greater possibilities than Freud's neurosis or 'ordinary unhappiness'! Unfortunately, adhering dogmatically to ANY worldview - even "clever nihilism" - gives one a highly addictive sense of pseudo-control. Like all addictions, the control is fake, benefits short-lived, yet hard to outgrow.

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."                    Hamlet, William Shakespeare

     Isn't life all about taking turns being stuck in a maze and finding one's way out, then having learned the overview, the bigger picture, we can help others out? Sometimes we require the help of therapists to extricate ourselves from the maze. But therapists themselves may suffer from, and require outside help for, the very conditions they treat in others.

     "When we accept the possibility of all things, ... then all things become possible. Trust builds a bridge between the known and the unknown and then allows us to temporarily cross into the other world. Faith does not manifest itself as acceptance of some dogma; instead it involves a willingness to go past the current limits of our knowing. The new world (ie that yielded by transformation) may not be revealed or reached without surrender and faith.”

       Hart T. "From information to transformation. Education for the evolution of consciousness." Peter Lang Publishing, NY, 2009.

     SEE ALSO: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/03/87-approach-embrace-challenges.html
     AND: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/03/85-phoenix-process.html