#644 The Word We Fear the Most!

     I frequently email over a hundred people who've previously taken courses in, or have otherwise shown interest in Mindfulness. I point them to a blog I've just posted that I feel is particularly worth reading. Over the next few days, such a highlighted blog gets 60-400+ hits.
     Folks on this list are probably far more interested in deep, substantial topics than the average person. Nevertheless, whenever I include one, specific word, the blog gets the absolute lowest number of hits. And what is this most dreaded of all words? Wisdom!
     Why, even among this select, self-reflective group of people, is "wisdom" such a powerful buzz kill? I'm guessing that non-readers assume that:
          • they themselves lack wisdom, 
          • can't do anything to gain any, 
          • certainly can't ever "become wise". 

     Then there's the long history of corrupt religious authority figures who speak of wisdom, yet do so strictly for personal gain. They insist that human beings are inherently evil, doomed to burn in hell. Our only hope is to buy our way into heaven via the clergy. Corrupt clergy strongly oppose meditation, mysticism, gnosticism etc because these empower people spiritually, eliminating corrupt clergy's power, influence & wealth. Legitimate clergy embody wisdom, inviting & inspiring all to share this most magnificant journey.
     For valid reasons, a large segment of society has lost faith in organized religions, yet the old nonsense about humans being inherently evil remains buried in our collective subconscious, and bubbles forth as our current epidemic of cynicism. Most of us have low spiritual self-esteem, and incorrectly assume that there's nothing we can do about it.
     There is transformative wisdom in the world's wisdom traditions, and more than ever, each of us has ready access to these. Mindfulness provides today's educated, intelligent people easy access to access, cultivate & embody our own inherent clarity & wisdom - where all wisdom traditions meet.

Yeah, darlin'
Gonna make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space

Like a true nature's child
We were born
Born to be WISE

Steppenwolf - Born To Be Wild (lyrics slightly modified)

     Wisdom: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2015/01/620-what-is-wisdom.html
     and: http://www.johnlovas.com/2012/04/psychospiritual-technologies.html

#596 Identity & Self-transcendence

     In mindfulness (MBSR) workshops, we share the experiences we encounter during sitting meditation. Common themes include: struggles with "monkey mind", struggles with sleepiness, struggles with physical discomfort, struggles with restlessness, compulsive planning, obsessing about time-poverty, obsessing about being no good at meditation, etc.

     How do you feel after sharing your particular struggle with the group, and the facilitator suggests mindful ways of addressing your struggle?
     Does it feel like a personal attack? Are you angry? Do you feel "diminished"? If you do, what does it say about YOUR identity?

     Mindfulness training is fundamentally about letting go of limiting ideas about our assumed identity. Mindfulness is a journey of self-transcendence - never easy, but a huge leap if we're struggling with low self-esteem - and many of us are. See: http://www.johnlovas.com/2014/11/painful-mistaken-identity.html
     For those who find mindfulness training traumatically challenging, Western psychotherapy can help create a healthier sense of self first. Perhaps then, mindfulness training can facilitate and gently expedite the normal healthy human evolutionary process of self-transcendence.

#539 What Things Arise during Sitting Meditation?

     Here's another question (koan) to ponder: "What sort of things keep coming up while we sit in meditation?"

     If we think about it, do these not ultimately boil down to "our reasons" why we're not worthy to receive AND not capable of providing unconditional love?

     And how do we handle these things?

Ken Dyball, National Geographic   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

#375 Self-development, Self-knowledge, Wisdom & Overcoming Self-centeredness

     "Quests for self-realization, self-actualization, maturity, & autonomy, and even the quest for wisdom might initially be motivated by a desire for a stron­ger self, yet it is precisely through the process of self-development & self­ knowledge that people start to realize the illusory nature of the phenomenal self. 

     The self is not a substance, an unchangeable essence, or an "individual," but a construct that is created through social interaction. According to the liberative model of adult development, the self may be thought of as a construct of attachments & aversions, which need to be transcended. Self-transcendence can be achieved through nonattachment, patience, and in particular self-observation and self-knowledge. A person in search of wisdom will eventually come to the realization that what is conven­tionally called the 'self,' the 'I,' or the 'ego' is an illusion that enables one to construct a stable image of oneself. It is the attachment to the self that creates the ego. Through the practice of self-examination, self-reflection, & mindfulness the ego grows quiet, which allows a glimpse into reality beyond the self and consequently results in greater wisdom.

     It should be noted that wise people's selflessness is not equivalent to low self-esteem or low self-confidence. Maslow even maintained that 'the best way to transcend the ego is via having a strong identity'. A dialectical relationship exists between selflessness and self-knowledge insofar that only individuals who know who they are can over­come their self-centeredness."

         Ardelt M. Self-development through selflessness: The paradoxical process of growing wiser. in Wayment HA, Bauer JJ eds. Decade of behavior. American Psychological Association, Washington, DC, 2008.

     More from Ardelt's chapter: http://www.johnlovas.com/2013/07/wisdom-awareness-self-transcendence.html

 

#366 Invitation to Live Life Fully - "Be All that You Can Be"

     We have a "… diminished view of ourselves as isolated, as separate, as inadequate, as that which so often leads us in fear to ... keep 'the fullness of life at bay while we negotiate our way into a safe, thin, colorless cage.'
     (Mindfulness training) is nothing less than an invitation to liberate ourselves from the habitual and confining prisons of our own creation***, to begin to listen to the inner callings of the heart, and to literally cook in the fires of direct experience, and in doing so, to grow ripe and savory and complete in who we actually are." 
       Jon Kabat-Zinn

        Santorelli S. “Heal thyself. Lessons on mindfulness in medicine.” Bell Tower, NY, 1999. 

     *** See "Growth" : http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/05/327-ideas-about-happiness-vs-real-thing.html

 

lex32   www.dpreview.com

#272 Perfectionism - Negative AND Positive Forms

     Dentists, physicians, and likely most health-care professionals tend to be perfectionists. This perfectionism benefits health-care recipients, but is extremely hard on providers, contributing to anxiety, depression, burnout and suicide. Fortunately, like most things, perfectionism is a coin with two sides. And mindfulness, which has been defined as "the phenomenon of standing back from negative thoughts and feelings to evaluate an experience” can help flip this coin.

     "positive perfectionists ... set realistic goals and are motivated by the positive feelings that are associated with a sense of accomplishment ... 
     Negative perfectionists are motivated by the need to avoid negative evaluations, although they may set impossible standards and are not satisfied with any outcome.
     strivings for perfection are adaptive when combined with the acceptance of non-perfection, but maladaptive when combined with an inability to accept failures.
     In the current study, positive perfectionists reported higher levels of proactive coping, mindfulness and self-esteem, and lower levels of depressive symptomatology and rumination. Negative perfectionists reported less proactive coping, mindfulness, and self-esteem, as well as greater rumination and depressive symptomatology. As expected, life satisfaction was higher for those with increased mindfulness and positive perfectionism, and lower for individuals reporting lower mindfulness and higher negative perfectionism. 
     The results strongly suggest that positive perfectionists are more likely to be mindful and have higher self-esteem than negative perfectionists, and seek to modify more effective cognitive strategies, as noted by the higher reported levels of proactive coping. Positive perfectionists are intentional and deliberative, and they actually take action (rather than just thinking about it) by using an iterative approach, engaging multiple strategies to continue to persevere.
     Conversely, results suggest that negative perfectionists are unlikely to be mindful or proactive, and more likely to default to rumination as a coping technique. They may focus solely on the desired outcome, rather than searching for alternate solutions to the problem. Failure to achieve success becomes a severe threat to negative perfectionists’ self-esteem. Rumination tends to lead to failure because it does not culminate in taking action, as does the more beneficial cognitive coping style of mindfulness. Rumination seems to reflect a continual low self-esteem state of ineffective 'engagement' which negative perfectionists internalize as better than quitting.
     ... those who were taught mindfulness techniques reported fewer ruminative activities compared to untreated counterparts. Given the positive correlation between negative perfectionism and rumination, mindfulness may be a beneficial skill for negative perfectionists to learn. ... mindfulness leads to an increase in the individual’s ability to deliberately respond to situations. Therefore, mindfulness may aid in controlling repetitive behavior and decreasing negative cognitions. Greater mindfulness seems to lead to a better ability to make sound judgments and decisions that lead to more beneficial outcomes. Increased mindfulness could potentially result in decreased negative perfectionism and increased levels of proactive coping, self-esteem, and satisfaction with life ..."

        Hinterman C, Burns L, Hopwood D, Rogers W. Mindfulness: Seeking a More Perfect Approach to Coping with Life’s Challenges. Mindfulness 2012
 DOI 10.1007/s12671-012-0091-8

See also: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2013/01/looking-in-mirror-conditional-self.html

Photo: Noah Genda   www.dpreview.com