#562 Suffering or Wisdom? We Get to Choose?

     Early this week our 5-year old water heater stopped working. The plumber from the company that sold it to us decided that some parts needed to be replaced, did so, charged $300., and left, but no hot water. The next day, he returned, replaced another part, left, but no hot water. Later that day, he returned, checked his work, left, but still no hot water. The next day, while waiting for him to return, I noticed that I was developing a low-grade tension headache (rare for me). Even thought the repair guy seemed like a pleasant, decent fellow, I was obviously resenting the slowness & inefficiency with which this (very minor) inconvenience was being handled. Waiting for a repairman, and waiting for hot water, was not the way my week was supposed to be! The headache helped me remember meditation teacher John Tarrant's saying:
               "Suffering is the thought 'This isn't it.'
                Wisdom is the thought 'What is this?'"

     What happens in each moment has little if anything to do with what we want or need. Instead, it's the result of innumerable causes & conditions coming together at a unique crossroads in history. It is complex beyond imagination, and impossible to predict or control. Our individual input is usually an incredibly tiny contribution, so why do we fool (inflate?) ourselves thinking we can control anything (other than perhaps our own attitude)?
     When the universe fails to unfold according to our individual desire, we can (like I did) get angry. "This sucks, I don't want this, this is upsetting all my plans ..." Nevertheless, the universe continues to unfold without consulting me, nor as far as I know, any other of earth's ~9 billion human beings. Therefore, remembering to remain curious and open to whatever unfolds moment-to-moment, seems much wiser than being constantly mad.
     Wisdom is generally understood to involve a progressive shift from egocentricity (self concerns) towards allocentricity & ecocentricity (being concerned about others & the environment).
     Yesterday, the plumber returned and succeeded in fixing the heater.

Justin Jung, National Geographic   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

#538 Centrality of Love

     Here's a question (koan) to ponder: 
          "No matter what problem confronts me, what role does love play?" More specifically, UNCONDITIONAL love? Love:
          • without limitations
          • without conditions
          • without bounds
          • unchanging
          • completely committed

     Isn't unconditional love something we all seek to receive AND provide?
     What happens when we pretend that it's irrelevant?

     See: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2012/12/everyones-doing-their-best-under.html
     and: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/search?q=unconditional

     

#501 Quality of Life & Your Way of Being

     We consider it normal, natural, the way things work, when external (eg the weather, the economy etc) and internal conditions (eg the effect of a heavy meal or a fight with a loved one etc) determine our mood, and to a large extent our behavior. After all, we know ourselves, and "that's who we are" - alluding to our stereotypical responses (conditioned reactions) to these conditions.  How many times have we heard ourselves & others predict "It's Monday - I'm going to have a lousy day", or "Oh that movie stars actor X, I'm going to hate it"? This is how most of us live our lives much of the time - on autopilot, reacting predictably to circumstances, with little conscious supervision or corrections. What quality of life does this lead to? Can't we do better?
     Some people realize that this situation is a dead end, but firmly believe that they're powerless to improve it. If our quality of life was directly controlled by our environment, the cynical motto: "Life is tough, and then you die" would be justified.
     Those who practice Mindfulness meditation quickly learn that the Mindfulness exercises are designed to progressively free us from the effects of years of conditioning, so we may enjoy freedom of choice. We don't have to be on autopilot; we don't have to react mechanically to external or internal circumstances. No circumstance, not even a Monday or an actor, controls our emotions, prefrontal cortex (judgment), or our motor cortex (movement).
     Can we concern ourselves first & foremost with monitoring the quality of our own awareness, our level of consciousness, our mood, the tone of our body? 
     • How is life when we feel mentally bright, at ease, peaceful, kind, our body relaxed & radiating warmth? 
     • How is life when we feel mentally dull, on guard, anxious / angry, fearful, our body tight, armored, closed & cold? 

     EXPERIENCE how your way of being affects your quality of life - your every perception.

     See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/02/280-koans-to-guide-formal-informal.html

#469 From Stuck to Flying Free

     How much of our life are we "identified with" some negative aspect of "our story"? In other words, how often are we completely immersed in some negative emotion? Recurrent anxious, depressed thoughts of not being good enough, being unloved, being unworthy of love, etc are common in "ordinary unhappiness." This is "as good as it gets" according to Freud, YET this is unnecessary suffering. For some of us this is completely debilitating and requires professional help from mental health professionals. However, the basic aspects of this is shared by every human being. We do not have to remain stuck in this quicksand.
     The moment we observe this happening, we are momentarily free, unstuck. As soon as we see that we have sadness or anxiety, we actually no longer are sadness or anxiety, but in fact observers of these emotions. This is a healing shift from being submerged or drowning in an afflictive emotion (cognitive fusion) to being somewhat objectively aware of the situation (cognitive defusion).
     We gradually begin to observe this as a repeated pattern. This is an additional critical healing shift - to a meta view. We notice how certain environmental and other factors trigger these afflictive emotions to arise, we notice the physical & other effects, and notice how these dissipate. We become aware of the causes & conditions, and the arising & passing away of the mini-drama. We're learning to appreciate a 30,000 foot view of the most difficult aspect of life - our own and others'. No longer stuck in mud, we are free, yet know the mud very well, and the many still stuck in it.

Beauty & Kindness in an Ice Storm