#562 Suffering or Wisdom? We Get to Choose?

     Early this week our 5-year old water heater stopped working. The plumber from the company that sold it to us decided that some parts needed to be replaced, did so, charged $300., and left, but no hot water. The next day, he returned, replaced another part, left, but no hot water. Later that day, he returned, checked his work, left, but still no hot water. The next day, while waiting for him to return, I noticed that I was developing a low-grade tension headache (rare for me). Even thought the repair guy seemed like a pleasant, decent fellow, I was obviously resenting the slowness & inefficiency with which this (very minor) inconvenience was being handled. Waiting for a repairman, and waiting for hot water, was not the way my week was supposed to be! The headache helped me remember meditation teacher John Tarrant's saying:
               "Suffering is the thought 'This isn't it.'
                Wisdom is the thought 'What is this?'"

     What happens in each moment has little if anything to do with what we want or need. Instead, it's the result of innumerable causes & conditions coming together at a unique crossroads in history. It is complex beyond imagination, and impossible to predict or control. Our individual input is usually an incredibly tiny contribution, so why do we fool (inflate?) ourselves thinking we can control anything (other than perhaps our own attitude)?
     When the universe fails to unfold according to our individual desire, we can (like I did) get angry. "This sucks, I don't want this, this is upsetting all my plans ..." Nevertheless, the universe continues to unfold without consulting me, nor as far as I know, any other of earth's ~9 billion human beings. Therefore, remembering to remain curious and open to whatever unfolds moment-to-moment, seems much wiser than being constantly mad.
     Wisdom is generally understood to involve a progressive shift from egocentricity (self concerns) towards allocentricity & ecocentricity (being concerned about others & the environment).
     Yesterday, the plumber returned and succeeded in fixing the heater.

Justin Jung, National Geographic   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

#469 From Stuck to Flying Free

     How much of our life are we "identified with" some negative aspect of "our story"? In other words, how often are we completely immersed in some negative emotion? Recurrent anxious, depressed thoughts of not being good enough, being unloved, being unworthy of love, etc are common in "ordinary unhappiness." This is "as good as it gets" according to Freud, YET this is unnecessary suffering. For some of us this is completely debilitating and requires professional help from mental health professionals. However, the basic aspects of this is shared by every human being. We do not have to remain stuck in this quicksand.
     The moment we observe this happening, we are momentarily free, unstuck. As soon as we see that we have sadness or anxiety, we actually no longer are sadness or anxiety, but in fact observers of these emotions. This is a healing shift from being submerged or drowning in an afflictive emotion (cognitive fusion) to being somewhat objectively aware of the situation (cognitive defusion).
     We gradually begin to observe this as a repeated pattern. This is an additional critical healing shift - to a meta view. We notice how certain environmental and other factors trigger these afflictive emotions to arise, we notice the physical & other effects, and notice how these dissipate. We become aware of the causes & conditions, and the arising & passing away of the mini-drama. We're learning to appreciate a 30,000 foot view of the most difficult aspect of life - our own and others'. No longer stuck in mud, we are free, yet know the mud very well, and the many still stuck in it.

Beauty & Kindness in an Ice Storm