#759 Savoring Mindfully

     Positive psychology defines "savoring" as "the process of learning to focus attention on positive events to increase one's sensitivity to naturally rewarding experiences, such as enjoying a beautiful nature scene or experiencing a sense of connection with a loved one." Garland EL et al. "Mindfulness-Oriented Recovery Enhancement for Chronic Pain and Prescription Opioid Misuse: Results From an Early-Stage Randomized Controlled Trial." Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 2014; DOI: 10.1037/a0035798

     This differs from how I use the term mindful savoring in teaching MBSR, the central focus of which is seeing the full scope of reality clearly, as it actually is. My use of this term overlaps with the definition of "connoisseur," and may best illustrated thus:
     A wine expert (sommelier) can "blind taste" a variety of wines and with great accuracy, provide details of the type(s) of wine, type of grapes, country of origin, perhaps even the specific vineyard and year of harvest, and how well this particular vintage/winery combination represents the region. With great enthusiasm, a wine connoisseur can provide considerably more details than this, and yet actually consume little if any wine (they usually spit it into a special container), and unless the wine is actually spoiled (eg "corked"), will not indicate whether or not s/he personally "likes" or "dislikes" it. 
     Mindful savoring is based, first & foremost on intimacy - a profound openness to & interest in, a kind of love if you will - an open mind & heart - toward all wines & wine-making in general. This is qualitatively different from rigid, reactive, black-&-white judgments / personal preferences ("I hate this" - or - "I crave this").
     The important mindful aspects of savoring: non-judgmental, open / transpersonal (vs narrow / personal) awareness & psychological flexibility (vs rigidity).

     Consider the effect on your quality of life were you to mindfully savor the innumerable people & phenomena you encountered - the richness of the infinite variety of experiences is unimaginable. 

     In contrast to mindful savoring, aren't we more prone to rigidly identify with our preferences? How unlikely are we to meet people / phenomena that we rate amazingly desirable ("must haves") or that we rate terribly undesirable ("must avoids") - very seldom, right? But don't the vast majority of people / phenomena fit in between - the vast numbers of "neutrals" we hardly notice or even try to avoid, having judged them "boring"? (Remember the "inn-crowd" in high school?)
     To the extent that we fail to mindfully savor, our life is dull & frustrating,filled with wanting, striving, waiting & disappointment.

     Psychological flexibility paves the way towards de-armoring, knowledge about & intimacy with ourself, others & life in general. Rigidity, the opposite of psychological flexibility, is an armored dead-end: https://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.com/2013/01/261-psychological-rigidity-i-will.html

    
     

#546 Armor - Rigid, Antiquated, Isolating Protection

     Chronic muscular tension in our face (clenching, bruxing, splinted speech), neck, shoulders, upper back, lower back, fists, etc is one form of amoring. This is the most primitive form of armor, physically protecting the assumed fragile self from an assumed hostile world.
     More consciously, we tailor our speech & behavior to present a persona (theatrical mask) - how we'd like others to perceive us, hiding the "real me", assumed to be less- or frankly unacceptable.
     Underlying all of this, is our sense of self and our worldview. How aware are we of these two core aspects of our being? How much time and effort do we devote to actively, intentionally investigate "who am I?" and "what is this?"? Can one possibly live a congruent, "undivided" life if one avoids these basics?
     To the extent that we consciously, intentionally, actively OPEN ourselves to these fundamentals, we DE-ARMOR to ourselves AND others. Though initially this feels vulnerable, it is in fact a move towards mental health, maturation, genuine strength, & wisdom.

Jasmine, San Gimignano, Tuscany, Italy

#538 Centrality of Love

     Here's a question (koan) to ponder: 
          "No matter what problem confronts me, what role does love play?" More specifically, UNCONDITIONAL love? Love:
          • without limitations
          • without conditions
          • without bounds
          • unchanging
          • completely committed

     Isn't unconditional love something we all seek to receive AND provide?
     What happens when we pretend that it's irrelevant?

     See: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2012/12/everyones-doing-their-best-under.html
     and: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/search?q=unconditional

     

#526 Monitoring My State of Being - Moment-by-Moment

     Awareness of what's going on around us & what's going on inside of us are important components, but nowhere near all of mindfulness. Another vital level of awareness is monitoring our state of being or, in computer jargon, our operating system.
     We've all experienced this unique combination kind / loving, open-hearted, peaceful, silent, still, timeless, hypoegoic / egoless: being with a person or animal we love, performing highly meaningful activity, being in a special place, listening to special music etc.
     We've all also experienced being "stressed-out": fear / anger / anxiety / depression, armored, noise, feeling rattled / shaken, time-poverty, egocentric. If we examine our lives very carefully, the vast majority of our time is spent - to some degree - in this mode.
     Whether we're in the rare open-hearted mode - or - the almost continuous armored mode, we tend to blame external factors entirely. Aside from trying to make the external environment more comfortable & pleasing, we assume we have no control over our quality of life.

     Mindfulness training allows us see clearly & experience directly how WE are ENTIRELY RESPONSIBLE for our own state of being - in which operating system WE CHOOSE to live ie we choose our quality of life independent of external factors.
     You CAN open your mind-heart up to an infinitely greater quality of life.

Puppy Love from: smchealth.org       &       Stressed-Out from: knowmybody.com

#439 Armored for Life?

     An ideal state of being for helping professionals, particularly when helping people with existential & mental health-related issues, is "therapeutic presence." See: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2013/11/therapeutic-presence.html
     Clinicians, mentors, coaches, teachers, parents all share the common ideal of motivating people to improve their quality of life - "health promotion." The more they care about doing this, the less "neutral" or "objective" (disinterested in the results of their efforts) they may appear.
     Presenting facts & stats with a take-it-or-leave-it attitude is risk-free for the presenter (though deadly boring).
     Engaging with one's audience as a team with a common goal is risky, yet can nurture a positive, useful, motivating energy - for those with shared goals.
     Intellect by itself is a way of keeping things at a safe, theoretical distance - an effective barrier to engagement. Many of us are heavily protected (armored) from much of life - we live almost exclusively in our heads.
     Engagement is complete mind-heart-body-spirit involvement. The capacity to engage can be developed intentionally through mindfulness practice, which catalyzes a gentle, progressive process of de-armoring. 

     Many of us will remain armored for life, rigidly resisting all suggestions to de-armor as unscientific, impractical, a "sales pitch" etc. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/01/261-psychological-rigidity-i-will.html This is understandable, but tragic. See: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2013/08/promoting-healthy-personality.html

gordonpritchard   www.dpreview.com

#149 Guardedness, Approriateness, Compassion

Though this is a blog, readers' comments have been rare, likely due in part to the fact that the Comment section is NOT easy to see / access. So, I'd like to share a recent comment re post #143 "Wound of the heart - part 1":

Comment:

"I can relate to this guardedness particularly when under stress and it is related to my experiences in my family of origin. I would like to know how to transform that guardedness to openness?"

My Response:

"As you imply, this guardedness is entirely healthy & appropriate, based on all your previous experiences. As an adult, you start to see that responding to life with an open heart is a more appropriate, healthier way to live. Nevertheless, the guardedness comes up automatically. Awareness of how you respond, of how you & others feel as a result, and compassionate understanding for yourself & others, very gradually but surely diminishes your reactivity / guardedness. In the process, you develop deep insight into others' behavior - since they too all had imperfect parents / childhoods and so are also guarded & reactive. "Awareness itself heals" is a potent motto to remember, realizing that awareness involves the mind-heart ie includes compassion for self & others."

#66 Openings

     “The more we open ourselves, the more our energy and effort in practice flow. We become a channel or conduit for energy. This energy is the power of expansion and opening, not an energy of struggle. It is a power of the heart. If we are willing to bring a wholehearted effort to every aspect of our practice, the very effort itself brings more energy as we touch this great capacity within us.”           J Goldstein & J Kornfield

      “I just went through a series of heart attacks, and the greatest gift that’s come out of that for me is a deeper appreciation of vulnerability, which is usually seen as weakness. But I’m experiencing it as a kind of porousness, of feeling less defended, less armored. If we can impart to younger people the gift of that vulnerability, it may help them to embrace aging.”                                       Frank Ostaseski

Photo: RuthC   www.dpreview.com