#751 The Courage to Thrive

“... vulnerability is at the center of fear and shame, 
but it is also at the center of joy and gratitude and love and belonging.”     Brene Brown

 
"The secret of happiness is freedom.
And the secret of freedom is courage."    Thucydides


“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”    Anais Nin


“It takes courage to endure the sharp pains of self discovery, rather than 
choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.”    Marianne Williamson


“To wake up to our lives and to develop and sustain mindful awareness requires great courage. Mindfulness is not for the faint-hearted, nor for those timid or afraid of bearing witness to the often overwhelming brilliance, intensity, and complexity of their lives and world. To care deeply enough about waking up to our lives that we apply ourselves diligently to cultivating mindfulness, is a great act of courage, curiosity, and commitment. Properly practiced the intention to sustain mindful attention is supported by the attitudes of curiosity, openness, acceptance, and loving discernment."    Joel Levey

#516 Strength, Vulnerability & Reality

     We're all, at some level, aware of our own weaknesses, shortcomings, vulnerabilities. The effect this awareness has on us varies tremendously from person to person, as well as for each of us under different circumstances and over the span of a lifetime.
     Dysfunctional, yet all too common ways of dealing with the reality of our human condition include various types of: 
          overcompensation eg tough guy / gal, workaholism, narcissistic personality disorder;
          suppression eg pretending everything's always happy-happy; and 
          decompensation eg paralyzing anxiety / fear / depression.

     A healthy way of living in reality, in all its complexity, unpredictability, high ups & low downs is with a clear, open heart-mind. Does this sound as revolutionary as driving sober? It's common sense, yet as we all know, common sense is not common at all.
     Mindfulness practice increases & stabilizes metacognition - ability to observe the workings of our own mind: mental, emotional, verbal & behavioral reactions. We learn to clearly see when these are dysfunctional (noise, friction), accept these as they are, and observe their consequences (increased suffering for ourselves & others). As a result of this clear insight & acceptance of ourselves & others as we are ("our common human condition"), we naturally, gradually, at our own pace, let go of dysfunctional compensations, and become progressively healthier & wiser.
     See:  http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2014/02/490-safe-learning-environment.html

Steve McCurry   stevemccurry.com

#447 Shutting Down instead of Growing, Learning

     While it's relatively easy to think & talk about various physical or psychosocial capacities, embodying these is a qualitatively distinct matter - see: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/11/445-barriers-limits-ceilings-friction.html
     It's both fascinating and sad to see someone shut down, while I'm talking to them about a level for which they're not ready. Their eyes suddenly loose sparkling aliveness - like blinds suddenly dropping to quickly cover the scene beyond their status quo. Retreat to safety is their sudden silent cry. Though they may continue to agree, it's a dull, lifeless agreement which means "no".
     Skillful teaching, mentoring, coaching, psychotherapy, etc involves helping people feel safe while experiencing liminality - their growing edge. This is exceedingly challenging, because people normally feel vulnerable, exposed, out of control here. The resultant fear often leads to simple avoidance - "shut down," but can even manifest as anger & aggression - see: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2012/02/control-and-liminality.html
     A good educator requires many of the same qualities & skills a good psychotherapist possesses. Students, especially today, have extremely fragile egos, which makes learning particularly traumatic for them and thus may well project this outwardly, misperceiving educators as adversaries.
      Students with the will & skills to succeed 
1) recognize their own boundaries, & do not mistake these for solid, permanent barriers; 
2) do not mistake educators, therapists etc as enemies, but recognize them as collaborators; 
3) confidently, persistently, keep opening up to more & more broadly encompassing knowledge.

#66 Openings

     “The more we open ourselves, the more our energy and effort in practice flow. We become a channel or conduit for energy. This energy is the power of expansion and opening, not an energy of struggle. It is a power of the heart. If we are willing to bring a wholehearted effort to every aspect of our practice, the very effort itself brings more energy as we touch this great capacity within us.”           J Goldstein & J Kornfield

      “I just went through a series of heart attacks, and the greatest gift that’s come out of that for me is a deeper appreciation of vulnerability, which is usually seen as weakness. But I’m experiencing it as a kind of porousness, of feeling less defended, less armored. If we can impart to younger people the gift of that vulnerability, it may help them to embrace aging.”                                       Frank Ostaseski

Photo: RuthC   www.dpreview.com