#740 Goals, Failures & Paradox

"Nothing to do,

Nowhere to go,

No one to be."

     What a perplexing koan, riddle - or - statement of fact? It sure sounds like a corrective for us goal-oriented workaholics, anxiously struggling with time-poverty, low self-esteem, etc. Below Jon Kabat-Zinn clearly expands on this theme:

     “The goal of mindfulness practice, if there can be said to be a goal at all (since the practice emphasizes non-duality and therefore non-striving) is simply to experience what is present from moment to moment. Thus, emotional reactivity, and the full range of emotional states available to human beings are as much a valid domain of meditative experience as experiences of calm or relaxation. 
     The cultivation of mindfulness is an arduous challenge, in which one learns to face and work with the full range of emotions and mind states. Frequently, relaxation in the way it is usually formulated, would be an entirely inappropriate response to human situations and problems. If it is offered as the ‘solution’ or the heart of a meditative approach to stress reduction, it will introduce inevitable conflict because of its emphasis on a desirable endstate to be achieved. If one one fails to experience or ‘achieve’ relaxation, then one has failed, and the practitioner has either to conclude that she herself is somehow inadequate, or that the technique is lacking. In either case, there has been a thwarting of one’s goals and expectations which can lead to a sense of inadequacy and an arrested trajectory of development. 

     In contrast, it is impossible to ‘fail’ at mindfulness if one is willing to bring whatever it is that one is experiencing into the field of awareness. One does not have to do anything at all, or achieve a particular state in mindfulness practice. We sometimes tell our patients, in the spirit of the paradoxical nature of the non-dualistic approach, that ‘we will teach you how to be so relaxed that it is OK to be tense.’ ”  
       Jon Kabat-Zinn. “Mindfulness Meditation. What It Is, What It Isn’t, and Its Role in Health Care and Medicine.” Chapter 12 in: Ishii Y, Suzuki M, Haruki Y, eds. “Comparative and Psychological Study on Meditation.” Eburon, 2007.

Courtesy of Buddha Doodles www.buddhadoodles.com

#700 Koan, Open Question, Summary?

"There is only love.
All else, repeating stories exhausting themselves."

Rashani

rashani.com

#684 A Bird in the Hand Koan

     My daughter-in-law recounted a Tibetan teaching about having a wise relationship with transient moments of perceived happiness. 
     Consider a precious dove landing, briefly, on your open palm. And the moment the dove starts flying away ... can you truly love it, while letting it go?

     What if the dove's total freedom & happiness is not different than yours?

Agricola Street, Halifax, NS

#630 Satisfying the Heart's Longing

     "Choose a question that speaks most deeply to your longing. Sitting in an upright posture, settling in to your breath and body, breathe your question in. You can ask, for example, 'Who am I?' And then breathe out, 'Who am I?' However you frame your inquiry, stay with it. If your mind wanders, gently return to your question.
     The discursive mind, our companion ever since we developed the capacity for language, enjoys being in charge of everything, and will rush in to give obvious answers: 'I'm a women, I'm Melissa, I'm sixty years old, I'm a teacher, a parent, a wife. I'm horrible, I'm wonderful.'
     Every time one of these answers arises simply set it aside and ask again. Eventually, this kind of answer stops coming, and may be replaced by a feeling of profound wonder. This feeling, sometimes called 'great doubt,' is highly valued in Zen.
     If you are not working with a teacher, at this point in your practice you must be your own Zen master. Patiently and firmly redirect yourself away from intellectual understanding and toward immediate and intimate experience. Don't settle for anything that doesn't completely satisfy your longing.
     In this state of great doubt, something surprising might reveal itself to you. As you continue to set aside all of your conventional answers, you also set aside all of your expectations and explanations. The mind will want to turn your experience into theories and memories. Don't let anything turn solid.
     Keep asking and don't give up. Eventually you will learn to live a new kind of life - one that is continually surprising, profoundly ordinary, and full of wonder."

       Melissa Myozen Blacker. "Who Am I?" Shambhala Sun, March 2015
 

#538 Centrality of Love

     Here's a question (koan) to ponder: 
          "No matter what problem confronts me, what role does love play?" More specifically, UNCONDITIONAL love? Love:
          • without limitations
          • without conditions
          • without bounds
          • unchanging
          • completely committed

     Isn't unconditional love something we all seek to receive AND provide?
     What happens when we pretend that it's irrelevant?

     See: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2012/12/everyones-doing-their-best-under.html
     and: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/search?q=unconditional

     

#497 Ethics & True Well-being

     "Ethical value ... is built into the very fabric of consciousness. ... true well-being can only come from expressions of generosity, kindness, & wisdom, while greed, hatred, & delusion will always result in harm."           Andrew Olendzki PhD

     The above statement is not to be confused with a "should", be it societal or religious. People over the ages have come to understand this as a natural law - simply the way things work - much like gravity. Nevertheless, each person seems to need to discover or relearn this for themselves. "Shoulds" tend to automatically generate resistance in us at some level. A less confrontational way of learning wise advice (that seldom sinks in immediately), is by holding it in the back of our minds as a riddle, a koan, or open question - to be pondered over a long time, even a lifetime. Life presents innumerable opportunities to learn experientially how things work. 

Les Lovas watercolor - Blue Rocks, Nova Scotia

#463 What is Most Solid?

     Standing on stardust
     Ephemeral energy
     One thing endures
     Kindness

Steve McCurry   http://stevemccurry.com/

#436 Readiness for Change is Pivotal

     "According to the transtheoretical model of change, readiness for change is represented across a continuum, from 

          • precontemplation (denial or minimization of a problem),

          • contemplation (considering making change),

          • action (actively engaged in change), and 

          • maintenance (efforts taken to maintain changes already made)."

     This very recent study concluded that "most (current American) veterans presenting for Veteran Affairs mental health care services attend a limited number of visits. Those who report greater readiness for change attend a greater number of mental health visits in the year following intake. Motivational interviewing interventions implemented at entry into care may increase readiness for change and enhance use of needed mental health services."

       Jakupcak M. et al. Readiness for change predicts VA Mental Healthcare utilization among Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans. J Trauma Stress 2013; 26(1): 165-8.

     Readiness for change is, I strongly suspect, the single most important determinant re how much participants benefit from mindfulness workshops (not to mention the obvious: the quality & quantity of their participation). "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear."

     Intellectual curiosity can motivate people to register, but when not actually ready to change, their efforts may naturally be directed towards ensuring that conditions suit their status quo - they naturally identify with their preferences. Unfortunately, intellect is a very common wall or boundary between "self" and real life. Softening & dissolving boundaries is very important, at a healthy pace. For some of us, seeking the assistance of a mental health professional to help unblock natural healthy evolution is a remarkably wise choice.
       Wilber K. No boundary. Eastern and Western approaches to personal growth. Shambhala, Boston, 1979.

     When one is ready to change, one is open to trying new practices that are specifically designed to help participants experience & learn about their relationship to change itself. "Only have no preference" is a very useful koan or open question.

     Motivational interviewing is an evidence-based approach that's particularly effective in addiction work. Arguably, there are only quantitative differences between addiction to substances and the average person's clinging to the momentum of their sleep-walking life - or resistance to living a more consciously evolving life.

       May G. "Addiction and Grace. Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions." HarperCollins, NY, 1988. 

     See also: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/07/361-beyond-stress-management-resilience.html