#636 With Wise Persistence, Everything is Workable

     "The image of water is used over and over again in Taoism to describe the qualities of humility, flexibility, adaptability, persistence and acceptance. Water is described as giving life to all things yet not contending, flowing down to the humblest levels, adapting itself to whatever shape it finds itself in, and embodying patience and perseverance in its ability to cut through mountains, drop by drop.
     Over and over, Taoist writers use the image of water to emphasize the soft overcoming the hard. Water can overcome obstacles, not only by going around them but by simply biding its time and slowly eroding the obstacle, bit by tiny bit, until eventually a canyon is formed! This is a central tenet in Taoist philosophy. We can meet obstacles in our lives and find ways to creatively and constructively deal with them. The idea is not to avoid or run away from them or, on the other hand, try to ram head-on into them. But by slowly and assuming the quality of water, we can, perhaps, find a way to flow around, over or under them. Like water, we must be patient and persevering enough to realize that in time things will change, because that is the nature of things. The only constant is change."

       Solala Towler. "Chung Tzu - The Inner Chapters. The Classic Taoist Text. A New Translation of the Chuang Tzu with Commentary." Watkins Publishing, London, 2010. pxvii 

#566 Mindfulness Meditation - Expectations & Realities

     Most of us are drawn to meditation practice because we realize that we're anxious, stressed out, depressed. We want all that mess to go away so we can be happy. We hope to use this technique like a scalpel to excise the irritants from our lives.
     But, meditation practice does not work like that. In fact, we'll actually see reality with increasing clarity. Like anything else in life, when we lack the skills to deal with a situation eg skiing down a black diamond slope, we're scared & very reasonably, highly resistant. However, with expert instruction & practice, we gradually look forward to & actually enjoy black diamond runs. 
     Likewise, quality meditation instruction & life-long practice helps us develop skills to negotiate all the slopes of life, from bunny hills to back-country trails, with awareness, kindness & joy.

     More about Challenges & Misconceptions: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=misconceptions
     and "Meditation is Powerful": http://www.johnlovas.com/2014/02/meditation-is-powerful.html

Early morning mist

#556 Whose Life am I Living?

     Resisting doing what we know is best, is very common, and of course, very strange! It's like the old image of a tiny angel sitting on one shoulder whispering good suggestions, while a tiny devil sits on the other shoulder whispering self-destructive alternatives. We buy into this more than we realize. Regardless of which "voice" we obey, it's NOT really OUR OWN choice. Instinctively we resist conforming to other peoples' ideas - living other peoples' lives. We highly value agency, freedom of choice. 

     So it's worth spending quality time & energy investigating our own deepest values - what precisely gives most meaning to our lives? - then intentionally living life according to this internal compass, as closely & as consistently as possible. In this way, we can live the highest quality, "undivided life".

#513 Well-worn Grooves & New Perspectives

     At some point, we recognize that we're "creatures of habit". Of course those who know us, are well aware of our patterns of speech & behavior. We tend to react in a typical, fairly predictable fashion, to many situations. It's as if the infinite numbers & varieties of stimuli that we perceive from outside & inside our skin boundary could only "push" one of a small number of possible "buttons".
     The instant we become aware of the repetitive pattern of our thoughts, speech or behavior, we become conscious or mindful - no longer fused with, or trapped in "the momentum of our life". But it's very common and seductively easy to remain in a trance- or dream-like momentum. Even those who have some knowledge of mindfulness retain a strong emotional bias towards leaving their lives, warts & all, in the same old well-worn groove. They strongly resist shifting to greater consciousness. This is VERY similar to a sleepy, grumpy person being unhappy that it's time to wake up, get out of bed, & face the new day. They do not appreciate attempts, no matter how gentle or well-intentioned, to get them up.
     To the extent that we identify with the part of us that is in that sleepy, semi-conscious dream state, we resist change ie resist waking up. Filling life with distractions & addictions helps keep us asleep & keeps our attention away from the sad fact that we're living "a life unexamined".
     If we learn to be our own excellent sports psychologist, life coach & trainer, we can live a progressively more conscious, evolved quality of life. To the extent that we get fed up with sleeping our life away, we intentionally, progressively wake up. This is why we participate in mindfulness training.

     Below is a very good, recent overview of mindfulness by Jon Kabat-Zinn speaking in London.

#439 Armored for Life?

     An ideal state of being for helping professionals, particularly when helping people with existential & mental health-related issues, is "therapeutic presence." See: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2013/11/therapeutic-presence.html
     Clinicians, mentors, coaches, teachers, parents all share the common ideal of motivating people to improve their quality of life - "health promotion." The more they care about doing this, the less "neutral" or "objective" (disinterested in the results of their efforts) they may appear.
     Presenting facts & stats with a take-it-or-leave-it attitude is risk-free for the presenter (though deadly boring).
     Engaging with one's audience as a team with a common goal is risky, yet can nurture a positive, useful, motivating energy - for those with shared goals.
     Intellect by itself is a way of keeping things at a safe, theoretical distance - an effective barrier to engagement. Many of us are heavily protected (armored) from much of life - we live almost exclusively in our heads.
     Engagement is complete mind-heart-body-spirit involvement. The capacity to engage can be developed intentionally through mindfulness practice, which catalyzes a gentle, progressive process of de-armoring. 

     Many of us will remain armored for life, rigidly resisting all suggestions to de-armor as unscientific, impractical, a "sales pitch" etc. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/01/261-psychological-rigidity-i-will.html This is understandable, but tragic. See: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2013/08/promoting-healthy-personality.html

gordonpritchard   www.dpreview.com

#427 Because, and Only Because, It Works

     Instinctively, when we hear advice on what to do, or how to do something, we tend to take the contrary position - something in us wants to do the opposite. Call it stubbornness, resistance, noncompliance, dragging our feet - we don't appreciate "shoulds", rebel against rules, and resent being told what to do! We like to learn from our own experience, despite the inevitable mistakes.
     Mindfulness is all about experiential learning. Mindfulness methods are to be tried and experienced in our own life, practiced more if helpful, and let go of if not helpful at this time. The instructions are handed down from a long line of serious practitioners who've benefited from and have continuously refined this practice - it's all about what works best. When you experience the benefits from practicing, you know it's working.

carizi   www.dpreview.com

#395 Why Do We Resist Mindfulness?

     I read about meditation practices for 30 years before I ever started to actually meditate. Even then, I remained strongly inclined towards action, or at least trying to figure things out by thinking. The fact is, most of us have a lifetime of practice doing & thinking, and virtually no experience - hence no confidence in - dropping everything to sit still. So, "if it ain't broke", we stick with the momentum of our lives - keeping busy, physically & mentally.
     But the older we get, the more clearly we see the many ways in which "it IS broke", and the more often we realize that "keeping busy" is often an ineffective habitual nervous twitch. We gradually realize that even old dogs have to learn new tricks. Meditation is very effective for most things for which "keeping busy" is useless - that's why so many people around the world, and increasingly in Europe, Australia and North America meditate regularly.
     Obviously, most of us will be clumsy at it initially. But like any other skill, with training we progressively gain competence. Deciding "I'm no good at this", then quitting is a very common, very unfortunate pattern. What overweight person, on starting an aerobic exercise program, ever declared "Yes, I'm damned good at this!"? - None! Persistence and steady practice is how we gain competence at anything worthwhile. 
     Attention NORMALLY drifts all over the place. Gently, repeatedly, with endless patience, we keep bringing attention back to our focus of attention - THAT's a huge part of the practice. What we primarily develop is NOT a blank slate mind, but rather gentleness, acceptance, humility & great patience - this is transformational. ... But we all start impatient and a bit arrogant!

Harriet Irving Botanical Gardens, Wolfville, Nova Scotia

#168 Effort in Moderation - Right Effort

     "Following your breath is not effortful. When you find yourself making an effort, you are adding to something that is already complete. Try giving your focused, alert awareness 50 percent less effort. The effort is brought simply to the intention and action of becoming still, so that the silt may begin naturally to settle in the stillness of the mind, like water becoming clear. Coming home is letting go, allowing resistance to drop away as it softens in the mind of breathing. Is it effortful to let go? Letting go is already dropping effort." 

        Murphy S. Upside-down zen. Finding the marvelous in the ordinary. Wisdom Publications, Boston, 2006.    - a truly wonderful book - highly recommended


     “Remember, this is not a mental struggle – it is not about thinking differently; rather it comes from getting out of our heads and into our bodies – that is, into the physical experience of the present moment.”                  Ezra Bayda

Photo: Alessandra Meniconzi    www.smithsonianmag.com

#48 Engagement

     As we grow older, we increasingly encounter the complex real-life existential challenges of constant change, aging, sickness and death. We're repeatedly forced to choose our response: some form of avoidance (shutting down) - OR - full engagement (opening up).

     Avoidance behaviours are very common, easy, and lead to psychological difficulties. Engaging with reality is uncommon, challenging, and leads to a peaceful, deeply satisfying life.
     A major component of mindfulness training is noticing and accepting our own cognitive, emotional and physical resistance (avoidance) to even simple projects eg sitting still for 5 minutes. Under the laboratory-like conditions of this training, we learn experientially that it's our resistance, not discomfort, that causes most of our suffering. Acceptance of temporary discomfort, not judging it negatively, but developing a scientific curiosity about its changing characteristics, and persisting in the activity (eg sitting still for 5 minutes) becomes progressively easier, and more peaceful.
     Through mindfulness we learn to remain fully engaged, with valued current action, despite discomfort, (initially) to achieve long-term valued goals. With practice, the present moment expands, we learn to rest in the process, yet quietly, goals also are met. Mindfulness appears to be a training in full (mind-heart-body) engagement - wholeness - itself.

Photo Sonia   www.dpreview.com