#556 Whose Life am I Living?

     Resisting doing what we know is best, is very common, and of course, very strange! It's like the old image of a tiny angel sitting on one shoulder whispering good suggestions, while a tiny devil sits on the other shoulder whispering self-destructive alternatives. We buy into this more than we realize. Regardless of which "voice" we obey, it's NOT really OUR OWN choice. Instinctively we resist conforming to other peoples' ideas - living other peoples' lives. We highly value agency, freedom of choice. 

     So it's worth spending quality time & energy investigating our own deepest values - what precisely gives most meaning to our lives? - then intentionally living life according to this internal compass, as closely & as consistently as possible. In this way, we can live the highest quality, "undivided life".

#450 Growth & Integration are Lifelong Practices

     "Everyone is equal" (see: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2013/12/very-different-individuals-goals-values.html) is a popular concept, but may not be reasonable across the board. Specifically, are conservers (who seek the security & harmony of living in accord with social norms), achievers (who value social recognition & achievement), and seekers (who seek personal knowledge & independence of social norms) all equally evolved psychosocially - OR - does each person need to become a "seeker"?

     The most obvious drawback with being a conserver or achiever is that their priority to "fit in" with any status quo (government, corporation, gang, cult, friends etc) always comes at a personal & societal cost.
     Seekers do not blend seamlessly into existing cultures. A good part of their energy is - & IMHO everyone's should be - directed towards following an internal compass pointing towards a life of increasing depth, breadth & meaning. Nelson Mandela was a wonderful seeker.

       Helson R, Srivastava S. Three paths of adult development: conservers, seekers, and achievers. J Pers Soc Psychol 2001; 80(6): 995-1010.

Wong Heng Meng   http://travel.nationalgeographic.com