#728 Who's the busiest, most stressed-out, most exhausted?

     Don't we want to be talked about with admiration: "Oh, she's SO busy!" How many of us are workaholics, with tremendous drive & stamina, mostly wasted on busy-ness, spinning our wheels, trying to prove to ourselves & others how hard we work, how important & indispensable we are?

          “Do not confuse motion and progress.
          A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress."            Alfred A. Montapert 

 
     Then there's "non-doing" - the sense of rightness & effortlessness, arising from authenticity & congruence. It happens when behavior is skillful, decreasing suffering & increasing happiness long-term for oneself & others. There's no inner conflict, friction or noise, only silence, stillness, peace. The ego is quiet, allo- & ecocentric (rather than egocentric). Centeredness.

 

Fall in Halifax

#682 How Meaningful?

     As we get older, it seems we try to squeeze more & more things from our "bucket list" into a shorter & shorter space of time - like several "trips of a lifetime" each year, year-after-year! We become desperate to keep busy - clearly needing to remain permanently distracted.
     Is this really the best use of the limited time we have left to live?

     What about QUALITY (vs quantity)? What about MEANING (vs distraction)? Shouldn't we inquire deeply "who am I?" "What is this?" "How can I embrace life most authentically?"

     Isn't quantity & busyness inversely related to quality? Shouldn't we carefully choose what we do, prioritizing only those things that have the most meaning for us at this time of life? Isn't it time to quit trying to escape, but to engage life with an open heart-mind?

Monet's garden, Giverny

#674 No Time to BE Mindful ???

     "Definitions of mindfulness ... focus upon a number of qualities

          (a) a deliberate intention to pay attention to momentary experience, 

          (b) a marked distinction from normal, everyday modes of consciousness, 

          (c) a clear focus on aspects of active investigation of moment-to-moment experience, 

          (d) continuity of a precise, dispassionate, non-evaluative, and sustained moment-to-moment awareness of immediate experience, and 

          (e) an attitude of openness, acceptance, kindness, curiosity and patience."

       Hofmann FG, Grossman P, Hinton DE. "Loving-Kindness and Compassion Meditation: Potential for Psychological Interventions." Clin Psychol Rev. 2011 November ; 31(7): 1126–1132. doi:10.1016/j.cpr.2011.07.003. 

     Since we tend to live "in our heads", theories are important, too important. We don't really consider BEING mindful in our own daily, moment-by-moment life - at least not now, maybe later, when we're not so busy ...... 

     Even sincere young people taking & apparently "enjoying" an 8-week MBSR course typically "don't get the chance" to practice between classes, often "get too busy" & drop out before finishing the course, and "don't get around" to filling out a one-page course evaluation.

     But mindfulness is NOT THEORETICAL, and it's not just another "add-on" to one's overcrowded litany of stuff to get done.  

     Mindfulness is about actually living RIGHT NOW within our most evolved operating system, with an open heart-mind. How can we not have time to live optimally?

How To Enter?

 

#672 Black-Box Life

     For most people, life is a black-box: imagined to be solid, unchanging, indestructible, impenetrable, dark, not to be looked at closely. Never mind the wise counsel that "a life unexamined is not worth living." 
     Most of us do our utmost to keep feverishly busy, precisely so we won't have to ponder the two most meaningful questions: "Who am I?" and "What is this?" Avoidance, magical thinking, dogmatism and rigidity go hand-in-hand. A quick hard response to complex questions keeps things simple & controllable - but only in fairy tales.

     Sitting still, letting go of self-talk, opening oneself, remaining as open as one can, as long as one can, to actual reality - things as they are - is the opposite of a black-box life. It's a decision to step out of a dark, boxed-in prison, into the light and openness of real life. It's a bit scary at first, but prisoners can and do become acclimatized to, and come to enjoy freedom.

#499 What is there to Accept?

     "Growing up" is an interesting process. A wise parent introduces new experiences to her child very gradually, so that these changes stimulate healthy growth & maturation. We know that exposure to too much, too early, results not in healthy maturation but counterproductive stress.
     However, our maturation process extends far past the time we leave home - it truly is "lifelong learning". So we ourselves must, consciously & unconsciously, become our own gatekeepers - ideally titrating new material at a pace we find growth-stimulating. Unfortunately, some of us can't say no, taking on way more than we can handle well; while others get stuck in the opposite rut - living very small, boring, unchallenging lives. What we assume we can't handle well, we consciously & unconsciously avoid, delay, suppress, oppose etc.
     Through mindfulness training, one of the many things we become increasingly consciously aware of, and learn to accept, is our current gatekeeper role, how it affects our life, and the fact that the actual quality of our life is literally in our hands.
     Then, upon becoming aware of models & roadmaps of normal psychosocial development (evolution of consciousness, or maturation), we realize that human potential is literally beyond anything we can currently imagine. We become & remain aware of, & accept the fact, that we're up in the air, sitting alone at the controls, flying our own personal helicopter called "this life" to destinations we've never experienced before. This is both amazing & daunting. We're called to be our own personal highly-skilled gatekeepers, sports psychologists, & life coaches.

     See: http://www.johnlovas.com/2012/01/post-traumatic-growth.html
     And: http://www.johnlovas.com/2014/02/meditation-is-powerful.html

Healer by Steve McCurry   stevemccurry.com

#395 Why Do We Resist Mindfulness?

     I read about meditation practices for 30 years before I ever started to actually meditate. Even then, I remained strongly inclined towards action, or at least trying to figure things out by thinking. The fact is, most of us have a lifetime of practice doing & thinking, and virtually no experience - hence no confidence in - dropping everything to sit still. So, "if it ain't broke", we stick with the momentum of our lives - keeping busy, physically & mentally.
     But the older we get, the more clearly we see the many ways in which "it IS broke", and the more often we realize that "keeping busy" is often an ineffective habitual nervous twitch. We gradually realize that even old dogs have to learn new tricks. Meditation is very effective for most things for which "keeping busy" is useless - that's why so many people around the world, and increasingly in Europe, Australia and North America meditate regularly.
     Obviously, most of us will be clumsy at it initially. But like any other skill, with training we progressively gain competence. Deciding "I'm no good at this", then quitting is a very common, very unfortunate pattern. What overweight person, on starting an aerobic exercise program, ever declared "Yes, I'm damned good at this!"? - None! Persistence and steady practice is how we gain competence at anything worthwhile. 
     Attention NORMALLY drifts all over the place. Gently, repeatedly, with endless patience, we keep bringing attention back to our focus of attention - THAT's a huge part of the practice. What we primarily develop is NOT a blank slate mind, but rather gentleness, acceptance, humility & great patience - this is transformational. ... But we all start impatient and a bit arrogant!

Harriet Irving Botanical Gardens, Wolfville, Nova Scotia

#247 Time, Timeless, Timelessness

     In our era of compulsive busyness, restlessness and distraction, the term "time-poverty" has been aptly coined. Yet aren't we all travelers on a brief journey called life?

     The true traveler has no destination
     and no fixed time of arrival.                        Laozi

Overflowing Fragrance   http://www.chineseartpaintings.com/2cj015f.html

#231 Practice, Distractions, Letting go, Accumulating

     It's somewhat surprising that even among those who complete and seem to benefit from an 8-week MBSR course, the question arises: is there a follow-up course containing 'new' information? The implication being that now they 'get it' and unless there's something new and different to stimulate (distract) the mind, they'd be bored.
     One of the reasons that we sit still, silently, for up to 50 minutes at a time is precisely to let go of distractions - habitual busyness, so we can clearly study the mind.
     Fortunately, people do take the 'same' MBSR course several times sequentially, and progressively deepen their practice and understanding each time. In fact MBSR facilitators could never teach the exact same course twice because the depth of our understanding is also progressively increasing with daily practice.
     In reality, we're only able to hear or appreciate what we're ready for. As we mature psycho-spiritually, we actually appreciate things as if we heard them for the very first time. So 'beginner's mind' is really a way of avoiding 'premature closure' - the common tendency to catch the drift of a theme and immediately 'shut down', because one (mistakenly) assumes one already 'knows all about it'.
     We can spend all of our waking hours these days reading the flood of scientific and other papers and books on mindfulness should we wish to simply accumulate knowledge. No matter how much we read about mindfulness - but don't practice it - we know NOTHING about it. More importantly, such scholars derive NO benefit in terms of decreasing their own suffering, or improving their quality of life.
     Those who teach mindfulness MUST have a deep ongoing personal practice, guided by wise teachers, if they are to truly help themselves & others. "See one, do one, teach one" is just plain wrong when it comes to being a guide to an immensely deep, broad, way of life.

     Practice refers to the discipline of cultivating a crucial capacity of mind, such as wisdom or concentration. Practices are rehearsals of desired qualities, which eventually become spontaneous, natural ways of being.” 
       Walsh R. “Essential spirituality. The 7 central practices to awaken heart and mind.” John Wiley & Sons Inc, NY, 1999.

Photo: giants   www.dpreview.com