Showing posts with label compulsivity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label compulsivity. Show all posts

Wednesday, 19 December 2018

#758 Towards Stillness ...


     Mindfulness practice gradually leads us from feeling uncomfortable in our own skin, distractions & mindless compulsive activity, towards stillness, peace & seeing things as they are, clearly, right here & now, and appropriate responses.

     “… meditation practice can show you how helpful the practice of restraint can be. You sit … and you don’t move. If you’re uncomfortable, you remain sitting still with the discomfort for an entire half hour. You do not move. You don’t get up after five minutes just because you have an odd thought; you stay with it and see what happens.

     When we hold still, we create a field of clarity for ourselves. We learn restraint. Yes, there are parts of the self that resist that clarity, and then the body jumps into movement to cloud the field: we scratch our nose, rearrange our limbs, and shift our attention. And we miss the moment of holding still, of clarity and readiness. Doing this practice for many years, I find that learning restraint in this way is especially valuable for people like me who jump around from one thing to the next. The restraint of holding still allows me to enter a state of presence and intimacy that I wouldn’t get otherwise. Without it, I might embarrass myself by getting up and walking out of the meditation room!
     But learning restraint is much more important. In terms of sex, anger, and greediness, restraint can be the key to compassion and skillful action. When we’re ready to do something really unskillful, suddenly a little shadow of awareness comes up in our minds, and we don’t abuse, we don’t yell, we don’t grasp; we just stay still. In that moment of restraint, we can discover our own strength, our own integrity.” Pat Enkyo O’Hara



Tuesday, 26 May 2015

#688 Loosening the Grip

     I suspect a lot of us are burdened by an impossible-to-achieve, idealized image of how we'd dearly love to be perceived. 
     It's very instructive & humbling becoming aware of the number & variety of maneuvers we execute to avoid consciously experiencing the painful gap between this ideal & reality. We pour so much of our energy into guarding & mending the hurt part of ourselves that never could, nor ever will be able to live up to others' expectations. No amount of work, dieting, fancy clothes, fancy trips, booze, drugs, plastic surgery, or any other compulsive activity or avoidance helps.

     Could it be that life is not, after all, about perfecting our appearance, possessions, intelligence, wealth, or fame? One of Adyashanti's guiding principles: "to progressively realize what is not absolutely True is of infinitely more value than speculating about what is."

     What if letting go of terrified, obsessive self-concern, is not only feasible, but in fact transforms each of us small, starving-for-love particles, into so much more than we can currently imagine?


Monet's Bedroom

Saturday, 3 May 2014

#529 Keep On Waking Up

     During meditation we're trying to notice, as early as possible, each time we slip away into one of our basic story lines or daydreams. 
     Why do we compulsively keep escaping from the here & now? It's very important to carefully notice how we feel immediately before the urge to escape arises. 
          • How does it feel immediately before we run to the fridge (when not hungry)?  
          • How does it feel immediately before we check our smart phone (though there's nothing important going on)?
          • How does it feel immediately before we jump up to go somewhere (though there's nowhere in particular we need to go)?

     Does compulsive avoidance work - get us where we need to be? And if not, is it time to let it go?


       Compulsivity is a tendency to repeat the same, often purposeless acts, which are sometimes associated with undesirable consequences. http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/impulse-control-disorders/understanding-differences-between-impulsivity-and-compulsivity




Wednesday, 19 December 2012

#247 Time, Timeless, Timelessness

     In our era of compulsive busyness, restlessness and distraction, the term "time-poverty" has been aptly coined. Yet aren't we all travelers on a brief journey called life?

     The true traveler has no destination
     and no fixed time of arrival.                        Laozi



Overflowing Fragrance   http://www.chineseartpaintings.com/2cj015f.html