#679 How We Keep Pulling Away from Life

     Very few of us, even if actively trying, can consistently embrace life with an open heart-mind. Why not? 

     We can see the reasons most clearly during sitting meditation. Self-talk, self-comfort, self-preservation, self-promotion - we incessantly, continuously obsess over "me, myself & I", despite the fact that doing so actually guarantees suffering. We observe this most clearly during meditation, but it's something we do all the time!
     Egocentricity, though extremely common, is pathological and unwise, because it does not bring us happiness; nor will it keep us living forever, so we must learn to release this obsessive-compulsive death-grip on the "self"!

     Opening our heart-mind towards the welfare & genuine happiness of others (allocentric), animals, & the environment (ecocentric) is wise, because it does bring everyone, including ourselves, genuine happiness and a meaningful life.

Monet's flowers

#613 Nothing Personal

     We tend to "take it personally" when people treat us in uncaring, nasty, or cruel ways. I've felt this many, many times in my life. Yet, the fact is that I play an insignificantly tiny part in most of these people's lives. How they behave, has little to do with me, and almost everything to do with the rest of their lives, past and present. So taking their behavior personally is actually a bit egocentric. The world does not revolve around me. Things happen for innumerable, complex, interrelated reasons, of which I'm a very tiny part. 

     So what should I concentrate on if not my feelings, my comfort, my wishes, my needs, my security, my convenience, my ...?

     "Be kind, for everyone is carrying a heavy load."

#591 Perfect Freedom - the Path MIRRORS the Goal

     We can ALL attain the state of perfect freedom described below - but how? 
     In mindfulness, the goal & path are one - a moment-by-moment choice to be mindful (aware), instead of mindless (inhabiting the egocentric "ordinary mind"). 
     We cannot "get to" mindfulness by being mindless, no matter how hard we try. Angry, impatient struggle only buries us deeper into the swamp of mindlessness. We practice mindfulness by resting in awareness, and when we notice that we've drifted off into mindlessness, we skillfully return to resting in awareness. Acceptance, gentleness, kindness are already aspects of mindfulness ie we're already instantly, effortlessly there!: http://www.johnlovas.com/2011/12/self-compassion.html
 
     A highly accomplished practitioner of meditation has been described as "a person who has actualized that perfect freedom that is the potential for all human beings. The flow of her consciousness is not the fixed repetitive pattern of our usual self-centered consciousness, but rather arises spontaneously & naturally from the circumstances of the present. The results of this, in terms of the quality of life, are extraordinary: buoyancy, vigor, straight-forwardness, simplicity, humility, serenity, joyousness, uncanny perspicacity, and unfathomable compassion. Her whole being testifies to what it means to live in the reality of the present. Without anything said or done, just the impact of meeting a person so developed, is enough change another's whole way of life."

       Jack Kornfield "Transmission - Receiving the Living Wisdom of Spiritual Teachers - In-depth reflections and teachings on the student-teacher relationship."           www.soundstrue.com

 

Antonio Celso Lima Mollo, National Geographic   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

#558 NEITHER Avoiding, Stopping, NOR Pushing Away

     "The reality is that we are a river - a living energy system of sensations & sights & sounds, an energy system of changing feelings & thoughts. And the point of meditation and mindfulness isn't to stop the river - which you can't do.

                    "You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf."

     That's really the point of mindfulness and meditation - to allow the experience you're having, which is always changing - and to find your composure in it."

       Jack Kornfield: The Case for Mindfulness and Wisdom in Law
       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLV4Cty06Q4

 

#535 Mindful Heart Monitoring

     Cultivating stable, continuous awareness - monitoring - the state of my mind-heart is key. Then I recognize:

           • What impact my being kind, aware & open mind-hearted has on my own & others' quality of life,
           • Compared to when I'm self-centered, "driven" & closed mind-hearted.

      "The path to loving-kindness will always entail our gentle attention to the very things that block our way to it."  
                              Ezra Bayda

      See:  http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/02/285-how-my-heart-feels-heavy-or-open.html
 

#526 Monitoring My State of Being - Moment-by-Moment

     Awareness of what's going on around us & what's going on inside of us are important components, but nowhere near all of mindfulness. Another vital level of awareness is monitoring our state of being or, in computer jargon, our operating system.
     We've all experienced this unique combination kind / loving, open-hearted, peaceful, silent, still, timeless, hypoegoic / egoless: being with a person or animal we love, performing highly meaningful activity, being in a special place, listening to special music etc.
     We've all also experienced being "stressed-out": fear / anger / anxiety / depression, armored, noise, feeling rattled / shaken, time-poverty, egocentric. If we examine our lives very carefully, the vast majority of our time is spent - to some degree - in this mode.
     Whether we're in the rare open-hearted mode - or - the almost continuous armored mode, we tend to blame external factors entirely. Aside from trying to make the external environment more comfortable & pleasing, we assume we have no control over our quality of life.

     Mindfulness training allows us see clearly & experience directly how WE are ENTIRELY RESPONSIBLE for our own state of being - in which operating system WE CHOOSE to live ie we choose our quality of life independent of external factors.
     You CAN open your mind-heart up to an infinitely greater quality of life.

Puppy Love from: smchealth.org       &       Stressed-Out from: knowmybody.com

#502 Self-improvement?

     Don't we all want to become better in some way? We may have recurrent daydreams of performing various actions better, looking better, becoming more likeable, more valued & appreciated, and thus feeling much better about ourselves. Essentially, we'd like to start from scratch & create a whole new "ideal" person.
     Letting go of self-judgment, and adopting self-acceptance & gentle kindness toward ourselves - as we are - is infinitely more beneficial AND practical than making ourselves feel sickeningly inadequate by constantly comparing ourselves to (our & society's) ideal, unreachable standards. This does NOT mean we succumb to the other extreme - failing to actively care for ourselves, others & the environment. There is a sane, practical middle way between obsessive perfectionism & giving up.
     Most importantly, we might be surprised to find that the quality of life we seek has little to do with our ideas of self-improvement, and almost everything to do with the state of being or level of consciousness which naturally manifests gentle, kind awareness.

Watatsumi Temple, Japan - by Xu Xiaolin - http://travel.nationalgeographic.com

#114 Qualities or Attitudes of Mindfulness

     Jon Kabat-Zinn highlighted 7 mindfulness qualities - how one attends to information during mindfulness. 
     Shauna Shapiro et al added 5 affective qualities, yielding a total of 12:

nonjudging, http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/04/115-nonjudging-quality-1.html

nonstriving, http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/04/116-nonstriving-quality-2.html

acceptance, http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/04/117-acceptance-quality-3.html

patience, http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/04/118-patience-quality-4.html

trust, http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/04/119-trust-quality-5.html

openness, http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/04/120-openness-quality-6.html

letting go, http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/04/121-letting-go-quality-7.html

gentleness, http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/05/122-gentleness-quality-8.html

generosity, http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/05/123-generosity-quality-9.html

empathy, http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/05/124-empathy-quality-10.html

gratitude, http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/05/125-gratitude-quality-11.html
and 

loving kindness. http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/05/126-loving-kindness-quality-12.html

       Cardaciotto L. Assessing Mindfulness: The Development of a Bi-Dimensional Measure of Awareness and Acceptance. PhD Thesis, Drexel University, 2005.

dspace.library.drexel.edu/retrieve/4264/Cardaciotto_LeeAnn.pdf

  

     These overlapping, interdependent, characteristic qualities or attitudes are cultivated by, & naturally arise from, mindfulness practice - much like physical strength, aerobic fitness, perseverance, etc arise for athletes from their training regimen.