#773 "Normal" Mood Swings?

    Most of us "have good days and bad days" - right? Not only that, but an increasing number of us can feel trapped for months in the lows of these so-called "mood swings." Often accompanying depression is anxiety, from chronic low-grade to all-out panic attacks. Unless these completely destabilize our daily life, we soldier on, and assume life's rough but "we can handle it!" Increasingly people see their family doctor and get antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds prescribed for some relief from the symptoms, but relatively few have psychotherapy. Increasing numbers of us are delving deeper into the spiritual roots of this global human dys-ease.

    Some rigidly assert that meditation is just a trick or mind-game to "take the edge off." Anything spiritual is too quickly & easily written off as "too deep," woo-woo, another Eastern "heresy," unscientific mumbo jumbo, "not really my thing," etc. Especially after we get into our 60s & 70s, a profoundly rigid, narrow thinking can grab hold, sometimes coupled with a heroic posturing in never changing one's mind. A sad, public display of such a petrified mind was the famous actor, Charlton Heston, then president of the National Rifle Association (NRA), declaring he would give up his rifle only when it was pried from his "cold, dead hands."

    I don't think I'm in the minority in that I've been learning, maturing & evolving a great deal over my 77 years of life, and have come a long way even in the past few months. When friends who've not seen me for a while sometimes tell me how good I look, I smile knowing that they're being kind. What I don't tend to mention is that I feel better than ever & that this profound sense of well-being has continued to increase over the decades, despite my creaky old body. So, vowing never to change one's thinking is as admirable as a grumpy toddler refusing to have their diaper changed. 

    Most of us, at least intellectually, concede that an open mind & open heart are essential to wise maturation. However life, particularly major trauma in early life, but really all forms & degrees of trauma condition us to armour our minds & hearts. And yet, the path forward is always, eventually, into & straight through all of our defences. With major trauma, trauma therapists provide expert guidance through this minefield. For more of us than we realize, psychotherapists can save us years of needless suffering.  
    Spirituality is not a substitute for psychotherapy - look up "spiritual bypassing." NEITHER are antidepressants & psychotherapy substitutes for spirituality.

    As is pretty clear by now, the people I admire most in the realm of life-long learning, maturing & evolving are the mystics - past & present. Their omega experience and perennial philosophy have a very long, inspiring history: https://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.com/2026/09/772-perennial-philosophy.html 
and https://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.com/2026/09/771-basics-of-waking-up.html 

    I've been very inspired by living mystics Helen Hamilton https://www.helenhamilton.org/ Angelo Dilullo https://simplyalwaysawake.com/ Jonathan Ashford https://www.jonathanashford.com/ and most recently, David Bingham https://davidbingham.org/ 

    In a particularly valuable video Bingham speaks with a female seeker who was suffering from anxiety & depression, and helps her - like he has many others - greatly improve the quality of her life. This video is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED - VERY WELL WORTH watching in its ENTIRETY: David Bingham's first conversation with Jessica Woods - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fp9NU0fngjA&t=15s 

    Jessica shares that she fears surrendering & realization might cause her to not care anymore about being a Mom to her young child. Bingham assures her that realizing one's true self is fortunately not like that, that she’ll actually be a better Mom. The mind is closely aligned with fears, most of which are irrational. Equanimity is not synonymous with indifference nor lack of empathy. However, equanimity is a state of calm & emotional balance, especially noticeable when facing stress, or difficult situations. So your emotions no longer need to wildly oscillate up & down with life's natural ups & downs. So mood swings may be very common, BUT NOT normal, NOR desirable.

    In subsequent blogs, I'll comment on details from this video, which for me - a slow learner - took over 28 years of serious practice to really "get" experientially. BUT it is VERY WORTHWHILE to directly experience. AND it does NOT need to take nearly that long. You can do this!!

 Brandon Flowers singing "Does It Ever Cross Your Mind?" 

 

#769 Being Right Here and Now

“Listening to the sounds that are right here now.
Open and receptive.
Gently opening to the sensations and feelings in the body.
Relaxing with what’s here.
Aware of that background of presence that’s always here.
That awareness that knows what’s happening.
That tender space that includes the life that arises moment-to-moment.”

Advises Tara Brach, in her fine guided meditation: https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-sacred-presence/

* 

Diamonds by Ingrid Goff-Maidoff

 

 “What if recognizing diamonds
was enough to make them yours
and you saw them now everywhere?
On the sunlit ocean; in the moonless sky;
on winter fields and the tips of branches after rain;
in smiling faces; the brook; the lake; the stream;
the kitchen stove; stairs; puddles, ice, clouds;
anywhere life glimmers and light glints;
kisses, belly laughs, bubbly,
wine, decay and crumbs;
flights of fancy, feathers,
teeth, words, breath….
Diamonds, diamonds,
all diamonds.
Would you see
then in truth
the very richness
that you are?”  

 

from Ingrid Goff-Maidoff's book: “What Holds Us. New and Selected Poems”

https://tendingjoy.com/products/what-holds-us-poems?_pos=1&_psq=What%20&_ss=e&_v=1.0

 

 

*

Sharing Silence by Gunilla Norris

“Within each of us there is a silence
—a silence as vast as a universe.
We are afraid of it…and we long for it.
When we experience that silence, we remember
who we are: creatures of the stars, created
from the cooling of this planet, created
from dust and gas, created
from the elements, created
from time and space…created
from silence.
In our present culture,
silence is something like an endangered species…
an endangered fundamental.
The experience of silence is now so rare
that we must cultivate it and treasure it.
This is especially true for shared silence.
Sharing silence is, in fact, a political act.
When we can stand aside from the usual and
perceive the fundamental, change begins to happen.
Our lives align with deeper values
and the lives of others are touched and influenced.
Silence brings us back to basics, to our senses,
to our selves. It locates us. Without that return
we can go so far away from our true natures
that we end up, quite literally, beside ourselves.
We live blindly and act thoughtlessly.
We endanger the delicate balance which sustains
our lives, our communities, and our planet.
Each of us can make a difference.
Politicians and visionaries will not return us
to the sacredness of life.
That will be done by ordinary men and women
who together or alone can say,
“Remember to breathe, remember to feel,
remember to care,
let us do this for our children and ourselves
and our children’s children.
Let us practice for life’s sake.”

 

 

Mark Brennan - Argyle Fine Art argylefineart.blogspot.com

#756 How and Who am I - Right Now? and Now? and Now?

     It's critical to keep tabs on ourself - often. Why? Because we drift & get lost - a LOT!

     "… studies on attentiveness show that people are only briefly & unpredictably attentive. Attention habitually diverts to unrelated thoughts & feelings, leaving any task at hand to be managed 'on autopilot.' These studies suggest that mindlessness ('mind wandering,' 'zoning out,' 'task-unrelated thought') is 'one of the most ubiquitous & pervasive of all cognitive phenomena' and that it often occurs unintentionally, without awareness, occupies a substantial proportion of our day, and leads to failures in task performance." Lovas JG, Lovas DA, Lovas PM. Mindfulness and Professionalism in Dentistry. J Dent Educ 2008; 72(9): 998-1009.
     And that doesn't even mention wallowing & catastrophizing - our addiction to the re-runs of the never-ending-story-of-me!

     So, CHECK IN - often & regularly: 

1. Where am I physically - right here & now?
This is to actually "land" from thought-world, to reality. 

2. How am I feeling - Stressed or Peaceful?
If stressed, is this beneficial (functional) in any way, or just conditioning? If your current situation is more appropriately handled peacefully (almost always), can I accept & gently release stress with self-compassion?

3. Can I shift into Authenticity?
Of course you can, no question. As soon as you let go of being stress - not feeling or having stress, but stress-as-an-identity - you return to being authenticity. Authenticity - who you are & have always been - is still, silent, at peace, and spacious enough to hold any & all of life's challenges, including your young frightened part ("poor,  hurt, needy me"), with unshakable equanimity & grace.
     This young part is a very small, temporary part, that reflects the effects of traumas & conditioning. It's nowhere near your actual identity, which is inconceivably vast. Don't take your young part so personally, so seriously! Hold it lovingly BUT lightly. Your authenticity is vast, fluid & completely untouched by life's inevitable ups & downs: gain & loss, status & disgrace, censure & praise, pleasure & pain. 
     Your authenticity can be compared to a wise, loving, nurturing grandparent or wise elder. Your young part can be compared to a three-year-old grandchild. The two have vastly different depths, scopes & capacities.  
     Who you really are is spacious enough to easily hold your young, beat-up part in safety & unconditional love. BE authenticity.

     “Inner peace doesn't come from getting what we want, but from remembering who we are.” Marianne Williamson

 

#723 What Does It Take for Us to Realize?

      “The separate self that we have invested our whole identity in is being exposed in this investigation as being completely nonexistent. It’s not there. The self, the separate self around whom we have our lives, our thoughts, and feelings and activities and relationships have revolved for so many decades – when we look for it – it’s not there. 
     Now it takes courage and love and clarity to begin to look. And many of us, not all of us, but many of us have to suffer intensely before life pushes us to ask these fundamental questions. Others come to it through other ways. But for many of us it’s repeated failure and suffering that makes us say ‘Hang on. Just stop. How much longer am I going to go on thinking and feeling this way. Why don’t I look at the fundamental presumption.’ And that starts with ‘What am I?’ ‘Am I this image, this cluster of sensations?’ 
     And as soon as we start looking – we don’t have to look very deeply – it’s obvious that we’re not what we thought we were."

       above transcribed from the Youtube video:
       "Rupert Spira - 'The Seamless Intimacy Of Experience' - Interview by Renate McNay"
       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAEwC4VjvyE

       The above non-dual inquiry method is very gentle compared to the challenges life hands out when we try - in vain - to cling to a fictional solid, fixed 'sense of self': http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=shipwrecks
    

 

#719 What's Our First Priority? And How's That Working?

     Automatically, reflexively, by default, we "look out for #1" - "me, myself & I" - we're self-centered. We're primarily concerned with our own safety, nutrition, shelter, health, wealth, power, prestige, fame, etc, etc, all of which, we assume (hope), means our personal happiness will be more or less assured. And there's nothing wrong about wanting to be happy - it's perfectly normal & reasonable.
     Many of us behave as if our happiness will increase in proportion to our health, wealth, power, fame, and the opulence of our clothes, homes, cars, vacations etc. But research shows that above a certain surprisingly modest family income, which permits having reasonable basic necessities, there's NO gain in happiness or quality of life with increasing wealth. I see parallels with ethanol consumption - a drink or two may feel good; being drunk does not; while alcoholism is heading for "rock bottom".
     Doesn't the phrase "Looking for love in all the wrong places" somehow resonate? If we're at all self-reflective, we'll notice a hunger or yearning that we can't seem to satisfy for any length of time, no matter what. Smart, young, energetic university students often seem certain that they control their own futures. Ahhh, the sweet illusion of control! However, as the decades flow by, we repeatedly see just how little control we have over our own & our loved ones' lives.
     The healthiest, most intelligent approach to transcending this hunger or yearning is found by discovering our true identity - who we really are. Wisdom traditions have known this for thousands of years: http://jglovas.wix.com/awarenessnow#!The-Real-Voyage-of-Discovery-New-Eyes/c17jj/56afc4e40cf2062bd412b06e

#711 Who Am I Really?

     “Today, we tend to live within an ethos of authenticity. We tend to believe that the ‘true self’ is whatever is most natural and untutored. That is, each of us has a certain sincere way of being in the world, and we should live our life being truthful to that authentic inner self, not succumbing to the pressures outside of ourself. To live artificially, with a gap between your inner nature and your outer conduct, is to be deceptive, cunning, and false.”
       David Brooks "The Road to Character." Random House, NY, 2015. 

     The refrain "I've got to be me", and Paul Anka's song (made famous by Frank Sinatra) "I did it my way" is very much like Brooks' statement above. The question arises: is our true nature simply equivalent to our egoic tendencies?

     A fascinating statement from a senior Zen teacher: 
          "You're perfect as you are.
           Try harder!"