#750 Comfortable Numbness vs Authenticity

     "To break through our comfort, our ease, our behavioral patterns, our habits, the power of our environmental instructions that we all receive from childhood to the present. It takes something powerful to cut through that and get our attention. 
     I often think of Tolstoy's novella that was published in 1885, 'The Death of Ivan Ilyich.' Ivan Ilyich is a common name, sort of like John Johnson, and it's about a person who lived wholly according to the dictates of his time and place. He went to the right school, he espoused the right attitudes, he married the right person, he lived in the right neighborhood, he practiced the career ladder. Nothing ever interrupted the flow of his life as it was supposed to be, until one day he has a pain in his side. The pain doesn't go away, and it turns out to be a terminal illness. After going through the five stages that Kubler-Ross later identified in the 20th century of denial first, and then anger at the interruption, and then bargaining, and then despair, he reaches acceptance in the final hours of his life. After he passes away, everybody around him is indifferent because it was about John Johnson, not about me. 
     Of course, what Tolstoy was suggesting is, again, here's a person who got his appointment, and paradoxically, probably lived a more authentic life in those final days and hours than all the rest of those years put together. (see 'Post-Traumatic Growth' literature)
     So it is for all of us: there's so much of our life that's routinized, and patterned, and goal directed—again, often good goals. At the same time, the psyche has another point of view, and when it wishes to, it will break through. I think [the word] 'summons' is both reflecting the intensity of that encounter with one's own soul, and also that it brings with it an accountability. If you get a summons from a court or a lawyer, you have to pay attention, and if you don't pay attention, there are going to be consequences."

James Hollis: "A Summons to a Deeper Life." 65min interview (podcast) with Tami Simon.
https://www.soundstrue.com/store/weeklywisdom?page=single&category=IATE&episode=13007&utm_source=bronto&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=N180304-WW&utm_content=This+Week:+Featuring+James+Hollis,+Joanna+Macy,+and+Karen+Brody

awakeningartsacademy.com

#727 Which Mode to Choose?

     Our minds operate, and thus we live, predominantly, in one of two very distinct modes.
     Conditioned mode:
Based on the capacities we inherit (DNA) and the influences of our environment, we learn a set of reaction patterns that favor our (DNA's / progeny's) survival. This is basic conditioning shared by all animals - like training rats in a cage. This set of reaction patterns is who we assume we are most of the time - our identity! It feels easy, automatic / autopilot, "natural", "don't rock the boat", trance-like. It's one more-or-less continuous, uninterrupted "story of me". We (and others) do gradually start seeing how predictable we are. So this approach to life does increasingly become repetitious, boring, almost claustrophobic.
     Awake awareness mode:
Sporadically, spontaneously, we sometimes feel very bright, alert, we sense everything much more clearly, are speechless (wordless), feel a sense of awe, gratitude, and feel amazingly alive. This silent, brightly alert, deeply peaceful sense can also be felt witnessing nature, a loved one (human or pet), hearing or reading poetry, wisdom literature, music, etc. This quality of awareness / life can be intentionally cultivated through, and experienced during meditation. What is awake awareness? Who are we?

     During the day, we can learn to regularly notice which mode we're in. We learn to increasingly choose awake awareness - to see with fresh eyes, think fresh creative thoughts, behave in fresh healthier ways. http://www.johnlovas.com/2016/07/fresh-opportunities-many-times-per.html
     Returning to the land of the walking dead (conditioned mode) is less and less palatable.