#574 Trying Really Hard and Feeling Frustrated?

     Life can be chronically, irritatingly frustrating - particularly for those of us who put an awful lot of time, effort and gut-wrenching desire into our work. We know we're putting more and more into it, yet the "returns on investment" are pitiful. We assume, that if we set our mind on a goal, any goal, with enough determination, sacrifice, effort, smarts etc, it's simply a matter of time before we achieve it. Then, and only then, will we gain worthiness, approval, respect, admiration, security, peace, and yes - even love. At some future point, but certainly not now, we're much too busy now, we will earn happiness.

     I have direct experiential awareness of this scenario, but fortunately, I'm less & less trapped in it. It's sad but interesting to see friends and colleagues in this same boat. Why do we strive so hard? Why are we so "driven"? Are you stuck in this mud up to your eyeballs?
     The two Nasrudin stories below may shed some clarifying perspectives:

       A man noticed Nasrudin intently inspecting the ground outside his door. 
       “Mulla,” he said, “what are you looking for?”
       “I’m looking for a ring I dropped,” Nasrudin replied.
       “Oh,” the man replied as he also began searching. “Well where exactly were you standing when you dropped it?”
       “In my bedroom,” Nasrudin replied, “not more than a foot in front of my bed.”
       “Your bedroom?!“ the man asked. “Then why are you searching for it out here near your doorway.
       “Because,” Nasrudin explained, “there is much more light out here.”


       One day, Nasrudin began talking to a man from another town. The man lamented, “I am rich, but I am also sad and miserable. I have taken my money and gone traveling in search of joy-but alas, I have yet to find it.” 
       As the man continued speaking, Nasrudin grabbed the man’s bag and ran off with it. The man chased him, and Nasrudin soon ran out of the man’s sight. He hid behind a tree, and put the bag in the open road for the man to see.
       When the man caught up, he located the bag, and his facial expression immediately turned from distress to joy. As the man danced in celebration of finding his bag, Nasrudin thought to himself, “That’s one way to bring joy to a sad man.”  

       Both Nasrudin stories from: http://www.rodneyohebsion.com/mulla-nasrudin.htm

Tribute to the Group of Seven

#424 Strive for the "Sure Thing" - OR - Trust Open-Hearted Engagement?

     It makes sense to put more care, time & effort into a project, so it will turn out closer to what we hope for. Of course it's easy to go overboard, only to (re)discover that no matter how hard we try, we can't perfectly control things. "The hurrier I goes, the behinder I gets!"
     Interestingly, mindfulness advises focusing on the process itself, rather than the goal. In fact, (excessively) focusing on the goal is considered a major impediment to reaching it. Excessive goal-orientation is "driven" by greed, fear, anxiety or some combination of these unhealthy emotions, which virtually block one's ability to pay attention to the journey - the actual path to the goal.
     We optimally attend to what we're doing when we're fully engaged - our mind-heart-body is open to the actual process eg taking care of a little child or pet. Our focus of attention is almost exclusively experiential, with minimal narrative focus. There seems to be a direct connection of some sort between the silent depths of ourselves and that of the person, animal or activity. There's a sense of love, kindness or perhaps a primal recognition. It feels very still, peaceful, timeless and right - radically different from greed, fear or anxiety. 
     One may even say that open-hearted engagement is the antidote for greed, fear & anxiety. We know both ends of this spectrum, but perhaps have more experience with the latter. Can we trust the former to guide our lives? Our moment-by-moment way of being holds the answer. Can we observe what guides (or drives) our behavior & the quality of life that naturally arises?

Bob Kaune   www.dpreview.com