#515 Meditation Tips

     Resting in open awareness. Porous & equanimous to constantly arising energies - as these pass through awareness, like clouds floating by the clear blue sky.

    "When you sit,
     you leave the front door open,
     you leave the back door open,
     and you don't serve tea."                   Shunryu Suzuki 

      Zen talk by Koun Franz: "Beyond Words – December 19, 2013": http://zennovascotia.com/dharma-talks/

Andre Gallant   www.andregallant.com

#514 Surviving - OR - Thriving in your Studies?

     It's well known that most of our stresses today, are misinterpretations of threats to our egos, as if these were threats to our actual lives. Extreme examples: one man looks at another man, or another man's girlfriend, "the wrong way", causing (at times lethal) confrontation; paralyzing anxiety over writing "high-stakes exams" eg fellowship, board or bar exams; cyber-bullying tragically leading, in some cases, to suicide. We routinely take some things way too seriously; while at the same time, we pay too little attention to things that actually matter. How we direct our attention & energy can make the difference between barely surviving & thriving.
     For students it's very important to realize that excessive stress also negatively impacts judgment & memory. While studying, if you're worried about doing badly in a subject, you likely waste huge amounts of time & energy listening to negative self-talk. Stress also interferes with your ability to remember the material, so the efficiency of your studying is greatly reduced. Then, while writing the exam, if you're stressed, your judgments eg choices you make on a multiple-choice exam, are negatively impacted. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2014/02/490-safe-learning-environment.html
     Not well known is the fact that the opposite of fear-based stress is love. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/06/140-love.html How much effort did it take for you to learn all sorts of information about your favorite sport or hobby? None - it certainly didn't feel like work! How difficult is it for you to remember all this info? Easy, effortless! 
     To the extent you're able to bring about liking or even loving the subject that you're studying, you eliminate all the self-defeating, energy-draining barriers that keeps the information from going deep into your memory banks. If you don't find the subject itself inherently likeable, can you see how much good will come from knowing it? Now, what you study, will behave EXACTLY like all that information about your favorite sport or hobby. You are learning to open up, & welcome in information. Once it's deeply within "the marrow of your bones", it's readily retrievable & appropriately applicable in any context (test or real-world eg clinical application).
     Learn to become aware of self-talk, thoughts & moods. If they're not helpful, learn to let them go & switch over to ones that work for you! YES YOU CAN!

IlanS   www.dpreview.com

#513 Well-worn Grooves & New Perspectives

     At some point, we recognize that we're "creatures of habit". Of course those who know us, are well aware of our patterns of speech & behavior. We tend to react in a typical, fairly predictable fashion, to many situations. It's as if the infinite numbers & varieties of stimuli that we perceive from outside & inside our skin boundary could only "push" one of a small number of possible "buttons".
     The instant we become aware of the repetitive pattern of our thoughts, speech or behavior, we become conscious or mindful - no longer fused with, or trapped in "the momentum of our life". But it's very common and seductively easy to remain in a trance- or dream-like momentum. Even those who have some knowledge of mindfulness retain a strong emotional bias towards leaving their lives, warts & all, in the same old well-worn groove. They strongly resist shifting to greater consciousness. This is VERY similar to a sleepy, grumpy person being unhappy that it's time to wake up, get out of bed, & face the new day. They do not appreciate attempts, no matter how gentle or well-intentioned, to get them up.
     To the extent that we identify with the part of us that is in that sleepy, semi-conscious dream state, we resist change ie resist waking up. Filling life with distractions & addictions helps keep us asleep & keeps our attention away from the sad fact that we're living "a life unexamined".
     If we learn to be our own excellent sports psychologist, life coach & trainer, we can live a progressively more conscious, evolved quality of life. To the extent that we get fed up with sleeping our life away, we intentionally, progressively wake up. This is why we participate in mindfulness training.

     Below is a very good, recent overview of mindfulness by Jon Kabat-Zinn speaking in London.

#512 Complex Reality & Simplistic Certainty

     When we observe highly energized people "on a mission", they're absolutely certain that what they're about to do, or are doing, is 100% right, must be done, and immediately. Even infamous people, who create tremendous suffering, can remain steadfastly certain that what they did was right & reasonable. See: Burton RA. “On being certain. Believing you are right even when you’re not.” St. Martin’s Griffin, NY, 2008.
     Rigid, black-or-white, dichotomous thinking like this is characteristic of teens, people under great stress, or adults whose psychosocial development has arrested. It's very attractive (yet deluded) to be certain about things in a very complex, constantly changing world, filled with ambiguity. This is what attracts people to dictators, hellfire & brimstone religious groups, cults, gangs etc. The overriding fear of complexity will keep many such folks staunchly ignoring mounting evidence that their dogmas are irrational.
     After sufficient life experience, most of us prefer to employ freedom of choice based on mature judgment. Constantly gathering up-to-date information about what's most appropriate in the present moment is just sensible, iterative learning. We need to be aware, flexible, & humble enough to keep learning from, adapting to, & growing with, reality.

tr4driver   www.dpreview.com

#511 Who Am I - Right Now?

     As soon as I pause to consider "Who am I?", I'm immediately being mindful - a feature of the wise adult operating system (WAOS) - see yesterday's post. Perspective, awareness of how things interconnect, how everything is interdependent, how every thought, word & action has immediate local as well as long-term distant effects are important components of wisdom. Behavior that arises from this place of relative stillness tends to be appropriate, kind, and serves the long-term welfare of many.
     But when I'm "driven" to think, speak & act by unexamined energies, short-term gain for my ego is almost invariably the driver, the source of the energy. And long-term pain is very likely the result, for myself, others & the environment. Feeling "energized" to do something should always be carefully examined rather than quickly acted out. Reasonable courses of action seldom come attached to a brief rush of emotion. Behind energized zeal, there is often aversion, anger, hatred, and ultimately, fear - the fearful child operating system (FCOS) actually driving the whole sorry misadventure.
     "Who am I?" is such a critical question to ask oneself, very often, since we make important, life-changing choices moment-by-moment. EVERYTHING depends on the OS that's functioning - who we are - scared child OR wise adult - who do I want running my life? Please also read: http://www.johnlovas.com/2014/03/power-its-origin-how-to-use-it.html

upuaut   www.dpreview.com

#510 Embracing or Enabling?

     We get many clues about which operating system (OS) is operating in us at any given time.
     The fearful / hurt child operating system is emotionally labile, up & down according to security & pleasure (or vice versa) for the self-centered child. In this OS, we're constantly chasing after, or running from something, assuming our (inner child's) happiness hinges entirely on the success or failure of our frantic striving. Not enough time or crushing boredom; anxiety about lacking or emptiness pervade.
     The wise adult / grandparent operating system is equanimous, open-hearted, generous, and equally concerned about the welfare of others (allocentric), own inner child (self-compassion), & the environment (ecocentric). A profound sense of ease, connection, completeness, gratitude, stillness, and timelessness pervades.
     It's a very common mistake to compulsively attempt to satisfy our inner fearful child's appetites, but most of this is dysfunctional enabling. The more we're preoccupied by these appetites or our desire to satisfy them, the more power we give the immature inner child over our adult lives. It's very much like fantasizing about, & repeatedly obtaining alcohol when one's an alcoholic. Yes the wanting is there, BUT there's a vast universe at hand that is happily independent of ethanol & our addictive craving. To the degree that we can open our mind-heart to this vast reality, and can hold our hurt inner child in safety & unconditional love, the power & relevance of the craving fades.
     Consciously recognizing the fearful child effects, embracing without pandering to the inner child, and instead, opening up to the present moment, opening our mind-heart to what's appropriate right now, we steadily become more & more stabilized in our mature wise way of being. 

Jonathan Shapiro   www.dpreview.com

#509 Letting Go of Friction & Noise

     We have automatic, conditioned reactions to many life events. Some reactions are avoidant or aversive - we try to keep unpleasant, difficult or otherwise threatening things away physically, away from our heart / emotions (via armoring) or at the very least away from our consciousness (via suppression, repression). We reflexively erect pretend boundaries or barriers between ourselves and challenging reality.
     Our other reactions involve grasping or clinging - we automatically chase after, try to catch & permanently hang onto things we want or think we must have. 
     Grasping arises from instinctive fearful neediness, avoidant behavior arises from instinctive fearful aversion. Both are fear-based & self-centered. Both are primitive instincts we share with animals, right down to single-cell organisms. This echo from our collective & personal evolutionary past expressed through our fearful inner child can be sufficiently powerful as to dominate our life OR at the very least, add a great deal of undesirable friction or noise.
     Enabling (in the negative, psychological sense - see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enabling) our inner child predictably drains us of energy, and predictably leads to suffering. As we gradually become aware of this repetitive, dysfunctional pattern, we become motivated to find a better way to live - more & more like the inner wise grandparent.
     Mindfulness practice is all about intentionally, gently but persistently, shifting (evolving) our level of consciousness ("operating system") from fearful child to wise adult.

Steve McCurry   stevemccurry.com

#508 Does Mindfulness Practice Lead to a Consistent "High"?

     NO! But some us, early in our practice, do feel "high" or "up" - for a while. We're in a blissful trance, brought about by false expectations of mindfulness practice.
     “... how easily we place a veneer of spiritual practice and spiritual correctness over deeply unresolved personal problems."        Preece R. “The Wisdom of Imperfection. The Challenge of Individuation in Buddhist Life.” Snow Lion Publications, Ithaca NY, 2006.  

     Once this placebo effect wears off, the "honeymoon period" ends, and our feet land firmly on the ground. Everything changes constantly, including our circumstances & moods. With mindfulness practice, the severity of our mood swings diminishes, because we take normal events less & less personally, and therefore suffering diminishes.
     Mindfulness practice is about waking up to reality, not escaping to "never-never land". Life in the real world is challenging: birth, constant change, sickness, aging, death - existential reality is not easy stuff, nobody escapes it. 
     The more fully we integrate mindfulness into our daily life, the less goal-oriented / self-centered / escapist we become, and the more profoundly our perception changes towards all experience. It's very useful to remember the fearful child / wise grandparent metaphor - see: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=grandparent

Steve McCurry   stevemccurry.com

#507 Business as Usual?

     Each of us is deeply conditioned by our genetics, past & present life circumstances to perceive, think & behave in the unique, individual way that we each do. Though it may not look like it from others' perspectives, we're all literally doing our best, given all the varied complex inputs into our life.
     If we were to see a drowning person flailing away, we'd immediately - objectively - see how ineffective this was compared to a skilled swimmer's efficient, relatively effortless strokes & kicks. The drowning man's strokes don't measure up, yet he's surely doing his utmost best under the circumstances. He hasn't chosen to look ineffective, nor to be drowning. Were we to yell out instructions on how to improve his strokes, he'd ignore them, and get mad at us for not helping to pull him out.
     Most of us do a lot of flailing in our life! How many of us consistently engage daily life with graceful ease? How many of us consistently employ mature judgment, good humor, bringing about decreasing suffering & increasing joy for ourselves and all those around us for the long haul?
     Ineffectual, draining reactivity to life's challenges is the result of our unexamined conditioning. It's not our fault. But, how long we put up with this primitive "operating system" AND when we commit to upgrading to our more evolved "operating system" is ENTIRELY OUR CHOICE.
     Recognizing reactivity, accepting it, letting it go, and learning to stabilize in our more mature operating system needs to be experienced to be appreciated. Welcome to mindfulness practice.

Steve McCurry   stevemccurry.com

#506 How Accurate is "Self-talk" - the Stuff We Keep Telling Ourselves?

     Many of us, by default, take our self-talk, opinions & perceptions as objective truth - a direct readout on reality. Furthermore, we assume these are stable, unchanging. Interestingly & paradoxically, we also recognize that "who we are" has a major impact on all of these. In other words, we know very well that different people have differing takes on the same experience. We also know very well that we see things very differently now than when we were 2 or 12 or even 22 years old. So the more closely we investigate phenomena, the less puzzling the statement:

     “We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.”                 Anais Nin

     In other words, we project our constantly changing inner state of being onto the outer world. When we're down, the world looks like a miserable place, when we're up, the world miraculously transforms into a joyous place.
     So the tone or quality of our self-talk might be more accurately interpreted, not as caused by what's out there right now, but rather as our current mood, which is brought about by many factors (internal, external, past, present and or future).
     Can we simply observe our mood as a transient energy and nothing more? Can we hold it lightly instead of merging with it (cognitive fusion)? What happens to transient states?

Steve McCurry   stevemccurry.com

#505 One Continuum, Two States of Being

     Life can be a blur of busyness, commitments, deadlines, hassles & stress. It's easy to feel like a leaf swept away by a fast-moving river, unable to get out, not knowing where we're heading. It's easy to feel trapped, out of control, stressed, anxious & depressed.
     This is our basic, default level of consciousness - almost universal these days. Highly complex forces (social, political, economic, religious, military, etc) impact our lives, and we react to these as fast as we can, in order to survive. Truly serious, deep, meaningful, unavoidable issues - the existential facts of life (constant change, aging, sickness & death) - we ignore / postpone / suppress / repress as long as possible. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/03/88-avoidance-approach-dichotomy.html
     As life goes on, all of us periodically experience major traumas ("shipwrecks"), where our life as we knew it "falls apart."  
          Some of us implode, hardening in bitterness & cynicism, and may remain for life in this basic level of consciousness. 
          Others, after the same or worse trauma, open up, actively evolving, becoming stronger & wiser ("post-traumatic growth").
     See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/07/361-beyond-stress-management-resilience.html 
     And: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=post-traumatic+growth

     Those who actively evolve their consciousness realize that ordinary life pursuits, with or without psychotherapy, only take one up to, but not beyond "ordinary unhappiness." This realization can arise gradually and/or abruptly in the wake of major trauma (eg serious illness, job loss, death of loved ones, divorce, etc). Some people prioritize & actively pursue wisdom and do their best to fully integrate wisdom into their every thought, word & action. For them it is clear that this course of action makes life absolutely worth living.

Vivek Prakash   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

#504 Curiosity & Processing

     In Mindfulness training we're advised to be "curious" about phenomena that arise. Yet we're also advised to "let go of words" and "let go of stories"! So what does "curiosity" mean in this context?
     This is a very basic and practically important question. We're used to having an almost continuous verbal commentary - "self-talk" - running 24/7, including of course when we begin practicing meditation! Typically, while observing something, we describe it to ourselves using words. So can we observe without words? And if so, how?
     What happens spontaneously when we're alone in the house, and we hear a faint odd sound? We suddenly stop whatever we're doing, become completely still, perhaps even hold our breath, and listen intently. At these times, we're so attentive, that even self-talk seems to go silent. We see animals do what appears to be the same thing - an ancient instinctive behavior pattern for becoming deeply attentive.
     How can we intentionally ease into this silent, still space of receptive, open listening? Remembering the classic Zen instruction to listen with our eyes & look with our ears helps us transcend linear discursive thinking (relatively slow, crude & detached) - and associated self-talk (disruptive) - and helps open all our senses, as we become profoundly still & silent.
     Sound is physically sensed. Silence is potential sound. Musicians have high regard for the silent intervals between sounds. In Mindfulness, we learn to open up to & investigate BOTH sound & silence - therefore to be continuously aware. We're training to process experience (primarily) physically (eg sound & silence, feel of the breath, etc) rather than conceptually (eg words). CONTINUOUS PHYSICAL CONTACT with present-moment experience.
     Consider sitting in the middle of a large open pasture with the intention of noticing deer. We would, like our ancestors for countless generations before, sit very still, silent, for hours, with relaxed sustained stable awareness. We have the inherent capacity to do precisely this, without concern for time. Mindfulness training cultivates an innate natural capacity.

Heiko Meyer   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

#503 Self-talk & Identity

     During Mindfulness training we learn to notice, accept & then let go of self-talk, seamlessly bringing attention back to the object(s) of awareness. Is self-talk merely an innocent distraction? Sometimes ...
     Sometimes self-talk is encouraging - "Common, you can do it!" This may be useful - for a while.
     Too often, self-talk is self-defeating - "Oh no, not standing meditation! The last time we did that it was soooo uncomfortable! I don't want to do it now! I don't ever want to do it again! I so much prefer sitting meditation" etc etc etc. Such self-talk very effectively trains us to self-sabotage. The more we listen to & engage with this, the more these statements become - in our minds - hard facts, until the contents become "who we are" (cognitive fusion). Unhelpful self-talk clearly needs to be noticed early, accepted, & let go - gently - but definitely let go.
     Isn't it odd that we have to repeatedly remind ourselves that our core identity is NOT a pathetic collection of rigid preferences, dislikes & can't do's? We are SO MUCH MORE than that. But until we thoroughly let go of the former sticky fiction, we hold ourselves back from living the latter reality.

     See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/04/311-fearful-child-wise-grandparent-were.html
     and: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/08/381-each-moment-new-beginning.html

Bronwyn Proven   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

#502 Self-improvement?

     Don't we all want to become better in some way? We may have recurrent daydreams of performing various actions better, looking better, becoming more likeable, more valued & appreciated, and thus feeling much better about ourselves. Essentially, we'd like to start from scratch & create a whole new "ideal" person.
     Letting go of self-judgment, and adopting self-acceptance & gentle kindness toward ourselves - as we are - is infinitely more beneficial AND practical than making ourselves feel sickeningly inadequate by constantly comparing ourselves to (our & society's) ideal, unreachable standards. This does NOT mean we succumb to the other extreme - failing to actively care for ourselves, others & the environment. There is a sane, practical middle way between obsessive perfectionism & giving up.
     Most importantly, we might be surprised to find that the quality of life we seek has little to do with our ideas of self-improvement, and almost everything to do with the state of being or level of consciousness which naturally manifests gentle, kind awareness.

Watatsumi Temple, Japan - by Xu Xiaolin - http://travel.nationalgeographic.com

#501 Quality of Life & Your Way of Being

     We consider it normal, natural, the way things work, when external (eg the weather, the economy etc) and internal conditions (eg the effect of a heavy meal or a fight with a loved one etc) determine our mood, and to a large extent our behavior. After all, we know ourselves, and "that's who we are" - alluding to our stereotypical responses (conditioned reactions) to these conditions.  How many times have we heard ourselves & others predict "It's Monday - I'm going to have a lousy day", or "Oh that movie stars actor X, I'm going to hate it"? This is how most of us live our lives much of the time - on autopilot, reacting predictably to circumstances, with little conscious supervision or corrections. What quality of life does this lead to? Can't we do better?
     Some people realize that this situation is a dead end, but firmly believe that they're powerless to improve it. If our quality of life was directly controlled by our environment, the cynical motto: "Life is tough, and then you die" would be justified.
     Those who practice Mindfulness meditation quickly learn that the Mindfulness exercises are designed to progressively free us from the effects of years of conditioning, so we may enjoy freedom of choice. We don't have to be on autopilot; we don't have to react mechanically to external or internal circumstances. No circumstance, not even a Monday or an actor, controls our emotions, prefrontal cortex (judgment), or our motor cortex (movement).
     Can we concern ourselves first & foremost with monitoring the quality of our own awareness, our level of consciousness, our mood, the tone of our body? 
     • How is life when we feel mentally bright, at ease, peaceful, kind, our body relaxed & radiating warmth? 
     • How is life when we feel mentally dull, on guard, anxious / angry, fearful, our body tight, armored, closed & cold? 

     EXPERIENCE how your way of being affects your quality of life - your every perception.

     See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/02/280-koans-to-guide-formal-informal.html