#613 Nothing Personal

     We tend to "take it personally" when people treat us in uncaring, nasty, or cruel ways. I've felt this many, many times in my life. Yet, the fact is that I play an insignificantly tiny part in most of these people's lives. How they behave, has little to do with me, and almost everything to do with the rest of their lives, past and present. So taking their behavior personally is actually a bit egocentric. The world does not revolve around me. Things happen for innumerable, complex, interrelated reasons, of which I'm a very tiny part. 

     So what should I concentrate on if not my feelings, my comfort, my wishes, my needs, my security, my convenience, my ...?

     "Be kind, for everyone is carrying a heavy load."

#612 Feeling Lousy? Now What?

     Feeling down, blue, out of sorts, alone, useless, etc happens so often for many of us that, at some level, we identify with it - it feels like home, "that's me - that's how I am, who I am". Other emotions, like love, joy & happiness seem to slip right through, so we correctly recognize their transient, ephemeral nature.
     Is it possible that identifying with downer emotions is what makes them so sticky? What if we didn't focus on these so intently when they appeared - would these evaporate as seamlessly as joy? Can we imagine the effect of having no preference for joy over sadness?

#611 Healing is in My Hands

     All of us have been traumatized many times, in many ways. These hurts and traumas conditioned us to try to avoid re-injury from similar situations. Conditioning is not only reactive but also proactive. When we're wise, we nurture ourselves and each other to flourish, like loving grandparents. When we lack wisdom, we re-traumatize ourselves and each other, like cruel children. We choose to do one or the other, countless times, every day.
     Nurturing and traumatizing feel very different. Their impact, on ourselves and everyone else, is as different as heaven or hell. 
     May I be progressively more mindful to nurture more & more, and traumatize less & less.

#610 Carry On in Love

     This time of the year can be particularly challenging emotionally.
     Embodying our wise heart-mind, being kind to ourselves and all those we touch, is the best we can do.
     When at times we can't, may we have the wisdom and humility to reach out for help.
     Leaving fear behind, we carry on, together, in love.

#609 Short-term Gain, Long-term Pain

     We routinely criticize politicians for making promises they can't possibly deliver; as well as for planning only as far ahead as the next election. Why would they use such dishonest, short-sighted, mindless approaches that guarantee problems later on? Because it works - this is how most of us think, so we elect them!
      Honestly examining the roots of our problems, and personally doing our part to correct these are signs of profound maturity & wisdom. Only a tiny proportion of us is interested. For most, regardless of the image we try to project to others or even to ourselves, deep introspection & moral responsibility are very uncomfortable matters we do our best to avoid. Deep down, we don't think we have what it takes.
     So most of us avoid the deep realities of life by clinging to distractions - for our entire lives, if we can. Happy, happy, busy, busy. But reality is extremely difficult to handle with an immature consciousness. In fact, wisdom traditions suggest that our only problem is an immature consciousness!

          “No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it.”                                      Albert Einstein 

     Mindfulness practices are gentle, progressive trainings to help us clearly see & accept our "ordinary mind", and thus be able to transcend it - evolve to a higher level of consciousness. THEN we can engage reality with awareness, using all our multiple intelligences. 
     We CAN effectively deal with life's core challenges, rather than try to hide from them in distraction.

#608 Fearing the Shallows & Depths

     This morning, in a local jewellery store, I saw a collection of clay wall hangings, each with a woman's face on top, and a slogan, meant to be funny, below. On one of these was written:
          "Deep down, I'm really shallow!"

     This is dark humor - trying to deal with something that's actually terrifying. I think a large proportion of us, women and probably more so men, go to great lengths to remain constantly distracted so as to avoid seeing clearly who / what they are deep down. They fear that their own character / psyche / soul is at best shallow, at worst wicked. This is a hangover from the dark ages of clerics terrifying people with burning in hell forever unless they pay clerics to pray for them. How could, or indeed why would we live meaningful, dignified lives if we believe that we're "rotten to the core"?
     All the world's wisdom traditions have intelligent, educated, well-meaning, civilized representatives. Also, all have shrill representatives who've miraculously evaded a thousand years of human evolution, and misery loves company.
     Meditation practices are avoided at all costs by those who fear getting to know themselves (as well as those who gain by propagating this fear). In meditation we do directly experience the "shadow" aspect of ourselves - the less flattering aspects of our personality that everyone else clearly sees, but which otherwise remains hidden from us. But seeing & understanding our shadow has nothing to do with encountering "the devil". Becoming aware of this part of our subconscious helps us mature and behave as responsible, civilized adults.
     Fortunately, meditation also lets each of us directly experience the very best of human nature. Each of us, fundamentally, is kind, spacious awareness. This wise, mature, civilized aspect is amply able to hold the relatively small, transient shadow aspect.
     Mindfulness practices, which are all forms of meditation, are ancient, time-proven practices, specifically designed to foster human evolution of consciousness. In other words, we CAN intentionally promote our own psychosocialspiritual maturation - but ONLY IF we can overcome fear-based avoidance.

Bess learning from Gretel

#607 Riding Liminality & Loving Life

     How do I relate to my breath? When we start mindfulness practice, focusing on the feel of our own breath can evoke anxiety, rather than the hoped for sense of peace. Gradually, we learn to "surf" or "ride the breath" - a kind of balancing act on top of a constantly moving, flowing, ball of breathing energy.
     Likewise, how do I relate to all other manifestations of constant change - directly to liminality itself? Every fraction of second we're in the now - straddling the past and future. We're not quite sure what just happened, and we sure don't know what's about to happen! Can we learn to surf liminality? Can we learn to ride uncertainty's raw energy? It's the only way to transcend constant anxiety!
     Such a direct, intentional, curious, nonjudgmental, playful engagement with / surfing on / flowing with the energy of liminality itself seems to be the ultimate basis for dismantling anxiety. 
     Anxiety is ineffective striving to avoid challenges - fearful avoidance.
     Mindfulness is brave, competent "leaning into" life-as-it is, difficulties & all - lovingly embracing life. I'm not aware of a better alternative.

Bess - Dec 19, 2014