#395 Why Do We Resist Mindfulness?

     I read about meditation practices for 30 years before I ever started to actually meditate. Even then, I remained strongly inclined towards action, or at least trying to figure things out by thinking. The fact is, most of us have a lifetime of practice doing & thinking, and virtually no experience - hence no confidence in - dropping everything to sit still. So, "if it ain't broke", we stick with the momentum of our lives - keeping busy, physically & mentally.
     But the older we get, the more clearly we see the many ways in which "it IS broke", and the more often we realize that "keeping busy" is often an ineffective habitual nervous twitch. We gradually realize that even old dogs have to learn new tricks. Meditation is very effective for most things for which "keeping busy" is useless - that's why so many people around the world, and increasingly in Europe, Australia and North America meditate regularly.
     Obviously, most of us will be clumsy at it initially. But like any other skill, with training we progressively gain competence. Deciding "I'm no good at this", then quitting is a very common, very unfortunate pattern. What overweight person, on starting an aerobic exercise program, ever declared "Yes, I'm damned good at this!"? - None! Persistence and steady practice is how we gain competence at anything worthwhile. 
     Attention NORMALLY drifts all over the place. Gently, repeatedly, with endless patience, we keep bringing attention back to our focus of attention - THAT's a huge part of the practice. What we primarily develop is NOT a blank slate mind, but rather gentleness, acceptance, humility & great patience - this is transformational. ... But we all start impatient and a bit arrogant!

Harriet Irving Botanical Gardens, Wolfville, Nova Scotia

#394 Biofeedback - Monitoring our Consciousness

     We know how it feels when we're bright and alert - there's a distinct fresh, vibrant physical / mental / emotional feel associated with it. We can therefore recognize when our consciousness is optimal AND ALSO when it's suboptimal eg when we're drowsy, or falling asleep. It's useful to detect a downward fluctuation in consciousness as early as possible eg while driving, performing surgery, landing an airplane, writing an exam, speaking with someone, studying, etc. It's also beneficial to recognize when our level of consciousness is excessive ie after too much caffeine, anxious, stressed, striving, hypervigilant, catastrophizing etc. So we can monitor the level of our consciousness, and with practice, adjust it when need be (like a rheostat) to the optimal level.
     We also know how it feels when we're calm, attentive, wise, kind, behaving in a civilized manner. We feel relaxed, open-minded and open-hearted. We know the feel of the quality of our consciousness. Our prefrontal cortex is fully functioning, and our judgments and behaviour are congruent with our core values, long-term goals, and in concert with the best interests of humanity & nature. This feels good and profoundly right.
     And we can all, more frequently & easily than we realize, lapse into fear-based reactivity, into autopilot (brain stem takes over from the prefrontal cortex). We know we're on autopilot, because "the lights are on, but nobody's home." We feel "driven" - as if we're running after or away from something, there may be lots of adrenalin or a trance-like dullness - we feel closed-minded and closed-hearted. It's all about short-term gain for "me, myself & I" - no consideration for others or even our own long-term interests. This quality of consciousness feels all wrong. We've experienced this many times before & know that it causes only suffering. We can let this go, open our minds & hearts, re-engage our prefrontal cortex, and get back on track.
     So we can & should monitor both the level and the quality of our consciousness. We alone can, and must, manage our own consciousness for the benefit of all.

In Kentville, Nova Scotia

 

#393 Awareness, Acceptance & Dwelling in Two Apparently Distinct Realities

     As a natural consequence of ongoing mindfulness practice, we gradually become increasingly clearly aware of what's going on - both within and outside of ourselves. This is often described as "waking up" as if from a dream, or becoming conscious after being on "autopilot".
     Another natural consequence of our ongoing practice, we gradually stop believing the brain stem's judgment of all that we perceive as either "good" or "bad" (black-or-white thinking), and are thus more & more able to replace primitive egocentric (brain stem) reactivity with wiser allocentric perspective & behavior (prefrontal cortex).
     Interestingly and importantly, our brain stem remains in place & functional, so we remain aware of our own ongoing immediate egocentric judgments. However, meditation practice progressively rewires our brain, changing it structurally & functionally. So the brain stem's messages are perceived less & less as commands for immediate action, and are increasingly perceived as dubious options with a long track record of leading to suffering. And because of our direct experiential knowledge, we fully understand - and have compassion for - both ourselves & others when we more or less automatically obey brain stem reflexes.
     As our prefrontal cortex becomes increasingly dominant, we increasingly recognize not only our own, but other people's inherent clarity, wholeness & wisdom. We recognize & nurture this amazing natural human capacity in ourselves and others. This is the ultimate height & depth of human activity.

#392 BOTH Anxious, Confused, Reactive - AND - Calm, Clear-minded, Wise

     We gradually let go of rigid black-or-white dualistic thinking as we become aware of infinite shades between extremes. As we broaden our intellectual & emotional horizons (gain psychological flexibility), we increasingly appreciate our own & others' weaknesses AND strengths.
     Seeing another's weakness opens our hearts to fellow human beings who, like all of us, are carrying heavy burdens.
     Seeing another's strength inspires us, knowing that we ourselves also have at least some of that very same capacity.

     Wisdom involves clearly seeing & compassionately accepting imperfection, while at the same time, resting in awareness & nurturing inherent wholeness. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/09/393-awareness-acceptance-dwelling-in.html

     "Therapeutic presence is the atmosphere for attending to the person's pain and vulnerability, while engaging their inner resiliency and wholeness."
       Palmer PJ, Zajonc A. The heart of higher education: A call to renewal. Transforming the academy through collegial conversation. Jossey-Bass, San Francisco, 2010.

  Muck AND Beauty

#391 Comfort-seeking Moves and our Full Human Potential

     Sitting meditation is an ideal laboratory for studying ourselves. Under these controlled conditions of (external) stillness and relative (external) peace & quiet, we clearly observe a stunning array of inner activity.
     We see how we're continuously exerting energy to seek comfort. This constant automatic striving shows the pervasive dominance of the brain stem reflex. 
     The most obvious sign of this during meditation is the inability of most people to sit completely still for even short periods of time. They feel that it's impossible. As soon as they become uncomfortable, they "have to" move to a more comfortable position. When their nose gets a tickle, they "have to" immediately scratch it to become more comfortable. They assume that there's no choice in these matters - if one feels discomfort, one immediately has to react - brain stem reflex.
     A less obvious, but equally pervasive sign of this constant automatic striving towards comfort is the compulsive habit of "living in the past" or future. A large part of the time when we're (supposedly) awake, we're actually in the past - dreaming of the good old days, or wallowing in some miserable past experience; or in the future - fantasizing, or catastrophizing. Wallowing and catastrophizing are less obviously comforting than daydreaming about positive experiences, but these nevertheless do seem to provide something that's hard to let go of. 
     Perhaps the present moment is never perfectly comfortable - physically or emotionally (hedonic concept of happiness), and therefore our brain stem judges it unacceptable to inhabit continuously. So escaping the present moment is reactive, automatic (brain stem reflex) rather than a conscious decision.
     There are huge reasons for choosing to be fully conscious: to explore, embody & enjoy our full potential as evolved human beings (eudaimonic concept of happiness); and to avoid repeating & try to repair the horrors (wars, genocides, ecological devastation, Ponzi schemes, etc, etc) we've been inflicting on each other, animals and the rest of the universe in our long history of behaving far below our potential. See: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2013/09/hedonism-eudaimonia-important-concepts.html
     Sitting still in meditation, observing our urge to move, scratch, or otherwise react to a wide variety of mild discomforts, we practice accepting these without acting on these primitive urges. As surely as steadily practicing a musical instrument invariably produces a competent musician, meditation practice gradually and progressively rewires our brains so that we become less & less reactive, and increasingly conscious wise human beings.
     

Balzac's Cafe, Toronto, Distillery District, 2013

#390 Shiny Things Lose their Sparkle - Don't Let it Bring You Down!

     As toddlers, we learn that our toys either break or get lost, but most often we learn that every single one of them, sooner or later, loses its ability to entertain us. For a while, we get very upset at breaking or loosing a toy, but gradually we automatically move on to newer, shinier, bigger, more expensive, more impressive distractions - even when the toys we already own are still quite new & serviceable.
     Our consumer society has trained us well to constantly thirst & hunger - always dissatisfied - constantly "in the market" for new distractions. Despite this lifelong pattern, it still comes as a huge shock - "an aha moment" - to some that after finally being able to buy the car of their dreams for example, they remain just as unsatisfied as before. 
     Of course we also pin our hopes for happiness on non-material shiny things: friends, lovers, jobs, status, fitness, physical health etc. NONE of these can consistently satisfy our thirst & hunger either.
     For many, this realization is such a crushing disappointment, that it leads to a lifetime of cynicism & depression, based on the fearful, quasi-religious conviction: life sucks, can't get better, only worse. 

                    "Don't let it bring you down
                    It's only castles burning, ....."           Neil Young

     Is it possible that we can & must outgrow reliance on externals to fulfill us? As adults, doesn't it make sense to "put away childish things"?

     "... it's never too late to take the less well-lit, but rich, essential path to mature adulthood. It comes through a mindful examination of one's personal and interpersonal life. 
        Hollis J. “Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life.” Gotham Books, NY, 2005.

 

Stephen Alvarez - National Geographic

#389 Trance & Unfiltered Reality

     "People are not simply in or out of trance, but are constantly moving from one trance to another. We have our work trances, our relationship trances, and our parenting trances. Some of these states are useful and appropriate; others are not." Bandler R. Richard Bandler's Guide to Trance-formation: How to Harness the Power of Hypnosis to Ignite Effortless and Lasting Change. HCI, 2008.

     The first two sentences are supported by research:
     "studies on attentiveness show that people are only briefly and unpredictably attentive. Attention habitually diverts to unrelated thoughts and feelings, leaving any task at hand to be managed 'on autopilot.' These studies suggest that mindlessness ('mind wandering,' 'zoning out,' 'task-unrelated thought') is 'one of the most ubiquitous and pervasive of all cognitive phenomena' and that it often occurs unintentionally, without awareness, occupies a substantial proportion of our day, and leads to failures in task performance."        Lovas JG, Lovas DA, Lovas PM. Mindfulness and Professionalism in Dentistry. J Dent Educ 2008; 72(9): 998-1009.

     However, involuntary trance is no more "useful and appropriate" than being addicted to drugs or to any other constant filter between people and reality. I say 'involuntary', because clinical hypnosis is a powerful and very useful therapeutic intervention - as is the short-term use of narcotics for acute pain. But who (besides an addict) would normalize, or especially advocate, daily use of narcotics as a way of life?

     See also: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/03/65-embracing-full-catastrophe.html
     and: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2013/04/fear-avoidance-ineffective-existential.html

Award-winning photo by Stuart Gibson