Thursday 27 February 2014

#500 Changes, Ambivalence & Progress

     Most of us start Mindfulness training with the (realistic) hope & expectation that we'll become better able to handle life's stresses. Clearly, we ourselves expect to change, becoming more resilient, thus being able to enjoy an improved quality of life.
     Though we're intent on changing ourselves - at the same time - we're deeply ambivalent. This ambivalence is perfectly natural & healthy. We tend to identify with a certain sense of self, self-concept or ego, which we (mistakenly) assume to be permanently fixed & stable. Change to one's self-image feels threatening, and may evoke fear & anxiety. Knowing this, and realizing that our self-concept is actually constantly evolving over time, and remembering that we are, through Mindfulness practice, intentionally promoting & guiding the natural evolution of our consciousness, we can become consciously aware of, & accept our natural ambivalence, and proceed gently, at our own healthy, physiologic pace.



Wednesday 26 February 2014

#499 What is there to Accept?

     "Growing up" is an interesting process. A wise parent introduces new experiences to her child very gradually, so that these changes stimulate healthy growth & maturation. We know that exposure to too much, too early, results not in healthy maturation but counterproductive stress.
     However, our maturation process extends far past the time we leave home - it truly is "lifelong learning". So we ourselves must, consciously & unconsciously, become our own gatekeepers - ideally titrating new material at a pace we find growth-stimulating. Unfortunately, some of us can't say no, taking on way more than we can handle well; while others get stuck in the opposite rut - living very small, boring, unchallenging lives. What we assume we can't handle well, we consciously & unconsciously avoid, delay, suppress, oppose etc.
     Through mindfulness training, one of the many things we become increasingly consciously aware of, and learn to accept, is our current gatekeeper role, how it affects our life, and the fact that the actual quality of our life is literally in our hands.
     Then, upon becoming aware of models & roadmaps of normal psychosocial development (evolution of consciousness, or maturation), we realize that human potential is literally beyond anything we can currently imagine. We become & remain aware of, & accept the fact, that we're up in the air, sitting alone at the controls, flying our own personal helicopter called "this life" to destinations we've never experienced before. This is both amazing & daunting. We're called to be our own personal highly-skilled gatekeepers, sports psychologists, & life coaches.

     See: http://www.johnlovas.com/2012/01/post-traumatic-growth.html
     And: http://www.johnlovas.com/2014/02/meditation-is-powerful.html

Healer by Steve McCurry   stevemccurry.com

Tuesday 25 February 2014

#498 Acceptance - a Central Attitude in Mindfulness Practice

     Acceptance is right up there with awareness in terms of basic importance to Mindfulness practice. 
     Acceptance of things as they are creates the time, stillness & composure necessary to perceive more accurately, and respond more appropriately.
     Mulling such things over in one's mind-body over the years extracts progressively more nuanced meaning, texture, richness ...

     See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=acceptance
     and: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/search?q=acceptance

Healer by Steve McCurry   stevemccurry.com

Sunday 23 February 2014

#497 Ethics & True Well-being

     "Ethical value ... is built into the very fabric of consciousness. ... true well-being can only come from expressions of generosity, kindness, & wisdom, while greed, hatred, & delusion will always result in harm."           Andrew Olendzki PhD

     The above statement is not to be confused with a "should", be it societal or religious. People over the ages have come to understand this as a natural law - simply the way things work - much like gravity. Nevertheless, each person seems to need to discover or relearn this for themselves. "Shoulds" tend to automatically generate resistance in us at some level. A less confrontational way of learning wise advice (that seldom sinks in immediately), is by holding it in the back of our minds as a riddle, a koan, or open question - to be pondered over a long time, even a lifetime. Life presents innumerable opportunities to learn experientially how things work

Les Lovas watercolor - Blue Rocks, Nova Scotia

Saturday 22 February 2014

#496 Metacognition, Clarity & Choice

     Metacognition is the amazing capacity we have to be self-aware: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2014/02/metacognition-grand-evolutionary.html We're constantly aware of our thoughts, words & actions, and are constantly comparing our present state of being - what & how we're doing - to our ideals. To the extent that we progressively approach living our ideals, our life becomes proportionately more natural, simple & true.

     We're amazingly aware of, in tune with, and responsible for what's going on in our lives, and thus, the actual quality of our lives.

Michael Melford, National Geographic   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

Thursday 20 February 2014

#495 Is the Devil in the Details?

     A few years ago, during a break in a continuing medical education course, I overheard a group of young female physicians chatting about their children. One comment stuck: "I just hope they don't grow up to be assholes!"
     Isn't that our hope for ourselves as well? And yet, much of our lives are spent reacting to minor details - "sweating the small stuff", making a big deal out of them, then recuperating by zoning out with mindless distractions, booze, sleep etc. Our life too easily gets pilfered away, lost in details.

     Of course there's nothing wrong with the details themselves, the waste is in the sour attitude of "putting out fires": http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2014/02/493-how-we-fail-to-prioritize.html Such an attitude assumes that we're constantly battling annoyences. NO - we're actually LIVING, & CHOOSING the QUALITY of our LIFE. Our problem is settling for the wrong attitude. A wise person once said: "Every day is a good day." Statements like this really irritate some people - where's the locus of control? See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2014/02/494-we-know-were-heading-wrong-way-when.html and: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=attitude


William McIntosh   http://www.flickr.com/photos/mtsacprof/

Wednesday 19 February 2014

#494 We Know We're Heading the Wrong Way When ...

     How many times have we been upset, and someone gives us what on one hand sounds like reasonable advice, yet it feels really irritating? How many times have we seen a little kid upset, and the parent tries to reason with the kid, which, instead of soothing, makes the kid hopping mad? We absolutely HATE it when the (blind) momentum of our emotions is not supported - when our ego is not stroked. Emotions are like grease fires, and reason is like water - the two don't mix well. One has to take responsibility for one's own grease fire. Getting mad at the person bringing the water is called externalizing. Getting mad just adds grease to the fire & adds to subsequent embarrassment.

     It's very useful & practical to remember that when we're upset, we tend to be unreasonable, and prone to do things we'll regret later. So if a friend's advice feels really irritating, it's probably GOOD, reasonable advice!
     If the advice sounds like music to your ears ie ego-boosting, your adviser is likely also emotionally-involved, & equally unreasonable! Hitler, Lenin, Bernie Madoff, and other such characters likely had all sorts of advisers - which ones did they listen to - those who upset them with reason OR who boosted their egos by telling them they're on the right track, go for it? "And how did that work for them"?

     Wise advice about "Coping with a Career Crisis" from Robert J. Sternberg PhD: http://chronicle.com/article/Coping-With-a-Career-Crisis/144191/

didge_mack   www.dpreview.com

Tuesday 18 February 2014

#493 How We Prioritize - Why We Fail to "Pick our Battles"

     How do we know when we have to drop everything, & immediately redirect all our resources to a new specific issue? A classic example: we suddenly feel searing pain (anywhere in the body-mind) - all our alarm bells go off at once - a massive call for action & we're instantly in full fight-freeze-flight mode. We're running on emotions, everything else - including ability to make mature judgments - shuts down. This is the default mode for most people in life-or-death emergencies - instinctively prioritized reaction to the threat to our survival.
     Unfortunately, few of us appropriately distinguish acute life-or-death emergencies from minor threats: to our ego, comfort & convenience. Because of this common conflation, stress, anxiety & depression are epidemic & becoming increasingly incapacitating.
     So the problem is that our firefighters routinely break down the doors & windows, whisking us off to the ER, even though most of the time, there's no fire - just kitty stuck in the tree. This biological version of "the boy who cried wolf" is very hard on everyone concerned - internal friction: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/10/423-what-is-this.html and http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=fight

Dianne Silverman   The Boy Who Cried Wolf   www.mnartists.org

Saturday 15 February 2014

#492 Mindfulness Practice & "the Real World"

     When one starts practicing Mindfulness meditation, it's a bit like taking a mini-vacation to a far-off land, where everything is different. When the few minutes of practice end, vacation's over, & it's back to "the real world".
     Meditation practice may thus initially seem like a brief escape to a pleasant, idealistic never-never land. Too many of us, out of fear, firmly believe (& behave accordingly) that survival in the "real world" demands a very different proactively aggressive approach. A popular poster in the 1970s showed a cave-man-like brute carrying a huge club, with the caption: "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no evil, because I'm the meanest son-of-a-bitch in the valley."
     The practical necessity of primitive brutishness, and therefore, impracticality of an evolved approach like mindfulness is a surprisingly common, deeply-held misconception. Furthermore, stress, like ethanol, can instantly shut down evolved judgment (prefrontal cortex), and suddenly we react (brain stem) as primitively as our cave-dwelling ancestors or cornered wild animals.

     People are drawn to meditation practice when they recognize that their usual approach is failing to bring them deep, lasting meaning & satisfaction. People continue with meditation practice when they experience how effective it is.
     Mindfulness is a universal human capacity that fosters clear thinking & openheartedness. The goal of mindfulness is to maintain awareness moment by moment, gradually & progressively developing a greater sense of emotional balance & well-being.           Ludwig DS, Kabat-Zinn J. "Mindfulness in Medicine." JAMA 2008; 300(11): 1350-2.

     If meditation is practical & powerful for the people in the documentary below, it can work in your world.

 

Thursday 13 February 2014

#491 Holding Things Lightly in Awareness - Observing Change

     Meditation is often said to be "simple but not easy." When we first start to meditate, we're advised to sit still, yet we notice that we often suddenly move to scratch ourselves or make our legs more comfortable. Initially we tend to (mildly) rebel against this instruction & rationalize our not following it by arguing that one simply has to move, because ... Then quickly we may suddenly conclude "I'm no good at meditating."
     So even this tiny, initial fragment of sitting meditation practice provides a fascinating mirror by which to observe ourselves. Yet this mini-challenge, along with everything else, will change.
     The trick is not to struggle against it (against yourself), but hold it all lightly, in awareness.

Elena Shumilova  http://www.flickr.com/photos/75571860@N06/11874722676/

Wednesday 12 February 2014

#490 A Safe Learning Environment

     We now appreciate the need to feel safe to be able to learn as well as to behave like civilized mature members of society.
     Stress impedes both learning, and the ability to make mature judgments. However, learning is inherently stressful in so far as the student (& we're ALL students) is never quite sure about what's going on - uncertainty, ambiguity, liminality is uncomfortable yet omnipresent - learning always comes with "growing pains"! 
     But as a society, we have a largely unexamined, yet very powerful aversion to discomfort. This learning / discomfort combo often results in emotional reactions. Teachers / instructors / professors & students blame each other for the discomfort.
     Of course teachers / instructors / professors also experience stress & its negative effects. They often care deeply for the material they teach, and may resent a perceived lower level of interest on the part of students. Teachers' memory of themselves as students tends to become idealized over the years. Teachers are also aware that course evaluations are important to their career and that students whom they discipline or give low marks to, will likely retaliate with harsh course evaluations. So teachers may also, at times - also out of fear / stress - react inappropriately to students. Such behaviour, though caused by fear, tends to be interpreted as "bullying" because of the power differential. Most bullying is probably at least partially fear-based.
     Students & teachers - everyone - can & needs to cultivate alliances rather than adversarial relationships. Individuals must clearly recognize when they're stressed. Self-awareness is critical, since one cannot care properly for another human being, as called for by an alliance, while one is afraid, angry & stressed out. A warm caring attitude cannot be faked nor mandated. It can only happen when fear & anger are gone. It's a shared responsibility, among individuals & groups, to cultivate caring, civilized environments fit for quality human life.
     Stress impairs judgment. Recognize & let go of fear & anger BEFORE you say (email, text) or do anything. This requires mindfulness practice, making mistakes, accepting rather than denying the mistakes, more mindfulness practice, making fewer & smaller mistakes, accepting rather than denying the mistakes, more mindfulness practice, making fewer & smaller mistakes, ... on & on for life!
     By becoming increasingly mindful, we cultivate a safe learning environment for ourselves & others. 
     See: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2012/11/blindspots-ethics-evolution-of.html
     and: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/04/316-fear-reactivity-mindfulness-mature.html



Safe Learning Environment?

Sunday 9 February 2014

#489 Attending to Just This, Right Here, Right Now

     We currently live in an age of distraction, yet we come from a long line of humans who successfully survived by being acutely attuned to environmental cues of danger, as well as opportunity to flourish.
     Many of us realize that today, there's just too much information coming at us 24/7 from all directions, so we need to improve our currently diminished abilities to prioritize, focus attention & stabilize awareness. Mindfulness meditation is a healthy, intelligent way of achieving this.
     We simply sit still, attend directly to the physical feel of the breath in our belly, letting go of words eg stories, plans, worries, etc. This is how we start sitting practice, whether a novice or if we've been practicing for many years.

     See also: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/01/6-awareness.html
     and: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/10/200-narrative-vs-experiential-attention.html


Elena Shumilova  http://www.flickr.com/photos/75571860@N06/11874722676/

Friday 7 February 2014

#488 Defining Mindfulness

     A concise definition of mindfulness is inherently reductionistic, squeezing into a few shabby words the limitless natural capacity for awareness & open-heartedness. Who would spend a lifetime practicing mindfulness meditation if one could "get it" from a definition?
     So mindfulness is a natural capacity, a method or practice for cultivating this capacity, as well as a way of being in the world.
     Analogies can be drawn between a person practicing mindfulness & a computer that could intentionally, continuously, upgrade it's own operating system: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=operating+system
     Another analogy is how a novice swimmer relates to water compared to an expert swimmer. The novice is afraid of the water & exerts a lot of effort in fighting the water. The expert likes the water, which naturally supports her, and she exerts minimal effort to propel herself forward. The expert open-heartedly engages & collaborates with - instead of fears & fights - the environment. Friction, noise, wasted effort is minimized, while quality of life & efficiency is maximized. Even intelligent, well-educated folks may be unable to distinguish between being swept away by the torrential river of life from surfing the waves.
     But when the status quo no longer satisfies, one might investigate mindfulness.




Thursday 6 February 2014

#487 Mindfulness, Science & Reductionism

     The latest mindfulness-based intervention, "Mindfulness-Oriented Recovery Enhancement (MORE), is designed to train people to respond differently to pain, stress & opioid-related cues."

     The definitions provided in the paper (below) of mindfulness, reappraisal & savoring are so brief as to be misleading. Clearly there's MUCH more to mindfulness than awareness for the purpose of self-regulation. Reappraisal / reframing, at least as it pertains to mindfulness, is also MUCH more complex, including acceptance and seeing things clearly as part of the overall big picture. Similarly, savoring as defined below sounds simplistic - FAR less nuanced & balanced than one experiences through mindfulness meditation practice. But such is the nature of reductionism, an inherent part of science.

     "MORE targets the underlying processes involved in chronic pain & opioid misuse by combining three therapeutic components: mindfulness training, reappraisal & savoring.
     • Mindfulness involves training the mind to increase awareness, gain control over one's attention & regulate automatic habits.

     Reappraisal is the process of reframing the meaning of a stressful or adverse event in such a way as to see it as purposeful or growth promoting.
     Savoring is the process of learning to focus attention on positive events to increase one's sensitivity to naturally rewarding experiences, such as enjoying a beautiful nature scene or experiencing a sense of connection with a loved one."

       Garland EL, Manusov EG, Froeliger B, Kelly A, Williams JM, Howard MO. Mindfulness-Oriented Recovery Enhancement for Chronic Pain and Prescription Opioid Misuse: Results From an Early-Stage Randomized Controlled Trial. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 2014; DOI: 10.1037/a0035798

 
Elena Shumilova  http://www.flickr.com/photos/75571860@N06/11874722676/

Tuesday 4 February 2014

#486 The Well-travelled Path


      We gravitate to the quick easy fix no matter how complex the problem. Gobbling down a chocolate bar when hungry, gives a sugar-high, quickly followed by a crash. And so it goes for all attempts to feel good fast - short-term gain, predictably followed by chronic, long-term pain. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=maze

     Mindfulness meditation practice, on the other hand, is a solid, intelligent, well-traveled path to profound wholeness, depth & meaning. It's a slow, lifetime journey of discovery & deepening, learning to embrace all of life. Practice often feels ordinary, yet brings occasional awe-inspiring highs, and carries us safely through occasional hard times. We discover & learn to trust an inner compass, guiding us through the full spectrum of human life. It's NOT a quick fix, NOR is "bliss" (though it sporadically happens), the goal. 


Monday 3 February 2014

#485 Intentionally Opening Awareness

     Optimal functioning of a human, animal or plant requires that each cell of the multi-cellular organism have open lines of communication with all the billions of other cells of the body, and with the outside world. Awareness of inside and outside - absolutely basic & essential to health.
      Yet much of the time we're obsessing over someone or something that's bugging us (aversion), or something that we really really really want (craving). When thus preoccupied, we're ignoring virtually everything else inside & outside of us. This is SUBoptimal functioning and it makes us feel lousy (biofeedback to restore balance).
     When our bodies tell us that things are not right, we can open our senses up to become aware of all that's going on inside & outside of our skin boundary. Curious, relaxed, non-judgmental awareness is natural, healthy yet so underutilized. We can intentionally continuously increase this healthy, optimal state of awareness - it's called mindfulness practice.


Rudy Pohl   http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudypohl/sets/

Sunday 2 February 2014

#484 Consciously Embracing Energy

     Moment-by-moment we make an incredible number of decisions automatically - without conscious awareness of making any of them: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=avoidance
      A bit more awareness reveals that we prefer personal safety over danger, personal benefit over detriment, and maintaining status quo over growth. While the first two generally (not always) make sense, the last one is detrimental to us long-term, & flat out boring short-term. Embracing (instead of avoiding) growth-change is plugging directly into the vital energy of life.
     By becoming conscious about how our mind works (meta-awareness), we can override suboptimal automatic decisions. This wake-up call is essential for our overall quality of life - the more awake & aware, the better.


Elena Shumilova  http://www.flickr.com/photos/75571860@N06/11874722676/