#713 Acceptance of Circumstances - Outer & Inner

     “the painful aspects of life, the really hard times … That’s the stuff you work with. … It may seem like the outer circumstances are the problem, but the challenge is actually what they bring up in you – the inner experiences of anguish or sorrow or suffering that they provoke or trigger in you.
     I don’t feel self-loathing and those kinds of intense emotions anymore, but I sure remember what they feel like. I know that the single most important thing for people today is the extent to which they feel really bad about themselves. I have a passion for finding a way of talking about this that can help people make friends with themselves. That requires a deep acceptance of yourself and learning how to accept things inside you that are considered unacceptable.
     Usually we spend our whole lives trying to avoid feeling that ‘there’s something fundamentally wrong with me.’ The view I’m coming from is that we’re actually complete and whole, and there is nothing fundamentally wrong with us. In fact, we are fundamentally good, and we can connect with that goodness. We can move closer to accepting and honoring all parts of ourselves, while knowing that almost everybody shares those bad feelings about themselves. This is just what it’s like to be human.”                          Pema Chodron

        “Connect with the Best of Yourself – An Evening with Pema Chodron and k.d. lang.” Shambhala Sun, September 2015 

#667 Experiencing the Benefits of Meditation Practice

     "Gradually, by experiencing the benefits of concentration and insight first hand, you will gain confidence that you have the capacity to endure pain with equanimity, that you are able to let go of destructive habits, and that you are worthy of the joy of a deeply tranquil mind."

       Shaila Catherine "Wisdom Wide and Deep. A Practical Handbook for Mastering Jhana and Vipassana." Wisdom, Boston, 2011.

DavidAMWA   www.dpreview.com

#666 Practice - Perseverance - Embodiment

     "It is a natural law that actions have effects; even if your development is not as rapid as you would like, progress occurs through meditation."

       Shaila Catherine "Wisdom Wide and Deep. A Practical Handbook for Mastering Jhana and Vipassana." Wisdom, Boston, 2011.

#636 With Wise Persistence, Everything is Workable

     "The image of water is used over and over again in Taoism to describe the qualities of humility, flexibility, adaptability, persistence and acceptance. Water is described as giving life to all things yet not contending, flowing down to the humblest levels, adapting itself to whatever shape it finds itself in, and embodying patience and perseverance in its ability to cut through mountains, drop by drop.
     Over and over, Taoist writers use the image of water to emphasize the soft overcoming the hard. Water can overcome obstacles, not only by going around them but by simply biding its time and slowly eroding the obstacle, bit by tiny bit, until eventually a canyon is formed! This is a central tenet in Taoist philosophy. We can meet obstacles in our lives and find ways to creatively and constructively deal with them. The idea is not to avoid or run away from them or, on the other hand, try to ram head-on into them. But by slowly and assuming the quality of water, we can, perhaps, find a way to flow around, over or under them. Like water, we must be patient and persevering enough to realize that in time things will change, because that is the nature of things. The only constant is change."

       Solala Towler. "Chung Tzu - The Inner Chapters. The Classic Taoist Text. A New Translation of the Chuang Tzu with Commentary." Watkins Publishing, London, 2010. pxvii 

#630 Satisfying the Heart's Longing

     "Choose a question that speaks most deeply to your longing. Sitting in an upright posture, settling in to your breath and body, breathe your question in. You can ask, for example, 'Who am I?' And then breathe out, 'Who am I?' However you frame your inquiry, stay with it. If your mind wanders, gently return to your question.
     The discursive mind, our companion ever since we developed the capacity for language, enjoys being in charge of everything, and will rush in to give obvious answers: 'I'm a women, I'm Melissa, I'm sixty years old, I'm a teacher, a parent, a wife. I'm horrible, I'm wonderful.'
     Every time one of these answers arises simply set it aside and ask again. Eventually, this kind of answer stops coming, and may be replaced by a feeling of profound wonder. This feeling, sometimes called 'great doubt,' is highly valued in Zen.
     If you are not working with a teacher, at this point in your practice you must be your own Zen master. Patiently and firmly redirect yourself away from intellectual understanding and toward immediate and intimate experience. Don't settle for anything that doesn't completely satisfy your longing.
     In this state of great doubt, something surprising might reveal itself to you. As you continue to set aside all of your conventional answers, you also set aside all of your expectations and explanations. The mind will want to turn your experience into theories and memories. Don't let anything turn solid.
     Keep asking and don't give up. Eventually you will learn to live a new kind of life - one that is continually surprising, profoundly ordinary, and full of wonder."

       Melissa Myozen Blacker. "Who Am I?" Shambhala Sun, March 2015
 

#564 Curious, Open - not Gullible

     Mindfulness is not about dogmas, nor any other form of rigidity.

     "... challenge all teachings ...
     There's a lot of baloney out there. Years ago, a wonderful Hindu teacher ... said, 'The longer the beard, the bigger the fake.' And he, himself, had a beard that almost touched the floor.'"
       Larry Rosenberg. Three Steps to Awakening. A Practice for Bringing Mindfulness to Life. Shambhala, Boston, 2013. 

     Mindfulness is about trying practices found to relieve suffering and bring about peace and joy, and seeing what effect these may have on your life.
     If these improve the quality of your life, do them more. If, after a reasonable trial period, they don't, make sure you're doing them properly. If you're still getting nowhere, try something else. You may (or may not) return to mindfulness practices at a later point in life.
     An excellent approach to statements that seem novel or difficult to understand, is to let them sit, in the back of your mind, as open questions. Their meanings may gradually unfold by themselves.
     Research shows that being open and curious (psychological flexibility) has many, profound benefits over it's alternative (rigidity). 

     See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/01/18-normal-human-development.html

#560 Doing Less of What Doesn't & More of What Does Work

     Can we learn to become aware of & fed up with strategies that don't bring us long-term peace, contentment & joy? Can we persevere with practices that do? It really is that simple.
     We should not become jaded & cynical when buying junk we don't need, eating junk food, or getting drunk leave us feeling lousy. Of course there's infinitely more to life!
     See: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2014/08/getting-somewhere.html
 

Gretel with toy, August 17, 2014

 

#486 The Well-travelled Path

      We gravitate to the quick easy fix no matter how complex the problem. Gobbling down a chocolate bar when hungry, gives a sugar-high, quickly followed by a crash. And so it goes for all attempts to feel good fast - short-term gain, predictably followed by chronic, long-term pain. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=maze

     Mindfulness meditation practice, on the other hand, is a solid, intelligent, well-traveled path to profound wholeness, depth & meaning. It's a slow, lifetime journey of discovery & deepening, learning to embrace all of life. Practice often feels ordinary, yet brings occasional awe-inspiring highs, and carries us safely through occasional hard times. We discover & learn to trust an inner compass, guiding us through the full spectrum of human life. It's NOT a quick fix, NOR is "bliss" (though it sporadically happens), the goal. 

#468 Endurance, Perseverance & Transcendence

     "Most of all, we have to learn to trust our own capacities to endure pain. We can endure much more than we think we can; all human experience testifies to that. All we need to do is learn not to be afraid of pain. Grit your teeth and let it hurt. Don't deny it, don't be overwhelmed by it. It will not last forever. One day, the pain will be gone and you will still be there."                                            Harold S. Kushner

       Streep P ed. Spiritual Illuminations. Meditations for Inner Growth. Viking Studio Books, NY, 1992.

Ice Storm, Toronto, Christmas 2013

#348 Heart of Mindfulness Practice - Perseverance, Embracing "Difficulties"

     I was very excited to read the paper below on strengthening resiliency. It nicely describes "heart" as a collection of critical qualities that can be developed in a number of ways, such as sports and enduring a difficult childhood, but perhaps the most efficient laboratory-like conditions for creating heart is mindfulness practice. See: http://www.johnlovas.com/2013/06/heart-can-should-be-cultivated.html

     "Kokoro is the Japanese word for heart or fighting spirit. The Koreans refer to kokoro simply as the 'indomitable spirit.' ... it is something housed in all of us, and all we need to do is simply find ways to release it. ... Heart only needs to be tapped into and enriched.
     In martial arts, confidence, which can be defined as having trust in one's abilities, is recognized as being 'a product of one's previous experience.' Thus, training an individual by exposing him or her to supervised challenges that require 'reaching down inside' for heart teaches the student to have confidence in the ability to draw on fighting spirit when severely challenged. To be internalized, such training must be continually practiced and rehearsed. Such training is invaluable ... as everyone runs the risk of being exposed to traumatic stress."
       Bell CC, Suggs H. Using sports to strengthen resiliency in children. Training heart. Child Adolesc Psychiatr Clin N Am 1998; 7(4): 859-65.

     Heart allows one to PERSEVERE, and by experiencing a sequence of mini triumphs - daily meditation practice, sitting still for the predetermined time, despite urges to do stuff, itchy nose, stiffness, sleepiness, anxiety, boredom, plans, worries, etc, etc, etc one remains like-a-mountain sitting still - one builds internal strength to PERSEVERE, gradually transcending "ordinary unhappiness," finding greater and greater ease, equanimity, joy.

Anne Bastedo   http://www.serenityimages.ca

#304 Positive Psychology, Cynicism, Arrested Development, Mindfulness the Middle-Way

     In her book "Bright-Sided: How Positive Thinking is Undermining America," Barbara Ehrenreich (YouTube video below) rightly criticizes simplistic cheerleader-style optimism and associated intolerance towards critical thinking. Unfortunately, in a more recent YouTube "Barbara Ehrenreich - Smile or Die" she also explicitly states "cancer left me more cynical and meaner". Cancer can be a "shipwreck" experience - see: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/07/361-beyond-stress-management-resilience.html
     This reaction is understandable, but it's the sign of an early stage of adult psychosocial development ("spiritual journey"). Remaining stuck (wallowing) here is an unnecessary, sad, self-imposed life-sentence. This is NOT "as good as it gets." With intelligence, curiosity, perseverance, and energy we can definitely transcend this existential / spiritual dry period ("dark night of the soul").
     Mindfulness practice is all about fearlessly exploring what's real, who am I, how do I relate to reality in a way that reduces suffering (including my own), how can we experience the most profound quality of life. Mindfulness is not about being negative nor positive, but about waking up to & engaging reality.
     More about Normal Adult Development: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=development 

#297 Processing Obstacles to Meditation Practice, Cognitive Defusion, Attitudes, Moods

     After practicing sitting meditation for some time, one notices that the power of various apparent obstacles to this practice progressively, markedly diminish. Tickles, stiffness, muscle aches, mind chatter, obsessing over time, all gradually lose problematic intensity, and fade into the background, barely noticeable.
     Anything we perceive or think of, then focus on, and then quickly identify with, can become all-consuming, huge. This is exactly what we do by default, when we start to meditate, and this is precisely why most people stop meditating. Some people are simply not ready for cognitive defusion - letting go of identifying with transient attitudes & moods. To do so requires one to physically process (interoceptive exposure) ie sit still with & observe the temporary discomfort associated with not running from demons, nor chasing after magical solutions. Yes, it is very much like an addict undergoing detox.

     “The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.” William James

     "An attitude is an expression of favor or disfavor toward a person, place, thing, or event." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attitude_%28psychology%29

     "A mood is an emotional state. Moods differ from emotions in that they are less specific, less intense, and less likely to be triggered by a particular stimulus or event. Moods generally have either a positive or negative valence. In other words, people typically speak of being in a good mood or a bad mood." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mood_%28psychology%29 

http://stevemccurry.com/

#280 Koans to Guide Formal & Informal Mindfulness Practice

     While taking a walk during lunch break today, I noticed the familiar habit of switching back and forth from appreciating the freedom and refreshing simplicity of walking for its own sake, and my awareness repeatedly drifting off into planning and other stories. Life reflects formal mindfulness practice, & of course, vice versa.
     Whether formally practicing mindfulness (sitting meditation), out walking, or doing anything else, it's helpful to pose a koan or question to ourselves:
          • what if this were the first time I was experiencing this activity (sitting, yoga, tai chi, walking) ... 
          • what if this were the last time I ever experienced this activity ... 
          • what if this activity were to last forever 
          • in each case, what is the optimal attitude, posture, muscle tone - STATE of BEING?
     These provocative questions are meant to be held lightly yet savored in awareness long-term, and experienced physically (instead of quickly 'answered' intellectually), and these work on many levels: 
          • help us switch into beginner's mind - to observe things we've seen before with fresh eyes, without presumptions, in greater detail, much like a curious scientist;
          • allow us to drop the tendency to take unpredictables for granted: living a very long life, or being able to repeat this exact same activity whenever we want;
          • allow our compulsive, anxious striving for distraction / entertainment to settle, much like mud in a glass jar of water gradually settles to the bottom, leaving only clear water on top.
     Try these - see how they effect your practice, formal & informal.

Nova Scotia grapes - 2012 vintage

#191 The Battle vs the War

     It's easy to become disheartened by difficulties and obstacles that incessantly block our path. We all fantasize (much more than we realize), especially when trying to achieve some worthy goal, that God, Mother Nature, or "The Force" should walk on ahead of us to sweep away all annoyances and petty hindrances!
     That line of "reasoning" is flawed in many dimensions. First and foremost, difficulties in life spare no one. You are not alone! And the kicker: one's intelligent, conscious interaction with difficulties is precisely what creates a mature evolved person. In fact, truly successful well-rounded people typically have had a surprisingly challenging life - see Kenneth R. Pelletier's remarkable 1994 book: "Sound Mind, Sound Body: A New Model for Lifelong Health." Simon & Schuster.  https://drpelletier.com/
     So sticking it out, be it in a marathon or a job, may be the polar opposite of martyrdom and self-abuse - it may well be exactly what you need to grow as a human being. Accepting the inevitability of loosing many battles along the way helps us win the war - and emerge as an evolved wise person.