#759 Savoring Mindfully

     Positive psychology defines "savoring" as "the process of learning to focus attention on positive events to increase one's sensitivity to naturally rewarding experiences, such as enjoying a beautiful nature scene or experiencing a sense of connection with a loved one." Garland EL et al. "Mindfulness-Oriented Recovery Enhancement for Chronic Pain and Prescription Opioid Misuse: Results From an Early-Stage Randomized Controlled Trial." Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 2014; DOI: 10.1037/a0035798

     This differs from how I use the term mindful savoring in teaching MBSR, the central focus of which is seeing the full scope of reality clearly, as it actually is. My use of this term overlaps with the definition of "connoisseur," and may best illustrated thus:
     A wine expert (sommelier) can "blind taste" a variety of wines and with great accuracy, provide details of the type(s) of wine, type of grapes, country of origin, perhaps even the specific vineyard and year of harvest, and how well this particular vintage/winery combination represents the region. With great enthusiasm, a wine connoisseur can provide considerably more details than this, and yet actually consume little if any wine (they usually spit it into a special container), and unless the wine is actually spoiled (eg "corked"), will not indicate whether or not s/he personally "likes" or "dislikes" it. 
     Mindful savoring is based, first & foremost on intimacy - a profound openness to & interest in, a kind of love if you will - an open mind & heart - toward all wines & wine-making in general. This is qualitatively different from rigid, reactive, black-&-white judgments / personal preferences ("I hate this" - or - "I crave this").
     The important mindful aspects of savoring: non-judgmental, open / transpersonal (vs narrow / personal) awareness & psychological flexibility (vs rigidity).

     Consider the effect on your quality of life were you to mindfully savor the innumerable people & phenomena you encountered - the richness of the infinite variety of experiences is unimaginable. 

     In contrast to mindful savoring, aren't we more prone to rigidly identify with our preferences? How unlikely are we to meet people / phenomena that we rate amazingly desirable ("must haves") or that we rate terribly undesirable ("must avoids") - very seldom, right? But don't the vast majority of people / phenomena fit in between - the vast numbers of "neutrals" we hardly notice or even try to avoid, having judged them "boring"? (Remember the "inn-crowd" in high school?)
     To the extent that we fail to mindfully savor, our life is dull & frustrating,filled with wanting, striving, waiting & disappointment.

     Psychological flexibility paves the way towards de-armoring, knowledge about & intimacy with ourself, others & life in general. Rigidity, the opposite of psychological flexibility, is an armored dead-end: https://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.com/2013/01/261-psychological-rigidity-i-will.html

    
     

#376 Embracing Our One Precious Life

     People commonly mistake meditation practice for self-hypnosis - a way to escape real life by going into a trance & hang out in "a happy place".

     But meditation is the exact opposite of escaping reality. Meditation is a gentle way of waking up, with eyes, mind & heart wide open, and embracing reality every bit of it - joys, sorrows, as well as regular daily aspects - "the full catastrophe". To give our real life a grizzly-bear hug with a thundering 'YES!' from every cell in our body.

     So we should be aware of the "temptation, and inherent danger, of focusing exclusively on the positive aspects of self-development, whilst ignoring the challenges, struggles and losses which were also part of the growth process. Even the field of positive psychology acknowledges that nobody is happy all the time, that subjective well being is a mixture of both positive affect and negative affect and that whilst profound personal growth may occur during adulthood, it is often preceded by adversity or trauma. ... a psychological account which can embrace these contrasting aspects of change could enhance our understanding of the processes of growth." 

       Mercer J. Exploring the processes of self-development encountered by adult returners to higher education: A lifespan psychology perspective. Psychology Teaching Review 2010; 16(1): 24-36.

#304 Positive Psychology, Cynicism, Arrested Development, Mindfulness the Middle-Way

     In her book "Bright-Sided: How Positive Thinking is Undermining America," Barbara Ehrenreich (YouTube video below) rightly criticizes simplistic cheerleader-style optimism and associated intolerance towards critical thinking. Unfortunately, in a more recent YouTube "Barbara Ehrenreich - Smile or Die" she also explicitly states "cancer left me more cynical and meaner". Cancer can be a "shipwreck" experience - see: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/07/361-beyond-stress-management-resilience.html
     This reaction is understandable, but it's the sign of an early stage of adult psychosocial development ("spiritual journey"). Remaining stuck (wallowing) here is an unnecessary, sad, self-imposed life-sentence. This is NOT "as good as it gets." With intelligence, curiosity, perseverance, and energy we can definitely transcend this existential / spiritual dry period ("dark night of the soul").
     Mindfulness practice is all about fearlessly exploring what's real, who am I, how do I relate to reality in a way that reduces suffering (including my own), how can we experience the most profound quality of life. Mindfulness is not about being negative nor positive, but about waking up to & engaging reality.
     More about Normal Adult Development: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=development