#581 Character is Built upon our Choices

     Which of these two paths leads to true, lasting peace, joy & happiness? We ALL, repeatedly face this CHOICE.

     Path One: Surrounding yourself by people who agree with your rationalizations for past mistakes & failures, who agree that it was completely other peoples' fault, who agree that you're a victim of ..., who agree that you should get back at them - "lawyer up" etc, and who agree that there's no use trying because the world's not fair.
     This is the common, relatively easy path of the masses. It props up the ego - solidifies your old "identity". It is for those who can't see beyond "ordinary unhappiness."

     Path Two: Listening to one or more trusted people who advise you to deeply examine your mistakes & failures, who advise you to honestly face your role in these, who advise you to make amends to the people who were likely hurt by your actions, and then vowing to lead a meaningful life that you yourself, your family, and even strangers can respect and trust.
     This is the uncommon path, requiring strength, bravery and persistence. It is chosen by those for whom "ordinary unhappiness" = "a life unexamined" = "a life wasted." Here one transcends the ego, opening to "deeper degrees of truth about yourself, others, and the nature of mind. More and more, you live in awareness." (Larry Rosenberg)

     At any time, we can choose to leave behind an unsatisfying way of life, and start living one that's increasingly meaningful and inspiring to ourselves, our family, our community.

Keith Willette, National Geographic   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

#521 "Ordinary Unhappiness", Ideas about Happiness & the Real Thing

     Freud believed that the optimal state human beings could achieve is "ordinary unhappiness." 
     Today, the pendulum has swung to the opposite extreme. We seem to be obsessed with comfort & happiness. "How can I be happy?" is the central quest for many. Many seem to think that stable happiness is achievable, though they'd much prefer that their level of happiness steadily increased - why not go for the (imagined) "lifestyle of the rich & famous"?
     Don't most of us come to mindfulness practice because we can't realize our ideas about happiness? What if our ideas were "way off"? Can we, instead try, OPENING UP to REALITY?

Claudio Galli    www.dpreview.com

#507 Business as Usual?

     Each of us is deeply conditioned by our genetics, past & present life circumstances to perceive, think & behave in the unique, individual way that we each do. Though it may not look like it from others' perspectives, we're all literally doing our best, given all the varied complex inputs into our life.
     If we were to see a drowning person flailing away, we'd immediately - objectively - see how ineffective this was compared to a skilled swimmer's efficient, relatively effortless strokes & kicks. The drowning man's strokes don't measure up, yet he's surely doing his utmost best under the circumstances. He hasn't chosen to look ineffective, nor to be drowning. Were we to yell out instructions on how to improve his strokes, he'd ignore them, and get mad at us for not helping to pull him out.
     Most of us do a lot of flailing in our life! How many of us consistently engage daily life with graceful ease? How many of us consistently employ mature judgment, good humor, bringing about decreasing suffering & increasing joy for ourselves and all those around us for the long haul?
     Ineffectual, draining reactivity to life's challenges is the result of our unexamined conditioning. It's not our fault. But, how long we put up with this primitive "operating system" AND when we commit to upgrading to our more evolved "operating system" is ENTIRELY OUR CHOICE.
     Recognizing reactivity, accepting it, letting it go, and learning to stabilize in our more mature operating system needs to be experienced to be appreciated. Welcome to mindfulness practice.

Steve McCurry   stevemccurry.com

#505 One Continuum, Two States of Being

     Life can be a blur of busyness, commitments, deadlines, hassles & stress. It's easy to feel like a leaf swept away by a fast-moving river, unable to get out, not knowing where we're heading. It's easy to feel trapped, out of control, stressed, anxious & depressed.
     This is our basic, default level of consciousness - almost universal these days. Highly complex forces (social, political, economic, religious, military, etc) impact our lives, and we react to these as fast as we can, in order to survive. Truly serious, deep, meaningful, unavoidable issues - the existential facts of life (constant change, aging, sickness & death) - we ignore / postpone / suppress / repress as long as possible. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2012/03/88-avoidance-approach-dichotomy.html
     As life goes on, all of us periodically experience major traumas ("shipwrecks"), where our life as we knew it "falls apart."  
          Some of us implode, hardening in bitterness & cynicism, and may remain for life in this basic level of consciousness. 
          Others, after the same or worse trauma, open up, actively evolving, becoming stronger & wiser ("post-traumatic growth").
     See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/07/361-beyond-stress-management-resilience.html 
     And: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=post-traumatic+growth

     Those who actively evolve their consciousness realize that ordinary life pursuits, with or without psychotherapy, only take one up to, but not beyond "ordinary unhappiness." This realization can arise gradually and/or abruptly in the wake of major trauma (eg serious illness, job loss, death of loved ones, divorce, etc). Some people prioritize & actively pursue wisdom and do their best to fully integrate wisdom into their every thought, word & action. For them it is clear that this course of action makes life absolutely worth living.

Vivek Prakash   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

#406 Good People, Doing their Best, Rolling Down the Line

     At the start of each 8-week MBSR-style Mindfulness Training workshop, each participant is asked to share a bit about themselves, including what brought them to Mindfulness. Even though most participants don't know each other in the group yet, there's a remarkably touching honesty in their stories.
     The common theme is that they're working hard, often too hard, are suffering, and are looking for a way to decrease their suffering ("better manage stress"), and perhaps regain (or find for the first time) joy in life. At some point, I suspect most of us reach this realization, though unfortunately, many simply resign themselves to this sorry state of "ordinary unhappiness". They assume that, like a huge moving train, the momentum of their lives can't be re-directed.
     Fortunately, those who take Mindfulness training learn practical, evidence-based skills that help develop underutilized natural capacities for dramatically shifting their "operating system" - their trajectory, from dissonance, struggle & suffering, towards congruence, ease & joy. These folks must also deal with the momentum of their lives - a lifetime of conditioning, but have an open mind and are willing to use intelligent effort to intentionally, gradually, change towards a wiser way of life.

     "Wisdom is a function of deep insight into, and mature understanding of, the central existential issues of life, together with practical skill in responding to these issues in ways that enhance the deep wellbeing of all those who the responses affect." 
       Walsh R. The varieties of wisdom: Contemplative, cross-cultural, and integral contributions. Research in Human Development 2011; 8(2): 109-127.

Ireland

#348 Heart of Mindfulness Practice - Perseverance, Embracing "Difficulties"

     I was very excited to read the paper below on strengthening resiliency. It nicely describes "heart" as a collection of critical qualities that can be developed in a number of ways, such as sports and enduring a difficult childhood, but perhaps the most efficient laboratory-like conditions for creating heart is mindfulness practice. See: http://www.johnlovas.com/2013/06/heart-can-should-be-cultivated.html

     "Kokoro is the Japanese word for heart or fighting spirit. The Koreans refer to kokoro simply as the 'indomitable spirit.' ... it is something housed in all of us, and all we need to do is simply find ways to release it. ... Heart only needs to be tapped into and enriched.
     In martial arts, confidence, which can be defined as having trust in one's abilities, is recognized as being 'a product of one's previous experience.' Thus, training an individual by exposing him or her to supervised challenges that require 'reaching down inside' for heart teaches the student to have confidence in the ability to draw on fighting spirit when severely challenged. To be internalized, such training must be continually practiced and rehearsed. Such training is invaluable ... as everyone runs the risk of being exposed to traumatic stress."
       Bell CC, Suggs H. Using sports to strengthen resiliency in children. Training heart. Child Adolesc Psychiatr Clin N Am 1998; 7(4): 859-65.

     Heart allows one to PERSEVERE, and by experiencing a sequence of mini triumphs - daily meditation practice, sitting still for the predetermined time, despite urges to do stuff, itchy nose, stiffness, sleepiness, anxiety, boredom, plans, worries, etc, etc, etc one remains like-a-mountain sitting still - one builds internal strength to PERSEVERE, gradually transcending "ordinary unhappiness," finding greater and greater ease, equanimity, joy.

Anne Bastedo   http://www.serenityimages.ca