#581 Character is Built upon our Choices

     Which of these two paths leads to true, lasting peace, joy & happiness? We ALL, repeatedly face this CHOICE.

     Path One: Surrounding yourself by people who agree with your rationalizations for past mistakes & failures, who agree that it was completely other peoples' fault, who agree that you're a victim of ..., who agree that you should get back at them - "lawyer up" etc, and who agree that there's no use trying because the world's not fair.
     This is the common, relatively easy path of the masses. It props up the ego - solidifies your old "identity". It is for those who can't see beyond "ordinary unhappiness."

     Path Two: Listening to one or more trusted people who advise you to deeply examine your mistakes & failures, who advise you to honestly face your role in these, who advise you to make amends to the people who were likely hurt by your actions, and then vowing to lead a meaningful life that you yourself, your family, and even strangers can respect and trust.
     This is the uncommon path, requiring strength, bravery and persistence. It is chosen by those for whom "ordinary unhappiness" = "a life unexamined" = "a life wasted." Here one transcends the ego, opening to "deeper degrees of truth about yourself, others, and the nature of mind. More and more, you live in awareness." (Larry Rosenberg)

     At any time, we can choose to leave behind an unsatisfying way of life, and start living one that's increasingly meaningful and inspiring to ourselves, our family, our community.

Keith Willette, National Geographic   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

#484 Consciously Embracing Energy

     Moment-by-moment we make an incredible number of decisions automatically - without conscious awareness of making any of them: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=avoidance
      A bit more awareness reveals that we prefer personal safety over danger, personal benefit over detriment, and maintaining status quo over growth. While the first two generally (not always) make sense, the last one is detrimental to us long-term, & flat out boring short-term. Embracing (instead of avoiding) growth-change is plugging directly into the vital energy of life.
     By becoming conscious about how our mind works (meta-awareness), we can override suboptimal automatic decisions. This wake-up call is essential for our overall quality of life - the more awake & aware, the better.

Elena Shumilova  http://www.flickr.com/photos/75571860@N06/11874722676/

#478 Prioritization, Choosing Wisely, Simplifying Our Lives

     All manner of opinions, on any subject at all, are instantly available on the web. Their credibility ranges from pure craziness to solidly-researched. But what does the average reader make of all this data? How can, or does s/he at all, prioritize quality over nonsense? Perhaps to avoid this quandary, some talk about "a level playing field" ie that today, all data is of equal value. This attitude may remove one's responsibility to prioritize based on quality, but of course it's absolute nonsense.

     One major problem we have is the constant deluge of choices, making us exhausted - we simply don't have the energy to research & intelligently prioritize all the innumerable options we face many times per day. Instead of allowing ourselves to drown in minutiae, we must learn to simplify our lives and prioritize.
     See: http://www.johnlovas.com/2014/01/timeless-process-of-open-hearted.html
     and: http://www.johnlovas.com/2012/03/healing.html

minzaw   www.dpreview.com

#434 Can We Choose Not to Join the Digital Dead?

     "'I am alarmed when it happens that I have walked a mile into the woods bodily, without getting there in spirit. In my afternoon walk I would fain forget all my morning occupations and my obligations to Society. But it sometimes happens that I cannot easily shake off the village. The thought of some work will run in my head and I am not where my body is - I am out of my senses.... What business have I in the woods, if I am thinking of something out of the woods?'                       Henry David Thoreau
 
     'Shake off the village' - what a great way of expressing a vitally important human need. Since Thoreau's time, the village has grown exponentially bigger and become more intrusive and seemingly intimate - giving us the semblance of connection without any of the real benefits of connection. Technology has enabled the village to become exceptionally good at not allowing us to shake it off. With the advent of the smartphone, getting away from it all is no longer as easy as simply getting up and walking away. And, increasingly, people are making the choice not to even try to shake off the village - surrendering to a life of distractions, with the result that, as Thoreau put it, we are living much of our lives out of our senses. Wayne Curtis calls them 'the digital dead, shuffling slowly, their eyes affixed to a small screen in their hands.'"                      Arianna Huffington

The whole article is well worth reading:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/arianna-huffington/hemingway-thoreau-jeffers_b_3837002.html

#385 Understanding Willpower & Competing Goals

     Health psychologist Kelly McGonigal PhD, author of "The WillPower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It", defines a willpower challenge as "basically a competition between two parts of yourself. Even though we have one brain, we actually have two minds. And we are completely different people, depending on which systems of the brain are more active. So a willpower challenge is anything where those two versions of yourself have competing goals. 
     For example, a part of you may really want to eat a candybar for a snack, and there’s a part of you that has longer-term goals - thinking of health, weight-loss, bikini season, etc and the banana seems like the better snack. Both of these choices you may be drawn to by different parts of your mind – two different versions of yourself. You could be the very same person, but depending on your mindset, energy, stress levels – your brain is going to meet this willpower challenge in a different way, and you’re going to end up making one choice today and another choice tomorrow. 
     There’s a really interesting fundamental gap between what people know they should do and what they want to do. People are very identified with one version of their self – feel deep down that they’re the person who wants the candybar, and this other person who wants the banana – who is that? That’s not really me. 
     So I realized that people don’t just need to KNOW what’s the right or healthy thing to do, or tips for stress-management or productivity, they need to FEEL like this person and they need to BE this person as the default, rather than always walking around feeling like they had to resist this core self who only wants immediate gratification or never wants to do anything difficult.”

     THIS transformative shift - from surface concepts - to understanding in the marrow of one's bones - occurs by way of mindfulness meditation practice. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/08/381-each-moment-new-beginning.html

#226 Liberative perspective on Adult Development

     “It is difficult to summarize succinctly the liberative perspective (on adult development) because it encompasses such a diversity of developmental pathways, from coping with stress to meditation. However, the function of liberative development is to reduce conditioning (or hyperhabituation or mindlessness, to use different theorists’ terms) derived from external and internal sources. Adult development is thus not merely a product of biology and social adaptation, but also involves individual choice & personal commitment to change. Indeed it should be viewed almost as the antithesis of childhood development. Throughout childhood and adolescence, one develops complex schemes and habituates to specific stimuli, until advanced levels of biological, cognitive, and social / emotional development are reached – physical maturation, abstract thinking, and autonomy. The liberative perspective requires that, for optimal adult development to occur, the individual must deconstruct the existing framework or at least not be constrained by expectations about how one should act or feel. Ideally, one returns to a state of receptivity or child-like openness to experience.”

         Levenson MR, Crumpler CA. Three Models of Adult Development. Human Development 1996; 39: 135-49. 

Photo: senn_b   www.dpreview.com

#209 Choices, choices, choices ... Moment-by-moment

     You may recall stories or cartoons of a little angel sitting on one shoulder whispering advice to do the right thing, while on the opposite shoulder sits a little devil, whispering the opposite advice into the other ear. Angels and devils notwithstanding, we do, consciously or subconsciously, make innumerable decisions daily. These decisions are often between short-term self interest ("noisy ego") vs long-term interest for all (plain common sense when one is hypo-egoic).
     North American society has traditionally idolized the "self-made" individual, who quickly rises above everyone else to become rich & famous. If we think for a moment in terms of biology and ecology, what type of cell quickly rises to dominate all other cells? Cancer. What impact does it have on the whole body? Is it sustainable?

     Can we progressively become more consciously aware of moment-to-moment choices? Can we progressively choose in the direction of what makes sense for the long-term welfare of us all?

Tangled Garden, Grand Pré, Nova Scotia   http://www.tangledgardenherbs.ca/