#730 Excellence: Loving Awareness, Gratitude & Self-reflection

     Perhaps the most common misunderstanding about mindfulness is that it doesn't work in the "real world" (of competing, adversarial egos). Our ego insists, not surprisingly, that the only way to "win" is by being self-centered (noisy ego, egocentric), on autopilot (fear-based reactivity, brain stem), and ignoring our mind-heart (prefrontal cortex).
     But as we gradually mature with age, or are forced to rapidly mature (see Post-traumatic Growth: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=post-traumatic+growth) we directly experience the truth that the only real success is authenticity. And authenticity is what's left after all our conditioned defensive & offensive reactivity drops off. 
     Let's see how Lionel made out with authenticity in the "real world":

     Lionel Sanders of Windsor, Ontario, overcomes addiction & sets a new world record in perhaps the most challenging of human sporting events - the Ironman Competition, completing the grueling triathlon in 7 hours, 44 minutes, 32 seconds.
     Carol Off: It's just an absolutely remarkable story in every way — including how you got into it. Can you give your secret? What do you have to do? What do you have to have in your psyche and in your body in order to do this?
     Lionel Sanders: Sure. I think the biggest thing has been that I really try and cultivate love for what I am doing and a passion for what I'm doing. And the day-to-day training, I don't dread it. I love every minute of it. And it wasn't always that way, you know. But I always try and put into perspective of just how much of a privilege this is — just to have the use of your body. So I always cultivate that. And that brings a certain level of awareness and presence to my day-to-day training, which allows me to push my limits. And then as well, I would say the other thing is after every race, I try and look at it objectively — the bad ones in particular — and I try figure out a way to correct all the things I did wrong. And I do that after every single race, and I'll do that after this race as well. And there was still lots of things that I could improve upon for the next time around.

     CBC Radio's As It Happens, interview by Carol Off: http://www.cbc.ca/radio/asithappens/as-it-happens-tuesday-edition-1.3861211/ontario-s-lionel-sanders-overcomes-addiction-sets-new-ironman-world-record-1.3861212

Courtesy of Lionel Sanders

#727 Which Mode to Choose?

     Our minds operate, and thus we live, predominantly, in one of two very distinct modes.
     Conditioned mode:
Based on the capacities we inherit (DNA) and the influences of our environment, we learn a set of reaction patterns that favor our (DNA's / progeny's) survival. This is basic conditioning shared by all animals - like training rats in a cage. This set of reaction patterns is who we assume we are most of the time - our identity! It feels easy, automatic / autopilot, "natural", "don't rock the boat", trance-like. It's one more-or-less continuous, uninterrupted "story of me". We (and others) do gradually start seeing how predictable we are. So this approach to life does increasingly become repetitious, boring, almost claustrophobic.
     Awake awareness mode:
Sporadically, spontaneously, we sometimes feel very bright, alert, we sense everything much more clearly, are speechless (wordless), feel a sense of awe, gratitude, and feel amazingly alive. This silent, brightly alert, deeply peaceful sense can also be felt witnessing nature, a loved one (human or pet), hearing or reading poetry, wisdom literature, music, etc. This quality of awareness / life can be intentionally cultivated through, and experienced during meditation. What is awake awareness? Who are we?

     During the day, we can learn to regularly notice which mode we're in. We learn to increasingly choose awake awareness - to see with fresh eyes, think fresh creative thoughts, behave in fresh healthier ways. http://www.johnlovas.com/2016/07/fresh-opportunities-many-times-per.html
     Returning to the land of the walking dead (conditioned mode) is less and less palatable.

#702 The Best Defense is ... What?

     The idea that the best defense is a strong offense might explain some peoples' apparent unprovoked aggressiveness. They seem to be yelling: "Don't mess with me, I'm bad!" Maybe fear cowers behind facades of aggressive posturing. And don't we all, to a lesser degree, at least think, and perhaps speak with some hostility?
     So why is there so much defensiveness? Would there be any if we had all received perfect unconditional love from day one? Perhaps behavior is conditioned by all - remembered & forgotten - past experiences. So maybe nothing is completely unprovoked - the present situation may just be stirring up an old wound.
     For me, the most impressive individual is authentic, open and decent. Such (rare) people have dropped their offensive-defensiveness ball & chain. They're able to simply connect directly - one human being to another. I suspect they began with self-observation & self-acceptance, which then spread to acceptance of others. Awareness & acceptance nurtures unconditional love, authenticity & peace.

#611 Healing is in My Hands

     All of us have been traumatized many times, in many ways. These hurts and traumas conditioned us to try to avoid re-injury from similar situations. Conditioning is not only reactive but also proactive. When we're wise, we nurture ourselves and each other to flourish, like loving grandparents. When we lack wisdom, we re-traumatize ourselves and each other, like cruel children. We choose to do one or the other, countless times, every day.
     Nurturing and traumatizing feel very different. Their impact, on ourselves and everyone else, is as different as heaven or hell. 
     May I be progressively more mindful to nurture more & more, and traumatize less & less.

#598 Relaxation & Clarity

     "When there is less intensity, the mind becomes more relaxed and thereby able to quieten and open to its innate spaciousness and clarity."

     This statement runs so contrary to our cultural conditioning, that we need to experience its veracity before we believe it. And the momentum of our habits is so strong, that we need to experience it many times before we trust it sufficiently to intentionally put it into practice. Yet ...

     "As we deepen our sense of ease with ourselves, the fundamental wounding to our self-identity will soften. This softening leads to a greater inner space that can more naturally respond to others. While we are caught in our wounded self-preoccupations, we have no space for others. An inner atmosphere of compassion and acceptance slowly softens the rigidity of our wounding. As we become less self-preoccupied we begin to find the capacity to respond to others, and we may discover that we are able to be present, compassionate, and caring without judging. Our compassion grows as we allow others to be who they are with their faults and struggles, their unique qualities and gifts."

       Preece R. "The Wisdom of Imperfection. The Challenge of Individuation in Buddhist Life." Snow Lion Publications, Ithaca NY, 2006.

 

Antonio Celso Lima Mollo, National Geographic   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com

#577 Awareness or "Ordinary Mind" - Choosing Wisely

     Mindfulness training reduces stress by letting us function at a higher level of consciousness.
     Our "ordinary mind", is very useful when assigned certain specific tasks eg solve a math problem. But let loose, it tends to grind out an awful lot of unhelpful, to agonizingly disruptive material (wallowing, catastrophizing, daydreaming, anxiety, confusion).
     Awareness, on the other hand, is marked by clarity, silence, stillness, peace, timelessness, kindness, and joy. Note the absence of struggle, stress and suffering. This level of consciousness is our birthright as human beings - homo sapiens sapiens. Over thousands of years, we've been gradually evolving to inhabit this level of consciousness with increasing stability. Mindfulness practices are designed to help us get there in THIS lifetime.
     We're so conditioned to identifying with (instead of simply using) "ordinary mind", that it's our default mode of consciousness AND way of being. Stressed out, struggling, inefficient is how we see ourselves! Even while taking an 8-week Mindfulness course, some participants drop out when their academic / work stresses rise! These folks trust ordinary mind when what they need is the more efficient, more effective, stress-free, higher level of consciousness. This, like other aspects of our conditioning, needs to be deeply examined and questioned. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2014/10/576-practicality-of-prioritizing-quality.html

     Very closely related to trusting the old grit your teeth & grunt approach to work over a more mindful approach, is ignoring self-care and trusting that putting everything directly into one's work is the answer (to what ?). See: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2014/10/quality-of-life-for-one-for-all.html

     A funny, yet very serious aspect of "trust" to examine deeply, in one's own life: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2014/02/492-mindfulness-practice-real-world.html

IraE   www.dpreview.com

#397 Wise Behaviour Only Arises from Wisdom

     From birth we're conditioned to act in ways that please our parents, families, then friends, teachers, then bosses, co-workers, and the rest of society. Whether we did or did not accomplish an act is clear, easily judged. How well we did it is much more difficult to judge, and is somewhat subjective. Our attitude & intentions while accomplishing the act are very difficult for someone else to judge.
     So based on a lifetime of conditioning, many of us live our lives tightly governed by external approval of our actions. We become compulsive doers, "overachievers", "terribly busy", to the detriment of our attitudes, intentions, emotions - our inner life.
     Many of us literally fear peace, quiet, tranquility, stillness, self-reflection, meditation etc assuming that these might somehow competitively inhibit our ability to act (loss of external approval). We become anxious when we have even a bit of free, unstructured "down time".
     Indeed a part of us (brain stem) is conditioned to react with an approach-avoidance reflex to (societal & other) stimuli. However, the most highly evolved part of our brain (prefrontal cortex) is the seat of our executive function, mature judgment, meaning, values, attitude, intentions, quality (vs quantity), long-term goals ... our vitally critical inner life that should be directing our outer life.
     Civilized mature human beings should be intentionally cultivating their ability to operate with their FULL mental / human capacity. Meditation is an important means of achieving this for oneself. Universities must assume leadership to ensure their graduates are WISE, not simply reacting to societal pressures via primitive reflexes. 

#382 Choosing to be Free - Moment-by-Moment

     "The crucial factor influencing how well we can respond in any given situation seems to be the level of mindfulness we can bring to bear upon the moment.
     If we don't care to be present, unconscious decision-making systems will function by default to get us through to the next moment, albeit in the grips of (often flawed and suffering-causing) learned behaviors and conditioned responses.
     If, on the other hand, we can increase the amount of conscious awareness present by manifesting mindfulness, we expand the range of our possible responses. Even if predisposed to anger, we can choose to act with kindness. This is the essence of our freedom in an otherwise heavily conditioned system."                            Andrew Olendzki PhD

 

Kensington Market, Toronto

#373 How Free is our Free Will?

     In the introduction to his short book “Free Will” (Free Press, 2012), Sam Harris writes: 
    “The popular conception of free will seems to rest on two assumptions: 1) that each of us could have behaved differently than we did in the past, and 2) that we are the conscious source of most of our thoughts and actions in the present. As we are about to see, however, both of these assumptions are false. 
     But the deeper truth is that free will doesn’t even correspond to any subjective fact about us – and introspection soon proves as hostile to the idea as the laws of physics are. Seeming acts of volition merely arise spontaneously (whether caused, uncaused, or probabilistically inclined, it makes no difference) and cannot be traced to a point of origin in our conscious minds. A moment or two of serious self-scrutiny, and you might observe that you no more decide the next thought you think than the next thought I write.”

     When we devote no more than the odd moment to contemplate who we are, and how we relate to our environment, Harris is correct, we do remain locked into being thoroughly conditioned by our past history, genetics, etc. Conditioning powerfully, predictably programs specific responses to specific stimuli. Our default mode is indeed primitive conditioned reactivity - we live much (ALL according to Harris) of our lives on autopilot. Sadly, most of us behave based on the complex cocktail of causes & conditions of our past - our future 'set in stone' by our past - with no chance of creatively carving out new, qualitatively better possibilities. 

     The timeless exhortations to "Know Thyself!" and "A Life Unexamined is Not Worth Living" point to the power of conditioning to enslave, BUT ALSO to the fact that there is A WAY OUT of an otherwise pre-programmed, robotic existence.
     Einstein said, "We cannot solve the problems of today at the level of thinking at which they were first created." Since our "normal" level of thinking is conditioned, it cannot solve the problem of conditioning. Contemplative practices such as mindfulness meditation are designed to free us from the prison of conditioning by cultivating a more evolved level of awareness that leads to wisdom.
     "Wisdom is a function of deep insight into, and mature understanding of, the central existential issues of life, together with practical skill in responding to these issues in ways that enhance the deep wellbeing of all those who the responses affect." 
       Walsh R. The varieties of wisdom: Contemplative, cross-cultural, and integral contributions. Research in Human Development 2011; 8(2): 109-127.

eaglevshawk   www.dpreview.com

#350 Conditioned Reflexes, Autopilot AND Conscious Awareness, Mature Judgment

     During meditation, as loud self-talk settles down, we gradually notice that a much quieter self-talk continues unabated. Also, despite our efforts to let go of thinking, we notice that we're periodically whisked off by a train of thought - one that may not even be particularly interesting. Patiently, peacefully, seamlessly we turn attention back to the here-and-now.
     It takes moderate effort to remain alert, conscious of what precisely is going on in our mind-body moment-by-moment. Monitoring posture, muscle-tone, breath and mind requires moderate effort. Not enough effort, and we go on autopilot or night-time sleep. Too much effort, and we go into striving, doing mode, trying to force something that isn't real, isn't helpful.
     We gradually learn not to take conditioned habits so seriously. Conditioning turns out to be a sadly simple affair as we come to appreciate it in greater detail - with frightening similarity to a drunk's predictable behavior. Sadder still is remaining on conditioning's autopilot.
     Meditation literally allows us to objectively, directly see our (primitive) conditioned reflexes AND gives us the choice, the freedom, the opportunity to try something infinitely better. In "observer-self" we are simultaneously conscious of conditioning AND the creative freedom to choose differently, consciously, wisely. Awareness increasingly stabilizes so we can live in an increasingly mature, evolved, wise manner.

Rick Wianecki   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com/photography/

#259 In-groups, Self-centeredness, Maturity & Wisdom

     "My country - right or wrong!" is a controversial position still held by some. Such "group think" attitudes allow the group to commit atrocities. To permit atrocities to happen, the majority of followers must at least fail to oppose, if not actively participate. Yet, as soon as a leadership falls, the previously silent majority starts to whimper: "We were only following orders"; "We didn't know these things were happening."
     A proportion of the population will ride along with anything that provides easy access to power, wealth and security - ethics and common decency be damned. Too self-centered and weak to care for anyone but themselves, short-term gain is their game. Such opportunists completely identify with whatever group holds power: country, ethnicity, political party, religion, profession, cult, tribe, gang, etc, and against outsiders. 

     Some of us will, instead, actively seek and increasingly grow in wisdom. To do so requires that we outgrow self-serving in-groups.
     Wisdom is “a developmental process involving self-transcendence. Self-transcendence refers to the ability to move beyond self-centered consciousness, and to see things as they are with clear awareness of human nature and human problems, and with a considerable measure of freedom from biological and social conditioning. This ability to move beyond a self-centered perspective is certainly an important component of wisdom. Consistent with this idea, … transcending the self is needed to move beyond ingrained, automatic ways of thinking, feeling, and acting, and to connect empathetically with the experiences of others.”

     Le TN, Levenson MR. Wisdom as self-transcendence: What's love (& individualism) got to do with it? Journal of Research in Personality 2005; 39(4): 443-457.

Carsten Krieger Photography   http://www.carstenkrieger.com/

#226 Liberative perspective on Adult Development

     “It is difficult to summarize succinctly the liberative perspective (on adult development) because it encompasses such a diversity of developmental pathways, from coping with stress to meditation. However, the function of liberative development is to reduce conditioning (or hyperhabituation or mindlessness, to use different theorists’ terms) derived from external and internal sources. Adult development is thus not merely a product of biology and social adaptation, but also involves individual choice & personal commitment to change. Indeed it should be viewed almost as the antithesis of childhood development. Throughout childhood and adolescence, one develops complex schemes and habituates to specific stimuli, until advanced levels of biological, cognitive, and social / emotional development are reached – physical maturation, abstract thinking, and autonomy. The liberative perspective requires that, for optimal adult development to occur, the individual must deconstruct the existing framework or at least not be constrained by expectations about how one should act or feel. Ideally, one returns to a state of receptivity or child-like openness to experience.”

         Levenson MR, Crumpler CA. Three Models of Adult Development. Human Development 1996; 39: 135-49. 

Photo: senn_b   www.dpreview.com