#500 Changes, Ambivalence & Progress

     Most of us start Mindfulness training with the (realistic) hope & expectation that we'll become better able to handle life's stresses. Clearly, we ourselves expect to change, becoming more resilient, thus being able to enjoy an improved quality of life.
     Though we're intent on changing ourselves - at the same time - we're deeply ambivalent. This ambivalence is perfectly natural & healthy. We tend to identify with a certain sense of self, self-concept or ego, which we (mistakenly) assume to be permanently fixed & stable. Change to one's self-image feels threatening, and may evoke fear & anxiety. Knowing this, and realizing that our self-concept is actually constantly evolving over time, and remembering that we are, through Mindfulness practice, intentionally promoting & guiding the natural evolution of our consciousness, we can become consciously aware of, & accept our natural ambivalence, and proceed gently, at our own healthy, physiologic pace.