#708 Authenticity, Safety AND Courage

     Authenticity is an absolute requirement for peace of mind and real life satisfaction. Yet, we rarely express honestly who we are & our core values. Too often we feel that who we really are would be unwelcome - even unsafe, to share with colleagues, friends or even family.
     The mind-numbing "comfort zone" is where we tend to languish. A lot of unhealthy pressure builds up from "living a lie", so we "act out", causing ourselves & others untold suffering.
     A number of "safe places" have been created to allow people to speak from their heart: sweat lodges, talking circles, individual and group psychotherapy sessions, truth and reconciliation events, restorative justice processes, support groups, Balint groups for physicians, etc. But these are only safety vents, not living an undivided life.

      Living authentically - thriving - happens at our growing edge. So it demands courage and energy to show up there. Living an authentic life is all about showing up, over & over & over again, at our growing edge, with an open heart-mind.
     A wonderful example of one person's courageous resolve to live authentically is beautifully explored in the 2014 documentary by and about Lacey Schwartz: "Little White Lie", available on Netflix and iTunes.

Lacey Schwartz - Photo: Nicholas Calcott

 

#240 Adversarial Relationships, Friction, Core Values, & Quality of Life

     Increased sensitivity to physical feelings of inner conflict or friction can be acquired if one is interested and motivated. Like any engine, we don't operate or feel well when there's friction - pitting one thing against another. And what's the basic friction in life? Going after or running away from something that's not worth catching / can't be caught - eg fame, or that can't be escaped / should be experienced instead of avoided - eg doing one's share of work.
     So where's the rub that creates friction? These shallow desires & compulsions conflict with, rub against, our deep universal human core values. When we addictively chase after or run from meaningless fluff, we rub against our own grain - we have an adversarial relationship with our true self. This conflict is impossible to win - no wonder there's so much misery.
     The only possible positive long-term outcome results from going deep within ourselves, learning who we truly are, and ACTING in congruence with & EMBODYING this evolved mature identity or consciousness. When we start living this authentic, meaningful life, the frantic chasing abates on its own, naturally. We come to realize that we are now at home in this body, in this world. This is mindfulness practice.

     There is "a longing for ways of speaking of the human experience of depth, meaning, mystery, moral purpose, transcendence, wholeness, intuition, vulnerability, tenderness, courage, the capacity to love … it arises from the hunger for authenticity, for correspondence between one’s inner and outer lives. … there is a desire to break through into a more spacious and nourishing conception of the common life we all share. … trust, loyalty, and connection, find place and resonance.”
          Parks SD. Big questions, worthy dreams. Mentoring young adults in their search for meaning, purpose, and faith. John Wiley & Sons, San Francisco, 2000.

Seize each Precious Moment to be Authentic