"Deep listening" is skillfully paying attention to what a person really means. It requires that we be as unbiased, curious, open-minded, non-judgmental as possible. Good qualitative research also demands that we embody these qualities. As does conflict resolution - not to mention sustaining meaningful relationships!!
Training in counseling, deep listening, conflict resolution, qualitative research, and mindfulness itself really helps us appreciate and accept other human beings' unique perspectives.
However, when someone behaves unethically, many of us become outraged and disgusted. We feel betrayed, cheated - and in fact we have been! Unethical behavior IS a betrayal of social bonds of trust - interdependence. One either promotes society's and the environment's welfare (healthy cell in synch with & supporting a healthy body) OR hurts the human family for personal gain (a rogue cancer cell, compromising the health & viability of the whole body, including itself).
Sociopaths tend to rationalize their crime(s). The behavior made perfect sense to them, at the time. "If you had been in my place, you would have done exactly the same thing!" Some unbiased people actually agree. Does it condone their actions? No - increasing our collective suffering is just plain wrong - regressive. EVERYONE must eventually come to appreciate this.
Can we judge them as different than or inferior to us? That's tricky. Why did they do what they did? The precise answer is literally because of everything that has ever happened in the universe, up till that point in time - each one of the gazillion events having different levels of influence on the pivotal event. We, however, have had different influences - so we really have no idea what it was like being them. The bottom line may well boil down to them having a less evolved (more primitive) worldview about how best survive & achieve happiness.
Regardless, nobody is disposable. Dangerous criminals should definitely be kept away from the public - some for the rest of their lives. Even people who commit horrific crimes are human beings. If we execute them, we sink to a level of brutality that we're trying to end. It's amazing how sane - even well-balanced - a lot of hardened criminals seem to become after serving decades in penitentiary. Even they can grow, mature as human beings - so I don't think it's wasting time or taxpayers' money.
Curiosity opens us up to the complexity of this wondrous universe. Quick, hardline "solutions" come very easy to many of us, unfortunately these are usually "half-baked", immature, with negative long-term repercussions, increasing suffering for everyone. We're in desperate need for more understanding and a gentler, more mature, nuanced approach to our many complex global issues.
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| Photo: Colin Bates http://www.coastalimageworks.com/ |
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