“Stress is the struggle with what is.” Stress is not in the stressor itself, be it cancer, Parkinson’s etc. Stress is in our relationship with the stressor. Steven D. Hickman PhD
Many people have rigid conscious or subconscious ideas of "must haves" or "must not haves." Another way of saying this is clinging and aversion. They cling to some idea of happiness - "if only I were rich, then I'd be happy." Or are averse to certain scenarios: "as long as my daughter lives with that man, I can never be happy." Unfortunately, these dysfunctional vows do work - against us. If we're determined to stake our happiness on external conditions, we're guaranteed misery.
If, on the other hand, we concentrate on cultivating a flexible, caring mindful attitude, external conditions become less of an obstacle, and more "grist for the mill" - helping us adapt to reality as it is. Our attitude adjustment has infinite growth potential over an entire lifetime.
Steven D. Hickman PhD - Mindfulness Intervention in Chronic Illness - 2007
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