#662 The Ultimate Nature of Human Existence

     "Do we understand the domain of being, or do we not? 
      Can we inhabit our lives while we have them to live, as if they were worth actually knowing with some degree of intimacy, so that we could live the lives that are ours to live and do actually the work that's ours to do, as opposed to being driven by a whole range of complex motives...?"                                     Jon Kabat-Zinn

#659 Do We Have It All Backwards?

     We (particularly men) rigidly pretend that happiness, our very survival, is entirely under our control. How? By surrounding ourselves metaphorically with a perfect semi-permeable membrane that keeps bad stuff out & pulls good stuff in. Many of us are obsessive doormen. Such a simple boundary, between a separate 'self' and a foreign, hostile environment, may be OK for amoebas, but ... 

     As we mature, we gradually release this illusion of control. Increasingly we recognize how deep quality of life is found in embracing every aspect of life - "the full catastrophe" - with an open heart-mind. Mindfulness practice is about consciously, intentionally maturing, coming home to our full potential, right now.
     Rather than anxiously flipping back & forth between aversion & craving, we gradually stabilize awareness, acceptance, spaciousness, ease & love. 


     No Boundaries: http://www.johnlovas.com/2012/01/healing-growth.html
     Wise Aging: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/search?q=aging

lewynn   www.dpreview.com

#655 Directly Experiencing What Is

     “… we have to drop our attachment to mental categories; then the true meaning can infuse us.”

     Tanahashi K, Chayat RS. “Endless Vow. The Zen Path of Soen Nakagawa.” Shambhala, Boston, 1996. 

#509 Letting Go of Friction & Noise

     We have automatic, conditioned reactions to many life events. Some reactions are avoidant or aversive - we try to keep unpleasant, difficult or otherwise threatening things away physically, away from our heart / emotions (via armoring) or at the very least away from our consciousness (via suppression, repression). We reflexively erect pretend boundaries or barriers between ourselves and challenging reality.
     Our other reactions involve grasping or clinging - we automatically chase after, try to catch & permanently hang onto things we want or think we must have. 
     Grasping arises from instinctive fearful neediness, avoidant behavior arises from instinctive fearful aversion. Both are fear-based & self-centered. Both are primitive instincts we share with animals, right down to single-cell organisms. This echo from our collective & personal evolutionary past expressed through our fearful inner child can be sufficiently powerful as to dominate our life OR at the very least, add a great deal of undesirable friction or noise.
     Enabling (in the negative, psychological sense - see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enabling) our inner child predictably drains us of energy, and predictably leads to suffering. As we gradually become aware of this repetitive, dysfunctional pattern, we become motivated to find a better way to live - more & more like the inner wise grandparent.
     Mindfulness practice is all about intentionally, gently but persistently, shifting (evolving) our level of consciousness ("operating system") from fearful child to wise adult.

Steve McCurry   stevemccurry.com

#439 Armored for Life?

     An ideal state of being for helping professionals, particularly when helping people with existential & mental health-related issues, is "therapeutic presence." See: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2013/11/therapeutic-presence.html
     Clinicians, mentors, coaches, teachers, parents all share the common ideal of motivating people to improve their quality of life - "health promotion." The more they care about doing this, the less "neutral" or "objective" (disinterested in the results of their efforts) they may appear.
     Presenting facts & stats with a take-it-or-leave-it attitude is risk-free for the presenter (though deadly boring).
     Engaging with one's audience as a team with a common goal is risky, yet can nurture a positive, useful, motivating energy - for those with shared goals.
     Intellect by itself is a way of keeping things at a safe, theoretical distance - an effective barrier to engagement. Many of us are heavily protected (armored) from much of life - we live almost exclusively in our heads.
     Engagement is complete mind-heart-body-spirit involvement. The capacity to engage can be developed intentionally through mindfulness practice, which catalyzes a gentle, progressive process of de-armoring. 

     Many of us will remain armored for life, rigidly resisting all suggestions to de-armor as unscientific, impractical, a "sales pitch" etc. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/01/261-psychological-rigidity-i-will.html This is understandable, but tragic. See: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2013/08/promoting-healthy-personality.html

gordonpritchard   www.dpreview.com

#437 Wholeness includes Everything

     "Wholeness is based on a balance & integration of opposites, not on getting rid of what we don't like. When we feel an inconsistency or conflict between inner experience and outer expression, between persona and shadow, fear and love, life and death, body and mind, or any other pairs of opposites, we experience pain and tension. According to the ancient Hindu scriptures, the Upanishads, wherever there is other there is fear, for fear is born of duality. We can be released from fear only when we recognize the unity of opposites and learn to balance the polarities of emotional experience in a context of healing awareness."

        Vaughn F. The Inward Arc. Healing in Psychotherapy and Spirituality. iUniverse.com Inc, Lincoln NE, 1995, 2000.

Fine young people behind Hope Blooms - see their inspiring story: http://hopeblooms.ca/

#436 Readiness for Change is Pivotal

     "According to the transtheoretical model of change, readiness for change is represented across a continuum, from 

          • precontemplation (denial or minimization of a problem),

          • contemplation (considering making change),

          • action (actively engaged in change), and 

          • maintenance (efforts taken to maintain changes already made)."

     This very recent study concluded that "most (current American) veterans presenting for Veteran Affairs mental health care services attend a limited number of visits. Those who report greater readiness for change attend a greater number of mental health visits in the year following intake. Motivational interviewing interventions implemented at entry into care may increase readiness for change and enhance use of needed mental health services."

       Jakupcak M. et al. Readiness for change predicts VA Mental Healthcare utilization among Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans. J Trauma Stress 2013; 26(1): 165-8.

     Readiness for change is, I strongly suspect, the single most important determinant re how much participants benefit from mindfulness workshops (not to mention the obvious: the quality & quantity of their participation). "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear."

     Intellectual curiosity can motivate people to register, but when not actually ready to change, their efforts may naturally be directed towards ensuring that conditions suit their status quo - they naturally identify with their preferences. Unfortunately, intellect is a very common wall or boundary between "self" and real life. Softening & dissolving boundaries is very important, at a healthy pace. For some of us, seeking the assistance of a mental health professional to help unblock natural healthy evolution is a remarkably wise choice.
       Wilber K. No boundary. Eastern and Western approaches to personal growth. Shambhala, Boston, 1979.

     When one is ready to change, one is open to trying new practices that are specifically designed to help participants experience & learn about their relationship to change itself. "Only have no preference" is a very useful koan or open question.

     Motivational interviewing is an evidence-based approach that's particularly effective in addiction work. Arguably, there are only quantitative differences between addiction to substances and the average person's clinging to the momentum of their sleep-walking life - or resistance to living a more consciously evolving life.

       May G. "Addiction and Grace. Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions." HarperCollins, NY, 1988. 

     See also: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/07/361-beyond-stress-management-resilience.html 

 

#422 The Direct Physical Feel of Things

     In mindfulness meditation practice we constantly bring attention to the PHYSICAL FEEL of various objects of attention: the breath in the belly (hara, dan tien or tanden), posture, muscle tone, sounds etc. At the same time, we let go of words, stories (self-talk), concepts etc. We emphasize direct experience of just this moment, then just this moment, then just this ... To stabilize just this, we notice when attention has drifted off, accept this as a fact, and seamlessly bring attention back to just this.
     Perception - the act of contacting sense objects -  becomes as clear & obvious as when physically touching a solid object. Awareness comes back home to our bodies, filling it like sand fills a bag of sand. We stand solidly on the earth, sit firmly on a chair or cushion. Perhaps this is what "groundedness" refers to.
     There is clarity, simplicity, a lightness of being to directness. We are progressively letting go of the many barriers (boundaries, avoidances, filters, defences etc) we previously erected between ourselves and life straight-up. These barriers were necessary, but are now hindrances that we intentionally release.

       Wilber K. No boundary. Eastern and Western approaches to personal growth. Shambhala, Boston, 1979.

#49 Reality - Optimal Pacing vs Avoidance

     Some of us avoid newscasts because it's mostly bad news; many of us avoid keeping tabs on how much we can afford to spend; and most of us take great pains to avoid thinking of our own mortality. We'll deal with these ... "when the time comes." Our culture places a very high priority on avoiding discomfort now, pretty much as if there were no tomorrow (personal & national debt crises, climate change etc). We tend to postpone dealing with life's challenging realities. Gradual exposure is necessary and adaptive, however, avoidant behaviour is problematic.
      “early, familial life narrows and heavily mediates the world for the child without ever being completely impermeable ... adult life, too, still requires powerful forms of insulation from the demands of worldliness. Some have more stomach for complexity and difficulty than others, but all of us have myriad ways of simplifying and sweetening reality. Adult life is never perfectly worldly: at best, it amounts to an ongoing increase in our understanding of how to remove various sorts of blinkers & filters and in our capacity to tolerate their removal.”
        Higgins C. Human conditions for teaching: The place of pedagogy in Arendt's Vita Activa. Teachers College Record 2010; 112(2): 407-445.

     Identity style theory suggests that people who prefer to use a diffuse-avoidant identity style are ‘‘reluctant to face up to and confront personal problems & decisions’’. This has been found to predict problematic qualities (eg neuroticism), coping & decisional strategies (e.g., disengagement), and mental health outcomes (eg depression).
        Beaumont SL. Identity styles and wisdom during emerging adulthood: Relationships with mindfulness and savoring. Identity: An International Journal of Theory and Research 2011; 11(2): 155-180.

 

Painting: Mark Brennan at: www.argylefineart.com